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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

I have not tried the Q10. I’ve been taking Onnit Total Human that supposedly has everything we could need, but I don’t feel any different. I used to notice a difference before my MDMA experience. I’ll try the Coenzyme Q10. Thanks.

I had a lot of symptoms over the past 15 years, one of the worst was pains in my face and head, a neuralgia-type problem. I want to be very careful, because your problem might be different than mine. But, there is nothing to lose by trying CoQ10 which worked for me.

I would recommend 200 - 600mg per-day. Don't take it too late in the day because it will affect sleep. Either at lunch, breakfast or both.

You might also find this study interesting: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4346380/. People suffering CFS reported improvements to their health by supplementing with CoQ10 and NADH. This combination is working extremely well for me, too.
 
I have not tried the Q10. I’ve been taking Onnit Total Human that supposedly has everything we could need, but I don’t feel any different. I used to notice a difference before my MDMA experience. I’ll try the Coenzyme Q10. Thanks.

I'm in West Europe so I haven't heard of Onnit before. I looked at the ingredients and I think I've tried most of the ingredients in it over the past 15 years without any real benefits. So let's see what effect CoQ10 has.
 
I'm in West Europe so I haven't heard of Onnit before. I looked at the ingredients and I think I've tried most of the ingredients in it over the past 15 years without any real benefits. So let's see what effect CoQ10 has.

Thanks I’ll buy some CoQ10 today. I’m actually getting stem cell therapy for an injured shoulder and was curious if that could help for our symptoms with our headaches, brain fog, and cognition. I know it’s a big reach, but I’m going to do some research on that to see what I can find.
 
I'm in West Europe so I haven't heard of Onnit before. I looked at the ingredients and I think I've tried most of the ingredients in it over the past 15 years without any real benefits. So let's see what effect CoQ10 has.
Haha, that is one exact phrase an terminology my mates used to use in reference to planning an ecstasy session that night- getting "onnit".

So Happy dude, you were an old timer like me? My own MDMA use stopped abruptly 15 years ago. I don't consider myself to have suffered any recognizable physical MDMA related side effects and symotoms fortunately, over that time.
 
Thanks I’ll buy some CoQ10 today. I’m actually getting stem cell therapy for an injured shoulder and was curious if that could help for our symptoms with our headaches, brain fog, and cognition. I know it’s a big reach, but I’m going to do some research on that to see what I can find.
Your shoulder injury could even be causing or contributing to some of those symptoms, via nerves, especially headaches.

Structural imbalances can cause a shed load of indirect problems.
 
Your shoulder injury could even be causing or contributing to some of those symptoms, via nerves, especially headaches.

Structural imbalances can cause a shed load of indirect problems.

I had the all the symptoms before the shoulder. The shoulder is a very recent injury.
 
So I’m burnt out again. All my ltc symptoms are back and getting worse when working or working out. Even small walks results in heavy depression and brain fog the next day. Strange when I didn’t work I recovered to an acceptable level, but soon after starting working 16 hours a week the symptoms came back. A real burn out shouldn’t last as long at this.
My symptoms now look like cfs/burn out. Does anyone recognize this?
 
Hello everyone...just posting an update since it’s been 3 months. I’ve had a ct scan, Mri, and nothing has come from it. My head continues to hurt every single day along with dizziness and head rushes. It feels like my head is clogged with gunk...like I need an equivalent of Liquid Plumber to clean my head. I can’t concentrate on much and worst of all I can’t meditate any more. All I feel is this constant head pressure. Lately I’ve been getting nauseous as well. I feel like the physical symptoms are having an effect mentally. I’m starting to become depressed and apathetic coming to terms that I will never feel normal again. Headache medicine doesn’t work and neither do an array of vitamins. Does anyone have any recommendations to relieve this head pressure? I don’t know how much longer I can take this. Thank you again in advance.

Hi Faith,

I hope I have some great news for you!

I am also just over 3 months in and I can happily say that I have made tremendous progress with brain blockage and head pressure. For 2 months it felt like I literally had a shotgun blast go off in the top of my head and now I’d say it’s completely gone, or at least not too noticeable at the worst. Still dealing with debilitating anxiety haha, but it’s nice to have a few checked off the list. In no particular order, this is what helped me the most:

1.Supplements - NAC, Lion’s Mane, and Magnesium (L threonate in morning and glycinate in the evening). Honestly, Magnesium was magical for me. Glycinate at night also helps my sleep a ton. Started feeling the effects of both in just days. NAC is a must too.

Other ones I’ve been taking but I’m not sure are as effective for this particular issue are ginkgo, ginseng, rosea, and creatine. However these have been helping my cognitive impairments, which I had very severe, but are also much improved.

2. Wim Hof breathing - just YouTube it or there are some ones on insight timer that I like. This one has you force oxygen into your head, which I think has an added benefit https://insig.ht/tNSfM2TJKab. If thats effective for you, you can also do breathwork classes which are like Wim Hof x10. I’ve been doing the Wim Hof daily for a few months now and I do a breathwork class about once a month or so.

3. Cardio or HIIT - 3x a week minimum.

4. Meditate - I know you said you are unable to right now, and trust me I said the exact same thing for a long time. However, regardless of how scary and foreign your brain feels, you need to befriend it. Let the rest of your system know it’s not a threat, even the compromised areas. In fact, you need to focus on those areas so you can release them of their tension. Be at complete ease with exactly how they are so you can adapt to the changes that have occurred. I know, it sounds like some woo woo BS, but I did some guided sessions with my counselor and I could literally feel blockages being softened during the exercises.
 
Hi Faith,

I hope I have some great news for you!

I am also just over 3 months in and I can happily say that I have made tremendous progress with brain blockage and head pressure. For 2 months it felt like I literally had a shotgun blast go off in the top of my head and now I’d say it’s completely gone, or at least not too noticeable at the worst. Still dealing with debilitating anxiety haha, but it’s nice to have a few checked off the list. In no particular order, this is what helped me the most:

1.Supplements - NAC, Lion’s Mane, and Magnesium (L threonate in morning and glycinate in the evening). Honestly, Magnesium was magical for me. Glycinate at night also helps my sleep a ton. Started feeling the effects of both in just days. NAC is a must too.

Other ones I’ve been taking but I’m not sure are as effective for this particular issue are ginkgo, ginseng, rosea, and creatine. However these have been helping my cognitive impairments, which I had very severe, but are also much improved.

2. Wim Hof breathing - just YouTube it or there are some ones on insight timer that I like. This one has you force oxygen into your head, which I think has an added benefit https://insig.ht/tNSfM2TJKab. If thats effective for you, you can also do breathwork classes which are like Wim Hof x10. I’ve been doing the Wim Hof daily for a few months now and I do a breathwork class about once a month or so.

3. Cardio or HIIT - 3x a week minimum.

4. Meditate - I know you said you are unable to right now, and trust me I said the exact same thing for a long time. However, regardless of how scary and foreign your brain feels, you need to befriend it. Let the rest of your system know it’s not a threat, even the compromised areas. In fact, you need to focus on those areas so you can release them of their tension. Be at complete ease with exactly how they are so you can adapt to the changes that have occurred. I know, it sounds like some woo woo BS, but I did some guided sessions with my counselor and I could literally feel blockages being softened during the exercises.
Great advice mate and thanks so much for popping in here with such encouraging positivity and encouragement for others.

Also thank you because you confirmed I'm not a total Ludacrit to have above suggested that magnesium supplementation of some form may actually be very beneficial to these type of symptoms specifically.

So I'm really pleased to hear you sounding so positive about the progress you've made in such a short space of time it will only improve from here.

I never took any of those type of supplements myself after 9 years and roughly 3500 pills, to 2005.

But I appeared to recover pretty quickly and did not experience any lasting negative physical or psychological side effects which were bothering to me, but we are all different and I took all of my MDMA in the old days when the product was effectively somewhat different I believe.
 
So I’m burnt out again. All my ltc symptoms are back and getting worse when working or working out. Even small walks results in heavy depression and brain fog the next day. Strange when I didn’t work I recovered to an acceptable level, but soon after starting working 16 hours a week the symptoms came back. A real burn out shouldn’t last as long at this.
My symptoms now look like cfs/burn out. Does anyone recognize this?
When did you last take MDMA? It takes a while to get your full energy back sometimes.

You just need to rest well, conserve and recharge when you can on and most importantly just take the Weight of Your Mind for the moment because there's nothing you can do except trust that time heals because it always does.

I mean I would say that after 12 months of no MDMA use there is going to be a significant let up for a lot of people in terms of energy at least.

Just try and be positive my friend and trust that everything really troubling you will pass and you can work through it but being relaxed about this is the first step.

Keep us updated please at time-to-time we would be interested to hear how are you get on.
 
Hi Faith,

I hope I have some great news for you!

I am also just over 3 months in and I can happily say that I have made tremendous progress with brain blockage and head pressure. For 2 months it felt like I literally had a shotgun blast go off in the top of my head and now I’d say it’s completely gone, or at least not too noticeable at the worst. Still dealing with debilitating anxiety haha, but it’s nice to have a few checked off the list. In no particular order, this is what helped me the most:

1.Supplements - NAC, Lion’s Mane, and Magnesium (L threonate in morning and glycinate in the evening). Honestly, Magnesium was magical for me. Glycinate at night also helps my sleep a ton. Started feeling the effects of both in just days. NAC is a must too.

Other ones I’ve been taking but I’m not sure are as effective for this particular issue are ginkgo, ginseng, rosea, and creatine. However these have been helping my cognitive impairments, which I had very severe, but are also much improved.

2. Wim Hof breathing - just YouTube it or there are some ones on insight timer that I like. This one has you force oxygen into your head, which I think has an added benefit https://insig.ht/tNSfM2TJKab. If thats effective for you, you can also do breathwork classes which are like Wim Hof x10. I’ve been doing the Wim Hof daily for a few months now and I do a breathwork class about once a month or so.

3. Cardio or HIIT - 3x a week minimum.

4. Meditate - I know you said you are unable to right now, and trust me I said the exact same thing for a long time. However, regardless of how scary and foreign your brain feels, you need to befriend it. Let the rest of your system know it’s not a threat, even the compromised areas. In fact, you need to focus on those areas so you can release them of their tension. Be at complete ease with exactly how they are so you can adapt to the changes that have occurred. I know, it sounds like some woo woo BS, but I did some guided sessions with my counselor and I could literally feel blockages being softened during the exercises.

That’s awesome that you are feeling better and it’s certainly an inspiration for the rest of us. I’ll check out all your recommendations. Thank you for the advice and keep us posted as you continue to improve!
 
Haha, that is one exact phrase an terminology my mates used to use in reference to planning an ecstasy session that night- getting "onnit".

So Happy dude, you were an old timer like me? My own MDMA use stopped abruptly 15 years ago. I don't consider myself to have suffered any recognizable physical MDMA related side effects and symotoms fortunately, over that time.

Yes, I'm a little bit of an old timer. I did MDMA between 2003 and 2005 when my LTC CFS/MCS started. I had no choice but to stop.

Due to the chemical sensitivities and CFS I developed, I believe that my LTC was probably more likely due to something in the ecstasy pill rather than the MDMA. Therefore, I think it makes sense how some people can enjoy MDMA responsibly for years/decades without suffering an LTC.

I used to think that my LTC and CFS/MCS were separate things. It just seemed to coincidental they both started at exactly the same time (the day after taking ecstasy pills). Now I wonder if the people who suffer LTC have something in common with the people who suffer CFS/MCS.
 
When did you last take MDMA? It takes a while to get your full energy back sometimes.

You just need to rest well, conserve and recharge when you can on and most importantly just take the Weight of Your Mind for the moment because there's nothing you can do except trust that time heals because it always does.

I mean I would say that after 12 months of no MDMA use there is going to be a significant let up for a lot of people in terms of energy at least.

Just try and be positive my friend and trust that everything really troubling you will pass and you can work through it but being relaxed about this is the first step.

Keep us updated please at time-to-time we would be interested to hear how are you get on.

It’s nearly 4 years now. I’ve made really good progress when I didn’t work. Work and exercise seems to cause my problems.
 
It’s nearly 4 years now. I’ve made really good progress when I didn’t work. Work and exercise seems to cause my problems.

Hi Berendje and rest of BL community,

I have some input on your comment that I think aligns with something I woke up wanting to say and hopefully can be helpful to some of the other folks out there.

So yesterday, after 2 of my best weeks, I woke up with some of the worst anxiety I've had to date. It had been building over the course of a couple of days actually and I was experiencing so much adrenal fatigue, I thought about calling in to work and staying in bed all day. You all know the feeling. Exhausted beyond exhausted. Also, just felt really depressed because after doing great for so long, a setback was a real kick in the gut. I lied in bed for about a half hour before I said "nope, I'm not playing this game with you." I FORCED myself out of bed. I didn't know that energy even existed but I did it. As I got into the shower, the "LTC" sank it's claws in even deeper. The thought of my busy day and all the things I had to do while feeling like absolute death was overwhelming. Something different happened this time though. Where before I would bow down, I felt a certain aggression build inside of me. Out of nowhere, I warrior screamed, "NOT TODAY MOTHERFUCKER!". Keep in mind, I'm usually a very reserved guy. Thing is, I wasn't going to have it. I looked "LTC" right back in it's evil little eyes and told it it can take me down tomorrow, but no matter what it was not going to win today.

And guess what I realized? The "LTC" is completely powerless. It's pathetic. Even at it's absolute most goddamn worst, it couldn't even stop some ordinary guy from living life exactly how he wanted to. I worked the entire day along side it. It tried time and time again to fuck my world up and it simply couldn't. Did the day suck? You bet it did, but I never stopped, in fact I tried harder just to spite of it. After work, I did dog training lessons, went grocery shopping, and went to the gym. I worked out harder than I probably ever had. I was actually on the verge of tears at the end because I was so physically and emotionally drained. When I was driving back all these emotions bubbled up. The "LTC" was going to come in for the kill. Again, I don't know where it came from as I've never done it before, but I could do nothing but scream, "NOT TODAY MOTHERFUCKER." Maybe tomorrow I'll quit. Maybe tomorrow you'll get the best of me, but NO MATTER WHAT, you are not going to win today. I let out several more cathartic screams. Months of built up emotions poured out of me (honestly I probably looked insane to the people in traffic next to me lol). But once again the sad, pathetic, weak "LTC" could do absolutely nothing.

You know why it's pathetic? Because it only derives it's power by preying on compromised minds. Understandably, we are vulnerable right now, and that's why most of the time it wins. It won over me when I stopped going on dates. It won over me when I didn't go on that camping trip. It won over me when I said no to the once in a lifetime job promotion I had been working at for years (in the city I wanted to live in) came up. That's why it wins over people for years and they continue to be sick. But what we have to understand is that even at our absolute lowest point, we are still infinitely more powerful than it. You have the energy within. Your weakness and fatigue is just a trick of your mind and the terror you have of this condition.

So yeah, yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. Who cares? I know I'm going to have a lot more on my road to recovery. But now today, even though I still feel sorta crappy, feels like a breeze. I feel like if I could live my life exactly how I wanted to yesterday, what's stopping me every single day? Yeah, I'm still going to treat my body and mind kindly and give them all the rest they need for my nervous system to heal, but now it's personal when it comes to the "LTC". I've given it everything and now I'm going to start slowly taking those things back.

I read the same mantra to myself every day, and the last words are "I WILL RECOVER". I am going to conquer it or if it's not beatable, we are going to answer the age old question of what happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object.

So who else here is with me? I want to hear more "NOT TODAY MOTHERFUCKER" stories. I know I'm new here and maybe it's not my place, but I'm already sick of reading about how scary "LTC" is, and how debilitating it can be. We all know that. This place is the only one I know of on the internet where we can talk to one another. Nobody else can understand what this is like and we need eachother. So instead of freaking our anxious minds out more, why not share our victories (no matter how small). Change the attitude a little bit. If some regular ol guy on the west coast of the US can take down "LTC" even for just a day, can you imagine how powerful we'd be collectively? If instead of scaring eachother we empowered eachother?

Anyway, just a thought. Sorry for the long rant.

Have a great day everyone.
-Josh
 
I thought I could give my two cents about the topic of MDMA abuse. I'll keep it brief since I'm not much of a writer but Ive lurked bluelight and bunch of other drug forums for many years. Never actually posted anything though.

So I used a bunch of drugs for about 10 years but MDMA was the drug that almost fucked me up. It got to a point that I was abusing it so much that I'm embarrassed to even admit it even to other drug users. I remember taking over 1 gram of crystal mdma in one sitting many times and maximum amount I think was 1.5 grams of crystal mdma in one night. What resulted were some really bad symptoms, both psychological and physiological. I think the worst thing was how it screwed up with my ability to sleep. For a long time I thought I could never ever sleep without medication again. Of course there was the basic package of anxiety and depression. Every morning I felt like shit. I thought it would get better through out the day but it doesn't. At the end of the day I hoped that in the next morning I would feel better. That continuous cycle of hope that I would feel better tomorrow was keeping me going.

So, that was like 2-3 years ago I'm glad to say that I feel 98% percent recovered. I stopped using drugs and drinking alcohol but what helped me the most was vigorous exercise. Ive always been in a pretty good shape so it wasn't much of a problem to start going to the gym, swimming and running. For me exercising was the key for recovery and I cant recommend it enough. It is hard for sure but it will make you feel better and you will get through it. Also be easy on yourself and set moderate goals for yourself. Be patient and you will get better. And I think you will grow out of it as a stronger person. I think I have. Party's over.
 
I get minor twitching from time to time, often in my eye lids but it has been a minor symptom that has never really concerned me. Waking up in the morning and stretching used to cause twitching and tightness in some muscles. Since I started taking CoQ10 and NADH, the muscle issues (along with most other symptoms) have almost disappeared.

I have read a bunch of reports about people on statine drugs having great results for their legs pains with CoQ10/NADH. I ordered a couple of bottles and I'll give it a try. People with CFS/fybromialgia have lower CoQ10 levels in their body.
 
Hi felow bl
My story began in 11/2017 when i tried my first ecstady pill i will be brief
When i took that i suffered for 3 month of hell
All the symptoms of anxiety you can imagine
Muscle twitching
Tingling
Insomnia
Depression
Burning skin sensation in my back and arms legs
Blurry vision
akathisia
Etc
After 3 month of suffering i went to a psych
He gave me prozac amisulpride and xanax in 10 days almost the symptoms faded exept the depresion after 5 month of treatmant i was 100 % healed
Then i stoped the med by my own ( was stupid )
I started to drink heavily for one month i started to suffer from imbalance i went to the gp he gave prednisone( corticoid hormon stress)
I took it then bam all the symptoms came back in 11/2018
Since that date im suffering and tried the meds again but unfortunately they are not working on me
Im very desperate now
Does any body have an idea why the meds are not working anymore?
If i was healed the first ist that mean there is no dammage in my brain ?
Its been 2 years now
Thanks for helping
 
Try other meds man!! There is a lot of them.
I tried Seroxat, Lexapro, zoloft, effexor, now I am on seroxat + well utrin and feeling 80% better.
Keep trying don’t waste your time waiting!
 
took my first dose of mdma 7 july of 2020. it was pure white crystal. tested with reagent kit. 110 mg. im 73 kgs. i had afterglow effect for 2 or 3 days than terrible anxiety, panic attack, depression, suicidial toughts and other symptom. the first two months were pure hell. the depression faded away the first days of september but i have daily anxiety for all the day. tried 5htp helped me a bit. i had like 10 or 12 days without anxiety and depression. than rebound. i saw a neurologist and he gave me a therapy for this month. im actually on depakin chrono 300 mg two times a day, seroquel 50 mg, and rivotril. i also have racing thoughts when i try to sleep. DP DR and my tought are so intense that i think they are real, like if the events in the thoughts happened for real. will i heal myself and turn normal? sorry for the bad english not my first language.
 
I thought I could give my two cents about the topic of MDMA abuse. I'll keep it brief since I'm not much of a writer but Ive lurked bluelight and bunch of other drug forums for many years. Never actually posted anything though.

So I used a bunch of drugs for about 10 years but MDMA was the drug that almost fucked me up. It got to a point that I was abusing it so much that I'm embarrassed to even admit it even to other drug users. I remember taking over 1 gram of crystal mdma in one sitting many times and maximum amount I think was 1.5 grams of crystal mdma in one night. What resulted were some really bad symptoms, both psychological and physiological. I think the worst thing was how it screwed up with my ability to sleep. For a long time I thought I could never ever sleep without medication again. Of course there was the basic package of anxiety and depression. Every morning I felt like shit. I thought it would get better through out the day but it doesn't. At the end of the day I hoped that in the next morning I would feel better. That continuous cycle of hope that I would feel better tomorrow was keeping me going.

So, that was like 2-3 years ago I'm glad to say that I feel 98% percent recovered. I stopped using drugs and drinking alcohol but what helped me the most was vigorous exercise. Ive always been in a pretty good shape so it wasn't much of a problem to start going to the gym, swimming and running. For me exercising was the key for recovery and I cant recommend it enough. It is hard for sure but it will make you feel better and you will get through it. Also be easy on yourself and set moderate goals for yourself. Be patient and you will get better. And I think you will grow out of it as a stronger person. I think I have. Party's over.
Yes recovery, improvement and relief does occur in time. I too took a whole gram of MDMA in a night, much more even, especially in good old scholl pill form.

Like well over 2 grams worth. I feel I recovered well with time.

But absolutely, do not feel ashamed, guilty or embarassed. Just be open, honest, accepting and self-forgiving.

Harming others is more of a case for guilt and shame.
And I may be one of the, if not the heaviest past consumers of MDMA on this forum currently, but I'm not at all ashamed or embarassed.
 
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