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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

lionheart90 said:
Wentworth211. When any man orgasms, he feels depressed.

semen is life energy. it is a substance that has the power to create life itself, naturally you feel weaker when you release it. All men understand this, however not all men care.

Drugs, alcohol included, you pay for the high. You feel high for the time you are on the drug, but then you pay for it in the coming days and weeks. You have to recover. Drugs is just borrowing happiness from the future.

as for bi-polar, who the fuck knows man. if you are depressed for 10 years, then come out of it. most therapists or psychiatrists will think you are bi polar or manic. Doesn't mean you are though.

You are the true doctor, not those people with the degrees in the chair. They just give you their opinion. It is you who is the real healer in your own life. Take this comment with a grain of salt, sometimes people really are manic (i have a friend who goes multiple days without sleep and talks to extra dimensional entities when he is manic. thats some real mental illness. Just going from happy to sad to happy, that is just life. its not fucking bi polar.
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I agree with most of what you say these days lionheart but I disagree with the statement all men feel depressed after orgasm, I sure as hell don’t. I only have in the past like in few days after a heavy session on some speedy substance, so I’m assuming if you do, it’s likely because your dealing with neurochemical imbalances.

I feel amazing after sex and moderately good after masturbation. To be fair, after sex my girl usually gets tired as fuck where I’m energized for quite awhile. One time in particular at a festival I was tired as hell feeling like I was coming down off my roll, went into the tent for an hour and came out like I had just slept 12 hours completely refreshed.

-GC
 
Update from me, last few days I feel normal, happy and enthusiastic. Memory is fine, however fluctuating through the weeks.

I no longer feel as overwhelmed or in no control of my life.

Been 2 years and 10 months after I've took 1g of MDMA within a week.

Cheers
 
G_Chem said:
I agree with most of what you say these days lionheart but I disagree with the statement all men feel depressed after orgasm, I sure as hell don’t. I only have in the past like in few days after a heavy session on some speedy substance, so I’m assuming if you do, it’s likely because your dealing with neurochemical imbalances.

I feel amazing after sex and moderately good after masturbation. To be fair, after sex my girl usually gets tired as fuck where I’m energized for quite awhile. One time in particular at a festival I was tired as hell feeling like I was coming down off my roll, went into the tent for an hour and came out like I had just slept 12 hours completely refreshed.

-GC
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depressed as in weighted down; lowered; disempowered (even if only slightly and temporarily).

If you feel powered down when you release
and powered up when you don't
then it's a source of power, isn't it?

thats my findings
 
infographic.jpg
 
If MDMA was "unlocking" some kind of mental disorder, how so we are all so specifically indentical from the countless medical disorders? And what will be the physiological mechanism of MDMA to do that? Is it just neurotransmitters imbalances?

Just woke up from anxiety attack and feeling very pissed, how long this sh"t is going to haunt me?
 
@ZeroLuck

Sounds like things are looking up for you on the whole man! Remember you'll be back to normal some day soon and hold on to that thought.
 
Benjaha said:
@ZeroLuck

Sounds like things are looking up for you on the whole man! Remember you'll be back to normal some day soon and hold on to that thought.
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Thanks for the positive vibes man, I believe so too. For weeks I feel perfectly alright, if we don't account the working memory, so... waiting patiently. :)
 
G_Chem said:
How certain are you this random anxiety attack is related to the LTC?

-GC
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It's either directly or indirectly related. Directly in sense of still induced physiology changes. Or indirectly due to the excess worry LTC was causing me. Also it's purely body anxiety, not mental. I'm calm and in total control, waiting to be over, but my body is like "OMG we are bombed, oh no there's dinosaurs too, watch out from the lavaaaghggg!" You get the picture...
 
Been dealing with LTC for about a year now, where i stupidly went on a 3 day binge... Yeah i regret that now lol. I suffered from multiple panic attacks a week for about 6 months before i sought after help.(symptoms inlcude: lingering HPPD, anxiety, panic attacks, muscle twitches, unable to fall asleep and stay asleep, headaches, difficulty breathing, head pressure) many of these i suffered daily. My message is to GO GET HELP. They may try you on a bunch of meds, that will probably make you miserable in short term, but i promise something will work for you and help you. I have had wonderful success with a very small dose of xanax i take before bed (.25mg). All of my symptoms have been reduced greatly, but im still suffering from it. Mainly now just headaches/pressure, some twitches still, but no panic attacks or debilitating anxiety. Looking back i was so stupid, but i have grown so much and cleaned up my life so much because of this. Although I usually drink once a week, starting to be able to tolerate small amounts of caffeine again, do some blow on occasion and dont notice negative effects im still young and want to have fun (responsibly). Use the LTC as a lesson, not a curse. My question is, while i still have some lingering issues does anyone have anything bad to say about me trying a relatively low dose of shrooms? Ive done a lot of research and would like to give it a go, just dont want to set myself back again. Does anyone have experience with this?
 
I’m back guys. Sharing great news as I’ve been back to normal for a while now. Drinking normally, back to my daily coffee in the morning, and everything else is looking good. I highly recommend laying off forums for a while as well. Break those anxiety loops.
 
rinzzlerr said:
I’m back guys. Sharing great news as I’ve been back to normal for a while now. Drinking normally, back to my daily coffee in the morning, and everything else is looking good. I highly recommend laying off forums for a while as well. Break those anxiety loops.
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Hey man, congratulations!!! Can you share the list of yours symptoms?
 
wilberto said:
Been dealing with LTC for about a year now, where i stupidly went on a 3 day binge... Yeah i regret that now lol. I suffered from multiple panic attacks a week for about 6 months before i sought after help.(symptoms inlcude: lingering HPPD, anxiety, panic attacks, muscle twitches, unable to fall asleep and stay asleep, headaches, difficulty breathing, head pressure) many of these i suffered daily. My message is to GO GET HELP. They may try you on a bunch of meds, that will probably make you miserable in short term, but i promise something will work for you and help you. I have had wonderful success with a very small dose of xanax i take before bed (.25mg). All of my symptoms have been reduced greatly, but im still suffering from it. Mainly now just headaches/pressure, some twitches still, but no panic attacks or debilitating anxiety. Looking back i was so stupid, but i have grown so much and cleaned up my life so much because of this. Although I usually drink once a week, starting to be able to tolerate small amounts of caffeine again, do some blow on occasion and dont notice negative effects im still young and want to have fun (responsibly). Use the LTC as a lesson, not a curse. My question is, while i still have some lingering issues does anyone have anything bad to say about me trying a relatively low dose of shrooms? Ive done a lot of research and would like to give it a go, just dont want to set myself back again. Does anyone have experience with this?
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Yea benzodiazepines, as well as any drug that effects GABA, seem to be the best drugs at reducing the symptoms of this condition. The problem is that once you stop the symptoms will come back worse than before.

I highly suggest weaning off sooner over later unless you plan on staying on for life.

-GC
 
wilberto said:
Been dealing with LTC for about a year now, where i stupidly went on a 3 day binge... Yeah i regret that now lol. I suffered from multiple panic attacks a week for about 6 months before i sought after help.(symptoms inlcude: lingering HPPD, anxiety, panic attacks, muscle twitches, unable to fall asleep and stay asleep, headaches, difficulty breathing, head pressure) many of these i suffered daily. My message is to GO GET HELP. They may try you on a bunch of meds, that will probably make you miserable in short term, but i promise something will work for you and help you. I have had wonderful success with a very small dose of xanax i take before bed (.25mg). All of my symptoms have been reduced greatly, but im still suffering from it. Mainly now just headaches/pressure, some twitches still, but no panic attacks or debilitating anxiety. Looking back i was so stupid, but i have grown so much and cleaned up my life so much because of this. Although I usually drink once a week, starting to be able to tolerate small amounts of caffeine again, do some blow on occasion and dont notice negative effects im still young and want to have fun (responsibly). Use the LTC as a lesson, not a curse. My question is, while i still have some lingering issues does anyone have anything bad to say about me trying a relatively low dose of shrooms? Ive done a lot of research and would like to give it a go, just dont want to set myself back again. Does anyone have experience with this?
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no more vision issues?
 
Needhelp123 said:
no more vision issues?
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The vision issues are almost completely gone, used to see constant specs in my peripheral vision and little halos or blue light flashes. I believe the only vision issues are from anxiety and myself thinking about it. Used to see a lot of visual static but the stronger ive been getting controlling my anxiety the less all the HPPD symptoms show themselves.
 
G_Chem said:
Yea benzodiazepines, as well as any drug that effects GABA, seem to be the best drugs at reducing the symptoms of this condition. The problem is that once you stop the symptoms will come back worse than before.

I highly suggest weaning off sooner over later unless you plan on staying on for life.

-GC
Click to expand...
I have to disagree with you and im not sure thats completely accurate, im going to listen to what my doctor says because he has truely helped dig me out of rut that i would still be suffering horribly with without him. At the dosage im on and the progress ive made now is not the time to wean off, i got a little ways to go. I will cross that battle when i need to. I take as needed, im not reliant on it. Xanax has changed my life for the better and i have a visible ending to all of this.
 
wilberto said:
Been dealing with LTC for about a year now, where i stupidly went on a 3 day binge... Yeah i regret that now lol. I suffered from multiple panic attacks a week for about 6 months before i sought after help.(symptoms inlcude: lingering HPPD, anxiety, panic attacks, muscle twitches, unable to fall asleep and stay asleep, headaches, difficulty breathing, head pressure) many of these i suffered daily. My message is to GO GET HELP. They may try you on a bunch of meds, that will probably make you miserable in short term, but i promise something will work for you and help you. I have had wonderful success with a very small dose of xanax i take before bed (.25mg). All of my symptoms have been reduced greatly, but im still suffering from it. Mainly now just headaches/pressure, some twitches still, but no panic attacks or debilitating anxiety. Looking back i was so stupid, but i have grown so much and cleaned up my life so much because of this. Although I usually drink once a week, starting to be able to tolerate small amounts of caffeine again, do some blow on occasion and dont notice negative effects im still young and want to have fun (responsibly). Use the LTC as a lesson, not a curse. My question is, while i still have some lingering issues does anyone have anything bad to say about me trying a relatively low dose of shrooms? Ive done a lot of research and would like to give it a go, just dont want to set myself back again. Does anyone have experience with this?
Click to expand...
Interesting, very similar story + symptoms for me, except klonopin didn't really help anything (maybe I didn't take a high enough dose, I dunno), but 75mg Effexor is finally helping me feel much better
 
ZeroLuck said:
Hey man, congratulations!!! Can you share the list of yours symptoms?
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Yeah of course.

It all started with a 3 day binge on about 1 gram. The first month was the worst of it, I had heavy depersonalization/derealization for about 3 weeks. It would come and go, but I would feel like reality wasn't quite complete, like something was missing, almost like I was in a different dimension or timeline. Thinking about it gives me anxiety lol. Along with that I had bad insomnia, couldn't stay asleep for more than four hours, really strong headaches and head tension, my short term memory was complete dog shit, anxiety was the highest it's ever been in my life, brain fog, and in the stage between falling asleep and being awake, I could hear myself think and I thought I was going legitimately crazy. The first thing to go was the DP. The DP returned for about 4 hours one day in July, it sucked but it hasn't returned since. The second was the insomnia, but only slightly, (it went back to normal around September). The third to go was the brain fog, but around this time (July) I had floaters appear in my eyes and lights at night began to look weird, like starbursts. The third to go was the memory, I was able to recall more and more, however, the first month and a half I can not really tell you where I was or who I was with, it's a blur. The last one is the head tension. That lasted the longest, even now if I get very stressed out my head gets a little weird feeling, but it doesn't bother, I know it'll go away with time.

TLDR

Symptoms:
- DP/DR
- Insomnia
- Headache/Head Tension
- Poor Short Term Memory
- Anxiety/Depression
- Vision Issues
- Brain Fog
- Thinking I unlocked a mental health disorder and was crazy

Like I said everything is pretty much gone 100% and it's been about 5.5 months. I still see starbursts at night, and when I get stressed my head starts to get that tension feeling. I've basically ignored those things and decided to enjoy life. There's no point in focusing on them. They will eventually go away, and I won't really notice when they do so I'm not worried about it. Exercise does help but I've been catching up on sleep, unhealthy foods, and alcohol 😂 All jokes aside everything is turning out for the better, I'm super grateful for all the tips and support I received on this forum. No one else really knows what we go through, my family and friends thought it was all in my head and told me to"drop it". Only we know how truly hellish this experience can be.
 
wilberto said:
I have to disagree with you and im not sure thats completely accurate, im going to listen to what my doctor says because he has truely helped dig me out of rut that i would still be suffering horribly with without him. At the dosage im on and the progress ive made now is not the time to wean off, i got a little ways to go. I will cross that battle when i need to. I take as needed, im not reliant on it. Xanax has changed my life for the better and i have a visible ending to all of this.
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Doctors don't know shit about dependency to scheduled substances. Why do you think so much dependency occurs from as prescribed on-label use? If you're using xanax every day, you're going to be dependent on it.
 
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