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may go back on antidepressants, saying goodbye to mdma and shrooms will be hard :(

Flower Fairy

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Apr 29, 2020
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Lol don't suggest to them, it's so fucking addictive, I spend most of my money on it and then it stops working so you need tolerance breaks but yet I've just took the last of my money out the bank for a gram and waiting on a reply, but not sure he's about today

So yeah stay away from K if you can't control your mdma use you certainly wont be able to control K if you end up liking it
 

ageingpartyfiend

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Mar 5, 2011
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Would invite anyone and everyone to try a serious meditation regime as an anti-anxiety tool before diving into any meds at all.

"It wont' work" "I haven't got time" blah blah blah - reality is we just want a magic pill to take our anxiety away with no effort on our part. Yup, meds can work amazingly for a short amount of time, but come on, we are well aware of the terrible negative effects when use is ongoing. In the longterm, anti-anx meds (benzos. some anti d's) are ineffective at best, and they often make the situation much, much worse

If meditation is ineffective after, say, two months the next logical step for me would be trying a true psych microdose routine - cheap, very safe, often effective - what have you got to lose?

Take contrtol of your own life - don't hand it to big pharma without trying other avenues first
 

tazz20

Bluelighter
Joined
May 5, 2020
Messages
167
Lol don't suggest to them, it's so fucking addictive, I spend most of my money on it and then it stops working so you need tolerance breaks but yet I've just took the last of my money out the bank for a gram and waiting on a reply, but not sure he's about today

So yeah stay away from K if you can't control your mdma use you certainly wont be able to control K if you end up liking it
have no desire to roll again for a long time because I can see that while it feels good for 4 hours I don't necessarily feel great after. although if I get drunk I'll think to myself I really wanna pop one right now but then I stop myself. not sure if I would be like that with k but I read that k is really dangerous to combine while drunk. the most addictive thing I've done is nicotine but I only crave that while I drink. I know if I like something enough I'll probably want to do it again. never tried coke or the harder stuff but weed seems to be the thing I've depended most on. not sure if people who are self medicating with k by snorting or oral but I usually read it's more for depression? I know people have legal infusions.
 

tazz20

Bluelighter
Joined
May 5, 2020
Messages
167
Would invite anyone and everyone to try a serious meditation regime as an anti-anxiety tool before diving into any meds at all.

"It wont' work" "I haven't got time" blah blah blah - reality is we just want a magic pill to take our anxiety away with no effort on our part. Yup, meds can work amazingly for a short amount of time, but come on, we are well aware of the terrible negative effects when use is ongoing. In the longterm, anti-anx meds (benzos. some anti d's) are ineffective at best, and they often make the situation much, much worse

If meditation is ineffective after, say, two months the next logical step for me would be trying a true psych microdose routine - cheap, very safe, often effective - what have you got to lose?

Take contrtol of your own life - don't hand it to big pharma without trying other avenues first
I also admit to wanting instant relief. I went sober for a month dieted and did yoga but idk if that woulda been enough for me on it's own. was also experimenting with cbd products and 5htp supplements at the same time. I know dieting and exercise helps but idk if I'm convinced that stuff is enough on it's own. all that stuff DID help a bit though. I realize it isn't useless and yoga is a practice. I realize antidepressants technically aren't an instant fix either cuz they can take a few weeks to work. but holy shit, not being able to have instant relief of anxiety is a terrible feeling.
 

Flower Fairy

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Apr 29, 2020
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What antidepressants have you tried so far?

I've tried about 15 and other meds for anxiety too, like Propranolol and Busperone and a doctor once put me on Quitapine for my anxiety which is mad as its an antipsychotic lol

I've tried so many things, I've tried self meditation for so long now lol

After being addicted to benzos for years and Tramadol I thought fuck it let's just try an antidepressant and don't self medicate and see how it gos

It might take a while to find the right med that suits you but they so help so many people get out of a dark pit
 

tazz20

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Joined
May 5, 2020
Messages
167
What antidepressants have you tried so far?

I've tried about 15 and other meds for anxiety too, like Propranolol and Busperone and a doctor once put me on Quitapine for my anxiety which is mad as its an antipsychotic lol

I've tried so many things, I've tried self meditation for so long now lol

After being addicted to benzos for years and Tramadol I thought fuck it let's just try an antidepressant and don't self medicate and see how it gos

It might take a while to find the right med that suits you but they so help so many people get out of a dark pit
the last thing I was on was celexa but I'm convinced it messed up my desire to have sex and ability to have erections..
 

Flower Fairy

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the last thing I was on was celexa but I'm convinced it messed up my desire to have sex and ability to have erections

Definitely I was on that, it was the first one I went on, it helped my depression but I had no sex drive at all, so when I needed to go on an antidepressant again I said not Citalopram (celexa) there's plenty of others to try

I'm on mirtazapine and it's probably one of the only ones that doesn't fuck with libido etc
 

tazz20

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May 5, 2020
Messages
167
Definitely I was on that, it was the first one I went on, it helped my depression but I had no sex drive at all, so when I needed to go on an antidepressant again I said not Citalopram (celexa) there's plenty of others to try

I'm on mirtazapine and it's probably one of the only ones that doesn't fuck with libido etc
what are you taking that for right now if you don't mind me asking? the current psychiatrist I'm seeing is reccomending effexor which is an snri but I also read about sexual side effects. personally i could give up mdma and shrooms for awhile if it means trading it for a better sex life lol
 

tazz20

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May 5, 2020
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I'm at a rock bottom at this point. i wake up feeling dread every day. can't focus or function without worrying about everything. I realize neither meds or psyhs are a "cure" but I definitely need an extra aid. I'm 28 and live with my parents and really just don't know what to do with myself. I've only ever worked minimum wage jobs. I just need that extra enlightenment.
 

tazz20

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May 5, 2020
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167
Truer words have not been said, especially w/ anxiety IMO.
I have a therapist which I haven't spoken to in maybe 2 months but keep saying I'm going to make another appointment. just convinced I probably need an "extra aid" from a substance
 

geekgrl

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Sep 10, 2016
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North West UK
I played this game a few times, up and down on ADs because I want to be less depressed but then also want to feel the drugs. Eventually I've ended up preferring not being depressed, am now on Venlafaxine and it helps me a lot, decided I prefer that to MDMA but it was hard to give up. I bounced about meds vs drugs for about 10 years before I truly decided what was more important to me. You know what is best for your body, what you have to lose, just a game of pros and cons really.
 

Cj95

Greenlighter
Joined
Oct 18, 2020
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I'm at a rock bottom at this point. i wake up feeling dread every day. can't focus or function without worrying about everything. I realize neither meds or psyhs are a "cure" but I definitely need an extra aid. I'm 28 and live with my parents and really just don't know what to do with myself. I've only ever worked minimum wage jobs. I just need that extra enlightenment.
Try lcd and shrooms i had some amazing spiritual experianced that made me see the way the world we live in realy is antidepresant have been the biggest mistake of my life the withdrawals are horrendous I would allways say to anyone exercise psychedelics eat well and take nutrients u may be defficient in I have had spiritual experianced that made me feel nothing but love and happiness for months folowed by suicide and drug abuse deffo stay away from the meds people and invest in urself and use psychelics to help enlighten you I'm only 25 and antidepresants have ruined my life
 

tazz20

Bluelighter
Joined
May 5, 2020
Messages
167
Try lcd and shrooms i had some amazing spiritual experianced that made me see the way the world we live in realy is antidepresant have been the biggest mistake of my life the withdrawals are horrendous I would allways say to anyone exercise psychedelics eat well and take nutrients u may be defficient in I have had spiritual experianced that made me feel nothing but love and happiness for months folowed by suicide and drug abuse deffo stay away from the meds people and invest in urself and use psychelics to help enlighten you I'm only 25 and antidepresants have ruined my life
tried lsd while on effexor which is what I'm not now and barely felt anything. overall I guess I feel "less shitty" but that one mild shroom trip was the first time I actually felt like myself this whole quarantine so now I'm wondering if microdosing would actually be a tool for me
 

tazz20

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Joined
May 5, 2020
Messages
167
I played this game a few times, up and down on ADs because I want to be less depressed but then also want to feel the drugs. Eventually I've ended up preferring not being depressed, am now on Venlafaxine and it helps me a lot, decided I prefer that to MDMA but it was hard to give up. I bounced about meds vs drugs for about 10 years before I truly decided what was more important to me. You know what is best for your body, what you have to lose, just a game of pros and cons really.
yea that's what I'm on now, 150mg. I think physically and mentally I'm a bit more relaxed. I definitely do not feel as great as I did when I took 1.88g of shrooms, and I still wish I felt better than this but I realize that those drugs make you happier than normal anyway. but something about it also felt like it brought back an old happiness that I used to feel and I really miss it :/ I also of course take diet and exercise into consideration but this anxiety really holds me back sometimes.
 

hydroazuanacaine

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May 17, 2007
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it sounds like you know a lot about your situation and the decisions youre facing. that doesnt make deciding any less shitty. especially because you have to decide again and again.

months ago i went back on an ssri (bye serotonin hallucinogens, which personally ive already gotten what i can from and dont care about) and lamotrigine (bye dissos, which i had recently discovered are way deeper than k bumps at a party and am devastated by the loss of ability to experiment with), and i dont even think theyre working. in moments of logic i know both options are garbage, but that psych medication management paired with therapy is a better swing at attacking serious mental illness versus self-medicating to facilitate interpersonal work. both fucking suck.

as i hope for myself, i hope you find some relief, beauty, love, grace in whatever paths you choose and are able to remain focused on positive goals as things are falling apart.
 
Last edited:

AlphaMethylPhenyl

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For anxiety, mindfulness meditation has a lot to say for itself.

Effexor is a great AD!

On Seroquel, it's an antipsychotic, but quite a weak one when it comes to comparisons, even at high doses. That and other like Abilify are routinely sued for bipolar disorder. They should be tolerable after a little while.

SSRIs and the like aren't perfect, but they do some crucial things for people.
 
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