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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support)

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dpd_mnk92

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 5, 2012
Messages
181
Wow john anon - you are a very lucky fellow indeed! those are some hefty doses. congratulations on making close to a full recovery.

I'm hoping I will be able to contribute to this thread one day (as a success story). I'm 9 months in and symptoms haven't faded yet. My main symptom right now is cognitive deterioration. brain fog would definitely be an understatement.

Question for people who have recovered from some of the really long term experiences (6 months +) - Was your recovery a slow, steady, gradual process or did it come in spurts? I feel like I can sometimes go as long as a month without any noticable improvements, then suddenly feel a little closer to my old, sharp self for a day or two, only to go back to feeling slow again. These momentary glimpses of where I might get back to one day give me a lot of hope.
 

cope

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 1, 2012
Messages
113
Wow john anon - you are a very lucky fellow indeed! those are some hefty doses. congratulations on making close to a full recovery.

I'm hoping I will be able to contribute to this thread one day (as a success story). I'm 9 months in and symptoms haven't faded yet. My main symptom right now is cognitive deterioration. brain fog would definitely be an understatement.

Question for people who have recovered from some of the really long term experiences (6 months +) - Was your recovery a slow, steady, gradual process or did it come in spurts? I feel like I can sometimes go as long as a month without any noticable improvements, then suddenly feel a little closer to my old, sharp self for a day or two, only to go back to feeling slow again. These momentary glimpses of where I might get back to one day give me a lot of hope.


almost overnight
 

angeleyes

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Mar 18, 2013
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3,012
Location
Oh no, where am I?
John-Anon, I really like what you said there about not sourcing horror stories, I can relate so well hahaha.

Just don't go looking for the bad thoughts, just stick to gym, chilling with mates, playing video games. No worries and no bad shit can go wrong there hahaha.



I'll re-write my recovery story tomorrow, its late here and I'll make it a full tale. :)
 

pmz

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2013
Messages
548
Wow john anon - you are a very lucky fellow indeed! those are some hefty doses. congratulations on making close to a full recovery.

I'm hoping I will be able to contribute to this thread one day (as a success story). I'm 9 months in and symptoms haven't faded yet. My main symptom right now is cognitive deterioration. brain fog would definitely be an understatement.

Question for people who have recovered from some of the really long term experiences (6 months +) - Was your recovery a slow, steady, gradual process or did it come in spurts? I feel like I can sometimes go as long as a month without any noticable improvements, then suddenly feel a little closer to my old, sharp self for a day or two, only to go back to feeling slow again. These momentary glimpses of where I might get back to one day give me a lot of hope.

I feel like cope is an exception. For me. It's going really slow.
 

F1n1shed

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 12, 2008
Messages
2,298
Location
Cali
... when i started browsing bluelight, there where no recovery stories, which was very frightening.

luckily that has changed.

all the best to anyone struggling due to mdma (ab)use

recovery is very much possible.

Same man, it really hurts me that back when i was browsing the general rule by everyone was it is totally okay to roll every month. That was basically what every thread said, and when someone said it is better to wait 3 months you'd see a bunch of people saying no every 1 month is okay.

I felt like i was the only one going through issues but i wouldn't really speak up because it didn't seem like i had anyone to relate to. All the threads were mostly about 'getting the magic back' and idiotic stuff like that. I am very glad more and more comedown threads are popping up to give people an idea of what can happen with MD, this serves harm reduction.

-As to OP , those are some massive doses. Consider your self extremely lucky that recovery came that fast, i'm happy you are feeling better. Don't take this for granted and start rolling next month, trust me ill effects can come back over night. Be well
 

pmz

Bluelighter
Joined
May 11, 2013
Messages
548
Same man, it really hurts me that back when i was browsing the general rule by everyone was it is totally okay to roll every month. That was basically what every thread said, and when someone said it is better to wait 3 months you'd see a bunch of people saying no every 1 month is okay.

I felt like i was the only one going through issues but i wouldn't really speak up because it didn't seem like i had anyone to relate to. All the threads were mostly about 'getting the magic back' and idiotic stuff like that. I am very glad more and more comedown threads are popping up to give people an idea of what can happen with MD, this serves harm reduction.

-As to OP , those are some massive doses. Consider your self extremely lucky that recovery came that fast, i'm happy you are feeling better. Don't take this for granted and start rolling next month, trust me ill effects can come back over night. Be well



See I think the problem is not just with the MDxx drugs. maybe its ok to roll every month as alot of people have. But maybe the increase in other drugs on the market as "molly" got more popular that peoples heads started getting messed up due to taking what they thought was MDMA to often.

I wonder in the advice on to ever roll again, im like 3 years lets say, on tested MDMA. what effects there might be. Or even more so, taking any other psycadelics. It pains me to think I can never take mushrooms again for the fear of getting depersonilization again.

I have a hard time imagining a relapse will occur from mushrooms. I mean MDMA and related, depletes and screws with your brain cells. Mushrooms just changes the way the brain works by slowing things down and reducing blood flow to certain areas. Could it cause a relapse? Im curious
 

John-Anon

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
32
Same man, it really hurts me that back when i was browsing the general rule by everyone was it is totally okay to roll every month. That was basically what every thread said, and when someone said it is better to wait 3 months you'd see a bunch of people saying no every 1 month is okay.

I felt like i was the only one going through issues but i wouldn't really speak up because it didn't seem like i had anyone to relate to. All the threads were mostly about 'getting the magic back' and idiotic stuff like that. I am very glad more and more comedown threads are popping up to give people an idea of what can happen with MD, this serves harm reduction.

-As to OP , those are some massive doses. Consider your self extremely lucky that recovery came that fast, i'm happy you are feeling better. Don't take this for granted and start rolling next month, trust me ill effects can come back over night. Be well

I'm not 100% yet, but homing in! And I am now aware of the insane abuse I subjugated myself too, but then I was clueless. Thanks for the well wishes. I will never touch MDMA again, and I've stopped smoking cigarettes and weed too. It has changed my life after the mental breakdown/crazy emotions/emotionless I felt.
 

HarrytheHead

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 14, 2013
Messages
195
Location
East Coast USA
I am at 7 months. I did .250g of dirt Molly. It was my third time ever trying it. It spun into months of anxiety, panic attacks and depression. Now at month 7 I am basically myself personality wise. Maybe I am a little bit more prone to stress, but this whole thing has been a blessing in disguise. I've started on with a therapist and am making real positive changes in my life. I am actually happier and better off than before I even tried the Molly. My only really complaint at month 7 is lingering head pressure near my eyes and jaw. I have read posts of people who's head pressure lasted longer than a year. I can live with it, one day it will be gone :)
 

John-Anon

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
32
At least your over the worst of it, HarrytheHead.

I agree with the blessing in disguise. This experience forces you to revaluate your life and gives you the opportunity to be amazingly grateful for the little things, like our previous health and how it must be for others who go through these problems everyday.
 

F1n1shed

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 12, 2008
Messages
2,298
Location
Cali
I am at 7 months. I did .250g of dirt Molly. It was my third time ever trying it. It spun into months of anxiety, panic attacks and depression. Now at month 7 I am basically myself personality wise. Maybe I am a little bit more prone to stress, but this whole thing has been a blessing in disguise. I've started on with a therapist and am making real positive changes in my life. I am actually happier and better off than before I even tried the Molly. My only really complaint at month 7 is lingering head pressure near my eyes and jaw. I have read posts of people who's head pressure lasted longer than a year. I can live with it, one day it will be gone :)

Jesus, 3 rolls only sorry to hear about all that over 3 rolls. Anything else you were messing with?
 

Folley

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 7, 2011
Messages
12,188
Location
Sitting on a crystal throne in a castle made of LS
I went from pressing a loaded .32 to my head to being almost completely content with life in basically a day. There is hope, recovery comes slow but it WILL come. The brain's ability to change and adapt to it's surroundings is unparalleled.

What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger ;)
 

ShytK

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 6, 2013
Messages
71
Folley, what do you mean by almost completely content? Does that mean you are like 95% recovered?
 

Folley

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Sitting on a crystal throne in a castle made of LS
Probably more like 85%, but yeah basically. I still use though, so that obviously is holding me back a bit. I don't think I'll ever truly reach 100%, but it's not even noticeable anymore. The main thing is my Manic Depression has almost completely disappeared, that was causing me some pretty wild mood swings and crippling depression... obviously life still has it's troubles, but I can deal with them in a healthy way now rather than worrying and making things worse for myself.



The key is to focus on the future, what happened in the past cannot be changed... no point in dwelling on it.
 

ShytK

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 6, 2013
Messages
71
Hmm yes a lot of people are 85% - 95% recovered it seems. I am sure 100% is possible but is a different ball game. Last few days I made a huge stride towards recovery when I really realized what has happened to me. To me it is more like "nervous sensitization" and I think that is what everyone is experiencing as well. I am extremely an easy target of stress, but if I let 0 stress or worry touch me then I am the equivalent of a 100% recovery. I used to think I wasn't stressed, but I was wrong.

However, I am still in "fight of flight response mode", that is why I am not 100% there and I am guessing same with yourself.

The amygdala has suffered trauma and has put the body in fight or flight mode. I think when you are 100% recovered then the body will return to homeostasis and it will be an overnight thing. And I read some users did achieve 100% and they said it was something they experienced literally over night.

What we are doing is coping with stress and currently training the amygdala which I think is what is required in order for the body to one day return to homeostasis.
 

Folley

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 7, 2011
Messages
12,188
Location
Sitting on a crystal throne in a castle made of LS
Homeostasis isn't something you just achieve, it's a slow yet constant process. The majority of the damage is dealt with relatively quick, it's the lingering mental health problems that are often brought out by MDMA that stay with people for long periods of time.. Unfortunately the hardest thing to do is realize when your body is no longer the source of your problems, but your brain instead.



Once you make that step though, life quickly returns to the hum-drum of normal life
 

F1n1shed

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 12, 2008
Messages
2,298
Location
Cali
The thing is, you never know when you are at 100%. Every day is different, some days you are feeling down and bad but that doesn't necessarily mean it is because of recovery.
It is especially hard to know where your at when you are using other drugs as a lot of people in the rave / MDMA scene do.
I think the only way to really know would be to get some really top of the line MRI's done etc, but fuck all that.

As folley said, just try to focus on the future and fix any on coming problems. Let things that happened before stay in the past (can be difficult at times).
 

John-Anon

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
32
I would 100% agree with the mental factor. Consider the massive dose (about 4g) in 4 consecutive days I took, compared to the much smaller, some 0.2, that others took. If I'm at 95%, (and today I woke up feeling great), there really has to be a huge factor for mental positivity and perhaps predisposed anxiety/other physiological factors.

If you don't think you are going to heal, or expect to heal very slowly: That is exactly what is going to happen.

How do you think placebo's work? The power of the mind to heal.

I wish everyone here a speedy recovery to 100% (something I am more then confident will be attained by all, especially after the utter hell I have experience to where I am now) and look forward to reading some more success stories from people popping in to read this thread. We all appreciate them :)
 
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John-Anon

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
32
Bump for more stories of recovery... if anyone cares to chime in with their experience
 
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