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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

Hospitality

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 25, 2019
Messages
31
If it's just anxiety only, consider yourself lucky. If you take action your brain will rebalance itself with time. Talking from personal experience.
Thanks, can you please expand a bit on “take action”? Especially since you say you have personal experience. Also I should mention I have some depression too, although I wonder how much of that is secondary due to the anxiety.
 

ZeroLuck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2017
Messages
303
Thanks, can you please expand a bit on “take action”? Especially since you say you have personal experience. Also I should mention I have some depression too, although I wonder how much of that is secondary due to the anxiety.
Anxiety is just a form of fear, you need to build confidence in your environment! My anxiety started improving after living as healthy as I can, but that didn't directly affect my anxiety, however gave me the clear mind to address my silly ways of worrisome thinking. I've noticed I think differently.

Relationship issues? Fix them or drop the relationship.

Money issues? Work hard, think harder.

Social issues? Seriously, should I care about other people presence when they mean nothing to me?

You got the idea, my diet is anti-inflammatory, high vegetables, moderate fruits, nuts, non-proccesed oils and meats. (Just thermal for the meat). Cheese/yogurt in moderation. Skipping either breakfast or dinner.

On other lifestyle aspects, trying to be productive and busy with my life, always doing something.

But the biggest advice is to outgrow your fears with actions. e.x I was worried that my memory is trash. However my main fear was how will this effect me competitively in society, can I even be financially secure?

My new way of thinking was... I've took my motorcycle license I was the best in the field. My muscles memory is fine, my long-term memory is fine too, so... Hell I can be best at many other things and compete other people with no problem, just won't be a memory contest, lol.

Anyway, just stop projecting yourself as a victim, start doing something about the things that make you anxious. The whole meaning of anxiety is to warn you about an issue. Listen to it, act too!
 

G_Chem

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2015
Messages
1,158
Wentworth211. When any man orgasms, he feels depressed.

semen is life energy. it is a substance that has the power to create life itself, naturally you feel weaker when you release it. All men understand this, however not all men care.

Drugs, alcohol included, you pay for the high. You feel high for the time you are on the drug, but then you pay for it in the coming days and weeks. You have to recover. Drugs is just borrowing happiness from the future.

as for bi-polar, who the fuck knows man. if you are depressed for 10 years, then come out of it. most therapists or psychiatrists will think you are bi polar or manic. Doesn't mean you are though.

You are the true doctor, not those people with the degrees in the chair. They just give you their opinion. It is you who is the real healer in your own life. Take this comment with a grain of salt, sometimes people really are manic (i have a friend who goes multiple days without sleep and talks to extra dimensional entities when he is manic. thats some real mental illness. Just going from happy to sad to happy, that is just life. its not fucking bi polar.
I agree with most of what you say these days lionheart but I disagree with the statement all men feel depressed after orgasm, I sure as hell don’t. I only have in the past like in few days after a heavy session on some speedy substance, so I’m assuming if you do, it’s likely because your dealing with neurochemical imbalances.

I feel amazing after sex and moderately good after masturbation. To be fair, after sex my girl usually gets tired as fuck where I’m energized for quite awhile. One time in particular at a festival I was tired as hell feeling like I was coming down off my roll, went into the tent for an hour and came out like I had just slept 12 hours completely refreshed.

-GC
 

ZeroLuck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2017
Messages
303
Update from me, last few days I feel normal, happy and enthusiastic. Memory is fine, however fluctuating through the weeks.

I no longer feel as overwhelmed or in no control of my life.

Been 2 years and 10 months after I've took 1g of MDMA within a week.

Cheers
 

lionheart90

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 24, 2018
Messages
178
I agree with most of what you say these days lionheart but I disagree with the statement all men feel depressed after orgasm, I sure as hell don’t. I only have in the past like in few days after a heavy session on some speedy substance, so I’m assuming if you do, it’s likely because your dealing with neurochemical imbalances.

I feel amazing after sex and moderately good after masturbation. To be fair, after sex my girl usually gets tired as fuck where I’m energized for quite awhile. One time in particular at a festival I was tired as hell feeling like I was coming down off my roll, went into the tent for an hour and came out like I had just slept 12 hours completely refreshed.

-GC
depressed as in weighted down; lowered; disempowered (even if only slightly and temporarily).

If you feel powered down when you release
and powered up when you don't
then it's a source of power, isn't it?

thats my findings
 

ZeroLuck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2017
Messages
303
If MDMA was "unlocking" some kind of mental disorder, how so we are all so specifically indentical from the countless medical disorders? And what will be the physiological mechanism of MDMA to do that? Is it just neurotransmitters imbalances?

Just woke up from anxiety attack and feeling very pissed, how long this sh"t is going to haunt me?
 

Benjaha

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 21, 2018
Messages
10
@ZeroLuck

Sounds like things are looking up for you on the whole man! Remember you'll be back to normal some day soon and hold on to that thought.
 

ZeroLuck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2017
Messages
303
@ZeroLuck

Sounds like things are looking up for you on the whole man! Remember you'll be back to normal some day soon and hold on to that thought.
Thanks for the positive vibes man, I believe so too. For weeks I feel perfectly alright, if we don't account the working memory, so... waiting patiently. :)
 

ZeroLuck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2017
Messages
303
How certain are you this random anxiety attack is related to the LTC?

-GC
It's either directly or indirectly related. Directly in sense of still induced physiology changes. Or indirectly due to the excess worry LTC was causing me. Also it's purely body anxiety, not mental. I'm calm and in total control, waiting to be over, but my body is like "OMG we are bombed, oh no there's dinosaurs too, watch out from the lavaaaghggg!" You get the picture...
 

wilberto

Greenlighter
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
10
Been dealing with LTC for about a year now, where i stupidly went on a 3 day binge... Yeah i regret that now lol. I suffered from multiple panic attacks a week for about 6 months before i sought after help.(symptoms inlcude: lingering HPPD, anxiety, panic attacks, muscle twitches, unable to fall asleep and stay asleep, headaches, difficulty breathing, head pressure) many of these i suffered daily. My message is to GO GET HELP. They may try you on a bunch of meds, that will probably make you miserable in short term, but i promise something will work for you and help you. I have had wonderful success with a very small dose of xanax i take before bed (.25mg). All of my symptoms have been reduced greatly, but im still suffering from it. Mainly now just headaches/pressure, some twitches still, but no panic attacks or debilitating anxiety. Looking back i was so stupid, but i have grown so much and cleaned up my life so much because of this. Although I usually drink once a week, starting to be able to tolerate small amounts of caffeine again, do some blow on occasion and dont notice negative effects im still young and want to have fun (responsibly). Use the LTC as a lesson, not a curse. My question is, while i still have some lingering issues does anyone have anything bad to say about me trying a relatively low dose of shrooms? Ive done a lot of research and would like to give it a go, just dont want to set myself back again. Does anyone have experience with this?
 

rinzzlerr

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 19, 2019
Messages
53
I’m back guys. Sharing great news as I’ve been back to normal for a while now. Drinking normally, back to my daily coffee in the morning, and everything else is looking good. I highly recommend laying off forums for a while as well. Break those anxiety loops.
 

ZeroLuck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2017
Messages
303
I’m back guys. Sharing great news as I’ve been back to normal for a while now. Drinking normally, back to my daily coffee in the morning, and everything else is looking good. I highly recommend laying off forums for a while as well. Break those anxiety loops.
Hey man, congratulations!!! Can you share the list of yours symptoms?
 

G_Chem

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2015
Messages
1,158
Been dealing with LTC for about a year now, where i stupidly went on a 3 day binge... Yeah i regret that now lol. I suffered from multiple panic attacks a week for about 6 months before i sought after help.(symptoms inlcude: lingering HPPD, anxiety, panic attacks, muscle twitches, unable to fall asleep and stay asleep, headaches, difficulty breathing, head pressure) many of these i suffered daily. My message is to GO GET HELP. They may try you on a bunch of meds, that will probably make you miserable in short term, but i promise something will work for you and help you. I have had wonderful success with a very small dose of xanax i take before bed (.25mg). All of my symptoms have been reduced greatly, but im still suffering from it. Mainly now just headaches/pressure, some twitches still, but no panic attacks or debilitating anxiety. Looking back i was so stupid, but i have grown so much and cleaned up my life so much because of this. Although I usually drink once a week, starting to be able to tolerate small amounts of caffeine again, do some blow on occasion and dont notice negative effects im still young and want to have fun (responsibly). Use the LTC as a lesson, not a curse. My question is, while i still have some lingering issues does anyone have anything bad to say about me trying a relatively low dose of shrooms? Ive done a lot of research and would like to give it a go, just dont want to set myself back again. Does anyone have experience with this?
Yea benzodiazepines, as well as any drug that effects GABA, seem to be the best drugs at reducing the symptoms of this condition. The problem is that once you stop the symptoms will come back worse than before.

I highly suggest weaning off sooner over later unless you plan on staying on for life.

-GC
 

Needhelp123

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 25, 2018
Messages
130
Been dealing with LTC for about a year now, where i stupidly went on a 3 day binge... Yeah i regret that now lol. I suffered from multiple panic attacks a week for about 6 months before i sought after help.(symptoms inlcude: lingering HPPD, anxiety, panic attacks, muscle twitches, unable to fall asleep and stay asleep, headaches, difficulty breathing, head pressure) many of these i suffered daily. My message is to GO GET HELP. They may try you on a bunch of meds, that will probably make you miserable in short term, but i promise something will work for you and help you. I have had wonderful success with a very small dose of xanax i take before bed (.25mg). All of my symptoms have been reduced greatly, but im still suffering from it. Mainly now just headaches/pressure, some twitches still, but no panic attacks or debilitating anxiety. Looking back i was so stupid, but i have grown so much and cleaned up my life so much because of this. Although I usually drink once a week, starting to be able to tolerate small amounts of caffeine again, do some blow on occasion and dont notice negative effects im still young and want to have fun (responsibly). Use the LTC as a lesson, not a curse. My question is, while i still have some lingering issues does anyone have anything bad to say about me trying a relatively low dose of shrooms? Ive done a lot of research and would like to give it a go, just dont want to set myself back again. Does anyone have experience with this?
no more vision issues?
 

wilberto

Greenlighter
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
10
no more vision issues?
The vision issues are almost completely gone, used to see constant specs in my peripheral vision and little halos or blue light flashes. I believe the only vision issues are from anxiety and myself thinking about it. Used to see a lot of visual static but the stronger ive been getting controlling my anxiety the less all the HPPD symptoms show themselves.
 

wilberto

Greenlighter
Joined
May 13, 2019
Messages
10
Yea benzodiazepines, as well as any drug that effects GABA, seem to be the best drugs at reducing the symptoms of this condition. The problem is that once you stop the symptoms will come back worse than before.

I highly suggest weaning off sooner over later unless you plan on staying on for life.

-GC
I have to disagree with you and im not sure thats completely accurate, im going to listen to what my doctor says because he has truely helped dig me out of rut that i would still be suffering horribly with without him. At the dosage im on and the progress ive made now is not the time to wean off, i got a little ways to go. I will cross that battle when i need to. I take as needed, im not reliant on it. Xanax has changed my life for the better and i have a visible ending to all of this.
 

anon1644

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 14, 2017
Messages
21
Been dealing with LTC for about a year now, where i stupidly went on a 3 day binge... Yeah i regret that now lol. I suffered from multiple panic attacks a week for about 6 months before i sought after help.(symptoms inlcude: lingering HPPD, anxiety, panic attacks, muscle twitches, unable to fall asleep and stay asleep, headaches, difficulty breathing, head pressure) many of these i suffered daily. My message is to GO GET HELP. They may try you on a bunch of meds, that will probably make you miserable in short term, but i promise something will work for you and help you. I have had wonderful success with a very small dose of xanax i take before bed (.25mg). All of my symptoms have been reduced greatly, but im still suffering from it. Mainly now just headaches/pressure, some twitches still, but no panic attacks or debilitating anxiety. Looking back i was so stupid, but i have grown so much and cleaned up my life so much because of this. Although I usually drink once a week, starting to be able to tolerate small amounts of caffeine again, do some blow on occasion and dont notice negative effects im still young and want to have fun (responsibly). Use the LTC as a lesson, not a curse. My question is, while i still have some lingering issues does anyone have anything bad to say about me trying a relatively low dose of shrooms? Ive done a lot of research and would like to give it a go, just dont want to set myself back again. Does anyone have experience with this?
Interesting, very similar story + symptoms for me, except klonopin didn't really help anything (maybe I didn't take a high enough dose, I dunno), but 75mg Effexor is finally helping me feel much better
 
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