MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support)

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HarrytheHead

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I originally posted about my comedown back in February. I just want to check in about my recovery and see if anyone has experienced my type of recovery where there are still lingering head pressure issues?? No, I did not test the Molly I took. I am sure it was dirty.

It has been about 7 months since I took a single dose of molly crystals (about 250mg). It was my third experience with MDMA and the past two times before that went fine. I overheated on this dose, had the first and worst panic attack of my life and almost passed out. It passed and after a good nights rest, I felt perfectly fine. 48 hours later, I had trouble breathing and my heart rate would randomly spike upwards of 160. I know this because I went to the ER 4 times with panic attacks. As the days progressed, life was a constant panic attack and I developed insomnia and agoraphobia. My whole life I slept like a log no problem and all of a sudden, I was waking up in the dark with extreme panic attacks. This lasted a few weeks and I stayed out of work saying I had pneumonia.

When I returned to work, every day crawled by. I had constant anxiety, random panic attacks, hot flashes, cold flashes, deep severe depression, emptiness, I couldn't concentrate at all. It eventually got to the point that I simply walked out the door and claimed to my job that I was sick and could no longer work. With my new found time, I saw a therapist and a psychiatrist. I was prescribed 10mg of Paxil (SSRI). I took this for 3 weeks and started to feel a little better. Then my doc increased my dose to 20mg I know doctors are supposed to gradually increase... but I said.. "Hey I'm feeling a little better, why should I increase my dose?" I was terrified of becoming dependent on this stuff. So after arguing with my doctor for several days, I bought a pill cutter and kept the dose at 10mg. Then with a great deal of courage, I cut the pills down to 5mg and noticed no changes. Then I stopped all together. I still had anxiety and depression. But it was manageable. And I made a deal with myself that unless the symptoms were completely unbearable, I would stay away from SSRIs. I was happy and proud of this accomplishment.

2 months later I made great headway. I saw a therapist weekly to talk through my problems and deal with them. I was feeling intense head pressure and rapid heartbeats almost constantly. But the depression was fading. And the panic attacks were sparse. I decided while being off work, I would take my first SOLO trip to Europe. It was really difficult, and I had a panic attack there my second day... but through my therapy and meditation I was able to overcome my anxiety and had an unforgettable time. I made great memories and friends.

Now its about 7 months since that stupid high dose of MDMA, which was more likely than not dirty. My depression is basically gone, I just still have this head pressure. Like a tight feeling in my forehead, around the eyes and down into my jaw. My heart beat is sometimes quick and sometimes I get anxiety. But I am so much better than before. I am interviewing for jobs. So if I can handle being grilled by an interviewer, I can say I am basically better. I am just waiting for this head pressure to go away. I never had this before the initial incident, ever. Has anyone had the head pressure for a long time and did it go away?

Anyways long story short, I am so happy to be a functioning human again. But what's up with this pressure? I am hoping to hear some stories of others who have been there, done that :\ I wish everyone the best of luck and please contact me if you want to chat or are having trouble. Thank you!
 

ggarza921

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I just talked to a neurologist this morning about my head pressure/headaches post-mdma effects. I have a set appointment for an EEG test. It is supposed to detect any abnormalities in your brain by detecting the electrical pulses during brain activity.

Get an EEG done man to see if anything is wrong
 

HarrytheHead

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Yea but even if they find a problem which I am sure there is... What can they even do about it? Is it more than just a waste of money?
 

herenow14

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I posted this to your other thread but I'll post it here as well so that it reaches you:

Hi Harry,

I took a rather large dose back in May 2011. I had no terrible comedown effects but I did experience the head pressure almost constantly for about 20 months. I definitely know firsthand how miserable it can be. I was pretty uncomfortable/miserable for the first 12 months of head pressure. I became convinced that what I was experiencing wasn't ecstasy related and had something to do with some ulterior illness or perhaps mere stress. At about the one year mark, I was pretty used to the constant tingling/pressure and it became less and less bothersome. By December 2012/January 2013, the symptoms suddenly vanished.

I bought supplements, exercised, went to neurologists, acupuncturists, etc. Nothing did a damn thing nor was there ever any real indication as to why the symptoms suddenly disappeared. The one thing that did give me temporary relief was hot yoga. I can tell you though that from my experience, I did reach 100% recovery.

I can also tell you that if you're situation is anything like mine, then you should never touch E again IMO. I believe that once people like us go through these long term comedowns, we are more susceptible to the adverse side effects.

I say this because two months ago I tried E again in my "cured" state. I took a single cap of molly, somewhere around 90mg. Since then I have experienced heightened side effects and am now in my second long term comedown. This one is much worse. First time I thought I knew misery with the 24/7 head pressure. Now I realize how lucky I was even then as I am now suffering from stuttering speech, constant brain fog, blurry vision, anxiety, and depression. Hopefully these symptoms will wane with time. Trying to stay mindful/hopeful. Definitely not touching molly again. Not worth it. Praying for better times.
 

HarrytheHead

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Hey herenow, thanks for your post. I am sorry to hear you are experiencing this all over again. I haven't taken MDMA again and never will again.

That's crazy. While I am worried to hear that it can take 20 months for head pressure to go away, I am happy to hear that it can completely vanish for a 100% recovery. Very promising. I hope you have a quicker recovery this time and I hope you stay away from it in the future. Some people have bad predispositions to this drug, and I'm one of them!

I actually do practice yoga and meditation now. I will turn it up a notch after hearing what it did for you.
 

Maya

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Oh no herenow i hope you feel better soon. Well I know two blers who survived it twice so hang in there youll be fine
 

Folley

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I just talked to a neurologist this morning about my head pressure/headaches post-mdma effects. I have a set appointment for an EEG test. It is supposed to detect any abnormalities in your brain by detecting the electrical pulses during brain activity.

Get an EEG done man to see if anything is wrong

You're going to end up paying a LOT of money for them to tell you they still don't know anything. Book it. Report back if you do go through with it, just because I'll want to say I told you so :\



You're supposed to have pressure in your head, I have some going on now.. it's anxiety that makes you focus on it and think it's some kind of "brain abnormality"
 

ggarza921

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You're going to end up paying a LOT of money for them to tell you they still don't know anything. Book it. Report back if you do go through with it, just because I'll want to say I told you so :\



You're supposed to have pressure in your head, I have some going on now.. it's anxiety that makes you focus on it and think it's some kind of "brain abnormality"
Wow bro, I can't believe to this day I'm still getting told its anxiety. Worst advice ever. I've given oral presentations in class & have gone out with friends & parties numerous times in the past month. I am pretty sure any surplus of anxiety I had has faded by now.

I focus on it because I FEEL it. If your foot was cut off by a chainsaw, I'm pretty sure your anxiety wouldn't be the main reason you focus on it. It is the pain and discomfort I feel literally everyday that has got me worried. I'm sure they will find something disrupted in the wave patterns, & proper advice and/or medication will be suggested. I guess it could be compared to a migraine headache. My maternal grandmother suffered from epileptic seizures & my cousin suffers from migraines. So I wouldn't doubt it if genetics played a role in my recovery from untested ecstasy.

Don't worry, the EEG won't be that much. At most, it'll be like $200 (because im insured). Which isn't bad, I've blown like $400 before just on partying, so in my opinion, this is a good investment in my health even if nothing comes out wrong. Either way, ill post back here what the results are.
 

Diloadid

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I am not really good at 'support' threads, but I am glad you are feeling better HarryHead.

My suggestion is that the pressure might be completely unrelated to that high dose of MDMA. The MDMA might be the cause, but we can't really know for sure. I suggest finding a good neurologist. I think that might be the first step you should take to easing this pressure.

My other suggestion would be to try and live life with this pressure. Time should eventually ease the pressure. I would take my first suggestion though. Neurologist are very nice people. ;)
 

simbah

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I also would like to know if pressure is similar to brain zaps.. because after heavy uses of MDMA, especially from electric forest or any other music festival, I experienced very strong "brain zaps" which I would feel in my head and my body, it would feel like an electric shock, and I would be afraid that I could start having a seizure anytime soon. I've taken EEGs before, but maybe another one would help...
 

herenow14

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I experienced constant pressure, but never brain zaps. From my own experiences and reading other people's experiences, I believe they are very different. Brain zaps seem to be sudden, unpredictable, and short lived whereas "head pressure" as I came to know it was incessant. If I had to describe it, I'd say it kind of felt like a bunch of bugs were crawling and scratching underneath my scalp. Not a pretty image, but that's how it felt to me. Sometimes it burned, other times it was more of a prickly/pins and needles sensation. But yeah, pretty much constant for 20 months.

I learned to live with it, though. Coping with it didn't make it go away, but I definitely found a way to enjoy life while I was experiencing it. When I look back on those months, I wouldn't even say they were all that bad. I definitely had a lot of anxiety, I visited many doctors, spent a lot of time on bluelight worrying, but it was my last year of college and I have so many amazing memories from that time. When I look back on that time, I can barely remember the head pressure. Just the great times I had with family and friends. To anyone experiencing it, I urge you to realize how transient this experience is! Oh, and don't touch E again once it's gone like I did...
 

ShytK

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herenow, do you still have the head pressures or did they go away?
 

herenow14

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Hey thanks Maya, ya the head pressure went away.

I remember it getting worse about six months in. That was hard for me. It spread to my knees and I had intense restless leg syndrome. I'd have to stand up from my desk at work and pace around for a moment because of the pain in my knees. I'd hold back tears on the bus ride home I was so miserable.

At around fifteen months, I saw the first signs of hope. The pressure began to dissipate slowly. I remember when it finally vanished, I didn't even notice it was gone because I'd grown so used to it/the feeling had begun to wear off.

Stay up.
 

John-Anon

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MDMA Abuse Recovery (Success Stories & Support)

Dear Fellow Blue Lighters,

I am creating this (much needed) thread in an attempt to string together positive encouragement for people who are going through their recovery following their MDMA heavy dose abuse, or binge.

Some of you may remember my post, but to sum up, I was in Ibiza last month for 5 nights and consumed roughly 0.5g MDMA crystals on the first night, 1g the next, 5 pills (3 blue, 1 orange, 1 yellow) +0.5g the next night, and then 2-3 pills on the fourth. All to my self. I was clueless to how MDMA worked or the consequences it may have.

After an indescribable initial comedown of hell that lasted 3 weeks (on week 4 now), that included some sort of mental breakdown, severe depression, anxiety and panic attacks, derealisation/depersonalization and a much slower mental processing function (slower reflexes, slower thinking capabilities, mind fog at its greatest).

I feel I am on 95%+ recovery now, which is miraculous considering the huge dose I have taken and the relatively short time it has been.

From my experience I can recommend the usual:

Exercise + a healthy diet of fruit, vegetables and protein (oily fish is great/essential for the omegas, also supplements).
Vitamins can't be dismissed, Neurozan plus and high doses of vitamin c (If you haven't heard of liposomal vitamin C, I recommend this, even if you are fit as a fiddle).
A positive mentality. Whilst your brain is rewiring, I believe that if you stay positive, your brain will rewire in that frame of mind, opposed to thinking negative and healing slower.
You do not scour for horror stories. Most of those do not take into account other people's complete different biochemistry, mentality and most importantly what other drugs they had taken or have taken which they did not mention or the mental health they may of already been predisposed to or were already suffering. Although luckily the horror stories still have a happy ending, but they took months-a year to recover.

I am nearly fully healed following this crazy, regretful and naïve binge. I have yet to find a post anywhere on the internet of someone taking as much MDMA as I did, and yet full recovery is almost attained.

After the ordeal I have been through, I feel obliged to let people know that it is temporary and they will heal. No matter how bad they feel now, it is just a chemical imbalance and your brain will use it's wonderful healing powers to rewire and amend itself. Time is an incredible healer, and exercise/diet/mentality with this will speed things up tenfold.

For all who have experienced and perhaps already posted their positive recovery experience of an MDMA binge/abuse, please find time to share your words of wisdom and hope to other's who are going through the hell we endured and to put at ease their paranoia that they will feel like this permanently (that's what made things so much worse for me, and induced numerous panic attacks and a plethora of negative emotions).

If we can compile enough recovery stories in one thread, it will save people from scouring all over the internet freaking themselves out. And please, if you don't have something helpful to say, don't say anything at all. Nothing worse then trolls looking to scare people into a slower recovery.

So, how much did you take, how bad was your comedown and how long did it take you to heal?
 
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pmz

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May 11, 2013
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wow, only 4 weeks. Shit, Im on month 6 and would say im like at 80%.

I took like 1gram and some K. (might be while its taking so long for me)
It was hellish untill about a month ago. I wanna say I got like 2 months left.

Im just looking for my excitement about things back. I feel very lethargic even for things that I previously loved. Like music even. But its getting better.
 

John-Anon

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I know exactly how you feel and I'm sorry you're 6 months in. On the brighter side, this experience should change your lifestyle in a more positive manner and give you a first hand perspective of people unfortunately plagued with these symptoms constantly. I know it has for me! I've never been more grateful for the little things. I hope you have a speedy recovery :)
 

cope

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... when i started browsing bluelight, there where no recovery stories, which was very frightening.

luckily that has changed.

all the best to anyone struggling due to mdma (ab)use

recovery is very much possible.
 
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