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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support)

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MagickalKat777

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I don't know if this is scientifically accurate but if you are altering neurotransmitters with an external source, will the body continue to make it's own?

My reasoning comes from the fact that body builders use exogenous testosterone and after a while the body ceases to make it's own. I'm not sure if the same principle will apply.

Receptor down-regulation does indeed occur with serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine. The consequences are not as severe as GABA down-regulation from benzos or testosterone but it does happen.

Either way I have noticed a MUCH greater improvement after I have started using CBT and REBT techniques combined with mindfulness and meditation. It seems to me that theres no physical damage done. My blood work came back excellent. So really it's just my thoughts prolonging this negative downward spiral. Once I realized that and saw that the anxious thoughts weren't true I have steadily improved to around 80% of my old mental state. I hope in the months to come I'll return back to 100%.

I'm going to drop all supplements, embrace the lingering issues and see my progress in the coming months.

It is great to hear that you're recovering well. It takes time but it does happen.

As for supplements, if they are working, don't stop taking them. My main concern is not with supplements that the body can choose to use or not to use but with serotonergic drugs that force the brain to change how serotonin is regulated. Its one thing to take l-tryptophan or 5-HTP to try to encourage the body to replenish its serotonin stores, its a completely different matter to take a drug that prevents SERT from doing its normal function of reuptake of serotonin into the synapse.

Vitamins, minerals, and most supplements can actually be beneficial. If they're helping you, by all means continue.
 

Badroll7

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Nov 21, 2013
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People with just psychological comedown issues should consider themselves lucky. Blurt visions, tremors and head pressure are scary enough to make someone want to stay away from anything unnatural. Natural route and time is the safest. A good point was made here. People have gotten worse from ssri but not gotten worse from abstaining from it.
 

zebrafish

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 31, 2013
Messages
89
It seems like the people with comedowns that comprise of mostly anxiety and depression seem to recover well with time. How about those with cognitive symptoms? Has anyone with a long comedown consisting of concentration problems, brain fog, mental fatigue, etc had those symptoms fully recover over the course of months?
 
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Badroll7

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Nov 21, 2013
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Good to hear. I couldn't agree more with everything you said. Keep yourself busy and go the natural route. A great deal of it is stress related. I'm about 6 weeks in now and getting better. Headaches only sometimes and light tremors at times. I am gonna get an MRI just to be safe and then after that I will join LA fitness which I'm sure will make me even better
 

Nambo

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What I have read here is that a PET scan is was you need to determine damage rather than an MRI, but your doctor will know provided you have have given him full disclosure of what caused this!
 

Folley

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I'm not sure what you think and MRI will help Badroll, obviously I won't discourage you from going to the doctor but you may want to put some more thought into it before dropping a few thousand for a test that isn't really going to help you. Even if they find "damage", there isn't much they can do about it... they'll either try to put you on some medication or just tell you the same things we repeat ad nauseum.


That's not to say that it isn't the right course of action for yourself, but I've seen a few other people drop a LOT of money on these kind of tests only to be told that there is nothing to be done.. so you may want to reconsider, at least until it becomes "necessary"
 

FluxRider

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 6, 2012
Messages
33
Justsomeone I completely agree with you. For a long time I have been wondering why only me and one other friend got severe comedown effects, while several other friends have used the same molly several time without any ill affects. What separated me and my friend was that we were both severely stressed at the time we rolled. He was extremely stressed from engineering school and I was already going through a lot of mental stress combined with physical stress from wrestling.


But now like you said as I've accepted everything and realized that only time will help the recovery has improved in leaps and bounds. I think the best thing you can do for yourself is learn to control your thoughts. Read stoic philosophy, meditate, practice mindfulness, use Albert Ellis's REBT for anxiety.
 

Badroll7

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It's already done unfortunately jus waiting on results. I'll keep you all posted
 

TheMedic

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Dec 2, 2013
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A couple of years ago when I was back in highschool I involuntarily abused mdma due to my lack of knowledge about it's proper usage and restrictions.

I'd consume perhaps 200-300 mg of mdma in the course of the night every 2 weeks with NO tolerance at once. The consequences of this were the following :

* Brain fog : Having the difficulty to access ones own thoughts. Like if I had to think through a cloud in order to access my own mind.

* Depersonalization: Felt like I was out of the physical world and lost in my own mind. As if I saw emptiness in my mind more than the physical world.

* Cognitive slowdown : I would mumble a lot , had a HARD time having fluent speech. I had a hard time remembering how to spell words I use to know how to spell. Learning became more difficult. ( I was a 90 % + student
so my grades dropped slightly to like 80-85 % ) Everything became so much harder to retain.

* Short term memory impairment: I would have an insanely hard time remembering things. I'd forget what I was doing/going to do.

* Anxiety : I had 2 panic attacks and constant anxiety. Felt miserable and had a hard time integrating myself with people due to my anxiety. I was never a shy individual I am very outspoken so the anxiety retracted me.

* Loss of self identity : I felt like I didn't know what my REAL personality was. I didn't understand why I've used substances and felt like I messed myself up

* many others


Out of all of this I FULLY recovered 2-3 months after stopping my usage. My mind is back to normal and even better than before. I feel like an enhanced and improved version of myself. To anyone suffering from this you MUST give it time and cease using any substances ( Including MJ). You WILL get better it's only a question of time.

Mdma is a drug that you MUST respect because if you dont at one point in time it WILL catch up to you and you will suffer from some sort of side effects. I use it maybe 1-2 times a year with reasonable doses to avoid negative effects.

If there is ONE THING you must retain is to STAY POSITIVE AND HAVE A GOOD MINDSET YOU WILL RECOVER <3
 

herenow14

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 2, 2013
Messages
35
Stoked to see another recovery success story on here! Thanks for posting medic. Ur symptoms literally sound identical to mine. I'm at month six and am just beginning to feel some signs of recovery. Hopefully I'll be back soon to post my own story
 

shishibeach

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 29, 2013
Messages
10
Yeah,
I'm not in as critical of a place regarding career, Zebrafish, but the fear of losing cognition scares the fuck out of me.

It Inflames the panic, and depression, every time I fuck up my speech.
Which turns me inward only to become more depressed.

I had a thought for you.
You have worked extremely hard, and the fear of losing the rewards scares the shit out of you.

It can't be that at every turn you did well, preparing yourself for your future, without challenge.

You have simply warranted a bit more challenge for yourself.

Not every course you took went swimmingly (or if it did, fuck, then yes, you are genius). It would have been easier acing those exams without not one, but two, kids. Etc, etc- there were challenges.

Well, now you have a shit ton more work ahead of you to connect with doing what you've always wanted to do.

Sucks, I know. I'm there too. After one big dose (just one, I've only ever rolled twice before, in sensible amounts, three years ago!) some weed, a handful of whippets, and one lousy fucking hard cider (I don't even like that garbage, fuuuuuuck!!!!) my world is upside down and relief envisages death.

It'll come man. You might even be right, and you've blown it.

But, it sounds like this is the only thing you've ever blown.

So, count yourself fortunate, you are one insane, seemingly impossible, challenge away from your dreams.

Figure out how the fuck to get it, man!
 

pmz

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2013
Messages
548
I just gotta say this to everyone freaking out right........ you will be good. You will be back to your old self. I had this huge fear at one point as well. I've gotten to a point where it no longer takes months to notice a difference. But in fact its now every new day I feel better and better. I'm back to my old self. My head is still a little foggy. But I'm happy as fuck. And have a lot of fun. Just like I used to

All you gotta know. Is that it sucks where you are now. But its not permanent. Make that your daily mantra!!!
 

FluxRider

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 6, 2012
Messages
33
glad to see you're doing better I remember reading a lot of your old posts where you were feeling bad.
 

ScaredFirstTimer

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Joined
Dec 15, 2013
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317
Hi guys, first time poster here.

I'm glad I found this thread!

TL;DR:

Dropped 200mg of mdma (redosed) for the first time 3 weeks ago.
Experienced "suicide monday"
Experienced anxiety/dread for 2.5++ weeks
I feel the anxiety has improved greatly, but still suffering badly form memory impairment, brainfog, dizzyness, slight vision probs.

I dropped pure MDMA for the first time (not counting snorting a little bit 8 months ago, not really getting an effect) exactly 3 weeks ago. I'm normally a careful guy, but I ended up redosing, and i think i did about 200mg(250mg at the most) throughout the night. Also drank heavily the day after.

I dropped the MDMA on friday night, and I felt fine until monday evening. Then I got the insane, unimaginable panic/anxiety/dread that many of you have been describing.
I was scared shitless, and called a girlfriend right away, and thankfully she slept at my appartment 3 nights that week.
The panic subsided on the day after(tuesday), about mid day. After that I've been getting cycles of anxiety, lasting a few days, then nothing for a few days.
The last week I've been pretty good anxiety wise. I'm feeling a sense of mild dread/mild anxiety, sometimes evolvling into mild panic lasting for like 10 min. I felt almost recovered from thursday - saturday (yesterday), felt no anxiety at all.
So I feel that the anxiety problem really is subsiding, I'm functional in that sense.

An interesting thing is that I'm not depressed at all. When I don't experience anxiety I'm as happy, interested, motivated as ever.

The main problem I have now is short term memory loss, brain fog, dizziness, slightly fucked up vision (sensitive periferal vision). The brain fog has kind of gotten worse the last two days.

I have a feeling that I will get better in a matter of weeks, as I have improved greatly with respect to anxiety during these 3 weeks, but I'm also scared that I won't.
I'm a math teacher, and the brain fog is impairing me a little bit in my job.

Any thoughts?


Edit: I took 50mg 5-HTP for the first time 3 hours ago. Should I continue? Did it on an empty stomach and I actually feel like I've been getting gradually more dizzy since I took it. I'd gladly suffer that though, if it will help me recover completely.
Edit2: I should also add that I haven't experienced the brain fog permanently. During week 2 I felt close to 100% besides the anxiety.
 
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shishibeach

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 29, 2013
Messages
10
Ummm, I don't want to belittle your experience. . .

You're fine, get off the Internet, get off the 5-HTP.

Sounds way more psychological than physiological (as in, no brain "damage").

Eat right, sleep, stay away from drugs, exercise.

If you want, you can continue your search and find all kinds of nasty information here about how bad it can be.

But, if you've felt 100% in as little as three weeks, take that and run to a therapist for some CBT and stay the hell away from this drug.

If you stick with it long enough, or catch a bad reaction like myself and so many others have, here are some issues that tend to come up. . .

Depression, of the greatest magnitude
Insomnia, depletor of sanity
Digestive complications
Headaches/"brain-zaps"
Language/speech issues
Vision problems
Sexual dysfunction
Bruxism
It goes on and on. . .

So, there are detailed accounts of each of these nearby- hell, I've probably talked myself into most that I exhibit. Don't make that mistake.

Give it three months to be certain,
Smoke a hit of weed (if you simply must get high again)
Make love to your girlfriend
And be grateful!
 
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pmz

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2013
Messages
548
Yea pmz that's awesome to hear. Keep us posted

I'll def keep updating on how its going. I went to a club last night and for the first time since this happened is was really able to get lost in the music. Dance like I used to and be social and playful like I used to. Its all coming back. And I thought I was one of the worst cases than anyone else on this website.

Eat as perfect as you can. Work out and find meditation guided groups in your area. Go to meetup.com. to find that stuff.


Hi guys, first time poster here.

I'm glad I found this thread!

TL;DR:

Dropped 200mg of mdma (redosed) for the first time 3 weeks ago.
Experienced "suicide monday"
Experienced anxiety/dread for 2.5++ weeks
I feel the anxiety has improved greatly, but still suffering badly form memory impairment, brainfog, dizzyness, slight vision probs.

I dropped pure MDMA for the first time (not counting snorting a little bit 8 months ago, not really getting an effect) exactly 3 weeks ago. I'm normally a careful guy, but I ended up redosing, and i think i did about 200mg(250mg at the most) throughout the night. Also drank heavily the day after.

I dropped the MDMA on friday night, and I felt fine until monday evening. Then I got the insane, unimaginable panic/anxiety/dread that many of you have been describing.
I was scared shitless, and called a girlfriend right away, and thankfully she slept at my appartment 3 nights that week.
The panic subsided on the day after(tuesday), about mid day. After that I've been getting cycles of anxiety, lasting a few days, then nothing for a few days.
The last week I've been pretty good anxiety wise. I'm feeling a sense of mild dread/mild anxiety, sometimes evolvling into mild panic lasting for like 10 min. I felt almost recovered from thursday - saturday (yesterday), felt no anxiety at all.
So I feel that the anxiety problem really is subsiding, I'm functional in that sense.

An interesting thing is that I'm not depressed at all. When I don't experience anxiety I'm as happy, interested, motivated as ever.

The main problem I have now is short term memory loss, brain fog, dizziness, slightly fucked up vision (sensitive periferal vision). The brain fog has kind of gotten worse the last two days.

I have a feeling that I will get better in a matter of weeks, as I have improved greatly with respect to anxiety during these 3 weeks, but I'm also scared that I won't.
I'm a math teacher, and the brain fog is impairing me a little bit in my job.

Any thoughts?


Edit: I took 50mg 5-HTP for the first time 3 hours ago. Should I continue? Did it on an empty stomach and I actually feel like I've been getting gradually more dizzy since I took it. I'd gladly suffer that though, if it will help me recover completely.
Edit2: I should also add that I haven't experienced the brain fog permanently. During week 2 I felt close to 100% besides the anxiety.

Yeah you will be good. drop the 5-http and up your fish oil. 1000mg epa/ 500mg dha is the happy ratio. Give it a few more week. And reduce stress in any way
 

Dunno

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If I can recover after what I did with MDMA, anyone can.

I started abusing MDxx in 2004. Around that time, all that was going around the Denver area were MDA and caffeine and MDA, caffeine, and methamphetamine pills. In general I rolled every single weekend and I would start rolling around 9 o'clock and eat pills until 4 or 5 in the morning. The most pills that I ever ate in a single night is unknown but on my 20th birthday, I had in my possession a total of 20 pills throughout the night and I gave away two that I know of. I'm fairly sure that I didn't drop any of them but the last count that anyone who was with me at the club that night specifically knew about was 14. These pills were high dose MDA/MDMA combo pills. We are just saying that each pill had 70mg of MDA/MDMA combo but more than likely they were closer to 100mg if not a bit higher. At best, I ate 980mg, at worst... a lot more, around 2 grams. I had my first panic attack that night after taking a single hit of white widow. That was the start of the downwards spiral.

My average pill usage was around 20-30 pills a month, sometimes more when we had MDE pills, less when I didn't have a party to go to (although in that case I usually ended up at a friend's house) and this continued from 2004 through 2007. I slowed down after that (by this time I had full-blown panic disorder and couldn't handle pills anymore - I was so fried that all I could really handle was alcohol so I did that, a lot of it, and I was also prescribed benzos for daily use because of the panic disorder I had developed) and pretty much stopped using it altogether with a few exceptions until 2010. By 2010, I seemed to be turning my life around. I finally had a great job again, I was out of the abusive relationship that I had been in, my anxiety levels were becoming more manageable, my alcohol consumption was lower, and even with all the legal trouble I got myself into in 2009, I was actually pretty happy with my life overall.

Then I came across a source for moon rock Molly. I would get it between 7 and 21 grams at a time. At first I started using it in 100mg bombs, just using two a night but soon that turned into 125mg, then 150mg, then I started going through grams in a night. At the worst, I went through around 7 grams in a 36 hour period with a buddy of mine. We were just eating it non-stop chasing the high. I crashed so hard that I don't even remember the crash. I was completely fried. I didn't think my brain would ever recover. In this time I had also stumbled on large amounts of methylone and the highest quality mephedrone available as well. Long story short, I ended up losing my job, losing my home, losing a lot of friends, I set my panic disorder off all over again, was drinking heavily both to stem off the comedown and to calm down the brain zaps, stopped responding completely to my benzos and had to switch over to Valium because the Klonopin that worked for so long just stopped, and the cycle started over.

Now its near the end of 2013 and I stopped smoking cigarettes and drinking cold turkey on 9/14 as well as starting a taper off my Valium. I haven't done any drugs other than alcohol since late 2011 or early 2012 (mescaline and 2C-T-7 were the only things that I did at the end) and I am now down to 8.75mg of Valium a day (at my worst, I was on 8mg of Xanax a day, then 6mg of Klonopin a day then 60mg of Valium a day), my insomnia is gone, my depression is gone, in fact I don't even seem to be bipolar anymore, I haven't had a panic attack in years (I am plagued by constant anxiety, however, but that could be a consequence of being on benzos for so long), and my brain is finally de-clouding.

I just need to focus on not screwing it up again LOL

People that know me around here can attest to just how far I've gone with drugs... But when I started rolling, I pretty much dropped everything else. I tripped here and there but nothing like I used to. I was tripping at least 5 times a week at one point way before I started rolling. More than any other drug class, the amphetamines absolutely decimated me. The point is that I'm recovering and you can too.

2009?
 

MagickalKat777

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I got in trouble in 2009. Probation started in December of 2009, late 2010 is when I started in with the cathinones (methylone and mephedrone) and excessive amounts of moon rock "molly" - that all came to an end in March 2011 when I moved in with a buddy of mine and he made me flush everything.

Fast forward to now and I'm rapidly tapering off of my Valium (which I've been on since 2010, Klonopin before that, Xanax before that with it all starting in 2004), I have stopped drinking and smoking, my depression has lifted, my sleeping is going back to normal, and things are finally looking up in my life.

Basically I went on a rampage with primarily MDA pills with the occasional MDA/MDMA/MDE combo from 2004 to 2007, MDMA a few times in 2008 and 2009, then dove into massive amounts of cathinones and moon rock Molly from 2010 to 2011.

The things that I had in my toolbox when it went down with my old roommate making me flush it (this was ALL collected 2010 and on) - AMT, DPT, 5-MeO-DALT, 5-MeO-MiPT, MDPV, mephedrone, methylone, 2C-D, 2C-I, 2C-E, 2C-P, 2C-T-7, 4-AcO-DMT, 4-HO-MET, MXE, mushrooms, mescaline, 4-MeMABP, 25C-NBOMe, MDMA, MDA. I managed to save the mescaline and 2C-T-7 when he stepped out of the bathroom to take a phone call and did those a few more times but all of the things in that box, with the exception of MDPV (never touched that stuff), I was taking something at least 4 times a week. Mephedrone was at least 2 out of those 4 times, usually in combination with methylone. The only exception to the rule was when I planned to do MDMA, I stuck to MDMA and mephedrone.

So as I said - if I can recover from my abuse, anyone can. My abuse was severe polydrug and I'm recovering so that should give a lot more than a glimmer of hope to those who abused solely MDXX drugs as my spectrum was all over the board.

I hope that clarifies my post some more.
 
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