MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 2)

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me2point0

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Mar 23, 2014
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I JUST started getting them pr0d1gy, it sucks. I don't know if its another ''come and go'' symptom I just hope it is. I just started going on 5k and 10k runs and get migraines a little after these. But I keep telling myself that it's my brain healing itself from the exercise(lol). Sounds retarded but when I run i'm actually worried about dying, I hope that I don't.
 

mygreenbic

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 18, 2011
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375
Location
Pittsburgh PA via heisenberg
Since this is a support thread and im having too dificult a time to find the right thread maybe someone can talk to me. I took too much of my bromo dragonfly and am having a really bad trip. Have been drinking a lot to get through it. Afraid Ive drank way too much and its making me sick but its the only thing keeping me grounded enough to control my mind.. just someone to talk to is all i want
 

taxflax

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 3, 2014
Messages
37
Since this is a support thread and im having too dificult a time to find the right thread maybe someone can talk to me. I took too much of my bromo dragonfly and am having a really bad trip. Have been drinking a lot to get through it. Afraid Ive drank way too much and its making me sick but its the only thing keeping me grounded enough to control my mind.. just someone to talk to is all i want
Try not to drink that much, it's not good for you. Do you have a friend you can stay with to take care of you and hold you company?
 

mygreenbic

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 18, 2011
Messages
375
Location
Pittsburgh PA via heisenberg
Try not to drink that much, it's not good for you. Do you have a friend you can stay with to take care of you and hold you company?
no. thats why im resorting to bluelight, thanks for the tip about drinking being bad, I totally agree mate... But sometimes stupid people like me get in to deep and alcohol feels like the only way out when you are on a psychedelic toxic chemical like bromo dragonfly. Ive reflected alot on this horrible night. The dark night of the soul... And I think I realized that it isnt the drugs causing me problems. Its me. There is something wrong with how I feel about myself if I would submit myself to this torture. I do it often and I dont know why. I come from a good family. I have friends. I dont know what it is.. Like i have a self destruct gene or something
 

BlueBull

Moderator: M&ED
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no. thats why im resorting to bluelight, thanks for the tip about drinking being bad, I totally agree mate... But sometimes stupid people like me get in to deep and alcohol feels like the only way out when you are on a psychedelic toxic chemical like bromo dragonfly. Ive reflected alot on this horrible night. The dark night of the soul... And I think I realized that it isnt the drugs causing me problems. Its me. There is something wrong with how I feel about myself if I would submit myself to this torture. I do it often and I dont know why. I come from a good family. I have friends. I dont know what it is.. Like i have a self destruct gene or something
Self-sabotage isn't that uncommon :) I even think that it can be valuable if you don't let it spiral out of control. It forces you to do something about it or at the very least keep it in mind in everything you do. Having a seemingly successful life doesn't mean there can't be something that's bothering you. I also think it's not because you can't immediately find an apparent reason for it that it's unexplainable or can't be helped, a self destruct gene as you say. If I were you I wouldn't look too hard for reasons, in my experience they are almost never found by logical thinking. Usually if you just go on, they're revealed further down the road, when suddenly you're doing better and you wonder what changed in your life, which is what was bothering you in the first place

Doing better now that the effects have faded away/are fading away? I've read a lot of reports on bromo dragonfly and I don't think I'll ever try it. Pretty nasty stuff apparantly

Saw the day the earth stood still again yesterday. A quote that might be relevant :D
You say we're on the brink of destruction and you're right. But it's only on the brink that people find the will to change. Only at the precipice do we evolve
 
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CloudIX

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 27, 2015
Messages
27
I have really no idea where to go or what to do. I dont want to come across a hypochondriac but my veins are just huge... when I'm sitting on a char if my put my legs beside me theres this ENORMOUS veins on the side of my calf that appears. It doesn't look healthy at all. All my body is like that.
haha, dude you have nothing to worry about. I am guessing you have a generally low bodyfat percentage. I literally have veins everywhere. Granted I am very into bodybuilding, many people can be naturally vascular. Another thing that can contribute to random vascularity is diet and water intake. When I consume little water throughout the day my veins are constantly popping. Same result for when I eat sugary foods or starchy carbs. Try focusing on drinking a gallon of water a day and watch your food intake and your bodies reaction to it
 

me2point0

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 23, 2014
Messages
216
haha, dude you have nothing to worry about. I am guessing you have a generally low bodyfat percentage. I literally have veins everywhere. Granted I am very into bodybuilding, many people can be naturally vascular. Another thing that can contribute to random vascularity is diet and water intake. When I consume little water throughout the day my veins are constantly popping. Same result for when I eat sugary foods or starchy carbs. Try focusing on drinking a gallon of water a day and watch your food intake and your bodies reaction to it
I'll try that. It just seems like they increased in size over time... it wasn't like that before.
 

pr0d1gy

Bluelighter
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
548
Location
NOT CANADA
I JUST started getting them pr0d1gy, it sucks. I don't know if its another ''come and go'' symptom I just hope it is. I just started going on 5k and 10k runs and get migraines a little after these. But I keep telling myself that it's my brain healing itself from the exercise(lol). Sounds retarded but when I run i'm actually worried about dying, I hope that I don't.
I don't think you need to worrying about dying mate. Migraines don't kill, but they sure as hell can make death seem a decent alternative. I also get mine after working out/running but I always do this in the evening and I get migraines around this time regardless of if I have ran or not. How long has this been going on for? Mine began to improve within about 3 weeks.

I'm not sure how long to wait before possibly giving MDMA or MDA another shot. Part of me wants to run a trial to determine possible causality. Having the stuff laying around also creates some temptation. I'm wondering how long I should wait before trying again. It's been 2 weeks since my last major migraine and 4 weeks since my last ingestion of MDA.
 

Deltronpedro

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 14, 2014
Messages
203
Hey guys, need your advice. Im going throug pretty bad times once again and I will seek some medical advice from a psychatrist on friday. I considered asking him for some SSRIs cause I want this whole shit to come to an end. Its been a year and I made progress. Im sportive, got a new job and learned my lesson. But most of the time Im really unhappy and sometimes anxious. I made a therapy and Im taking Valdoxan, but this seems to be not enough. Any advice what would be the best plan? SSRIs(wich would be the best?Zoloft)? Some other supplements? I found myself drinking far too often and too much the last few months cause I finally could drink and enjoy it most of the time without getting bad symptoms(it feels so good being able to drink with my friends again), but in the long run it fucks me up pretty hard Id say. Seems like I have to cut this, again. Even my girlfreind I still love has left me cause she couldnt stand the whole LTC set of problems and has got a new boyfriend. Ive lost too much and I dont want this shit anymore .There has to be the end of the tunnel but I just dont know how to get there...fucking frustrating
 

Brahhhh

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 8, 2015
Messages
67
Hey guys, need your advice. Im going throug pretty bad times once again and I will seek some medical advice from a psychatrist on friday. I considered asking him for some SSRIs cause I want this whole shit to come to an end. Its been a year and I made progress. Im sportive, got a new job and learned my lesson. But most of the time Im really unhappy and sometimes anxious. I made a therapy and Im taking Valdoxan, but this seems to be not enough. Any advice what would be the best plan? SSRIs(wich would be the best?Zoloft)? Some other supplements? I found myself drinking far too often and too much the last few months cause I finally could drink and enjoy it most of the time without getting bad symptoms(it feels so good being able to drink with my friends again), but in the long run it fucks me up pretty hard Id say. Seems like I have to cut this, again. Even my girlfreind I still love has left me cause she couldnt stand the whole LTC set of problems and has got a new boyfriend. Ive lost too much and I dont want this shit anymore .There has to be the end of the tunnel but I just dont know how to get there...fucking frustrating
Dude, ur despressed as FK, stop thinking so negative and ull do better

Oh and ur gf is shit if she left u, if she really loved u she'd stay with u (unless its doing her bad)
 

ShortTermExpert

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 20, 2015
Messages
54
Hey guys, need your advice. Im going throug pretty bad times once again and I will seek some medical advice from a psychatrist on friday. I considered asking him for some SSRIs cause I want this whole shit to come to an end. Its been a year and I made progress. Im sportive, got a new job and learned my lesson. But most of the time Im really unhappy and sometimes anxious. I made a therapy and Im taking Valdoxan, but this seems to be not enough. Any advice what would be the best plan? SSRIs(wich would be the best?Zoloft)? Some other supplements? I found myself drinking far too often and too much the last few months cause I finally could drink and enjoy it most of the time without getting bad symptoms(it feels so good being able to drink with my friends again), but in the long run it fucks me up pretty hard Id say. Seems like I have to cut this, again. Even my girlfreind I still love has left me cause she couldnt stand the whole LTC set of problems and has got a new boyfriend. Ive lost too much and I dont want this shit anymore .There has to be the end of the tunnel but I just dont know how to get there...fucking frustrating
What a bitch. Trust me man, you need a woman in your life who will stick with you through thick and thin. What's she gonna tell her new fella about her ex? "Oh I left him cause he was going through a bad time". Can imagine it hurts man and I've been through it, I know those feels all too well.

I'd cut out the alcohol completely man. Must feel good to be able to enjoy it again, but alcohol is one of the worst drugs out there. Google korsakoff's syndrome, that makes us LTCers look like super saiyans. I know personally that alcohol magnifies my symptoms.

1) good sleep
2) exercise
3) CBT
4) meditation

Dedicate as much time as possible to those 4.
 

F1n1shed

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 12, 2008
Messages
2,303
Location
Cali
This is the BEST advice i can give people currently recovering from a long term MDMA effects. STOP, do not keep reading these stories. STOP researching the topic and diagnosing your self. I swear to you i put my self through the worst hell for at least 6 months straight while recovering from ecstasy usage, multiple times. I was still smoking pot during all that time which made everything 10x worse especially anxiety. How ever i was too ignorant to think the pot was doing anything bad.

Anyways, go out side take a walk around the block every night. Exercise, force your self to go out with friends. Do NOT over analyze things, do not keep wondering if this will last for ever. The serotonin off balance will have your mind going all over the place trying to figure things out in panic. Just relax and live, let things happen. I promise you , you WILL recover. You may not reach 100% , where you were before MDMA. But i promise you will recover so much that you wouldn't notice the difference between 100% and how you are. Positive thoughts! -
 

Deltronpedro

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 14, 2014
Messages
203
Thanks guys, I appreciate this very much.
Ill keep pushing and the setback will deminish - at least I hope it will.
Ill get my hormones tested next week and will meet a psychatrist, just to see what he thinks about my situation.
SSRI or not..hmm:/
 

Strangestuff

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 26, 2014
Messages
124
Hey guys, need your advice. Im going throug pretty bad times once again and I will seek some medical advice from a psychatrist on friday. I considered asking him for some SSRIs cause I want this whole shit to come to an end. Its been a year and I made progress. Im sportive, got a new job and learned my lesson. But most of the time Im really unhappy and sometimes anxious. I made a therapy and Im taking Valdoxan, but this seems to be not enough. Any advice what would be the best plan? SSRIs(wich would be the best?Zoloft)? Some other supplements? I found myself drinking far too often and too much the last few months cause I finally could drink and enjoy it most of the time without getting bad symptoms(it feels so good being able to drink with my friends again), but in the long run it fucks me up pretty hard Id say. Seems like I have to cut this, again. Even my girlfreind I still love has left me cause she couldnt stand the whole LTC set of problems and has got a new boyfriend. Ive lost too much and I dont want this shit anymore .There has to be the end of the tunnel but I just dont know how to get there...fucking frustrating
Before going on meds make sure to check all the stuff ive suggested before and don't take "Oh its all normal" for an answer cause I guarantee you will be in the normal range for every single hormone pretty much (except possibly FSH). Its the subtleties in interpreting the data that count and for that I've made a separate thread earlier where people can post it.

Don't forget about supplements either! Adaptogens especially to nourish the HPA axis and restore function.
 

me2point0

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 23, 2014
Messages
216
Going to see the neurologist tomorrow. One of the best in Canada. I'm going for a new technologic anxiety reduction treatment or something. I dont even know if I should tell her about the one time I did mdma or whatever. I mean shes very qualified to help but she will probably tell my mom about it and I dont want it to happen. Any ideas on how to approach this? Tell her or just go on with the treatment? I have like 12 appointments.
 

Deltronpedro

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 14, 2014
Messages
203
Before going on meds make sure to check all the stuff ive suggested before and don't take "Oh its all normal" for an answer cause I guarantee you will be in the normal range for every single hormone pretty much (except possibly FSH). Its the subtleties in interpreting the data that count and for that I've made a separate thread earlier where people can post it.

Don't forget about supplements either! Adaptogens especially to nourish the HPA axis and restore function.
Tomorrow Im going to get it tested. What time is the best? Early morning?

@Me2point0: I'd tell her. In the worst case she will tell your mother and your mum will forgive you. I, too , did not made a secret of it and my family never blamed me. It feels good beeing always able to talk honest with them.
 

Vikingdancer

Bluelighter
Joined
May 21, 2013
Messages
58
@ me2point0 you did ecstasy once LOL. Like she would give you another treatment if you would tell her that. PLEASE. Normally if a person tries MDMA for one time he/she wouldn't have a hangover at all for sure. You are way to sensitive to this shit and so this has nothing to do with an LTC caused by (ab)using MDMA. Leave this forum and seek professional help. My god.
 

me2point0

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 23, 2014
Messages
216
I'm just wondering if there's a possibility somehow that she knows exactly what happened with me and sends me on the right path. It would be so nice. My parents talk about drugs like its something from outer space that no one ever does, let alone me. But i guess we'll never know if I dont ask at least..
 
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