Met him on OkCupid

[crlandreneau]

This guy I slept with since last summer was telling me he might be my boyfriend/maybe/we'll see to I just don't want a girlfriend right now. After he told me that I don't sleep with him anymore I don't even kiss him. But he still texts me a lot and we still hang out as friends. Idk if he's seeing other women or not but I know he started talking to me more after I don't text him very much just to hang out.........we don't even kiss, after he said that. Do you think he would eventually change his mind? I was told we could be just friends for a while and he might change his mind. I think he's getting attached at least to seeing me because he's wanting me to go see him when he's bored. I know he has trouble getting laid and hanging out with women......he said he doesn't want a gf/never to oh maybe someday after I finish pilot school...... what're my odds? I know for a fact he wants to still have sex but agreed to just friends and still invites me over and has no other friends........or very few especially women. Still invites me over in fact more now after I stopped having sex......

 

[psychlo0015]

sounds like a homosexual trying new things...

 

[RedRum OG]

Move on. 100% guarantee frustration if you keep trying

Why would you try to force something to work when there are 100 dudes out there where it would work naturally? There is no reason to subject yourself to that lame ass behavior

 

[somnilicious]

Move on. 100% guarantee frustration if you keep trying

Why would you try to force something to work when there are 100 dudes out there where it would work naturally? There is no reason to subject yourself to that lame ass behavior

Why is it "lame ass behavior"? It sounds like he has been clear and up front since the beginning. He wants to finish school and doesn't want the complications of a relationship to interfere. What is wrong with that? He told her and isn't trying to hide anything. There should be nothing wrong with continuing an Amicable friendship with or without casual intimacy if both parties are honest about their expectations and are consenting.

To answer your question Op... I don't think he is going to change his mind anytime soon. If he told you he doesn't want a relationship then I would take his word at face value. That doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy your companionship and isn't attached to you at all but he made his intentions clear. Could he change his mind in the future? Yes...but I would listen to what he is telling you and don't expect anything else or you're setting yourself up to get hurt.

 

[Sirena Oscura]

Ive always wondered about guys I see on things like Bumble who are like less than 5/10 with nothing on their profile going for them but they make it *clear* they’re only interested in casual. Like okay, good luck?

Anyway, guys have learnt to be experts at non-committal assurances that it’s “possible” they may want more as they know it’s generally the only thing likely to get them laid.

Seems like even without sleeping with him he wants your company so that’s great for a friend, but it sounds like you want more. So once again whether you’re sleeping with him or not you’re making his needs met but not yours. You should probably work out what your needs really are- so you want a friend or FWB or something more? Because so far you don’t seem to be getting any of your needs met. You’re just being used one way or another if what you really want is more.

 

[atara]

Will he change? Eventually, probably. Will he change before you regret spending time with him? No. You can't sit around waiting for someone to grow up, it takes forever.

 

[RedRum OG]

Why is it "lame ass behavior"? It sounds like he has been clear and up front since the beginning. He wants to finish school and doesn't want the complications of a relationship to interfere. What is wrong with that? He told her and isn't trying to hide anything. There should be nothing wrong with continuing an Amicable friendship with or without casual intimacy if both parties are honest about their expectations and are consenting.

To answer your question Op... I don't think he is going to change his mind anytime soon. If he told you he doesn't want a relationship then I would take his word at face value. That doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy your companionship and isn't attached to you at all but he made his intentions clear. Could he change his mind in the future? Yes...but I would listen to what he is telling you and don't expect anything else or you're setting yourself up to get hurt.

He is aware she wants a relationship, but is keeping her around, at an arms length, hoping she will be desperate enough to throw some sex his way, because he struggles with women, and cant get sex in an honest manner. That's how I read it.

Not saying the OP isnt contributing to this, but that's not the behavior of a mature adult who cares about her feelings

 

[somnilicious]

He is aware she wants a relationship, but is keeping her around, at an arms length, hoping she will be desperate enough to throw some sex his way, because he struggles with women, and cant get sex in an honest manner. That's how I read it.

Not saying the OP isnt contributing to this, but that's not the behavior of a mature adult who cares about her feelings

I don't know. I think you're reading into it a lot, especially when it's a story told from one perspective. You can't possibly assume to know his intentions or know what struggles he has with women based off a post made 2nd hand. He told her he doesn't want a relationship. I don't understand what about it is immature but I'm not anymore privy to the situation than the paragraph post from the point of view of the OP. I don't want to detract from the intent of the post further. I apologize for diverting...