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Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

g0df1sh

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 14, 2020
Messages
104
^ I'm in need of an adventure as well.

Hope everyone on this page isn't hurting too bad. It's all temporary and we have the power to take control of our tomorrow!

It may sound blah blah, but it's true.

<3

I'm in a great mood despite sucking wind at life in general.

ha.. true.
 

Sirena Oscura

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 22, 2020
Messages
637
Just had my Zoom psychologist sessions and I'm lowkey mad because she used her witchy ways to get things out of me I never intended to say. Something I have never told anyone else. That part of the reason I would immeditaley take my husband back and forgive him is because I feel like I can't blame somebody for not wanting to be around me. Bloody witch.
 

TripSitterNZ

Bluelighter
Joined
May 6, 2019
Messages
2,799
Location
The Dimension of LSD-25
Trying to overcome this cycle of depression feels draining but i have to keep moving foward even with no energy. Will be staying with a friend for a few weeks then come back. Keep having bad dreams doubting my plans for next year stupid intrusive thoughts.

Really want to do a year of sobriety next year but just starting it is tough atm where my only solace is drugs. Will try do a 1 hour daily mediation next year and keep at it and go gym. I believe this lifetime depression that comes and goes and is untreatable by everything still has a purpose of turning me towards enlightenment but im to fucking lazy to dedicate every waking moment of my life to it.

 

schizopath

Moderator: Music
Staff member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
13,374
Location
Dimension XYZÖ
One of my "friends", who judges my addiction and shit, dont want to believe me when I said one of his friends robbed my bupre. Glad that I got some real ones atleast. Fuck this bullshit.
 

g0df1sh

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 14, 2020
Messages
104
Trying to overcome this cycle of depression feels draining but i have to keep moving foward even with no energy. Will be staying with a friend for a few weeks then come back. Keep having bad dreams doubting my plans for next year stupid intrusive thoughts.

Really want to do a year of sobriety next year but just starting it is tough atm where my only solace is drugs. Will try do a 1 hour daily mediation next year and keep at it and go gym. I believe this lifetime depression that comes and goes and is untreatable by everything still has a purpose of turning me towards enlightenment but im to fucking lazy to dedicate every waking moment of my life to it.


You’re a potent creator..
I know it’s hard though, this place is tough. You don’t need to spend every waking moment dedicated to it - what you do is enough. Don’t know you too well but I loved your post on the god thread.

we’re here for you.
you got this!
 

sewerslide.666mg

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 12, 2019
Messages
1,791
Location
Valhalla
i called my dr to change my sleeping pill a week latter i got a bill for 150$ they suck i want to up my dose but dont want to have to pay for a 150 for a 3 min conversation so lame
 

on.my.way🌿

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2020
Messages
394
Anxious, but not depressed or suicidal. Life is ok.
I managed to quit weed for a few days, but then I had a week of fucking around with lyrica, tramadol, weed, shrooms and alcohol. Now it's just weed again. Was gonna quit again but got some money so bought a small amount today. We at least bought some food too and not only weed. Ugh. Zero income right now. Actually looked for some jobs today, no luck though. I don't think I could manage a job right now, but maybe if I work 50% or something.
It feels like im just repeating my life over and over again, straightening up, quitting, starting again. But at least the bad periods are getting shorter each time.

2 months since my abusive stalker ex got arrested. Im nervous about the trial. Somehow I forgot that his attorney is gonna ask me questions, and now I got all these worst case scenarios in my head. They have a lot of proof though, letters, emails, recordings and stuff. 50 cases of harrasment just on the letters he sent me lol. It's quite unusual to have so much proof with a trial like this, so that's nice.


I hope you are feeling well blue friends, it's been a while since I was on BL (just a few weeks I guess, felt a lot longer), but im glad to be back
 

sewerslide.666mg

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 12, 2019
Messages
1,791
Location
Valhalla
I feel like shit.
Put my dog to sleep today..
No matter how I try to spin it, I feel dark. Even knowing he’s not suffering anymore, I still feel like shit. I’m not ready to speak of him in past tense.
sorry to hear that, ita hard when pets die i feel ya,
im obssed with death but i take it hard when ppl/ pets die
 

Sirena Oscura

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 22, 2020
Messages
637
I feel like shit.
Put my dog to sleep today..
No matter how I try to spin it, I feel dark. Even knowing he’s not suffering anymore, I still feel like shit. I’m not ready to speak of him in past tense.
*huge bear hug* I’m so sorry.

That stops me in my tracks from wanting to complain about how tired and sore I am. Trying to avoid snorting the last of my coke.
 

sewerslide.666mg

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 12, 2019
Messages
1,791
Location
Valhalla
one time there was a parade u know hiw they drive slow, my dog jumped out of the car window and and hit a car tire, it was devastating he barely even hit the tire, it was a bad day
 

schizopath

Moderator: Music
Staff member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
13,374
Location
Dimension XYZÖ
So being "schizophrenic" Ive trained my consciousness or whatever it is a shit load. The loose associations are nothing. FUCKING HELL IM REALLY GOING TO REHAB TO STOP DAILY BUPRE AND GET WORK.
 

madness00

Sr. Moderator: NMI, MH, CD, SLR
Staff member
Joined
Aug 8, 2018
Messages
13,479
Location
New England
So being "schizophrenic" Ive trained my consciousness or whatever it is a shit load. The loose associations are nothing. FUCKING HELL IM REALLY GOING TO REHAB TO STOP DAILY BUPRE AND GET WORK.

For real?

How long?

Work is good do you know what you want?
 

schizopath

Moderator: Music
Staff member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
13,374
Location
Dimension XYZÖ
I wanna stop daily use. Using this crap daily is just stupid. I made a promise some months ago that Im gonna stop bupre when I dont feel it anymore and thats where I currently am.

I fucking want to work, Ive worked for 3 years when I was 17-21. Propably for 10 days or so after the court.
 

schizopath

Moderator: Music
Staff member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
13,374
Location
Dimension XYZÖ
So Im not gonna go to a fucking rehab. Made a deal with my parents that I can detox there since they have a spare room now. Will be saving hundreds + have my pc there + AND dont need to spend time with the 5th timer rats.
 
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