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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

esucfu

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 20, 2020
Messages
8
***cervical spine alignment***

I'm nearing year 2 and have undergone lots of medical examinations. I feel I am getting close now, it has something to do with overuse of the muscles of mastication, which can actually affect your atlas (top vertebrae), which sets a range of things in motion, collectively a "cervicogenic headache" which encompasses weird headache, eustachian tube fullness (ears), eye pressure (visuals) and can also effect the tmj (jaw joint)

I'm convinced that this could be a root cause. The panic and anxiety being secondary effects from the general regret/unknowns/panic.

I've now had 2 cervical spine MRIs which have shown minor vertebrae bulging, but, laid down so the skull weight and balance is not accounted for.

I'm getting this checked out in the coming weeks.

Be interested to know if anyone else found relief or a cure by doing neck stretch exercises / chiropractor etc.
 

Needhelp123

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 25, 2018
Messages
140
Alright I'm getting off of here permanently. Still need Seroquel to fall asleep soundly but most things are back to normal. I think I'm at that 90-95% recovered asymptotic line where it'll be 6-18 months before everything goes away completely but who knows.

Times your friend. Of all the things the passing of time is what will make you better though things like exercise and abstinence from drugs are multipliers in your recovery.

I decided to go ahead and self-prescribe ssris to myself. <<snip>>. So if you want to get around a doctor you can order a barrage of SSRIs and then self-experiment.

<<snip>>
<<snip>>. I'm taking Setraline for mild anxiety, depression, and to completely kills my sex drive (so I can focus). I'm taking them to change my personality, numb me, make me more effective.

Past few years have been rough and I'm a little older at 36, hits home hard when you lose everything and your a little older. :(
That's probably in part why I went too crazy on the drugs, moronically. As a white dude I guess I'm just a little more self-reflective, and that's why so many of us opioid overdose, kills the pain of reflection... and then maybe kills you. 😟


Other than a YouTube channel that makes me $1k-$1800 a month I have no sources of income. I'll be a CNA then getting my ADN license for nursing then more from there. I just wish I had been a little more stable when I was younger and figured this out then. Still have other ideas but will wait a bit.

I may switch to Escitalopram (Lexapro) as I've heard some people taking that and going nofap for over a year :eek::)(y) lol

https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/50vu2c



So glad bluelight had/has all these threads. I haven't read every post in the backlog of recovery threads 1-6/7 but enough to get a comprehensive view and people from all walks of life. So if you haven't, to all those who come across this post in the future, I recommend.

Best of luck to all of you.

Goodbye! 👋🥳
What’s your YouTube channel?
 

Deep_Fried

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
14
Greetings,

I found a paper on rats actually showing a complete recovery after 22 months. Maybe they were given the right food and exercise this time around.
https://sci-hub.se/https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/cne.22631

I am around the 1 year mark and it does get better, although a bit plateauing the last weeks. I got a glimpse of being normal for a couple of hours after hiking, which gave me new hope. My eyesight, sleep and anxiety got better than ever. Symptoms that remain are DP/DR, bad memory, slight head pressure, minor thought loops, finding the right words and spelling words correctly. I find a good correlation of subsiding and remaining symptomps to the recovery patterns in the associated brain regions as investigated by different scientists.

If the rats and I as heavy abusers can recover, so can you. Heads up guys!✌️
 

Deep_Fried

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
14
Finally found some studies on humans with data. These look very promising to me especially taking the standard deviations and heavy use into account.
https://sci-hub.se/https://www.thel...cet/article/PIIS0140-6736(98)04329-3/fulltext
https://sci-hub.se/https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/481827
"...The present study suggests that, while the neurotoxic effects of MDMA on 5-HT neurons in the human cortex may be reversible..."

Enough researching for this year now. Take care
 

ZeroLuck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2017
Messages
366
Another update with me... The last persistent symptom left (working memory) is getting better after more than 4 years... The trick was intense aerobic/anaerobic exercises rotating everyday as only Sunday and Saturday complete rest, along with healthy wholesome and nutritious diet. Note: the workout is done with music of my taste, it elevates my mood dramatically, not sure if it's important.


So yeah...for everyone who had this as last symptom, this is the only thing that helped.

I'm completely symptom free now, with concentration and general congnition better than pre-ltc.

I'll still visit the forum and try to be of any use to new unfortunate souls coming along.


Cheers!!!
 

Deep_Fried

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
14
Sometimes it is barely bearable. But you will get better as most have. In this thread you will find many recovery stories and good coping strategies. When I cannot stand it anymore, I just go walking for hours and get in a meditative state. You have made it this far and survived the hell weeks at the beginning. It can only get better from here.
What might help:
- accept what is done, stop beating yourself up
- get rid of any stress, calmness is most important
- believe in recovery
- try some supplements like 5-htp+vitamine B6, centrophenoxin, brahmi powder,...
- https://www.reddit.com/r/MDMA/comments/hmyhhq
The things you will learn and adopt for your life by going through this ordeal will make you a stronger person in the end. One day others will read your recovery story here.
All the best
 

alienattack

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 5, 2021
Messages
16
hey @whyme,

believe me when I say that I know exactly where u are coming from. Í am also in this hell since 8 months. But it does get better and better. And sometimes there seems to be no improvement at all and suddenly u get a very noticeable one overnight. Everybody who gets this conditions heals eventually. everybody. for some it takes longer and some lucky basterds get out of it in 3-4 motnhs.

Dont give up. try do do good things for ur body and mind and try to avoid bad things for ur body and mind. thats the essence which will accelerate ur recovery.

there is a (self-help) group on reddit if u want to join. we all have/had this condition but some are already completly healed.

I wish u all the best and pls dont do anything which u cant take back. Much love.
 

andman1326

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 7, 2021
Messages
15
Hey peeps!

I'm done with this place but know how bad some of you are hurting. So figured I'd make this post. I've been taking generic zoloft and prozac (yeah I'm combing both) I've never felt this damn good life. Holyyyyy Sheeeaaatttt!! :) :)

Yeah, 200mg zoloft and 60mg prozac. YEEEEE-HAAAAAA o_O:eek::ROFLMAO:

Anyway the inhousepharmacy ssris are legit.

So don't be afraid to pull the trigger folks if you're iffy about the SSRIS. Talk about being able to reprogram yourself chemically.

Yeah still need seroqel a little but its getting better. Crew, do what you need to to hang in there.

Peace luv ✌️

 

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
50,581
Location
Looking-Glass Land
Hey peeps!

I'm done with this place but know how bad some of you are hurting. So figured I'd make this post. I've been taking generic zoloft and prozac (yeah I'm combing both) I've never felt this damn good life. Holyyyyy Sheeeaaatttt!! :) :)

Yeah, 200mg zoloft and 60mg prozac. YEEEEE-HAAAAAA o_O:eek::ROFLMAO:

Anyway the inhousepharmacy ssris are legit.

So don't be afraid to pull the trigger folks if you're iffy about the SSRIS. Talk about being able to reprogram yourself chemically.

Yeah still need seroqel a little but its getting better. Crew, do what you need to to hang in there.

Peace luv ✌️

Watch out for your Prolactin levels after taking SSRI.
 
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esucfu

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 20, 2020
Messages
8
tw suicide

just checking in here

i'm almost six months in to this now and still struggling a lot with headaches/head pressure, dizziness and dissociation. It's really getting to a point now where i am considering suicide. I can't really deal with living like this for much longer and I dont know what to do with myself. I'm only 19 and I have such loving friends and family and boyfriend I really dont want to do this to them but I actually cant deal with it. I already dealt with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts before this happened to me in January and now this is another reason why i should. all i want is to feel like my normal self again i feel so debilitated and exhausted by this and i dont know when it will come to an end. if anyone has a recovery story who had a similar symptoms to me what did you do to ease them. im just really looking for some reassurance from people who have been through similar because this is so hard and i feel like ive ruined my life and especially these younger years i was supposed to enjoy. i just wish this had never happened i have so much guilt and trauma from this i dont know how to help myself. i just want to be normal again.
Don't lose hope. See a doctor and get them to check you!

Make sure they check carotids, cervical spine and jaw, as well as brain.

Carotid dissections have been reported after mdma and the symptoms are common - this is rarely checked and is treatable (often with a long course of oral drugs)

Please get checked over
 

Unstable Lobster

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 23, 2016
Messages
1
Hey guys

Its been a while since the day that I came across this thread, the same way and for the same reason all of us did I would guess.
Not sure why but I just thought of coming here and sharing how things are going for me in this regard.

MDMA broke my mind, broke what it felt like to be every fiber of my being.
I dont have many memories of the first hours after taking a pill on the last day of being me, the first memory that was formed was this voice in me saying how the pleasure that I was experiencing was more that I could proces, after that I could only expience what I would describe as infinite pain while I became separated from this part of me that aparently was in some sort of hedonistic heaven, and though he remained in control of my body I could only gaze into the nightmare that my life had become.

More than 4 years have passed since my, I wanna call it personal but we all kinda share it, nightmare began.
Shit started to get manageable around the 2 year mark, first 2 years were just survival basically.
I feel like a new person, though in a sense after so many deaths and rebirths there is nothing new about that newness.

Not sure if its just my way of rationalizing it all and puting positivity around it so it becomes swallowable, but it feels like, unlike what I felt back then, nothing is quite broken, and that most of the suffering that I went through was already present, it just made its way through to the surfce.
Transformation, most of the suffering Ive seen seems to come from the inability to let go, the resistance to actually feel the pain is what carries it on forever, the fear that if you keep going forward you might find that you are trully and fundamentally fucked.

There are scars that remain, my mind is kind of a mess, I could probably get diagnosed with almost every single mental disorder out there, though as I learned to accept who I was that became less and less relevant, turns out Im still me, someone worth loving, someone who is perfect in its own terms.
Turns out there is so much more to who I am, there was and there is so much to explore, to understand and to become, looking back the whole thing feels like it was more like a waking call, if that makes any sense.
I have not become free from suffering, but then again, I never was, the journey goes on and life is just what it is, what it happens to become each new day.

When this all started I craved to be back to being who I was, paradoxically enough now I realize that I wanted to go back to being the one that did this to himself on the first place. There was so much anger and resentment towards myself down there that its hard to tell wether the MDMA crash was the inception of that anger or the other way around.
Im slowly finding the forgivenes toward myself that I need, somewhere along the way I accepted that I did what I did and that now I was where I was, and thats OK.

I firmly believe that there are no mistakes, that the choices we make and the consequences they have are an outgrowth of who we are, that the world each of use lives in is carefully crafted from the self for the self, still the beauty remains when things are seen with enough perspective.
Sorrow seems to me like a harsh, yet valuable friend.

I wish you all well on this incredibly painful journey you might find yourselves in, I would promise a sweet fruit at the end, but I would say that there is something even better, its just not a goal, as I understand it the journey goes on forever and so does the joy and peace that slowly comes with it.
There is more than enough light that will shine as you move further and further upon this dimly lit path.

Everything is well
You are OK

Take care you all <3
 

MYH1234

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 2, 2017
Messages
14
Hi guys, hope everyone is doing OK.

5.5 years since this started for me.
Over 2 years since I last touched any drug
2 years since I last drank
40MG Fluoxetine a day
Had MRI scans and balance tests; all 100% normal

I'm closer to becoming a person than ever before. Out of 10 my symptoms have gone from a 10 to a 4.5. I held a relationship for 2 years until recently and am functioning

Anyone please feel free to message me if you need any support. Follow the tips on these threads guys and we'll all heal together ✌🏻
 

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
50,581
Location
Looking-Glass Land
Guys you dont need meds to heal from LTC.
Exercises ,
Good food .https://ibb.co/9Vvtb11
Just stick to testo boosting foods , avoid refined carbs , sugar , gluten . Main goal increas Testateron when T up serotonin , dopamin production goes on. Even paranoid toughts completely gone fuck other people what they thinks. Ofcourse watchout for prolactin. Because like antidepressants, mdma also rises prolactin levels. If you dont know what prolactin does to your body , just google it. Even Fap makes prolactin levels goes up which is reduces serotnin and dopamin.
 
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ar223

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
19
Hi everyone

ive made some good recovery, been at it for 10 months now

My sex drive came back about a month ago, while its not as strong as before, its getting there

i also had a 3 day period where i felt 100% healed, unfortunately it only lasted 3 days and im not sure why but i hope its almost over, now back with typical symptoms, tired muscle pain and dereleazation and anxiety

but im feeling more optimistic now
 

Samoz

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 6, 2019
Messages
103
Im 2.5 + years still strugling with unbearable symptoms like burnng skin sensation , pin and needles all over the body , bad sleep and vivid dreams
Any idea is apriciated
 
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