Sadly it has been over 10 years since it all went downhill for me. I just want to add that this definitely doesn't mean it will take anyone else this long to recover. My case is definitely complicated by pre existing anxiety issues. In fact it could be MDMA is nothing to do with my problems, although I obsess over the fact it probably is.
No MDMA incident ever triggered my issues, but I was using heavily around that period.
I have powerful generalised anxiety which manifests as derealisation, depersonalisation, difficulty concentrating and many physical sensations. I have strong social anxiety and in general feel like I suffer inside my head constantly. Life is hard. Sometimes very very hard. I do have good periods though where I get by ok and feel happy-ish. I just never ever have a peaceful experience since the day it all started, and feel as though my mind is incredibly noisy.
I take your point that 4g in 4 days is a lot, but actually 3.3g in 1 night is far worse. I really worry I have pushed myself past the brink and I am suffering from a permanently burnt out serotonin system. Medical professionals believe I am ok and my anxiety is psychological.
From what I have read this does sound very possible, and I think the cast majority of people who have these problems from drugs simply 'trip' a switch and then sustain it by worrying. The original drug incident is fairly insignificant- it just triggered it like a very stressful situation could. It seems to be that people get the same problems as me sometimes from just 1 pill, so I really don't think (logically) that it is brain damage. Unfortunately, the illogical part of me does believe it and I am scared to death by the worry
Thanks for replying so quickly by the way.