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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support)

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jusjenn21

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 23, 2014
Messages
43
Location
tx
I'm not bashing prescribed medication but is anyone out there besides myself going through this LTC all natural.? I see a lot of drug names out there. I'm taking supplments tho.(fish oil) etc. anyway I see people saying omg I'm feeling a lot better and it makes me feel more positive but I then find their taking some kind of meds. I read one or two success stories all natural but there a little older stories. so anyone ?
 

me2point0

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 23, 2014
Messages
216
Holy shit PMZ, there's a FUCKTON of people just like us. some worse some probably over-describbe what they have. They seem so depressed and demoralized by whats going to happen. I remember at the start of this LTC i had short term memory problems, but now it's pretty much all gone. I remember what I ate, said, did, red. I mean these people seem in a complete desperation.
 

lovelife1

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 8, 2014
Messages
23
I'm not bashing prescribed medication but is anyone out there besides myself going through this LTC all natural.? I see a lot of drug names out there. I'm taking supplments tho.(fish oil) etc. anyway I see people saying omg I'm feeling a lot better and it makes me feel more positive but I then find their taking some kind of meds. I read one or two success stories all natural but there a little older stories. so anyone ?
hi there. Yes I recovered all natural. No medicine (no therapy either) just healthy lifestyle, good diet and A LOT of exercise and joga. I fully recovered after 5 months. It was hard as hell but I didnt want to go down the med route as I believe if you take good care of your body it will eventually pay you back. Persistence. Good luck to you and to all the others. Everybody recovers at some point its a fact, if you just stay away from drugs. Be strong, life will be beautiful and good again.
 

imabicycle

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 4, 2014
Messages
88
Im all natural though i started cbt last week am at seven months without improvements though we'll see. Dont want ad s in my head.
 

Xcharlizard

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 22, 2014
Messages
4
I just got back from ibiza on thursday and i feel like im dying i dont see the light at the end of the tunnel and i am terrified, i took far too much and i have never felt so sick or dizzy i cant work or anything and im scared ill get sacked i cant walk or look at things without almost falling over. i dont know what to do anymore
 

BlueBull

Moderator: M&ED
Staff member
Joined
Nov 3, 2012
Messages
2,921
I just got back from ibiza on thursday and i feel like im dying i dont see the light at the end of the tunnel and i am terrified, i took far too much and i have never felt so sick or dizzy i cant work or anything and im scared ill get sacked i cant walk or look at things without almost falling over. i dont know what to do anymore
Welcome to bluelight! It's very simple: abstain from any and all drugs, eat healthy and exercise intensely. It's been just a short while since you went overboard with MDMA, it takes a while longer to clear up but it WILL clear up. It's just your body telling you that you took too much, but it's not permanent, it never is. I know it can seem like you're in a deep dark hole with no way out because of the depression following MDMA abuse and because these symptoms are new to you. But that doesn't mean it's really like that. Just wait a few days/weeks and don't obsess about what might be wrong with you. It's a completely normal reaction of your body after abuse and it will start to clear up soon

*edit* Also familiarize yourself with the 'rules' and best practices of MDMA use. This thread is a good place to start. Informing yourself will prevent it from happening again. Take care!
 
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me2point0

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 23, 2014
Messages
216
Don't do anything you will regret. You are in your first week, it really feels like hell but hey, we're like 100 people right here, right now, somewhere close to you on earth, just like you. Literally. Take a hot shower and sit in it for couple minutes or something, put your mind somewhere else. The bad thoughts and anxiety are making what you have 30x more. Once you calm down you will see the beast turn into an ant. You are asking what to do? Nothing, let go. Please trust me on this one, i'm nobody for you but know you will be ok
 

me2point0

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 23, 2014
Messages
216
My god. Row thanks for telling me not to overthink it. It went away man.

I had the feeling of my nerves shooting influx into my arms and abdomen 24/7. Like if I could feel the electrical signal being passed. Twitches and shit. The thought of havimg this forever was giving me INCREDIBLE nausea. Almost felt like puking it scared me so much. I was so anxious, my arms were dry as paper and because of that I had a sub-dermal feeling of having spider webs under my fucking skin. I ended going to sleep at 6 am that night.

it's gone, and i'm back on my 90%, slowly ending the marathon. I was so scared man.
 

ro4eva

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 8, 2004
Messages
3,886
Location
'Mutts' can unite tribes :-)
With respect to what Dresden said about MDMA use not causing LTCs (or similar issues) back in the 90s, I'll say this:

- Back in the 90s, the internet was in its infancy with respect to usage by ordinary civilians for recreational purposes.
- Back in the 90s, there was a much lower incidence of ecstasy pills, 'molly' capsules, and MDMA powder/shards turning out to be something entirely different, such as Methylone, and whatever RCs are being sold as the real deal to unsuspecting customers.
- Back in the 90s, precursor chemicals and other ingredients which are used to synthesize MDMA were not nearly as tightly controlled as they are now. And this has forced chemists who clandestinely manufacture MDMA to resort to alternative methods and ingredients which may carry a higher risk of toxicity if not properly 'separated' from the finished product.
- Back in the 90s, the rave scene was different in the sense that it wasn't known to the public as well as it is now. And to the people that were ravers back then - it was a closer community with respect to friendship, looking out for one another, and helping to minimize the risks associated with MDMA use in the ravers which did use MDMA. And as its popularity has grown, so too has the number of ravers, and with it the percentage which use MDMA. In other words, there's a lot more people using MDMA nowadays, or at least that's what they think they're getting.

The unfortunate truth is that ecstasy pills, capsules, powder, and shards/crystals around the world have gone down significantly in terms of purity, and way up in relation to dangerous adulterants intended to mimic the effects of MDMA, or to rip us off entirely such as (but not limited to):

- Commonly consumed stimulants such as Caffeine, Ephedrine, and Pseudoephedrine
- Amphetamines such as PMA, PMMA, and Methamphetamine
- Piperazines such as mCPP, BZP, TFMPP
- Substituted Cathinones including (but not limited to) Methylone, Mephedrone, and Methedrone.
- The derivative of 2C-I: 25I-NBOMe (dubbed "synthetic LSD" by the media)
- Various other Research Chemicals, the short and long term adverse effects of which we know little about

I currently reside in Ontario, Canada, and therefore do not know how bad the situation is outside of Canada and the U.S. (dual citizenship, have residence in both countries).

In North America however, the situation is very bad in my opinion, especially when compared to as little as 10 years ago.

My point in telling you all this is (assuming you've read my post) to warn you of the possible risks with respect to buying ecstasy pills from a dealer, and then to simply consume them without any testing whatsoever.

I swear, I am not affiliated with any companies, but I encourage all of you who still consume ecstasy (or wish to in the near future) to buy a full reagent testing kit, and to make sure that you test your product before you use it - please. It may save your life, you never know nowadays.

I'm sorry if this is disturbing or scary news, but it's the unfortunate reality we find ourselves in. And your health comes first (or at least it should).

For everyone who is suffering from a so-called LTC, there is a way out of this, I promise you. However, as everyone is different, your path to recovery may or may not depend on the use of prescription medication. Whatever the case may be, know this: There are people here who have recovered fully with and without the use of prescription meds.

It took me a little over 19 months to recover with the use of a few Rx meds, a healthy diet, an active lifestyle, and a stress free environment. This was after I swallowed/snorted/stuck up my ass well over 1000 ecstasy pills (rarely tested) over the course of about 5 years. And during that time, I also used just about everything else as well (meaning that I fried a lot of brain cells).

So trust me when I say that it's possible for you to recover as well.

I hope you all have a wonderful day, and please stay safe :)

Edit:

Again, I cannot stress this enough, recovery from a LTC is possible. I am proof of this, and so are others on here.

Don't give up - we're here to help you in any way we can. And I for one will never judge you, think less of you, nor will I ever not accept you as you are.

And I don't consider myself as better than any of you in any way - I'm not. I'm just some random Bluelighter who wants to reassure you that you are not alone, that we know how you feel, and that we're here for you.

Doctors may think you're malingering, family members may tell you to "walk it off," and your work/college/university/etc. may expect unrealistic goals from you at a time when you are suffering from chronic and debilitating symptoms.

For what it's worth, I think I speak for everyone here when I say that I know you are not malingering; I know you can't just "walk it off;" and I know you're suffering and in distress. And if it'll help you in some way, know you are not alone in this, and that many of us have been where you are now.

With time, with avoidance of more recreational drugs, with a healthy/active/stress-free lifestyle, and with the proper medical treatment for you (may involve Rx drugs or may not), it will get better, I promise.
 
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jusjenn21

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 23, 2014
Messages
43
Location
tx
hi there. Yes I recovered all natural. No medicine (no therapy either) just healthy lifestyle, good diet and A LOT of exercise and joga. I fully recovered after 5 months. It was hard as hell but I didnt want to go down the med route as I believe if you take good care of your body it will eventually pay you back. Persistence. Good luck to you and to all the others. Everybody recovers at some point its a fact, if you just stay away from drugs. Be strong, life will be beautiful and good again.
Thank you lovelife1 & imabicycle!! Gave me a reassurance & peace of mind that I will and everyone will eventually get better!!! 3 months in! I need to work on that exercise part. slacking it due to constant chest pains :(...... Takes strong ppl to go what we are going through! Positive vibes to all.
 

jusjenn21

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 23, 2014
Messages
43
Location
tx
I'm sorry if this is disturbing or scary news, but it's the unfortunate reality we find ourselves in. And your health comes first (or at least it should).

For everyone who is suffering from a so-called LTC, there is a way out of this, I promise you. However, as everyone is different, your path to recovery may or may not depend on the use of prescription medication. Whatever the case may be, know this: There are people here who have recovered fully with and without the use of prescription meds.

It took me a little over 19 months to recover with the use of a few Rx meds, a healthy diet, an active lifestyle, and a stress free environment. This was after I swallowed/snorted/stuck up my ass well over 1000 ecstasy pills (rarely tested) over the course of about 5 years. And during that time, I also used just about everything else as well (meaning that I fried a lot of brain cells).

So trust me when I say that it's possible for you to recover as well.

I hope you all have a wonderful day, and please stay safe :)

Edit:

Again, I cannot stress this enough, recovery from a LTC is possible. I am proof of this, and so are others on here.

Don't give up - we're here to help you in any way we can. And I for one will never judge you, think less of you, nor will I ever not accept you as you are.

And I don't consider myself as better than any of you in any way - I'm not. I'm just some random Bluelighter who wants to reassure you that you are not alone, that we know how you feel, and that we're here for you.

Doctors may think you're malingering, family members may tell you to "walk it off," and your work may expect unrealistic goals from you at a time when you are suffering from chronic and debilitating symptoms.

For what it's worth, I think I speak for everyone here when I say that I know you are not malingering; I know you can't just "walk it off;" and I know you're suffering and in distress. And if it'll help you in some way, know you are not alone in this, and that many of us have been where you are now.

With time, with avoidance of more recreational drugs, with a healthy/active/stress-free lifestyle, and with the proper medical treatment for you (may involve Rx drugs or may not), it will get better, I promise.
Thank you for your words. its really reassuring.
 

pmz

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2013
Messages
548
Holy shit PMZ, there's a FUCKTON of people just like us. some worse some probably over-describbe what they have. They seem so depressed and demoralized by whats going to happen. I remember at the start of this LTC i had short term memory problems, but now it's pretty much all gone. I remember what I ate, said, did, red. I mean these people seem in a complete desperation.
Ugh. I know man. It's an up and down battle. But in the end I do have faith. It honestly about learning how to just live again. My head is working I can mindfully concentrate in tasks at work and not get clouded my spaciness when trying to problem solve. I'm way more emotionally stable. Though I still have my bad days. All we can do is be an example for others to show there is hope. Maybe we can coke up with a way to find more people like this. How can we almost advertise more. There has to be hundreds around the country and world that have no idea this site even exist.

I think all the time how many suicides there must be as a result of this, for those who have no connection with similar people and have no hope for improvements. Gotta be a way to reach out more.
 

pmz

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2013
Messages
548
Like shit. I even have my old charisma back and humor. I though that was gone forever. I'm able to play around and have fun with my life again.
 

pmz

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2013
Messages
548
To be totally honest. I personally this was all a gift!

A gift from the universe that a change in our lives were needed.

Embrace that possibility and respond as if that's a fact. Grow yourself through this. This is an opportunity to be reborn. Now that you have been stripped of everything you once were, you now have the opportunity to create yourself how ever you want.
 

Deltronpedro

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 14, 2014
Messages
203
To be totally honest. I personally this was all a gift!

A gift from the universe that a change in our lives were needed.

Embrace that possibility and respond as if that's a fact. Grow yourself through this. This is an opportunity to be reborn. Now that you have been stripped of everything you once were, you now have the opportunity to create yourself how ever you want.
Beautiful, man!
 

pmz

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2013
Messages
548
Beautiful, man!
Thank you. live like this and things will get better. Im trying to make this mentality a more consistent thing. Though its always on my mind. Im trying to figure out how to use it to motivate me, rather than slow me down. It take a while to get there though.
 

Deltronpedro

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 14, 2014
Messages
203
I came across the same thought allready.
I do so much sports since 4 weeks and i see my body forming, also i go partying without drinking and have fun doing it! Dunno when i had fun go partying without alcohol the last time!
There are positive things coming with an ltc, you just have to find em and adjust them in the right direction. If i get out of this in exactly this mindframe, i will have balls of steel :3
 

MasterMinded

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 6, 2014
Messages
15
Hello all,
Most of you don't have a clue who I am so ill give a brief introduction.
My name is Robin and im currently 20 years old. Before experimenting with hard drugs (xtc and cocaine) I never experienced any mental issues. Prior to my ltc I was a pretty heavy drinker (not daily, but usually large amounts in the weekends), mental breakdown/ltc started after heavy alcohol and some cocaine use on new years eve, only a few weeks before this I took xtc for the first time (had no comedown from this use and it was an amazing experience).

Over the past 8 months I've been actively reading this thread and rarely posted anything. Today however I felt the need to share where I am at now in terms of recovery. I have suffered from: panic attacks, severe depression, severe anxiety (mainly health anxiety as most of us, but also from pure-ocd anxiety). Symptoms that came along with this were: muscle spasms, severe twitches, tremors, pins and needles, burning skin sensations, dp/dr (had this for like 2 months, was awful), waking up early in the morning around the same time no matter how late or how early I went to bed (usually waking up severely depressed), obsessive and intrusive thoughts (mostly about self-harm, never ever harmed myself though and never will), hyperventilation (even chronic for a while) and feeling my heart pulse literally everywhere. During my ltc I've consumed a very low dose of xtc on one occasion and this resulted in severe worsening of the symptoms. During my ltc I've used an ad called mirtazapine for 2 weeks after which I decided to stop taking it and fully commit myself to the non-med route (I did use lorazepam now and then when my anxiety was really bad, but never abused it). I also recently started with cbt which I can really recommend to anyone suffering from negative thoughts.

Right now I consider myself 80-90% recovered, my physical symptoms have all vanished, I'm able to focus on school tasks again, able to drink again and deal with the comedown and basically able to enjoy life again (not to the fullest yet, but im getting there). The reason I'm saying 80-90% and not 100% is because I'm still suffering from obsessive disturbing thoughts and some anxiety/depression that comes with this, however this is very minimal compared to what it was. This whole experience has left a huge mental scar and I think it did traumatize me, but I also got a lot stronger mentally during the process and I'm more grateful for my life then ever before. Also I'm a lot more careful and I don't take being mentally stable for granted anymore.

Also I want to give a big shout out to all the fanatic posters on this thread (you know who you are), I cannot put in words how thankful I am. The relieve and comfort you people have provided me with during this process is just amazing. You guys kept me motivated at times that were extremely dark and even up to this day I still feel extremely connected to all of you. I am still not there yet, but I will be one day in the near future and so will all of you. God bless all of you!
 

HiManImDan

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2014
Messages
88
4 week after and still depressed/mood swings

Hey

4 weeks ago I took 250-280mg(somewhere between there) of MDMA followed by a line of 125mg of MDMA.
3 weeks before that roll, I had 200mg of MDMA followed by 125mg and 3 weeks before that I rolled every 3 days for 2 weeks (stupid, I know).
Normally, my comedown would be depression a few days after and then it would go down to mood swings to then back to normal.

But after this last roll (which was 4 weeks ago),
I've been feeling:
-Some points severely depressed (not motivated for anything and nothing matters, though this would only last for a few minute)
-Insecure (over thinking things and just thinking every hates me and that I look like a faggot)
Random happiness (everything can be fixed and that everything will work out, almost like an afterglow, would only last a few minutes as well)

Also just wanted to add that when I smoke weed, I feel depessed and have a lot of anxiety. Normally along the lines of "wtf am I doing with my life, all I do is smoke pot" or "I'm going to fail" and just feel really insecure.

Just wanted to know if I've done any permanent damage and if this is normal with such abuse?
 
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