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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support)

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derok

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 25, 2012
Messages
177
PMZ i just LOVE that song , thanks for keep again that melody in my mind (and that attitude :D), its going to be one of the songs that make me think about my mind state and my future this blurry months...electronic music can be philosophycal in some way!
 

pmz

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2013
Messages
548
PMZ i just LOVE that song , thanks for keep again that melody in my mind (and that attitude :D), its going to be one of the songs that make me think about my mind state and my future this blurry months...electronic music can be philosophycal in some way!

I cant agree with you any more man.

Glade I can bring on a good vib
 

ggarza921

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 26, 2013
Messages
105
Location
TX
Hey Harry. Ends up Folley was right. I got the results from the EEG and my neurologist said everything looked completely normal. Nothing out of ordinary.

So basically I'm just gonna ride this out until everything disappears. Really nothing else to do. My head pressure is lessening lately. It's actually bearable and isn't as bothersome as it used to be. We just need to watch our stress levels, sleep, and nutrition. Take care man
 

imatowel

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 20, 2013
Messages
19
herenow, can I ask you, did you cross a border, pushing your body across the limit or was it a quiet ride.
 

Zrock

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 8, 2013
Messages
3
Hello herenow14 I read your forum posts and kind of feel I have a similar problem this is my story that I posted on blue light here it is:

First time I used MDMA will I be alright?
So how do i explain this. my first time ever using mdma i consumed two caps (capsules-100 MG per cap) the first one was mixed with my water and i did not really feel it hitting me so then i bought another one around 30-45 minutes later after taking the second one i jumped around for a bit (I was at a music festival) so after dancing for a bit i moved to another section and listened to another DJ and that is when it started kicking in i felt extremely happy and energetic just dancing flaring my arms and etc i felt fine and then my friends wanted to take a break we sat for about a good 45 min too an hour and thats when i stopped feeling good my stomach started to hurt and the minute we walked in to the crowd to listen to the next show i told my friend that i had to puke. He stood out with me the rest of the night and told me to drink plenty of water which i was already doing from the start i must have refilled my bottle about 50 times but only had to go pee 2 or 3 times at the festival he told me to eat something i tried but my stomach felt bloated i tried eating a slice of pizza but most of it did not even want to go down my throat so i just gave it to my friend. a while later as we are sitting i say let me go pee again i get up and as i am walking i feel the throw up getting to my chin and then bam i puke alot all over the floor then once more same consistency alot of it some of it even came out of my nose then the 3rd time it just fely like my stomach cringed an i puked a little bit probably some stomach acid but this all happened right after each other my friend looked at me got scared and said are you ok and i said yea if anything i feel quite better i went to the bathroom peed then got a slice of pizza which i ate and enjoyed it actually wanted to go down my throat. after i ate my slice we left and as i was walking i did not feel bloated but my chest hurt a bit like minor chest pains. i came home and still felt them my head also felt kind of weird in a way a headache but lightheaded maybe with some spins and i felt the head feeling even more as i got in and out of bed to constantly pee my heart was aching which was chest pains so i didnt want to go to bed because i thought i would get a heart attack i woke up the next morning with the same feeling went to the hospital they said i was perfectly fine my heart was normal along with blood pressure temperature and vital signs they did not check me for mdma so i was happy to hear thath but it is 6 days later and i still feel this weird headache feeling kind of as if i am light headed but not really and its really scaring me i am afraid i have nerve damage or something even when i type on my phone it feels as if my focus is impaired because i make alot of misspellings anyway i took 2 caps along with a friend who also took 2 but i am only 15 and weigh 128 pounds he is 18 and weighs 150 he felt fine but my head constantly feels like this even six days later does anyone have any idea or experience could i have done permanent damage? It was my first time and with this experience i really have no desire to ever take it again is this just how a molly hangover is or something much more?

KEEP IN MIND my 18 year old friend felt fine the day of and the day after and ingested the same amount

So I wrote this about 6 days after now it's been about a month and a couple of days and I still have this lingering head pressure in the back of my head almost as if there's someone tugging on these two muscles in the back of my head or areas all I know is that there is pressure in the back of my head and sometimes top.I got very tired and very depressed everyone keeps saying I'm just anxious but I'm not I can socialize and I feel fine just besides this issue. The only time I feel good is when I sleep then when I get out of bed the pressure kicks in and I suddenly feel disoriented and dizzy, that goes away but the pressure stays and as I am in school I feel the pressure even worse sometimes along with the pressure I feel very tired my eyes feel tired and droopy I feel spaced out, like an out if it feeling like winded almost. Along with the out of it feeling my vision gets fuzzy which is probably why I feel out of it but then certain parts if the day I don't even feel the pressure for a good 5 minutes and feel very lively. Even a month later this is all happening along with these wired pinching feelings in my chest certain times like stings almost pains when I breath in deeply and other times when I crack my back and randomly. That basically sums everything up to this point I'm only 15 I feel really depressed and keep thinking If this never goes away ill kill myself it was my 1st time on mdma crystal and I took 2 like an idiot I regret it and I really want to hear what you have to say and if it relates too you let me know if u had the strange chest pains and felt the pressure the way I did with the eye drooping and things like that thanks.
Also herenow14 I tried sending this as a pm but u have no space if u can clear it and pm with me if really appreciate it thanks man and if anyone else has any advice I'm all ears
 

jethro1000

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 13, 2013
Messages
47
Hello herenow14 I read your forum posts and kind of feel I have a similar problem this is my story that I posted on blue light here it is:

First time I used MDMA will I be alright?
So how do i explain this. my first time ever using mdma i consumed two caps (capsules-100 MG per cap) the first one was mixed with my water and i did not really feel it hitting me so then i bought another one around 30-45 minutes later after taking the second one i jumped around for a bit (I was at a music festival) so after dancing for a bit i moved to another section and listened to another DJ and that is when it started kicking in i felt extremely happy and energetic just dancing flaring my arms and etc i felt fine and then my friends wanted to take a break we sat for about a good 45 min too an hour and thats when i stopped feeling good my stomach started to hurt and the minute we walked in to the crowd to listen to the next show i told my friend that i had to puke. He stood out with me the rest of the night and told me to drink plenty of water which i was already doing from the start i must have refilled my bottle about 50 times but only had to go pee 2 or 3 times at the festival he told me to eat something i tried but my stomach felt bloated i tried eating a slice of pizza but most of it did not even want to go down my throat so i just gave it to my friend. a while later as we are sitting i say let me go pee again i get up and as i am walking i feel the throw up getting to my chin and then bam i puke alot all over the floor then once more same consistency alot of it some of it even came out of my nose then the 3rd time it just fely like my stomach cringed an i puked a little bit probably some stomach acid but this all happened right after each other my friend looked at me got scared and said are you ok and i said yea if anything i feel quite better i went to the bathroom peed then got a slice of pizza which i ate and enjoyed it actually wanted to go down my throat. after i ate my slice we left and as i was walking i did not feel bloated but my chest hurt a bit like minor chest pains. i came home and still felt them my head also felt kind of weird in a way a headache but lightheaded maybe with some spins and i felt the head feeling even more as i got in and out of bed to constantly pee my heart was aching which was chest pains so i didnt want to go to bed because i thought i would get a heart attack i woke up the next morning with the same feeling went to the hospital they said i was perfectly fine my heart was normal along with blood pressure temperature and vital signs they did not check me for mdma so i was happy to hear thath but it is 6 days later and i still feel this weird headache feeling kind of as if i am light headed but not really and its really scaring me i am afraid i have nerve damage or something even when i type on my phone it feels as if my focus is impaired because i make alot of misspellings anyway i took 2 caps along with a friend who also took 2 but i am only 15 and weigh 128 pounds he is 18 and weighs 150 he felt fine but my head constantly feels like this even six days later does anyone have any idea or experience could i have done permanent damage? It was my first time and with this experience i really have no desire to ever take it again is this just how a molly hangover is or something much more?

KEEP IN MIND my 18 year old friend felt fine the day of and the day after and ingested the same amount

So I wrote this about 6 days after now it's been about a month and a couple of days and I still have this lingering head pressure in the back of my head almost as if there's someone tugging on these two muscles in the back of my head or areas all I know is that there is pressure in the back of my head and sometimes top.I got very tired and very depressed everyone keeps saying I'm just anxious but I'm not I can socialize and I feel fine just besides this issue. The only time I feel good is when I sleep then when I get out of bed the pressure kicks in and I suddenly feel disoriented and dizzy, that goes away but the pressure stays and as I am in school I feel the pressure even worse sometimes along with the pressure I feel very tired my eyes feel tired and droopy I feel spaced out, like an out if it feeling like winded almost. Along with the out of it feeling my vision gets fuzzy which is probably why I feel out of it but then certain parts if the day I don't even feel the pressure for a good 5 minutes and feel very lively. Even a month later this is all happening along with these wired pinching feelings in my chest certain times like stings almost pains when I breath in deeply and other times when I crack my back and randomly. That basically sums everything up to this point I'm only 15 I feel really depressed and keep thinking If this never goes away ill kill myself it was my 1st time on mdma crystal and I took 2 like an idiot I regret it and I really want to hear what you have to say and if it relates too you let me know if u had the strange chest pains and felt the pressure the way I did with the eye drooping and things like that thanks.
Also herenow14 I tried sending this as a pm but u have no space if u can clear it and pm with me if really appreciate it thanks man and if anyone else has any advice I'm all ears

Hey everything will get better. All your symptoms are related to anxiety. Give it time. I got better its my month 2 now i feel better. Stop worrying. Just continue life. The pain will eventually fade if you stop giving it attention. Just accept it that your head pressure dizzyness etc will be with you temporarily. The less you worry the faster you recover believe me
 

cranberries

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 24, 2013
Messages
7
I'm so glad I found this.

Took a pill of MDMA (not tested, not sure how many grams <--stupid, I know) on Saturday, followed by a redose a few hours later. Drank relatively heavily that night too. Have been dealing with a shitload of anxiety since the comedown - basically has felt like a low level panic attack all week. Haven't really been able to eat at all either. Last time I took MDMA was last week of August, two pills over two nights, felt foggy for the next two weeks but that was about it. Did some blow about a month back and had two days of feeling uncomfortable. Only did MDMA once before; in May.

Now this; what the fuck is going on? I've been getting some exercise is but it's not helping too much for right now. I'm petrified at the thought that this is going to last longer than a week; it's been five days and I don't feel that much better.
 

BlueBull

Moderator: M&ED
Staff member
Joined
Nov 3, 2012
Messages
3,094
Location
Netherlands
The summer of 2013 I was at a festival and I consumed green androids. These bangers are around 200mg a piece. I fully knew what I was doing but because I've never had any comedown whatsoever before, I did something stupid and consumed 3 days in a row. I was chasing the high the 2nd and 3rd day, even though I KNEW I wasn't going to reach it. I KNEW but I got carried away because I was having such a good time there. First day 200mg (1 pill). 2nd Day 400mg (2 pills) and the last day I was up to 800mg (4 pills). Ofcourse this was waaaaaaaaaaay too much and for the first time in my life I experienced a really bad comedown. I had brainzaps, irregular heart-rhythm, skipping heartbeats and dizziness for about 3 days. Extreme brain fog lasted for about a week. But the depression was the worst. I broke out crying for no apparent reason at all all the time (I am NOT a guy that cries normally, whatever the circumstances), I had a constant feeling of impending doom and everything I thought about was shrouded in a dark mist. Luckily I seem to be someone not very susceptible or someone that recovers fast because I was completely back at 100% after about 2 weeks. So recovery is possible, not even possible but certain. And I am the proof that for some people the healing process doesn't take long. I do know one thing though. I have absolutely no proof of this but I am certain that every time you abuse MDMA this recovery period will increase in duration. I'm sure that if I did those same amounts now, even if I had a break that lasted 6 months, my recovery period would increase... So be careful but be hopeful. You will ALWAYS recover. Except maybe for people that abused MDMA for long long periods of time almost daily. I know such a person and he is institutionalized. Guy went from unstable to completely batshit crazy because of that abuse, and it's permanent with him. But then again he used MDMA daily for about 4 months, that's ludicrous...
 
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FluxRider

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 6, 2012
Messages
33
Please keep this thread going guys...I was feeling pretty shitty but it's giving me such a boost to think positively.
 

Character Zero

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 29, 2010
Messages
28
i used to abuse mdma hardcore. it wasnt unusual for me to go through a ball of molly (and when i say molly, i mean the good shit, giant ambery shards that stank to high heaven) in a night of partying, or a couple grams in a week if i didnt party. That went on for about 5 months or so and i havent eaten any in a couple months. Im much less moody than i used to be during my abuse but i found i lost alot of my artistic ability, which is sad cuz im an artist and have been all my life. its the only thing i was ever good at. Thats very depressing.
 

Macenroe

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 6, 2013
Messages
108
Hi guys! i am on my 3rd month long term comedown experiencing anxiety, derealization and some mild cognitive impairment.

Everyday I experience the same cycle, I wake up anxious, spaced out with some derealization and as the day progresses I end up feeling almost fine close to 100% me at night. In the morning I have social anxiety where is even hard for me to come out of home but then usually after 7pm I feel good again, sharp, quite social and mostly functional.

Then I go to bed, sleep and wake up in the same nightmare again. I want to think that a lot of my symptoms are related to anxiety but i am not shire.


Have any of you guys experienced the same fluctuations and cycles? If yes, have you recovered greatly?

Looking for some help.
 

BlueBull

Moderator: M&ED
Staff member
Joined
Nov 3, 2012
Messages
3,094
Location
Netherlands
Very short term I have, I haven't had any comedowns longer than 2 weeks but I too had those cycles yeah. I started feeling better at night and when I woke up I was back to being anxious and depressed. Only thing that worsened at night was the brain zaps but those only lasted for 2 days... I have to say though I haven't had recovery periods as long as you but then again I only really abused MDMA about 1x each year, always at the same festival =D
 

pmz

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2013
Messages
548
So who else went through a period of just feeling really bored all the time? Like I just Dont feel like I enjoy things as much anymore. Even music or dancing isnt as fun. My anxiety is gone so I'm finally past that period. Now I'm just working on getting my enjoyment back.
Still feel disassociated so maybe that's a big reason

Who else was or is able to relate?
 

AnonymousAbuser

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 16, 2013
Messages
189
So who else went through a period of just feeling really bored all the time?

EXACTLY. When I stopped rolling all the time AND stopped smoking weed I felt like I was going to die of boredom. This was short-lived, though; I'm back to normal. I can now go to the club sober and have a great time like I used to.

Also when I got off of a 2 year vicodin problem I felt this. I wondered how anyone could live without being high.
 
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pmz

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2013
Messages
548
EXACTLY. When I stopped rolling all the time AND stopped smoking weed I felt like I was going to die of boredom. This was short-lived, though; I'm back to normal. I can now go to the club sober and have a great time like I used to.

Also when I got off of a 2 year vicodin problem I felt this. I wondered how anyone could live without being high.
Thanks. Although u didnt experience any type of long term comedown. Its a bit different.
 

Macenroe

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 6, 2013
Messages
108
PMZ, do you feel like your cognitive habilitys came back fine once the anxiety disapeared? I have the feeling that the anxiety is responsable for that decline in cognitive habilitys because when the anxiety goes away at night, I feel 10 times smarter than in the morning.

Are you capable of working again or studying? How bad you were at the beginning? Are you capable of reading again?

How long it took you to be a functional human being again?

Thank you for your time bro!!!


How much have you recovered PMZ? 80%, 90%, 100%?
 

pmz

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2013
Messages
548
PMZ, do you feel like your cognitive habilitys came back fine once the anxiety disapeared? I have the feeling that the anxiety is responsable for that decline in cognitive habilitys because when the anxiety goes away at night, I feel 10 times smarter than in the morning.

Are you capable of working again or studying? How bad you were at the beginning? Are you capable of reading again?

How long it took you to be a functional human being again?

Thank you for your time bro!!!


How much have you recovered PMZ? 80%, 90%, 100%?

Now that my anxiety is gone my head is a lot clearer. But I Dont think the anxiety is the cause of anything. I believe anxiety is the result of realizing ur brain is fucked up in some way. Though I have no anxiety I still experience cognitive flaws. I have no more anxiety because I stopped fighting it. But yes my thought process has improved 10 fold lately. Could be why my anxiety is gone. Because I can now finally think again so I Dont have to freak out anymore

Yes I've taken a job as a chefs assistant working in a kitchen. I still find my self very forgetful. I Dont feel overwhelmed by details anymore. And memory has gotten a lot better. And yeah I can read and all. I was even able to create a spreadsheet the other day for something was able to run some equations through my head for my work (I love math) though it was not as easy as it should have been. I just slowed down and was able to work it out.

In the beginning.... I Dont even like to think about it. Let's say I wish I felt normal in the night. A complete mess. It took me 6 months to feel comfortable. At 7 months now.

I personally believe anxiety is not the cause of everything. If that was the case I would be 100% better now. It just amplifies everything. Take control of your anxiety and you can be functional. But you will still feel handicapped for a while. How much longer. God only knows

I'd say im like 75-80%
 

Macenroe

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 6, 2013
Messages
108
So in other words you can say that you are definetely improving, recovering and getting better right?

Can you describe me with details what were your initial symptoms and what are your symptoms now so I can have a better look at your recovery process?

Thank you mate!
 

pmz

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2013
Messages
548
everyones is different but

It started with insane anxiety - 5 months

then that tapered off to just being overwhelmed alot - about a month

then that went away to just feeling like i couldnt do anything - 2 weeks more

then that went away once I started doing things and proved Im just as capable, and I just need to slow down and take my time to absorb facts correctly - 2 weeks

Social anxiety is significanty reduced, mood is a lot better, reading is a non issue now, math is still slightly slow. I can totally use my technical head again and do repairs at home as needed. I have a cooking job and holding up very well. Memory is alot better. Conversations are pretty natural now. I can enjoy my day and not worry about things and stay present now. It took about 7 months to get to place I am now. Now its just alot of frustration, because I feel still a bit slow, my mood still is low, im not nearly as excitable and I dont feel as charismatic, but I can socialize(i always has a bit of social anxiety though) My dick is working good again.

You kind of start to notice things after the fact. Like today I realized I havent struggled with reading for the last few weeks.

Just gotta be patient man.

Eat right, exersice and socialize and do things you never did before. I cant stress that enough. Go do hot yoga Im not joking. it sets you out of your comfort zone, its makes you active, you sweat alot, and you get to stare at hot girls asses in yoga pants for an hour. Make sure its hot yoga, trust me. Tell me how it went. many studios might have a free week of yoga. do it. dont drive to the studio, walk there too. walking is very important to. toss your car keys and walk everywhere. Just the visual stimulation of the town your in will distract you.
 
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