MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support)

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ScaredFirstTimer

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Dec 15, 2013
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^

I have made tons of progress. Even now, when I'm back in a rut I am 100% out of the panic phase as you call it. I'm not sure I should mention all the users I thought about, but I can mention Nambo and Derok for instance. Derok has improved greatly, but if I have understood him correctly he is by no means back to normal. AFAIK Nambo has not had any significant recovery since it started for him.

About delayed onsets, there has been a few reports of it. IIRC Zebrafish had a delayed onset of most of his symptoms, of which he is now nearly totally recovered.

Edit: If you for some reason want to delve into the depths of despair by reading the posts of long term sufferers, you can PM me and I'm sure I can add more usernames to that list. This is not a recommended exercise though.
 
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Mamoot

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Sep 24, 2014
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Yeah SFT....I'm not trying to downplay mdma LTC but I think the brain damage scenario is a little extreme. I was wrong to compare neurotoxicity to excitotoxicity, it is not the same thing...I was just trying to shed some light on the fact that we as humans get small degrees of brain damage by our environment and that mdma is not the only thing that will burn a few brain cells....and basically that we shouldn't worry because we will heal and our brains will compensate and/or completely recover with effort and time.

I hate to break it you...diet pop will cause small amounts of brain damage. Aspartame is a bad excitotoxin. I never drink diet soda anymore but I love the way it tastes. Don't chew gum either. How much brain damage does aspartame cause...I have no idea...I just know aspartame is a excitotoxin and excitotoxins are bad for neurons.

I don't believe that it's safe because of some recent FDA approved study. For every study that says its safe you can find another that says it isn't. I don't actually trust the FDA.

And I wish you a speedy recovery. Lets just stay positive...we will heal from the damage...completely....just keep saying that to yourself until you believe it.
 
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Deltronpedro

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Really? So you think if we did research looking for indicators of axonal loss after ingesting a burger king meal every day for a week, compared to MDMA in recreational doses consecutively every day throughout a week, the results would be similar? Breathtaking ignorance such as this is the reason I'm thinking of leaving this board forever. Junk food can be bad for certain people, but it is not unhealthy in itself. It is not neurotoxic. Neither is diet coke. Actually, all recent research done on diet soda and aspartam and other artificial sweeteners show that they are perfectly safe. The same can not be said of MDMA.

Edit: Sorry for sounding harsh towards you man, I genuinely hope you recover asap.

The scary fact is that the VAST majority of people reporting long term problems from MDMA on this forum do not write a recovery post. We can hold hands and speculate that it's because they are 100% recovered and too busy living their lives.
It seems this current "generation" of sufferers are totally ignorant of what has been going on on BL earlier. There have been well over a hundred accounts of this from different users and a very small amount of real recovery stories. When I say recovery stories I'm talking about people who live life absolutely normally. I do not consider people dependent on medication recovered. Actually, I can name more people still suffering after 1,5-2-3 years than people who have recovered.

This will probably be seen as a bunch of negativity. It probably is, but I can't take users and moderators belittling the suffering and sustained damage of people in this thread. I'm over 10 months in, and even though I had a big while of feeling very good lately, I'm now back to a shitload of symptoms again. The reason my visual cortex couldn't process the stripes on my colleagues shirt yesterday is NOT due to childhood trauma (I had the best childhood and adolescence imaginable), shitty diet or inactivity, or eating at Burger King. It is due to one single night of MDMA use.

I'm losing hope of recovery to be frank, and I am gonna do everything in my power to try to start treatment with Tianeptine.
Is your setback reason enough to erase other sufferers hope?
I dont know. I dont want to offend you, but even if youre right and there are more guys outthere still suffering( I dont believe and we propably dont know) why should everyone here know that. You know how hard it is to come over the first months and the last thing you want to here there is " Well, most of the guys didnt get out of this".
Even so the topic is succes&support.
I stuck in a setback, too, since 3 days, sucks as hell but what shall we do? Keep on fighting while concentrating on the next even better good period. You made a lot of progress, you wrote before and we all know that you will snap out of this in time. Its so hard to stay positive when you feel like loosing all the progress in a few fucking days -.- But thats the deal.
Hope i didnt offend you too much,
keep fighting on.
Best wishes!
 

ScaredFirstTimer

Bluelighter
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317
@Mamoot

Sorry for stating the stuff about aspartam so emphatically. I usually don't believe what is written about research on FB and all over the media anyway. Maybe you are right. People in a LTC are probably much more sentitive to excitotoxicity anyway.

What I am absolutely convinced of though, is that it is impossible for a couple of donuts to cause the EXTREME damage throughout the cortex of the human brain in the way that happened to me and others here from MDMA use. Derok as I mentioned in my last post is still chewing his face off from bruxism years after his last dose of MDMA. I can't bother with lining up all my symptoms, but they are very real, and they are in my understanding absolutely indicative of real brain damage. I'm not saying it can't heal, I genuinely believe it's possible to heal from this. We have seen a handful of recovery stories of people heaving healed from pretty intense LTC's.

Edit:
Is your setback reason enough to erase other sufferers hope?
I believe that hope isn't predicated on ignorance man. It's possible to acknowledge what has happened to us and still have hope. Brain damage can heal.

Edit 2:

I don't get offended by stuff like that man :). The only thing that has ever offended me on bluelight is the belittling of this condition by ignorant users and moderators.
 
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imabicycle

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Jun 4, 2014
Messages
88
well I read up on all those guys and the defects that seem to stay the most are the cognitive issues and dp/dr. Anxiety to leave most people. I guess thats a good thing for me.
 

Deltronpedro

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203
well I read up on all those guys and the defects that seem to stay the most are the cognitive issues and dp/dr. Anxiety to leave most people. I guess thats a good thing for me.
An LTC without anxiety would be heaven on earth :3
And maybe no LTC without anxiety?
 

imabicycle

Bluelighter
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in some people it manifests as severe depression or cognitive detoriation. However in me it just manifests as extreme physical and mental anxiety. The same is the case for you probably. This usually leaves after some time I am told so don't worry too much (which is impossible with anxiety, I know).
 

Deltronpedro

Bluelighter
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Messages
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For me, there is no depression without anxiety i noticed, the last week, when i had a good time.
Other symptoms are still there(DP/DR, tinitus some times, insomnia...) but its good to handle without anxiety destroying your future plans and making you sooo down.
When it kicks in Im affraid of living on like that(everything belongs to studying and planing my future), when it isnt there i think to myself: Well, could be worse. I can handle that.
 
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