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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

Thats online, and usually after doing some type of euphoricant. I'm pretty much catatonic IRL these days. Idk, I was pretty sure it was situational but at this point I'm not so sure. Seems like it could be the reset I'm looking for
 
ControlDaddy said:
This was a long time ago so my research is not fresh in my mind now, and I’d have to do it again to get sources, but anecdotally I did a lot of research into Lamictal and libido. Turns out there are a lot of people, mostly purported females, that equate it with female Viagra. Take that with a grain of salt, since then I’ve learned that you can find anything you need to confirm any conspiracy you want, when you search in that shithole Reddit.
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Weird I was a total whore before I started lamictal. So I always associated it with that.. I am kind a walking talking toxicology report at times though so there’s that..
 
ControlDaddy said:
I don’t post here often, but I’ve been scoping this thread a lot, especially as I have been feeling the dawn of a depression each time I wake, or tire, into an in unmedicated, depressed state.

Perhaps I should get back on the Lamictal. There are lots of things I do every day now, since joining the community here, so perhaps I will find compliance with that drug as well.

I want to thank some of you who share here regularly like @QTpi @on.my.way🌿 @Zephyn @Freudzilla @AutoTripper @ions @TripSitterNZ @Buzz Lightbeer @deficiT, your participation is encouraging oh and I almost forgot @Vastness, your walls of text rival my own, I don’t care what people say about us ;)
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Thanks for spreading the love!
 
ControlDaddy said:
I have a friend whose job means they have to go into court to testify fairly regularly. She gets too dull to do her work when taking a benzo like Valium, so now she takes propanolol instead and says it works like a champ. Something to consider, maybe.
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Im only taking half a mg per hour, would just cry if I didnt lol.
 


ControlDaddy said:
Same goes for about a half dozen people I know who are still taking it, no side effects at all, and good prophylactic effect for depression. One person had a slight rash that went away right after the first couple days on it.
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Maybe you should go back on them? If they have helped you before?
 
on.my.way🌿 said:
Maybe you should go back on them? If they have helped you before?
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Yep, it really shouldn’t be much of a problem. The worst thing that could happen when I suggest it, is my shrinko shrugs his shoulders and says “if you insist but I doubt it will help much.” He’s had my ass figured out for more than a dozen years now, but I have profound trouble internalizing his analysis for very long. It’s a trick to do that when you are scatterblasted in the head and heart I guess.
 
ControlDaddy said:
I don’t post here often, but I’ve been scoping this thread a lot, especially as I have been feeling the dawn of a depression each time I wake, or tire, into an in unmedicated, depressed state.

Perhaps I should get back on the Lamictal. There are lots of things I do every day now, since joining the community here, so perhaps I will find compliance with that drug as well.

I want to thank some of you who share here regularly like @QTpi @on.my.way🌿 @Zephyn @Freudzilla @AutoTripper @ions @TripSitterNZ @Buzz Lightbeer @deficiT, your participation is encouraging oh and I almost forgot @Vastness, your walls of text rival my own, I don’t care what people say about us ;)
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People can say what they want about us everyone on that list rocks! Everyone has problems and down times.. Its the realest of the real who have the courage to talk about it and seek help dealing with whatever they need help with.. suffering in silence is so overrated build a life that you no longer need to escape from. And do it for you! And btw thank you for reading my ramblings as well! Sometimes little more than an incoherent ramble but that’s fine! Lol I wish you luck on reattempting lamictal! It’s been a wonder drug for me. Seriously.
 
Rhodiola Rosea is a powerful anti depressant for me, but the emptiness doesn't go away.
I'll be trying medication soon, but my next appointment with my psychiatrist is in 3 months.... My hypomanic ass convinced her that all was perfect and that I will manage sober. Lol.

I can't recall the last time I felt normal, on psychedelic peaks I can touch base with my true self but that's short lived and then I get hypomanic again.

I also stopped seeing my psychologist, therapy was slow and superficial, I don't need him affirming everything I'm saying, I need to be challenged damnit.
On etizolam again.... not my usual DOC, on the contrary, but time goes fast.
 
I’m not counting days really, but it feels good to have switched from bender to Day 1 of sobriety. I felt a bit anxious in bed when I woke up and just lay there for an hour unable to get up yet unable to go back to sleep. As always the anxiety passed quickly as soon as I forced myself to get up and confront the day. A modest dose of dexamphetamine (20mg), 2 double espressos and a fresh fruit smoothie and I feel really rather cheerful.

Someone I thought was fast becoming my nemesis last night turned out not to be so I may have been just about to tip over into some kind of paranoia. Which is just another reminded it was past time to quit. I’ve been able to read the newspapers so it feels I’m not too brain damaged. I’ll start proper work in an hour or two by reading the very dusty drafts of my first few thesis chapters and get a feel for how big the challenge to complete it is going to be. It’s really the one and only goal in my life at present. If I can’t make a substantive dent in it over the next month I think it will be time to withdraw and accept that yet again I’ve fucked something significant in my life with drugs. I’m too old at 50’ish to start too many more major career changing self-development projects. It’s make it or break it time.
 
Atelier3 said:
I’m not counting days really, but it feels good to have switched from bender to Day 1 of sobriety. I felt a bit anxious in bed when I woke up and just lay there for an hour unable to get up yet unable to go back to sleep. As always the anxiety passed quickly as soon as I forced myself to get up and confront the day. A modest dose of dexamphetamine (20mg), 2 double espressos and a fresh fruit smoothie and I feel really rather cheerful.

Someone I thought was fast becoming my nemesis last night turned out not to be so I may have been just about to tip over into some kind of paranoia. Which is just another reminded it was past time to quit. I’ve been able to read the newspapers so it feels I’m not too brain damaged. I’ll start proper work in an hour or two by reading the very dusty drafts of my first few thesis chapters and get a feel for how big the challenge to complete it is going to be. It’s really the one and only goal in my life at present. If I can’t make a substantive dent in it over the next month I think it will be time to withdraw and accept that yet again I’ve fucked something significant in my life with drugs. I’m too old at 50’ish to start too many more major career changing self-development projects. It’s make it or break it time.
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Let me know if I can help. I’m good at academic writing, I used to head up the the writing tutors at my school. If you could use my eyes, I’m happy to help.

A certain mod can mind her own business this time. Atelier3 is a big boy and can tell me to go screw if he wants to.
 
ControlDaddy said:
Let me know if I can help. I’m good at academic writing, I used to head up the the writing tutors at my school. If you could use my eyes, I’m happy to help.

A certain mod can mind her own business this time. Atelier3 is a big boy and can tell me to go screw if he wants to.
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Where were you last year when I had to write mine?? =D
 
ControlDaddy said:
Let me know if I can help. I’m good at academic writing, I used to head up the the writing tutors at my school. If you could use my eyes, I’m happy to help.

A certain mod can mind her own business this time. Atelier3 is a big boy and can tell me to go screw if he wants to.
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Judging by your ‘need an editor’ thread I expect at the moment you could have my current 60,000 words edited by lunchtime. I appreciate the kind offer.
 
Buzz Lightbeer said:
Where were you last year when I had to write mine?? =D
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A year ago, I thought I was nineteen, I couldn’t tell you my “real” name but would ask you if you knew what it might be, thought I had been given the wrong identity by some mistake, and that the patio off of my bedroom was a clam and crab shack where I worked part-time. You wouldn’t have wanted me, I don’t think!
 
ControlDaddy said:
A year ago, I thought I was nineteen, I couldn’t tell you my “real” name but would ask you if you knew what it might be, thought I had been given the wrong identity by some mistake, and that the patio off of my bedroom was a clam and crab shack where I worked part-time. You wouldn’t have wanted me, I don’t think!
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I see... sounds rough, glad you're good and kicking now at least ;)
The main problem with mine is that it somehow reeks of amphetamine, you can feel it in the air when reading, if one has a feel for that.
 
I don’t want this to be the end of my story at all.. there’s shit I gotta get done..but will it even matter if i don’t get it done.. still I don’t want my story to end here.. I swear to all that is holy I will make it through this night.. and feed upon the beauty of another day.. 😩😩 I will rest my weary eyes and transform as the Phoenix does into a better form..
 
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QTpi said:
Hi all,

This thread should be a safe haven for those with MI, where we can chat with each other and talk about how we are feeling for the day.

I have Bipolar Disorder, and today i feel pretty stable. I've been sober for a week now because i have a probation piss test coming up, but will soon do some meth. The thing is, i stay up all night when on it, so it could quite possibly make me hypomanic.

But what's wrong with a little hypomania when your on Lithium, Lamictal and Vraylar? Can't be that bad of a crash. I mean, i've done meth before on these meds and i was fine.. I obviously don't recommend it but self medication is such a big part of my life, unfortunately.

Anyway, hopefully i can get to know some of you and we can talk about problems, successes, and just anything that's on your mind.

:D
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Hello! I’m also Bipolar 1 and have used a lot of meth in the past and found it didn’t really interact with my meds (I take lamictal, abilify, and Viibryd). I do think however the meth blows away any stability you may have accomplished because of the meds. I’ve been shooting coke all night so I’m right there with you on the self medication tip. I really don’t know how to stop... I gots find a way though.
 
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