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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

Butanglol

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 15, 2019
Messages
4
Hey Guys,
Here is my story,
I went to EDC Vegas this year rolled really hard all 3 days had normal recovery and comedown and bounced back. A month later a rolled again another 240mg of MDMA. A month after that I rolled again for another 240mg. Then on August 17th I rolled really hard with at least 600mg within the span of 2 hours. The first 1.5 months i had no sense of emotions my mind felt blank. The last 1.5 months it feels like all my emotions finally came back and now i just suffer from mood swings 3/4 times a day going from feeling normal to depressed to anxious. I was wondering how long does the recovery usually last? Will I ever go back to normal? and what are some supplements and recommendations you guys know of that can help the recovery process. I just recently found this forum and i have gained a lot of hope and strength from your guys stories they really help.

Thank you guys!!!!!
 

rinzzlerr

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 19, 2019
Messages
53
Hey Guys,
Here is my story,
I went to EDC Vegas this year rolled really hard all 3 days had normal recovery and comedown and bounced back. A month later a rolled again another 240mg of MDMA. A month after that I rolled again for another 240mg.
Don't roll so frequently, ESPECIALLY after a binge like EDC. I also went to EDC, rolled all three days on about a gram, and that's what fucked me, I'm recovered now but it's a long ride man. I still go to Raves/Festivals, I limit myself to drinking and the occasional hit of my friends joint to relax a little. No more MDMA. I want to roll again, I miss that euphoria, but perhaps in a few years once my body has completely balanced itself out.

You're lucky man, after my three day EDC binge I was completely out of it for the 1st month. I was mentally trying to comprehend what the fuck was wrong with me, I feared brain damage, schizophrenia, parkinsons, Alzheimer's, etc... My total recovery was about 3-4 months, but I really tried to focus on recovery and healthy living. It was an uphill battle for sure, but well worth it. The fact that you are getting better is a good sign, keep it up. The last parts of the recovery seems to just take longer and go at a slower rate, don't worry though you will be completely back to normal. I don't have too much time right now to write out a recovery guide, but if you go back a few pages I posted one. Also, look up advice form @lionheart90 and a few others in this thread. There's a lot of great advice. Good luck I hope you recover soon man.

@Femkevg I also recommend reading back into this thread a few pages, no more than like 10 pages back you will find some helpful info.

You guys will get better. Don't let the anxious negative thoughts make you think otherwise. And of course stay away from MDMA for now.
 

Butanglol

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 15, 2019
Messages
4
Don't roll so frequently, ESPECIALLY after a binge like EDC. I also went to EDC, rolled all three days on about a gram, and that's what fucked me, I'm recovered now but it's a long ride man. I still go to Raves/Festivals, I limit myself to drinking and the occasional hit of my friends joint to relax a little. No more MDMA. I want to roll again, I miss that euphoria, but perhaps in a few years once my body has completely balanced itself out.

You're lucky man, after my three day EDC binge I was completely out of it for the 1st month. I was mentally trying to comprehend what the fuck was wrong with me, I feared brain damage, schizophrenia, parkinsons, Alzheimer's, etc... My total recovery was about 3-4 months, but I really tried to focus on recovery and healthy living. It was an uphill battle for sure, but well worth it. The fact that you are getting better is a good sign, keep it up. The last parts of the recovery seems to just take longer and go at a slower rate, don't worry though you will be completely back to normal. I don't have too much time right now to write out a recovery guide, but if you go back a few pages I posted one. Also, look up advice form @lionheart90 and a few others in this thread. There's a lot of great advice. Good luck I hope you recover soon man.

@Femkevg I also recommend reading back into this thread a few pages, no more than like 10 pages back you will find some helpful info.

You guys will get better. Don't let the anxious negative thoughts make you think otherwise. And of course stay away from MDMA for now.
Thank you so much rinzzler your advice saved me and gives me hope. I thought that i had done some permanent damage since its been about 3 months but hearing that recovery last several months made me feel a lot better I was starting to give up
 

Dcoqo

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 9, 2019
Messages
14
Fuck, I was doing so fine. I only had anxiety and trouble sleeping during my first night of comedown, afterwards that was feeling ok.

Now it has comer back. The feeling of that night. Huge anxiety, like a panick attack, I’m not able to sleep at all.

Am I going crazy? Why has this appeared just now?? The feeling is awful, like a huge pressure in my chest.
 

ixkx

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 3, 2017
Messages
10
Fuck, I was doing so fine. I only had anxiety and trouble sleeping during my first night of comedown, afterwards that was feeling ok.

Now it has comer back. The feeling of that night. Huge anxiety, like a panick attack, I’m not able to sleep at all.

Am I going crazy? Why has this appeared just now?? The feeling is awful, like a huge pressure in my chest.
I'm sorry you feel bad. It seems like anxiety (yeah, MDMA triggers it), which comes and goes, you may not even have an answer why in that particular moment. It can be caused by an external stressor or something like anticipatory anxiety. Don't worry, you will recover, although it might take some time. Usually recovery comes with time when someone tries to live their life without giving a shit about weird feelings. Check the book "At Last a Life" from Paul David, he writes from personal experience, I found it useful. Also psychologist might be a good idea (I would give it a try before considering psychiatrist, if you don't feel like dying), to learn some acceptance of the situation.
 

AutoTripper

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 28, 2019
Messages
734
It's either directly or indirectly related. Directly in sense of still induced physiology changes. Or indirectly due to the excess worry LTC was causing me. Also it's purely body anxiety, not mental. I'm calm and in total control, waiting to be over, but my body is like "OMG we are bombed, oh no there's dinosaurs too, watch out from the lavaaaghggg!" You get the picture...
You know, I feel I really have to say this again as what you describe is 100-percent typical of the neurological viruses I have mentioned the coxsackie viruses which infect the central nervous system and can literally harbour in our bodies for years without us even knowing we have the virus.

They are nasty people opportunistic little brothers who are very clever at finding the bodies weaknesses and weak points and kicking you when you're down and holding up somewhere where they can fortify themselves away from your immune system.

In particular these coxsackie viruses affects the nervous system physically causing anxiety and also affects the mind and the emotions and can feel effectively like a comedown.

They cause all sorts of physical, neurological symptoms. And gbey go up and down according to our immunity, energy, mindset etc.

I have vast experience with these viruses over many years as there's my mum and we both have been tested regularly and diagnosed very accurately when we have had them and in specific areas and given really useful information about how and where they are working and taking advantage of our individual bodies and conditions.

My mum is generally pretty well but when she gets these viruses they can make her feel terrible in so many ways, like most of the ways people here described feeling with suspected LTC.

So I think it is worth considering that there could be certain specific infections in the central nervous system such as these coxsackie viruses which are keeping health below optimum and triggering all sorts of physical and mental and emotional symptoms also directly enhancing anxiety which then has indirect knock-on effects and then this is all in your mind as well worrying about what you can do and will it ever get better and that sense of powerlessness and hopelessness comes flooding back in and only exacerbates things.
 

AutoTripper

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 28, 2019
Messages
734
Hi, I deleted my previous reply because I'm scared of possible negative feedback. But my question I want to still ask is:

What are some general steps and timelines for recover? I know there is a lot of information on this thread, but honestly I'm terrified of reading it as I was already anxious hearing about the effects from others on Reddit. Thanks
Hey, warm welcome first of all. And I just want to offer you some Assurance that this forum is a remarkably friendly, tolerant, accepting and open-minded place.

Negative comebacks are extremely rare and usually will only occur when somebody is persistently trolling or posting inappropriately or being an arrogant rude asshole.

And even then there is a hell of a lot of slack cut. Just feel free to be your honest self I'm sure you will be very well received unless you are an asshole lol in which case you get what you deserve haha but I'm sure that's not the case.

This really is a very friendly and understanding forum and much more sensitive and tolerant than the majority of the internet elsewhere I have found. I have felt remarkably free to be myself and express myself open here without fearing judgement or criticism.
 

ZeroLuck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2017
Messages
303
@AutoTripper, Thank you for the information, I'm skeptical tho due to;

- Why it appeared right away after trying MDMA
- Why my symptoms are familiar with other LTC victims.

Let's assume I'm having the virus, the only way to fight it is antiviral intervention?
 

AutoTripper

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 28, 2019
Messages
734
@AutoTripper, Thank you for the information, I'm skeptical tho due to;

- Why it appeared right away after trying MDMA
- Why my symptoms are familiar with other LTC victims.

Let's assume I'm having the virus, the only way to fight it is antiviral intervention?
Im not saying this is your problem, but I do know this phenomenon and interaction is very common.

And of course you could have had genuine MDMA related side effects at the utmost to begin with but have since acquired a neurological viral infection which has just been exacerbating symptoms and making it appear that no progress or recovery has been made or is likely to.

It was more that angle I am speaking of not saying this was the cause from day one and is old all there is to it or anything like that.

It's also to do with self-empowerment and thinking outside the box and not feeling so trapped and bound and also accepting that maybe this is not purely a consequence of terrible decision-making and Tragedy but actually just part of life and learning and trying to stay well in this difficult life and world.

I mean we have to remember the point that there are hundreds of thousands of people out there I'm sure suffering miserably physically and mentally with conditions which have no obvious definable cause and for many seem to have no hope of Recovery or returning to a normal life with many symptoms almost identical to what are been reported here.

And just to be clear I'm not trying to disagree or argue against what any of you guys are saying or feeling to be the case just trying to add some different perspectives on all of this for consideration if only for therapy sake.

The way that we appraise our reality makes the world of difference to how we experience it and I think this may be another factor here the MDMA experiences can condition us into a negative appraisal where we lose sight of how to see things otherwise.

And that is actually, now that I think about it, where psychedellics CAN be enormously helpful, and often are, for those suffer8ng from a conditioned negatove outlook on life, whether from MDMA or otherwise.

I am a firm believer that my regular psychedellic use alongside MDMA, both offered some protection and greater healing and recovery capacity for my brain and neurotransmitters, but also kept my consciousness fresh and able to be renewed and adapted according to needs.

Regarding clearing the virus it's hard for me to say because it's completely different for everybody in my own case I have these viruses for years on end and and it would appear only the the genuine prescribed homoeopathy completely cleared them in a timely fashion from the entire body AND central nervous system where they operate from and and will have the strongest hold.

I haven't seen my homeopath for about a year for testing and diagnosis but I will see her in January I have no idea if I have both of the coxsackieviruses currently "coxsackie A"1 and "coxsackie B4", but I strongly suspect both as well as at least one other viral infection possibly adenovirus and I'm also 100% sure I have numerous bacterial infections which will also be diagnosed in specific areas of the body in January.

The stronger your constitution, health, immunity, the better you will keep them at bay, under control, and prevent infections.

Understand also that they feed directly off of negative emotions and stress is amazing how these things can immediately have powerful physical bodily effects.

I have permanent chroinc and ,ultiple infections in my lungs due to severely compromised immunity since 2005 a minium of 2 separate, simultaneous infections in both lungs and usually between 4 and 6 most of the time.

I also have had a lifelong temper issue and I can get very stressed and agitated over things.

The correlation between my anger levels slowly rising and feeling particularly annoyed and an instant exacerbation and increase of mine respiratory infections is unbelievable and so instant and Direct and undeniable I have to be really careful to stay calm or I literally lose a tonne of ground after successfully treating and lowering various infections.

So when we get really down in our emotions and feel hopeless these viruses pick up on it and they feed off of the hormones or whatever and only grow stronger kicking us even more when we are down and making life so miserable and crap without even knowing we are unwell.

So I'm just encouraging people to be mindful and considerate of these other possibilities to do with pathogens in the body which absolutely must be affecting at least some people suffering from long-term come down and making things significantly worse.

Personally I am unable to tolerate virtually all natural powerful antiviral antibacterial antimicrobial herbs, supplements and remedies which would otherwise be of great help treating and clearing my viral and other infections.

Like silver, Wild Neem, Taheebo, Echinacea, tonnes more which I can't recall right now because I gave up thinking about things are simply can't tolerate a long time ago.

But seeking natural antimicrobials would be a very good way to improve general mental state, because everybody is overrun with pathogens these days even if you're not suffering from illness and treating this can radically improve physical health but also outlook and emotions.
 
Last edited:

Macenroe

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 6, 2013
Messages
65
My symptoms always improve a lot around 3 Pm to 4 PM feeling almost 100% in the evening. Relapsing every single morning to anxiety and panic in the mornings. Anybody experience the same kind of cycles?
 

marcinx64

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 28, 2017
Messages
5
I have exact issue, can do wonders at evenings, but earlier I'm a lot spaced out and anxious. Does anybody have a solution to morning anxiety like this? Looks like anxiety is the one and only symptom I have after LTC phase (it started more than 3 years ago after I binged with MDMA)
My symptoms always improve a lot around 3 Pm to 4 PM feeling almost 100% in the evening. Relapsing every single morning to anxiety and panic in the mornings. Anybody experience the same kind of cycles?
 

rinzzlerr

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 19, 2019
Messages
53
@Macenroe and @marcinx64

The mornings always started out rough, you guys aren't the only ones. This happens to many people. The best way some have mitigated that is by doing cardio (specifically HIIT) in the mornings. I never did cardio in the morning because I was too lazy, but after some time with exercising daily it got better and better, then one day it was just gone. Stay positive guys I'm hopeful you will recover soon or at least improve enough to forget about the symptoms until one day they're no longer there. Lastly I'd like to add that recovery is cyclical and non-linear, some days will be better and some worse, don't give up hope on the bad days, and don't forget to be grateful on the good ones. That also doubles as general life advice lol.
 

psy997

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 9, 2012
Messages
2,401
Location
noitacoL
If anyone is experiencing symptoms occurring at certain parts of the day and not others, what you are experiencing is circadian regulated, likely related to diurnal/circadian hormonal cycles, and thankfully, likely easily fixed with the right protocol.

My off the hip recommendation would be circadian protection ala red tinted blue blockers at night, getting as much sun as possible during the day, and waking with / watching the sunrise. Paired with hormonal help (circadian regulation will be more effective than any of these), specifically 16/8 intermittent fasting - at the least no eating 3-4 hours before bed, no cheating - no melatonin or any other hormonal supplementation, and if you are really serious, do Jack Kruse's Leptin Rx protocol.
 

wilberto

Greenlighter
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
10
Does anyone have/had bad insomnia as part of their LTC? If so, what did they do to resolve it? Had it for 7 years now and still can't shake it. Feels like it gradually has gotten worse. However all other symptoms of everything else have resolved. But insomnia was my worst symptom/fear, and it has gotten worse. Been on SSRIs for 7 years but feels like it's now not doing anything anymore.
I had the worst insomnia ever, which i found to be resulting from anxiety. Def some of the effects resulted from MDMA but longterm insomnia was manifested from that and all in my head. Ultimately i couldnt sleep without melatonin, then that stopped working. And i recieved a Benz prescription, which really helped me out. Im now tapering off and am finding success with melatonin again. My symptoms were and exploding head feeling, body jerks that would almost knock me out of bed, and i still get an occasional panic feeling that wakes me up. But things are finally sorting themselves out
 

wilberto

Greenlighter
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
10
Also I feel super lonely. None of my friends understand what I’m going through. I just wanna stay at home and watch movies.
I promise it will get better, but its going to take time. It all doesnt make sense rn, but you will grow from it in the long run i promise. And youre right none of your friends will know, but you found this thread and we all know what youre going through. And i would not lie to you, it will get better!!! Just takes a lot of work and cleaning your life up.
 

wilberto

Greenlighter
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
10
I am more sensible to strong lights. And also I get dizzy when I’m watching TV and something moves really fast. I think that shiny things leave like a small halo in my sight.

Have you or anyone here experienced this?
I would always see black specs in my peripheral like on the walls in my room. Sometimes i think id see flies, also some halos or flashes of light. This took about 6 months for me to stop caring so much about and now its barely existent. I really think a lot of it is anxiety and you putting these thoughts into your head often. The less i though about it, and less i cared about the less i noticed until its almost fully gone away for me now. Im 11 months in!
 

Butanglol

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 15, 2019
Messages
4
Guys, my symptoms got worse I know have insomnia and cannot sleep at night? How long will it take for this to be over?
Im getting really concerned
 

ZeroLuck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2017
Messages
303
I've started supplementing magnesium citrate before bed, and my sleep and memory improved. Think anxiety affects us while sleeping too. I'm adding it to the must-have stack.
 

LayonHands

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 19, 2019
Messages
1
No I don't. Felt some sort of derealization in the beginning (as if everything wasn't real) but for now just anxiety, depression, tinnitus (since one month).
Hi friend,

I’ve had tinnitus for about 3 years. I know it’s hard to believe but your brain will habituate to the sound. It no longer gives me anxiety. I have made peace with it and I can continue living my life. Although I do take precautions to protect my ears. If you need any advice or words of wisdom please let me know.
 
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