Kallisti23
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2015
- Messages
- 186
Report 6/2 2020
I haven’t had a proper trip in about a year (only micro / mini doses) and the time felt ripe to delve back in. I have been struggling on and off with opiate / kratom addiction for several years and have just quit again after a relapse of a two or three of months. I managed to avoid any serious withdrawal through tapering down slowly, switching from Codeine to Kratom Leaf to Stem and Vein and have been completely clean for three days now, bar one or two lope for unpleasant gastric issues. With it being a new decade, and the beginning of the new university semester, I feel that I need to reset my brain to a more positive mode. I don’t have a specific goal for this trip other than trying to rediscover the wonder and beauty in life; to witness the inherent joy that exists without the aid of the forced contentment of opiates.
08.10am (T+0.00): Take 1.5 Simpsons tabs (advertised as 140ug each but my personal estimate is 120 - 150ug for the two in total). I also take roughly 800mg Phenibut FAA sublingually as I am still feeling some effects of opioid withdrawal and I believe even a small dose like this may help cover up some of those lingering negative effects.
(T+1.00): The first signs are starting to come on. There is a shift in the atmosphere, my body is beginning to hum with new sensations and my thought is starting to loosen. I lie in bed and listen to my mum and her boyfriend speak briefly while getting ready to leave for work. It strikes me that communication is about acknowledgment. We communicate largely in order to have our being recognised by another being; we do this by speaking to another, showing them that we acknowledge their existence in the hope that they will acknowledge ours. The phatic function of speech is essential and the information often inconsequential.
(T+2.00) It is coming up to election time here and I got embroiled in a political discussion with my girlfriend regarding her accountant brothers defence of the leading political party’s economic model (it’s good for business, so it’s good for the country!). My cognitive abilities don’t seem to have been impaired to any substantial degree so far. My mind was jumping from concept to concept faster than usual and the connections where coming a bit easier, but it was all very coherent. The political discourse detracted from my experience of the trip as it became the focal point of my mind.
I always find LSD to be pretty underwhelming from a visual perspective, for me it is in its psychological capacity that its true beauty shines.
Visually; I have some mild tracers, colours are more vivid and there is a slightly 3D shimmering quality to images. Textures are more apparent and heightened pattered recognition is definitely present. Everything has that acid sheen to it.
It’s a beautiful day for a trip. It is a fresh February morning, the sun is shining with that clear white light of early spring, touches of warmth beginning to show in the renewed green vibrancy of leaves. Life begins to slowly awaken, flies yet again dance around the dewy morning grass, ephemeral. Birds sit on barren branches, buds showing promise on the woody vestibules reaching towards the clear sky. But the chill of winter is still in the air- old father death breathing rebirth into the spring breeze.
(T+2.25) I hope I wasn’t coming on too ideologically with my girlfriend when talking about politics earlier on. I did stress the point that I am ideological and that so is her brother or anyone else trying to influence her, to try and stress the ideology behind these arguments.
But, is it really possible to talk about politics without getting ideological? Any attempt to political objectivity is ideological, because the very premise of politics is ideology. Proclaiming to be unideological and political is a contradiction in terms. This logical fallacy is only possible to maintain on the premise that there is some sort of epistemological political truth ie. One omnipotent ur-ideology that is true way of living. Which is by no stretch a highly charged ideological standpoint.
(T+2.45) Synchronicity or not? The postman just arrived with a book on Politics for my girlfriend and a copy of Hakim Bey’s T.A.Z for another friend. Dear god, am I becoming an ideologue?
(Approx. T+4.00) I decided to go out for a walk down to the beach.
Looking out at the flowing forms and mounds made in the sand from the shifting tide made me think about how the landscape is in constant flux and chaos. But chaos produces pattern and order, just like the beautiful forms left in the sand; order and pattern does exist but it is transient and never fixed.
I stopped at a few quiet spots along the way to smoke pipes of beautiful Ketama hashish and absorb the view.
Walking by the rocks on the beach is better than any art exhibition. Each rock is so masterful in its artistry. The complexity of pattern, colour, texture is overwhelmingly exquisite. The beauty of the assemblage of a multitude of archaic minerals forged together over aeons to form these rocks is astounding to me. I catch myself getting very engrossed in the various rocks and their layers and textures, I have to watch myself every now and then so as to not appear too outside of the realms of consensus behaviour…
The colours are vibrant lilac - metallic shimmering greens - shades of rust and orange - amazing turquoise and electric yellow lichen - cut with veins of quartz crystal.
The dance of life and decay create art.
(T+5.30): The trip has primarily been expansive, clear and calm. The headspace is very lucid but with a tendency towards poetics and complexity.
(T+5.50): It’s difficult to describe how the visuals manifest. There is no patterning, no obvious halo-ing or such. Everything just takes on a form of heightened beauty and significance; in what feels like a true sense, the image does not appear distorted - just as it is. The world isn’t altered in any way, only my perception of it.
(T+7.30): The swirling tones of Terry Riley’s Shri Camel play in the background and I decide to weigh up 23mg of changa (60% DMT) …
A feeling of full body bliss and beatific euphoria - of beingness - a warm euphoria of the soul. Home.
I smoked the remaining 57mg of my stash of changa hoping that the LSD would help push me to break through. The swirling geometric patterning became overwhelming along with the physical rush. I fell back and succumbed to it. There was a feeling of a force, a pull, and the immersive geometry was astounding, but it was disjointed and ultimately devoid of any intelligible meaning. In the end it fell short of the breakthrough I was looking for and was instead just a powerful sub-breakthrough experience. I missed the breakthrough this time and was left at the precipice, but my trust in lady DMT has been restored and I will reach for that entrance next time. It has added a definite lingering extra layer of psychedelia. The headspace and visual residue are calm and pleasant.
The rest of the evening I just chilled out, read, watched a bit of TV and smoked hash.
Overall it was a very pleasant, clear and gentle trip; I look forward to the next experience.
The Afterglow: over the following days I was left with a sense of heightened mental clarity and complexity of thinking. Like I had consumed nutrients for the brain.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_lsd
substancecode_lysergamides
substancecode_changa
substancecode_dmt
substancecode_maois
substancecode_tryptamines
substancecode_phenibut
substancecode_gabapentinoids
substancecode_gabaergics
_combo_
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
roacode_oral
roacode_sublingual
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
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