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Mental Health Mental health is down the drain....

Coffeeshroom

Coffeeshroom

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Jan 17, 2019
Messages
4,126
i feel like i got to the point that no one cares what i do or where i end up... I do so much for my family and friends and other people that are important to me but yet im just not good enough, Yeah this sounds like a pity party until the day i stop posting and that will be only for one reason... Cause im not here anymore..

Im sick and tired of not being good enough anymore for anyone no matter the situation or conditions. I feel helpless and just plain like im a burden. No matter what i do or what i contribute, it's never enough. Yes im on a slippery slope and no it's not drugs.

Suicide seems to be better solution then anything else. Even on here, you open yourself up to people on here and you either get ignored, or your post is of no significance. To be honest this was my safe place and even here i don't feel safe anymore, so sad for me and the rest of the people that is going to get saddened by my actions but i really have lost my will. Maybe it's just today and how things are going but the way it is now i honestly just don't want to carry on anymore. I feel lost and alone and worthless..

Guess there are a lot of people on here that feel the same but deal with it and come out stronger but as for me i just can't anymore. I just don't want to exist anymore as i think that would be the best for anyone around me or who knows me.
 
Suicide is not the answer, you will only hurt those people who you really care about & who really care about you, they will wake up every day with massive guilt thinking about what they could of done to of helped you, so speak to them & explain how you are feeling before you do anything to hurt yourself or you will never know. Try and set some goals. Get out in nature & exercise, eat healthily and try and open up properly to your family and friends, everyone is going through some traumatic difficult shit right now & you are not alone. I spend a lot of time by myself & that makes me question what is wrong with me or why don’t I make connections with lots of different people, no one can sort these issues out for you, it is all within you. Make some positive changes & this will flow into other aspects of your life. Read “how to make friends and influence people” or “the power of now” these books helped me a lot within a similar mind set to what you are dealing with. Good Luck & positive vibes
 
foolsgold25 said:
Suicide is not the answer, you will only hurt those people who you really care about & who really care about you, they will wake up every day with massive guilt thinking about what they could of done to of helped you, so speak to them & explain how you are feeling before you do anything to hurt yourself or you will never know. Try and set some goals. Get out in nature & exercise, eat healthily and try and open up properly to your family and friends, everyone is going through some traumatic difficult shit right now & you are not alone. I spend a lot of time by myself & that makes me question what is wrong with me or why don’t I make connections with lots of different people, no one can sort these issues out for you, it is all within you. Make some positive changes & this will flow into other aspects of your life. Read “how to make friends and influence people” or “the power of now” these books helped me a lot within a similar mind set to what you are dealing with. Good Luck & positive vibes
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i Don't want to burst your bubble but been there and done that and still it's the same. thanks for your input but im done repeating the same shit just to get by
 
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Down and out.
 
ah fuck it... i just packed a bag and left.. Im at a mates house now just blazing and contemplating my situation, in all reality this site needs to have recheck on it's "HR" policy it lives by. no offense to anyone (especially those thinking it's a joke hmgh clearing throat) so if you don't take a person seriously, then don't post. The mind is a weird but incredible thing. 5 seconds is all it takes... But luckily for me in my moment of despair and standing on the ledge i reached out to someone and they were there, fuck knows what i would have done by now without that mate. But all that aside.. Im busy thinking all of this through and all the outcomes that are possible and at the same time taking my own feelings into account for once. Will be staying with him for the next week or so untill i made up my mind and just come to the fact of how much i can reallly handle in reality and not. I have a lot on my plate, like i think most of us on here does. But that's a whole new story. So for me now i need distance from the situation. I need time... For now.
 
@Coffeeshroom

Mate, I'm just some fucking guy on the internet, but I meant it on NYE when I said you were my hero that night. The spontaneity and exuberance of that evening and how it manifested for you showed that the life that is in you is kicking and you did it in a way that I personally found appealing. That is to say that I see the value of your life, in spite of how little I know of you.

I've felt the same way as you for years, on and off and I just kept fucking going becacuse I'm a stubborn cunt, but also because I didn't want to miss the little moments in life that make it worth it, like your NYE. (My own life's been a bit boring lately.)

Live for yourself, not others. It's a lot easier that way.

I also learnt to think differently by convincing myself that suicide would only make the people who don't like me happy. Fuck that. I'd rather piss everyone off by still being here. They can fucking try dragging me off this rock.
What I realised though, over time, was that even my "enemies" in life valued me as a person. Even they could pick out a trait or two they admired.

I wish you well, and remember my offer if you need someone who sort of knows what it's like to talk to. <3
 
I have attempted suicide before and all it got me was a 7 day coma, hospital induced i might add and then 3 month in a psych ward. So that was a fail attempt but it's real and sooner people realize it the better, but dont feel like flogging a dead horse.

@SunriseChampion you seem to be dope bro. and thanks for the kind words. exactly what i needed. And im always up for a chat, pm me anytime.

@schizopath awe brother, aint that real.
 
I've never gone as far as actually attempting suicide, though some might argue that large parts of my life over the last 20 years were just that: a prolonged attempt at suicide through self-destructive behaviour.

Fuck knows. We still here. :D

Glad I could help. I spent a lot of time in my worst years inside my own head, dealing with my issues alone. It probably would have been helpful to have had even a nice word from a stranger in those days. :)
 
A lot of people who are addicted to drugs find themselves depressed whenever they aren't using. Takes a lot of discipline and help to get clean, but, with respect, I think that people have conquered greater habits. We believe in you here.
 
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