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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

So being "schizophrenic" Ive trained my consciousness or whatever it is a shit load. The loose associations are nothing. FUCKING HELL IM REALLY GOING TO REHAB TO STOP DAILY BUPRE AND GET WORK.
 
I wanna stop daily use. Using this crap daily is just stupid. I made a promise some months ago that Im gonna stop bupre when I dont feel it anymore and thats where I currently am.

I fucking want to work, Ive worked for 3 years when I was 17-21. Propably for 10 days or so after the court.
 
So Im not gonna go to a fucking rehab. Made a deal with my parents that I can detox there since they have a spare room now. Will be saving hundreds + have my pc there + AND dont need to spend time with the 5th timer rats.
 
So I finally got confirmation for why my best friend quit hanging around with me. Hes the type of person to not say things when need to. But anyways, half a year ago I sold one item he bought for me and because my memory is shit and stuff I sold it. I really didnt realize or remember it was his or I never would have sold it. Then few months ago I bought 16-20 concertas for half free from our mutual friend. Well I promised to give him and our other friend some. I gave both 5 and left 6-10 for myself. He thought it had 30 concertas and I cheated him. I also paid for the concertas and gave them away for free. Fuck these misunderstandings. He also still remembers the times I was prescribed benzos and was a horrible junkie. I hope in time we can be friends again. As Im taking steps to normalize life I think its possible.
 
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schizopath said:
So I finally got confirmation for why my best friend quit hanging around with me. Hes the type of person to not say things when need to. But anyways, half a year ago I sold one item he bought for me and because my memory is shit and stuff I sold it. I really didnt realize or remember it was his or I never would have sold it. Then few months ago I bought 16-20 concertas for half free from our mutual friend. Well I promised to give him and our other friend some. I gave both 5 and left 6-10 for myself. He thought it had 30 concertas and I cheated him. I also paid for the concertas and gave them away for free. Fuck these misunderstandings. He also still remembers the times I was prescribed benzos and was a horrible junkie. I hope in time we can be friends again. As Im taking steps to normalize life I think its possible.
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dam,
i feel ya , ive had frends like that,
how long have u been frends?
ive had some frends come and go but the ones ive known for years, even if there not around we will always be frends
 
We were like the Best friends and lived together and stuff. All of his friends he knows through me. He hasnt blocked me do Theres a chance... Need to talk it out and get my shit together. He didnt wanna go Hard on drugs though, and i had ublimited money to spend on drugs back then
 
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I’m not looking forward to work tomorrow.

I’ve been rather anxious today about it and other things, granted now the clonidine has dampened that.

Still... I’m tired. I’m sunburnt. I’m bored with the work. I hate waking up so early.
 
Sirena Oscura said:
I’m not looking forward to work tomorrow.

I’ve been rather anxious today about it and other things, granted now the clonidine has dampened that.

Still... I’m tired. I’m sunburnt. I’m bored with the work. I hate waking up so early.
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Work and BL are the two things keeping me connected to the world, otherwise I'd be an antisocial fa-REAK. Wait.. :unsure:

How is work going? You been there long? Is it boring?
 
madness00 said:
Work and BL are the two things keeping me connected to the world, otherwise I'd be an antisocial fa-REAK. Wait.. :unsure:

How is work going? You been there long? Is it boring?
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Ive been back from leave for two weeks and I’m very bored. I’ve been stuck at a COVID drive thru testing centre. The people are great, but the work is monotonous and being outdoors in 30+ degree weather is really awful. I want to go back to ward based nursing.
 
My next suicide attempt will not fail. Fuck my life from the childhood to adulthood. But fuck theres the issue with since I have brothers and shit. Fuck. But nevertheless we ll see how shit turns out. Ive already caused partly 2 deaths.
 
schizopath said:
My next suicide attempt will not fail. Fuck my life from the childhood to adulthood. But fuck theres the issue with since I have brothers and shit. Fuck. But nevertheless we ll see how shit turns out. Ive already caused partly 2 deaths.
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Dude you sell yourself pretty short in regards to being a good person.

You're a great person.

And have a lot of potential to do whatever you want.

Just be you my ninja - we love it.

 
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