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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

Nope, nothing of this will last forever.

A year ago I was in the same position as you guys (Dcoqo and manimessedup)
chest pains, extreme anxiety, nightmares, brain zaps, panic attacks, spasms, hypochondria, myoclonus, insomnia...a huge list of symptoms, I can't even remember them all. But now I'm fully recovered!!!

good news: recovering is possible!
bad news: recovery will take loooonger than you think, 1 year or even more, so be patient

The worst stage is the first 2 months because you don't know what's going on, and you don't even know what the "triggers" are.

well, the triggers are:
-alcohol
-drugs
-caffeine (coffee and especially soda)
-antibiotics
-stress

All these things make your symptoms worse for a couple of days, and then you return to a kind of baseline where things seem more stable.
What you have to do is stay away from the triggers! avoid them!
 
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Alcohol definitely makes it worse. I remember I went to a Festival, got smashed on alcohol, and had really bad facial twitching for a few days during my recovery. Stay away from alcohol and any drug in general. You guys will recover, keep reinforcing that to yourself and you'll see drastic improvements. Light-moderate exercise daily helps, once you've been working out regularly for about a month, ramp it up a bit to heavy exercise a few times a week.
 
Alcohol definitely makes it worse. I remember I went to a Festival, got smashed on alcohol, and had really bad facial twitching for a few days during my recovery. Stay away from alcohol and any drug in general. You guys will recover, keep reinforcing that to yourself and you'll see drastic improvements. Light-moderate exercise daily helps, once you've been working out regularly for about a month, ramp it up a bit to heavy exercise a few times a week.
I used to go the gym 3 to 4 times a week, but now I feel like exhausted all the time. And with the headaches... will I be able to hit it back?
 
@Dcoqo and @manimessedup

The brain fog is one of the first things to go, it seems that way in most people. You have to stay consistent with the good things, exercise is good for you. Do light to moderate exercise daily, and the symptoms will lessen. It's even been shown that exercise is key for brain health along with a healthy diet. If you try it for a few days and quit it WONT work, think of it as a suffer now, be rewarded later kind of thing. You wont see results immediately but with some time it will prove beneficial. Trust the advice being given here, it's all basically the same and mostly everyone is getting better or fully recovering, myself included.
 
Yeah, guys, listen to @rinzzlerr. Exercise, clean diet, proper sleep, abstinence = guaranteed fix.

It may not be a short term fix wither so don't give up after a few weeks.

For example, I quit smoking almost 4 weeks ago and I'm still coughing up rubbish, so I sometimes think to myself: what's the point, may as well be smoking. Nah, just keep it going.

Be a stubborn asshole, get er done.
 
With exercise, it doesn’t have to be intense or long.. Whatever you can manage. A lot of people get in this headspace where they feel they need to workout for a certain period of time or certain intensity for it to be worth it.

If all you can manage is a walk around the park or a set of 10 pushups, that’s ok. The important thing is that the next day you try to step it up a bit from the day before, maybe day 2 you try for 12-15 push-ups or add in 10 sit ups, etc.

Cardio exercise is shown to cause neurogenesis but HIIT and Lifting are majorly important too.

-GC
 
Hi all,

I've been reading this forum and after 4 months of crippling anxiety I think I finally found what's wrong with me...

4 months ago we went to a festival where we used xtc and I experienced a severe panic attack. As it was festival season, I used xtc a couple of times in two months (not smart) but I never did a lot and was always cautious. Prior to this, it had been a long time since doing xtc, and I only did like once or twice a year.

This severe panic never went away. It went on in ruminating and catastrophizing thoughts as where I couldn't go to work any more, being in a constant fight/flight mode. I tried neurofeedback for two months, which didn't help me and cost me a lot of money. Tried EMDR because the psychologist thought I had to process my trauma from the festival, didn't work either.
We went to a party a couple of weeks ago, when we came home I could still hear a sound from the party (which I often had when I went out, but it always went away after sleeping and it never bothered me before) but now, due to my anxiety, I immediately freaked out about having tinnitus. I kept hearing it from then on (a really high hissing sound coming out of my head), not being able to work again (I was working parttime at that moment). I'm sure I don't have hearing loss for my age (I'm 29) I can hear up to +16000hz, much more than my boyfriend who is younger. My GP described me Sertraline for my anxiety but I had such side effects (trembling, extremely agitated, diarrhea, not being able to sleep, and a night when I tried to sleep I heard an extreme loud noise coming out of my head so I had to take a Lorazepam to calm down and sleep), I stopped it after two days. My GP in my parents town described me Escitalopram (Lexapro) but I didn't have the guts to take this. He said I also had water in my ears so I have to use a nasal spray for 2-3 months.
I stayed at my parents from there on for two weeks. My tinnitus gradually subsided, as where I could only hear it (before I could hear it above the TV and everything) when it was completely silent if I went to sleep or woke up and this noise was something I always heard in silence (always thought it was my blood rushing) also my anxiety levels went down and I was more relaxed.

The next week I started working again (parttime), this went okay. That week we had to go to my boyfriend's family which stressed me out because they know nothing about my anxiety problems and I had to pretend everything was alright. The tinnitus came back in full force and I had a new vague ringing coming out of my left ear.
This monday I went drinking with a friend of mine, got wine drunk, went home, ate something and took melatonin for sleep. The alcohol combined with the melatonin must have caused some reaction because when I was falling asleep suddenly my head was screaming and I had to take a Xanax due to severe panic. I was really scared again to drink something, although normally I would drink some wine with dinner or in a restaurant and this had no effect at all on my T. I was with my parents this weekend, less anxiety, drank three glasses of wine without a problem.

I saw a psychiatrist yesterday, he described me Cymbalta but I'm way too afraid to take it, again. I went from being a really active female 29 year old with an amazing job, who loved to go out and dance every weekend, was planning on starting her own business, to a miserable girl not being able to do something except for take a walk and cry the rest of the day.

All my googling didn't help me. I've read the worst things about every antidepressant, about tinnitus, about frying my brain from the xtc.... by reading this I think I'm experiencing some sort of long term comedown.

What can I do to feel better?
 
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Im feeling super guilty and sad. I cannot stop thinking I have done this to myself and that I fucked everything up and it makes me feel awful.
 
Also I feel super lonely. None of my friends understand what I’m going through. I just wanna stay at home and watch movies.
 
Im feeling super guilty and sad. I cannot stop thinking I have done this to myself and that I fucked everything up and it makes me feel awful.

Don't feel guilty, it's not your fault and I'll tell you why... We are the 1 in 10 000 to develop these symptoms. There's millions of people worldwide trying MDMA without the negative effects we experience. You didn't know about this risk, you were a young person looking for thrills. If you do extreme sports and you end up paralyzed? Again your fault? That's what it takes to live. At some point everyone could be very unlucky in different aspects.

Your symptoms are mostly anxiety and depression, so your brain will rebalance and bounce back if you provide the right environment and mindset. Back two years ago all the people I've seen were as desperate as you, but not most of them talk about overcoming a challenge, with proud tone in their writing. Just approach the situation with fighting spirit and determination. Easier said than done, but this with combination of being healthy and proactive are your best friends. You can try SSRIs and antidepressants as well. Some cases it helped.
 
Hi all,

I've been reading this forum and after 4 months of crippling anxiety I think I finally found what's wrong with me...

4 months ago we went to a festival where we used xtc and I experienced a severe panic attack. As it was festival season, I used xtc a couple of times in two months (not smart) but I never did a lot and was always cautious. Prior to this, it had been a long time since doing xtc, and I only did like once or twice a year.

This severe panic never went away. It went on in ruminating and catastrophizing thoughts as where I couldn't go to work any more, being in a constant fight/flight mode. I tried neurofeedback for two months, which didn't help me and cost me a lot of money. Tried EMDR because the psychologist thought I had to process my trauma from the festival, didn't work either.
We went to a party a couple of weeks ago, when we came home I could still hear a sound from the party (which I often had when I went out, but it always went away after sleeping and it never bothered me before) but now, due to my anxiety, I immediately freaked out about having tinnitus. I kept hearing it from then on (a really high hissing sound coming out of my head), not being able to work again (I was working parttime at that moment). I'm sure I don't have hearing loss for my age (I'm 29) I can hear up to +16000hz, much more than my boyfriend who is younger. My GP described me Sertraline for my anxiety but I had such side effects (trembling, extremely agitated, diarrhea, not being able to sleep, and a night when I tried to sleep I heard an extreme loud noise coming out of my head so I had to take a Lorazepam to calm down and sleep), I stopped it after two days. My GP in my parents town described me Escitalopram (Lexapro) but I didn't have the guts to take this. He said I also had water in my ears so I have to use a nasal spray for 2-3 months.
I stayed at my parents from there on for two weeks. My tinnitus gradually subsided, as where I could only hear it (before I could hear it above the TV and everything) when it was completely silent if I went to sleep or woke up and this noise was something I always heard in silence (always thought it was my blood rushing) also my anxiety levels went down and I was more relaxed.

The next week I started working again (parttime), this went okay. That week we had to go to my boyfriend's family which stressed me out because they know nothing about my anxiety problems and I had to pretend everything was alright. The tinnitus came back in full force and I had a new vague ringing coming out of my left ear.
This monday I went drinking with a friend of mine, got wine drunk, went home, ate something and took melatonin for sleep. The alcohol combined with the melatonin must have caused some reaction because when I was falling asleep suddenly my head was screaming and I had to take a Xanax due to severe panic. I was really scared again to drink something, although normally I would drink some wine with dinner or in a restaurant and this had no effect at all on my T. I was with my parents this weekend, less anxiety, drank three glasses of wine without a problem.

I saw a psychiatrist yesterday, he described me Cymbalta but I'm way too afraid to take it, again. I went from being a really active female 29 year old with an amazing job, who loved to go out and dance every weekend, was planning on starting her own business, to a miserable girl not being able to do something except for take a walk and cry the rest of the day.

All my googling didn't help me. I've read the worst things about every antidepressant, about tinnitus, about frying my brain from the xtc.... by reading this I think I'm experiencing some sort of long term comedown.

What can I do to feel better?

Often side effects of antidepressants subtle within few weeks to 2+ months. You have the choice to try to endure it for a chance that it will work. If it doesn't then you can cross the antidepressant from your list and try next one. Often takes 2 or 3+ tries before you get the right one.

So that's your first option. Second is to handle it with healthy lifestyle, therapies and alot of non-stressing distracting activities. I often imagined the silly picture of running out of happy fuel, and MDMA gave me a hole in the tank. So had to constantly fill with positive feedback til the hole is repaired.

It's dim, however I've made a discord server with few people in there. One of the channels has pinned 20+ recovery stories. I can easily make them 50+ but lazy. Oops.. tell me it you're interested.
 
Often side effects of antidepressants subtle within few weeks to 2+ months. You have the choice to try to endure it for a chance that it will work. If it doesn't then you can cross the antidepressant from your list and try next one. Often takes 2 or 3+ tries before you get the right one.

So that's your first option. Second is to handle it with healthy lifestyle, therapies and alot of non-stressing distracting activities. I often imagined the silly picture of running out of happy fuel, and MDMA gave me a hole in the tank. So had to constantly fill with positive feedback til the hole is repaired.

It's dim, however I've made a discord server with few people in there. One of the channels has pinned 20+ recovery stories. I can easily make them 50+ but lazy. Oops.. tell me it you're interested.

I'm really interested in reading success stories...
 
Are you experiencing or did you experience any visual symptoms? If so, what do they consist in?
 
Are you experiencing or did you experience any visual symptoms? If so, what do they consist in?

No I don't. Felt some sort of derealization in the beginning (as if everything wasn't real) but for now just anxiety, depression, tinnitus (since one month).
 
Just visual snow, been worse now I'm no longer sure it's normal or not.

I am more sensible to strong lights. And also I get dizzy when I’m watching TV and something moves really fast. I think that shiny things leave like a small halo in my sight.

Have you or anyone here experienced this?
 
Hey Guys,
Here is my story,
I went to EDC Vegas this year rolled really hard all 3 days had normal recovery and comedown and bounced back. A month later a rolled again another 240mg of MDMA. A month after that I rolled again for another 240mg. Then on August 17th I rolled really hard with at least 600mg within the span of 2 hours. The first 1.5 months i had no sense of emotions my mind felt blank. The last 1.5 months it feels like all my emotions finally came back and now i just suffer from mood swings 3/4 times a day going from feeling normal to depressed to anxious. I was wondering how long does the recovery usually last? Will I ever go back to normal? and what are some supplements and recommendations you guys know of that can help the recovery process. I just recently found this forum and i have gained a lot of hope and strength from your guys stories they really help.

Thank you guys!!!!!
 
Hey Guys,
Here is my story,
I went to EDC Vegas this year rolled really hard all 3 days had normal recovery and comedown and bounced back. A month later a rolled again another 240mg of MDMA. A month after that I rolled again for another 240mg.

Don't roll so frequently, ESPECIALLY after a binge like EDC. I also went to EDC, rolled all three days on about a gram, and that's what fucked me, I'm recovered now but it's a long ride man. I still go to Raves/Festivals, I limit myself to drinking and the occasional hit of my friends joint to relax a little. No more MDMA. I want to roll again, I miss that euphoria, but perhaps in a few years once my body has completely balanced itself out.

You're lucky man, after my three day EDC binge I was completely out of it for the 1st month. I was mentally trying to comprehend what the fuck was wrong with me, I feared brain damage, schizophrenia, parkinsons, Alzheimer's, etc... My total recovery was about 3-4 months, but I really tried to focus on recovery and healthy living. It was an uphill battle for sure, but well worth it. The fact that you are getting better is a good sign, keep it up. The last parts of the recovery seems to just take longer and go at a slower rate, don't worry though you will be completely back to normal. I don't have too much time right now to write out a recovery guide, but if you go back a few pages I posted one. Also, look up advice form @lionheart90 and a few others in this thread. There's a lot of great advice. Good luck I hope you recover soon man.

@Femkevg I also recommend reading back into this thread a few pages, no more than like 10 pages back you will find some helpful info.

You guys will get better. Don't let the anxious negative thoughts make you think otherwise. And of course stay away from MDMA for now.
 
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