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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

Sospiro

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 8, 2021
Messages
7
Thank you so much for the reply!!! So, you didn’t get any better before the SSRI is what I’m hearing ? I’m a little scared to take one bc of my HPPD, but I might need to
They helped me, I did got better. Not only from them, I pushed myself and worked with me to get better.

They might work or not for you, try different meds if you don’t see any results within 2-3 weeks. They will rise and lower your mood, for me yesterday was the 13 day on them and it was the worst. I thought that they made my symtoms worse but in the end, today, I felt amaizing for the first time. They need time to work and they can make your symtoms worse sometime but have patience.

If anyone needs to speak or ask something, feel free to PM me. I try to write as much as I can here and share my whole experience to help others. If anyone have some good questions, post them here.

If you need someone to talk or anything else, PM me.
 

ZeroLuck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2017
Messages
363
Another update with me...

Invested a fair amount of cash into stocks and been outperforming old and professional traders, people sometimes describe me as witty, sharp or generally smart. Since I'm busier with my life my depression lifted, anxiety is episodic in normal boundaries, would even consider it pre-ltc. My memory isn't probably what it used to be, neither the perception of time, however that's most likely due to the intensive stress through the years punching my hippocampus hard and shrinking it, but it's reversible with intensive workout, meditation and the right food, so if it bothers me it's just half an year of work.


With all that said wanna highlight some important things.

- After 3-4 years of suffering I've lowkey lost hope that I'll ever recover, which is normal because my perception of reality has been longtime rewritten over anything I could remember. However yeah... If you're in my shoes this message is for you... It did get better, and it was snowballing, how much you push and in which direction depends on you.


- A lot of cognitive decline would be due to depression and anxiety, which throws inflammatory and hormone responses in the body. Cutting the flight or fight response as soon as possible would be the best. Can take months to years for your brain to get back in track, don't expect few days and weeks be enough.

- Hope is everything... Never realized how impactful our thoughts are, dictating inner and outer perception. If you're worried and feeling doomed you'll exist in fear. It's common sense, but somehow we just accept it as normal. It's not.


Cheers ltc brothers and sisters, this nightmare actually made me want to be alive more than ever.
 
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howlowhowlstheowl

Bluelighter
Joined
May 18, 2017
Messages
70
Thanks for coming back! Can you describe what you had and what got better? Any vision issues get better?

Tell us what about you how much time you suffered and what subsided and whats still remain?
This was my 3 year post. At that point things were still really bad. Years 1-2 I had to move back in with my parent, mostly bedridden from the agitation and "tilt" as I used to describe it, sort of extreme dizziness and involuntary eye movements etc. It was a weird time of hopelessness, lots of entertainment I semi- paid attention to and suicidality. I did try to go for walks or jogging when I could. But I had to go during the night or wear sunglasses and earplugs. Sometimes I was dry heaving from the dizziness.

Year 3 I was miserable but able to do some things, leave the house and such, but it still sucked ass.

Now, honestly reading back that I can see just how far I've come at year 4. It's been pretty much exactly 4 years now, give or take a week or two. I wasn't able to socialize normally because of the severity of my state before. I just stayed at home and got into some online support groups. Nowadays when I'm out people don't usually know anything is wrong unless I tell them. Sometimes my involuntary jerks (neck/left arm/left leg) might show up but other times I can suppress and hide it. I have hope it will go away completely in 2-3 more years. I've been making some plans to move out again soon, start a part time job and then either get back to my engineering studies or more likely after this ordeal I've been thinking of a complete switch into nursing. These kind of life plans seemed so far off I didn't even entertain such thoughts when going to the grocery store was an issue. Things have improved massively. Even from last December I've been feeling better and more stable. I'm still not well, but I can see these things in the horizon. Most days I'm enjoying life. I've met some wonderful new people online and there have been silver linings in this experience.

To the actual symptoms. If you read that last post, the things that were gone then - are still gone now. So I don't have that insane anxiety/agitation any longer for example. From the list of things that have improved, my light sensitivity is much much less. Being at the PC does not bother me any longer. Dizziness is very much improved, it's not really there unless I'm feeling very stressed or haven't slept, am ill or something along those lines. Pressure behind eyes is quite rare likewise, the number I used at 3 years was 50% improved.. I'd say now it's 90%.

Fatigue is soo much less. I don't have the same energy I did before this but I'm active most of the time, unlike before. Again, I can see this clearing up in time. Tinnitus is there, but it's a mild background sound like a white noise. It's another thing that gets worse with pushing myself too much but other than that it's minimal. Not a problem at all.

The buzzing sensation in my spine has dampened down. It's hardly noticeable most days, and this I'm so grateful for. That sensation used to drive me mad, it was like being tasered in the neck every other second.

I still have involuntary eye movements, a mild kind of nystagmus. It's annoying, but not super serious. It doesn't really hinder my functioning at all. Just feels a bit off especially when trying to hold eye contact and such. It has improved from year 3 even. I believe it will also clear up in a few more years.

The one and only symptom that has not improved whatsoever and I think will be my battle scar is HPPD. Now, I want to stress that I don't see it as a problem whatsoever, but I'm mentioning it since you asked. There can be a grieving time for these things but seriously some people deal with much much more serious health issues. This is a minor thing. I don't even think about it except sometimes at night in bed.
My vision in daylight is a bit like this, though perhaps not as bad as in this picture: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/OpBpSBGJTQ0/hqdefault.jpg - There is a dark sheet over things, it's not that noticeable with both eyes open but if I close one eye it's pretty damn obvious. And there is a subtle grainy texture, like tv static.
In dim light, such as at night in bed things get quite grainy and blurry like in the middle part of this image: http://neuronresearch.net/vision/pix/snowyvision_composite.gif

Again, not a problem. It doesn't affect my happiness, wellbeing or functionality at all - it's just my reminder of this chapter of my life for the years to come. I wasn't planning on becoming a night time pilot or something.

It still annoys me a bit when people come here with some regime or guru advice, and call LTC a one catch-all condition like it's a some sort of cult (reminds me of the nofappers) , I do believe it comes from a good place mostly. But especially when people are recommending psychotropic medications lightly it comes across as a bit reckless to me. If you believe your symptoms are psychological, that's fine. If not, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to fix a problem caused by drugs with more drugs. Patience, and a healthy lifestyle. Hopefully you live in a country that will allow that, I know not everyone has the luxury.

For the record, I don't think my problems were caused by MDMA. This would not happen with good a quality tested substance. It's the risk of taking things from strangers at a party, I don't know what mix of rat poison and nuclear waste I ingested but it wasn't pure MDMA.
 

semisober

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 14, 2020
Messages
5
It still annoys me a bit when people come here with some regime or guru advice, and call LTC a one catch-all condition like it's a some sort of cult (reminds me of the nofappers) , I do believe it comes from a good place mostly. But especially when people are recommending psychotropic medications lightly it comes across as a bit reckless to me. If you believe your symptoms are psychological, that's fine. If not, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to fix a problem caused by drugs with more drugs. Patience, and a healthy lifestyle. Hopefully you live in a country that will allow that, I know not everyone has the luxury.
As always, thanks to the people who have come back recently with positive messages and stories. I think that is so important and a really generous use of your time now that you are on the mend.

I will add a slightly different perspective here - I think that, to the extent that MDMA damages the serotonergic system and impairs the ability for the brain to properly synthesize and/or transport serotonin from the raphe nuclei to other parts of the brain, SSRIs and other drugs that interact with this system could plausibly help compensate for some of the symptoms. It also interacts with the expression of 5HT receptors on other neurons, which could be a compensatory mechanism to help as well.
 

howlowhowlstheowl

Bluelighter
Joined
May 18, 2017
Messages
70
There are some leaps of faith in that. First of all we would have to be certain the problem is caused by MDMA, and not a tampered substance. Secondly the understanding of SSRIs or brain function is not fully understood even by those that do this for a living. EVEN disregarding that, would a nervous system injured in an unknown way react similarly to a healthy nervous system?

I'm not actually opposed to this, given that it is done with caution and care. People can do whatever they wish, and if it helps that's actually great. It's just that I have some history with SSRIs and am not a massive fan of them, given my experience and the less than stellar long term studies and iatrogenic controversies that have been coming out.

It COULD very well do those things. But it COULD also mess you up further. That is the part I dislike not being mentioned. I certainly had a shitty experience with SSRIs, and more importantly a nasty tapering, even when I didn't have an LTC to complicate things.

Still - I can see the value in perhaps speeding up one's return to normal functioning. But I do believe the *safest* way is to let the body do it's thing and return to homeostasis.
 

Sospiro

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 8, 2021
Messages
7
It still annoys me a bit when people come here with some regime or guru advice, and call LTC a one catch-all condition like it's a some sort of cult (reminds me of the nofappers) , I do believe it comes from a good place mostly. But especially when people are recommending psychotropic medications lightly it comes across as a bit reckless to me. If you believe your symptoms are psychological, that's fine. If not, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to fix a problem caused by drugs with more drugs. Patience, and a healthy lifestyle. Hopefully you live in a country that will allow that, I know not everyone has the luxury.

For the record, I don't think my problems were caused by MDMA. This would not happen with good a quality tested substance. It's the risk of taking things from strangers at a party, I don't know what mix of rat poison and nuclear waste I ingested but it wasn't pure MDMA.

There are some leaps of faith in that. First of all we would have to be certain the problem is caused by MDMA, and not a tampered substance. Secondly the understanding of SSRIs or brain function is not fully understood even by those that do this for a living. EVEN disregarding that, would a nervous system injured in an unknown way react similarly to a healthy nervous system?

I'm not actually opposed to this, given that it is done with caution and care. People can do whatever they wish, and if it helps that's actually great. It's just that I have some history with SSRIs and am not a massive fan of them, given my experience and the less than stellar long term studies and iatrogenic controversies that have been coming out.

It COULD very well do those things. But it COULD also mess you up further. That is the part I dislike not being mentioned. I certainly had a shitty experience with SSRIs, and more importantly a nasty tapering, even when I didn't have an LTC to complicate things.

Still - I can see the value in perhaps speeding up one's return to normal functioning. But I do believe the *safest* way is to let the body do it's thing and return to homeostasis.

Firstly, any "advice" going to make you live a better quality of life it's in your best interest, mostly in this period. I don't advise people to take into some diets to lose weight or anything like that, but eating more healthy (leaving junk food), eating some fruits and vegetables (even me I was not eating them for maybe 1 year) and leaving the bad habits in the past it's your best bet.

Brain foods, brain games, any advice, they may not have any effect but I truly believe that if you do them, even if they don't have any benefit on your body or mind, they will be PLACEBO and that's the most important part of it. I felt better when I started to do what I've written in my post. Maybe it's just a placebo and they are not meant to deal with what crap I took a few months ago when my LTC started, but at least I benefit from the placebo. And one thing, it's better to do anything that would " maybe make " you feel better and you think that's the way for you to end the LTC than nothing. Even if they are placebos, they are time killers. And we all know from all the posts that the LTC can end from 3 months, on average 1-2 years and some still have some symptoms after those years. But at least they feel better and they killed the time with proper and quality things. Maybe reading a book will not make your brain forget about LTC and instantly recover after 1-2 books your serotonin levels and things like that. But at least you gained some knowledge and killed some time. And TIME I must say again it's the most important thing here.

Because you mentioned it, many nofappers say that they had some improvements from this. And I must say myself that I didn't believe any crap from that subreddit. But after trying it I felt better about myself. My face skin was glowing again and I didn't have so many pimples. That made me happy when I looked in the mirror and had a good influence on my day. I gained more confidence and courage to talk to girls because before that I would just simply fap and forget about any girl I had in my DMs. So yeah, there are also some benefits. Not even talking about how much serotonin and dopamine you waste if you are a porn addict or fap too many times.

And you talked about SSRI. Don't scare people to NOT try something. I was in the most depressed state I could ever live. Tried an SSRI and now, after 2 weeks I feel the best. I still have some LTC symptoms but at least I can walk outside, eat, sleep, play some games and just simply do anything on that day. Before the meds, I was just extreme fatigue and in the worst state ever. I literally thought that I would die because if I can't do anything maybe my body will refuse to do some vital work inside my body also.

Let people talk to a psyc and don't scare them off. Seriously, I'm full of people giving advice like " don't listen to that diet, don't do that, don't take meds, don't try to do that because it didn't work for me or I know it's bullshit ".

I wanted to write another guide as I did before but I know people like you would come and maybe leave a comment like " yeah, that's not gonna work ".

There are enough people here which I bet 100% they didn't really work on themself and see the roots of the problem, live a better quality of life, try to go out more, and try harder and harder every day. I did small baby steps in my last 3 weeks and I'm 90% better than 3 weeks ago. And this is just the beginning. I suffered so much in the past months because I didn't know what happened to me, I didn't ask for help, I didn't know what I could do to improve myself and what meds to take. But now I know at least what to do and how to work on myself.

Everything I wrote in that guide really helped me. I plan to quit the SSRI because it only makes me sleepy during the day, I'm only taking a very low dose. It helped me but I really don't plan to use it for more than 1 month because of the tampering issue. Right now I'm just working on the best relaxation methods and brain training.
 

Sospiro

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 8, 2021
Messages
7
MDMA RECOVERY GUIDE 2.0

&

30 DAYS CHALLENGE

Before reading, please acknowledge that everything I've written is based on reading in the past 3 weeks book synthesis, articles, forum posts, subreddits, scientific paper works and talking with people who went through LTC or had the same symptoms naturally as we have. I don't need and I will not explain myself a lot on every subject I will approach here. I don't need to refer to some paperwork or have some bibliography at the end of the post because I'm not writing scientific paperwork for some publication or for my college.

If you want to recover, this is the only post for you. If anyone tries to deny my post by saying " this doesn't work ", then they are absolute idiots who don't know anything about this life and will endlessly suffer from mental illness and stupidity and they will blame the LTC on this one.

BE AWARE: I'm not a medic in any way. Not a neurologist, nor a psychologist or psychiatrist. So, please seek special care for your problems. This post is not going to fix your issues instantly. Take proper care from the nearest medical center and listen to their advice.

You can my last post HERE and see my full symptoms and my story. It was a hard hell for me because they all hit me at the same time but from what I've written there and done it myself, well, it worked wonders. I can say I'm feeling at least 90% better from that post and I can do much more. I couldn't remember the days, I had no memories from any period of my life, I couldn't even eat, sleep, walk or play a game. Nor watching some tv series or a movie. Now I can enjoy my life almost normally and I can even go to the gym or go for a run. So, for me, it really helped. And I'm going to do more about this.

I'm challenging you to do everything for 30 days and I advise you to do your OWN research.

You can just google these keywords: brain foods , relaxing things to do, brain training, etc.


My challenge for you is to do those activities DAILY for 30 days and see your improvements yourself. It takes time for something to work.

  1. Meditation - do your own research to see the benefits of it. There are also enough tutorials on youtube to guide you. Also, many phone apps to help and remind you for it and a dedicated subreddit.
  2. Wim Hof respiration method - as stated in my previous post. There are plenty of YouTubers who tried it and they saw benefits from it. The man beat some crazy records, you can search for them yourself, so I think that he knows what's he talking about. He wrote a book and even on a youtube video, he states that because of this, diet and cold showers he doesn't have time for depression and anxiety, he overcomes even the death of his wife from these methods and without any meds!
  3. Yoga - do your own research to see the benefits of it. There is a dedicated post on the subreddit and you can see what yoga is about. Many youtube videos and phone apps to help you if you're a beginner. If you can take some yoga classes then I advise you should try them. But if you have some anxiety to go or the issue is the money, home is good as well.
  4. Walking ( preferably in nature ) - just a 30 minutes walk can cool you off and boost your energy and mood. If you have the chance to go to nature or just a regular park, I advise you to go there. If not, it's okay to go around the city for at least 30 minutes.
  5. Gym / Home exercises - if you have the chance to go to the gym, then go for it. Plenty of resources on the internet for training and diets to help you through the process of building your body and mental health. You can also just try it at home because there's plenty of help on youtube or phone apps to do home exercises. You can even buy some home equipment if you have the money.
  6. Reading - not only it improves your brain, but you can simply learn about new things and become a smarter person from your group. There are many benefits of reading and for me, it really helps. Maybe it doesn't help directly with LTC but if someone argues with me that you should not read or it doesn't help, then he is simply an idiot. At least 30 pages per day should do the work. Any subject you like.
  7. Podcasts - a good time killer and it's relaxing to listen to someone talking on a subject you love. It doesn't need to be something specific, there are many podcasts you can search about anxiety or depression but you can simply listen to some topic you enjoy or with someone you like. It kills time and enjoyable. You can even learn a thing or two.
  8. Brain Games - Chess, Backgammon, Sudoku, Jigsaw, Rubik, card games, etc. Those stated is what I've tried and I saw the best improvements in my cognitive functions and I have better times and better experiences in playing them. There's a list in my previous post, you can pick anything. I stated what I enjoy, worked for me and it's proven to be the best brain games.
  9. Video Games - it kills time and you can enjoy some good time with your friends or some random guys if you're gonna play something online. If not, try a single-player game that involves your full attention. Doing missions, winning battles, all release some dopamine because you did something good.
  10. TV Series / Movies - it kills time and you can enjoy your favorite ones. You can even watch some documentaries if you wanna learn something new.
  11. Listen to music - try something new or listen to the same songs you enjoyed back then.
  12. Learn a new language - Duolingo should do the trick. Plenty of resources online also.
  13. Adult coloring books - maybe some would laugh but I've found about their existence a few days ago and they are proven to help you with stress. When I concentrate my anxiety levels are almost zero. Plus, it's nice to see what you've done.
  14. Writing - write down your feelings, keep a journal, write down things you're still grateful for. It's good to have a positive mindset and if you keep those, you'll see that " Oh, well, I see I'm better than a week ago ". I couldn't differentiate days and this helped me to see that I really improved. Also, you can write something you like about or even start a little blog by yourself. It's nice to see your work from time to time. You can improve your writing skills and from the research, you make you also improve your knowledge.
  15. Massage - ask a friend or go somewhere and pay for one. You can also buy a scalp massager or anything you can find online.
  16. Practice progressive muscle relaxation ( see here an example )
  17. Watch a stand-up comedy - in this LTC I could barely laugh. But with baby steps, I can fully laugh now and it's nothing fake. It raises my mood when I see a full stand-up special or some parts on youtube from some club.
  18. A warm bath before bed - I sleep like a baby after taking a warm bath. You can try some bath salt or even magnesium salt (Epsom salt). Research online and don't overdo it.
What I would advise you is to start with baby steps. You can't change your routine so fast and add so many new things. It's hard but it pays off eventually.

I would start with cleaning your room and try to get an essential oil diffuser. If you have money, you can also buy an air purifier.

For the eating part, don't go for diets or anything crazy. Just try to eat clean and add fruits and vegetables to your meals ( chicken, eggs, salmon, peanut butter, bananas, nuts, blueberries, broccoli, avocado, whole grain bread, etc) . I advise you to a green cup of tea in the morning and any tea without caffeine before bed.

Start working or something or get yourself a part-time / full-time job. You need to keep your attention somewhere else, if you just lay down and do nothing with your life, nothing is going to change. Try also to socialize more, join book clubs, do some charity work and plant some trees, anything.

I also advise you to take care of your body, try some face skin routines.

Learn some new skills ( communication skills for example. google them and try to learn more skills ). It's really helpful to know something new and it's not only about "this will help with your LTC" by boosting something in your brain. No, it's GOOD for yourself. You spend time learning and concentrating on another subject and you don't pay full attention to your LTC bullshit anymore. And you will be glad after this LTC comes to do an end that you literally learned something useful you can use in your life.

Try to ride a bike, learn an instrument ( piano or guitar ), learn to draw, etc.

When you are more responsible, if you don't have a pet yet, try to get one. A dog or a cat would be perfect.

Treat yourself with rewards you like. Go to the mall and shop for some new clothes. Reward yourself with a pizza or some cakes from time to time. Don't try to overdo this and live like a fake Instagram nutritionist.

Do anything that makes you happy and gives you peace. Youtube videos, twitch streams, etc.

Supplements: Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Vitamine B Complex, Magnesium, NAC, Lion's Mane, OMEGA 3, Zync, Selenium, Citicoline, L-Tyrosine , L-Theanine.

Those are all the supplements I've been reading about my entire LTC. From all of them, I've only taken the Magnesium. That was also recommended by my doctors. I DON'T ADVISE YOU TO TAKE ANY SUPPLEMENTS, EVEN MAGNESIUM.

Speak with a specialist about this. Don't go and buy yourself any of them. It's more good and natural to take them from food, so search online for that. Also, if you already have some good levels of vitamin C, D, etc, you will do more bad than good by taking those. Do a blood test and see if you have a deficiency before taking anything.

Psychologist / Psychiatrist - they are going to help you. Maybe they haven't faced yet LTC people but all the symptoms we have, they treated them before. Anxiety, depression, depersonalization, extreme fatigue, etc, they treated them. With or without meds. So that's why I'm STRONGLY advising you to see them.

I personally took an SSRI and it helped me a lot. There are also side effects from taking them but they will go away. Start slow and talk every time with your psyc about how you feeling about them and if you want to change them. There are plenty of subreddits with people who can let you know how they are feeling, what side effects you can get and how to temper them. Be aware that it can take up to 2-3 weeks of taking them before you see any results. For me, I saw some results in the first week but now I fully acknowledge them. It helped me do what I've been writing here.

For sleep (insomnia ) others take Mirtazapine but are aware that they can increase your appetite and gain weight. Benzos can do the work also can. I only took the SSRI personally. I don't advise you in taking or not taking anything. Just DO the research yourself and ask if you want to go into a living hell for months or try some meds for a short period of time and work on yourself meanwhile. And also, of course, GO TO THE PSYC.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guys, I've been there. I was searching for the magic pill to save me. I really didn't believe anyone who was writing that they were getting better or fully recovered. I always thought that I had brain damage because I was weaker than them. Or maybe I took something too dangerous and I can't recover. Maybe they were lucky or just lying in the hope others don't suicide or lose hope.

But..NO! They were 100% right. I was speaking with many users who recovered and yes, they didn't really do anything I've been writing here. Just eating better, sleeping and some took some meds, others not. But I'm 100% sure if they followed a good lifestyle and tried to reduce all the anxiety and stress, they would have been recovering faster.

I personally can't vouch for the people who have black spots in their eyes or anything like that. I had a blurry vision as well, dizziness, extreme fatigue, etc..you name it. But I overcome everything with what I've been writing. We are ALL humans and your brain neuroplasticity is absolutely awesome. What works for me can 100% sure work for you as well because we are both humans, but it can take longer or shorter than me. And that's all up to you, your body, and your mind.

When I stopped symptom-checking every time I felt something and realised I had a major anxiety problem, things started to go in a good direction. I also had earworms every time and I saw they are generated by massive stress and anxiety. So yes, I didn't felt stressed or anxious at home but my brain was because the chemicals were so unbalanced and I didn't know what to do to help him. So, from all my research I came up with that list, and even if it's helping or not, even if its placebo or not, I am sure that they have some benefits and they are absolutely time killers and I know for a FACT that time is 100% the problem solver here.

So, for me, even if I play chess and read some books and they help me 0% with my LTC, I know that after this comes to an end I will have much more knowledge and faster time-decision making.

I know there are so many frustrated people that they will continuously post that " this is not working " or " that is complete bullshit " , etc, but I promise you that he is working if YOU want to work it. If you don't believe in this and in yourself, anything would not work..and for sure I've also tested this on my own skin.

So, I'm advising you to stop reading anything about LTC. Copy-paste everything I saw above into a notepad and start living a better quality of life with clean habits. Everything I said can also develop you as a brand new person, a better one than you were before.

I will remind you that you don't have brain damage once again. Please hold in there. Work with yourself. Look at photos or listen to voice records of yourself before and see how nice times were. Do your own research on the topics I've come along with to see what can make you happy.

Also, the last thing I want you to see from this forum is THIS.

I hope you will only come back one day and post something positive for the community as well. There are lots of people who are writing something negative because they are in a bad state and then they never come back when they are recovered. Some people are just lurkers who don't want to take some time to write something.

I don't expect you to come back and let us know that you are fine now but if you can, I would advise you because now you know how good is to hear from someone that he recovered! Don't let yourself down, everything is in your hands. For some people can take few months, for some people few years. On average is 1 year for everyone but after 2-3 months you are basically ok but not fully recovered. Don't worry, you'll not be in a constant hell every day for a full year and then you'll feel instantly better.

There are baby steps every time. Now, get your ass off this forum and start doing the work. Don't come back because it's useless. This is purely exactly step-by-step what you need to do. Just TAKE action. There's no other way, no pill, no doctor, no surgery, no nothing. It's just time, but how much time it's again depending on you. If you wanna complain every time and think about you are completely damaged, then fine.

But if you wanna truly recover fast, then start doing the good work.

Peace. <3
 

andman1326

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 7, 2021
Messages
14
This was my 3 year post. At that point things were still really bad. Years 1-2 I had to move back in with my parent, mostly bedridden from the agitation and "tilt" as I used to describe it, sort of extreme dizziness and involuntary eye movements etc. It was a weird time of hopelessness, lots of entertainment I semi- paid attention to and suicidality. I did try to go for walks or jogging when I could. But I had to go during the night or wear sunglasses and earplugs. Sometimes I was dry heaving from the dizziness.

Year 3 I was miserable but able to do some things, leave the house and such, but it still sucked ass.

You're one of the more extreme cases, thanks for sharing. Can't imagine how tough that was. When I came down with ME/CFS I had trouble doing much of anything, had I not had family I would have been done.

A little more than 4 months in and now all that's left is sometimes at night I have a tic to jerk my lower legs, that's going away. Also, still need seroquel but if I exert myself hard enough throughout the day it's not needed.

Occasionally the tinnitus comes back for a bit and then subsides, each time less and less and it's probably going to go away.

I've been making some plans to move out again soon, start a part time job and then either get back to my engineering studies or more likely after this ordeal I've been thinking of a complete switch into nursing. These kind of life plans seemed so far off I didn't even entertain such thoughts when going to the grocery store was an issue. Things have improved massively. Even from last December I've been feeling better and more stable. I'm still not well, but I can see these things in the horizon. Most days I'm enjoying life. I've met some wonderful new people online and there have been silver linings in this experience.

Good you got a move on all that stuff. I was in engineering related work and am switching to nursing. Nursing is a very good, stable, and respectful job to get into, my sister is a Nurse Practitioner. The birth population is getting low but lots of old people are coming around and you should be good for the rest of your life.

For the record, I don't think my problems were caused by MDMA. This would not happen with good a quality tested substance. It's the risk of taking things from strangers at a party, I don't know what mix of rat poison and nuclear waste I ingested but it wasn't pure MDMA.
I got my stuff off the deep web, so just a lot of some really REALLY good stuff to cook my brain (1.1-1.2 grams of high purity over 2 days).

It was probably hard to live with just 1 decision. I know dealers cut to get more out of their supply but why be so psychopathic to mix it with something so dangerous?!?!

Start figuring out the whole nursing trajectory and figuring out how to get in (get your prereqs done and what will help you get in). That way you can slowly crawl and be good to go when it starts. Good luck to you.
 

Dcoqo

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 9, 2019
Messages
54
Have any of you done coke during your LTC?

Last saturaday i did some with my friends, I know i shouldnt have, But i was drunk And i couldnt help it. I just did a couple of small lines though.

Ive been feeling like shit since then, and Its been five days. I had not taken any drugs in over a year, and i really thought coke wouldnt be as harmful as xtc.

Now Im going trough all this again, anxiety, light sensitivity, sadness, lack of appetite... I just hope i can bounce back and that i have not fucked up for good this time.
 

ZeroLuck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2017
Messages
363
Have any of you done coke during your LTC?

Last saturaday i did some with my friends, I know i shouldnt have, But i was drunk And i couldnt help it. I just did a couple of small lines though.

Ive been feeling like shit since then, and Its been five days. I had not taken any drugs in over a year, and i really thought coke wouldnt be as harmful as xtc.

Now Im going trough all this again, anxiety, light sensitivity, sadness, lack of appetite... I just hope i can bounce back and that i have not fucked up for good this time.

I did once or two times during these 4 years, also 1-2 times amphetamines and 1 time weed. None had adverse effects, but it shows we are all different so... it's unfortunately a Russian roulette.
 

ZeroLuck

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2017
Messages
363
I've changed magnesium citrate with Magnesium L Threonate... just fantastic supplement. Strongly recommend it to everyone, not a magical pill, but gosh this + liquid D3 buildup for 1-2 weeks is just fantastic. Throwing some complete b complex every now and then and it's even better. Bacopa buildup is mmm too~.


Found that accumulative supplements worked the best for me so far. :)
 

alienattack

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 5, 2021
Messages
11
I personally dont feel anything noticeable from L threonate, but I also like it very much because the description of what its doing to your brain reall lets u feel u are doing something good for you.
 

Samoz

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 6, 2019
Messages
92
It seems like evryone is getting better but me
I still suffering after 29 months some symotols got a little better some didnt especially the vivid dreams its killing me everynight im in a vivid dream i could be a nightmare it could be a bad souvenir but its very annoying still dont know what to do
Even benzo dont calm it down
 

Deep_Fried

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 17, 2020
Messages
10
Any help please
My sleep quality is vastly influenced by the supplment 5-htp. The body makes serotonin out of it, you know the stuff we are lacking. I tried to drop my supplements for some time and noticed the change rather quickly.
 

Samoz

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 6, 2019
Messages
92
My sleep quality is vastly influenced by the supplment 5-htp. The body makes serotonin out of it, you know the stuff we are lacking. I tried to drop my supplements for some time and noticed the change rather quickly.
I dont take any supplement
 

alienattack

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 5, 2021
Messages
11
i took loads of them....right now nothing...honestly, it makes absolutly no difference i think haha:D
 
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