Long time lurker

[TheKidd]

That is amazing. A two-bedroom apartment where I live you'd expect to pay 4-5x that amount. I don't live in Beverly Hills or Santa Monica either but in a solidly working-class neighborhood mostly of one story single family homes and big apartment buildings on the larger Streets.

Yeah that’s the one thing I’m rather lucky about down here, although it’s not the nicest of places, it’s also by no means bad, it’s not like the place has mold or is falling apart like you’d expect when you hear those prices. Where I moved from you’d be paying a minimum of $750ish for a 2 bedroom place, and you’d be in a bad area, and in a place that’s in bad shape.

That's really nice to hear that you're a father I never would have guessed it.

My default is picturing new bluelighters as 17 yrs. old

And I’m 26, soon to be 27. Sadly my daughter lives back up north with her mother so I don’t get to see her often as I’d really like to, but at least since I’ve been down here I’ve been able to stay clean so I’m actually reliable, and consistent with her which is better then being inconsistently in her life, and only helping sometimes. I used to boost to support my habit for the most part so I always had clothes, toys, and stuff like that for her, but there’s A LOT more to raising a kid then just bringing her clothes, and toys, and seeing her a few times a week. Even though I see her less the time has MUCH more meaning since I’ve gotten clean.

 

[TheKidd]

$600/month says everything. More than you spend on your housing. Probably more than you spend on food.

Yeah that’s honestly close to what I spend on housing and food in a month COMBINED, the cost of methadone forces me to eat a lot of cheaper things to make up for the money I spend at the clinic.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Yeah that’s the one thing I’m rather lucky about down here, although it’s not the nicest of places, it’s also by no means bad, it’s not like the place has mold or is falling apart like you’d expect when you hear those prices. Where I moved from you’d be paying a minimum of $750ish for a 2 bedroom place, and you’d be in a bad area, and in a place that’s in bad shape.


And I’m 26, soon to be 27. Sadly my daughter lives back up north with her mother so I don’t get to see her often as I’d really like to, but at least since I’ve been down here I’ve been able to stay clean so I’m actually reliable, and consistent with her which is better then being inconsistently in her life, and only helping sometimes. I used to boost to support my habit for the most part so I always had clothes, toys, and stuff like that for her, but there’s A LOT more to raising a kid then just bringing her clothes, and toys, and seeing her a few times a week. Even though I see her less the time has MUCH more meaning since I’ve gotten clean.

That's the ticket. Quality, not quantity. Good for you. You will get lots of support on here.

 

[darvocet21]

Yeah that’s the one thing I’m rather lucky about down here, although it’s not the nicest of places, it’s also by no means bad, it’s not like the place has mold or is falling apart like you’d expect when you hear those prices. Where I moved from you’d be paying a minimum of $750ish for a 2 bedroom place, and you’d be in a bad area, and in a place that’s in bad shape.


And I’m 26, soon to be 27. Sadly my daughter lives back up north with her mother so I don’t get to see her often as I’d really like to, but at least since I’ve been down here I’ve been able to stay clean so I’m actually reliable, and consistent with her which is better then being inconsistently in her life, and only helping sometimes. I used to boost to support my habit for the most part so I always had clothes, toys, and stuff like that for her, but there’s A LOT more to raising a kid then just bringing her clothes, and toys, and seeing her a few times a week. Even though I see her less the time has MUCH more meaning since I’ve gotten clean.

I believe you. I can't imagine how many fathers say it but don't mean it.

Yeah plz stay with us for a bit as this place has help heal many but many have passed as well.

❇

I just dont trust social media or anything else for that matter.... everything is supect and must be analyzed

✔

Have some fun and if nothing else spending time here can put off some urges in my experience.

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

I’m from Wisconsin but I moved to Missouri to help myself get clean,

Hey, please understand that if I do not reply or respond it has shit going that is going around me. i got headphones on and can foucus for a se.
Sorry about posting that bs about benz it was meant for somewhere else so i trashed it. my bad
Has moving ever really done anything but keepin a mf clean for 6 months to a year if ya tryin? lol it aint designed in our favor.
theres a lot to get caught up on
1

edited

 

[TheKidd]

Moving is not the end all be all for getting clean by any means, like I’ve said in earlier posts I know I could easily go find something if I REALLY wanted to, hell I’m not to far away from 2 major cities that I’m sure I could score at very quickly if I wanted to even. But the other day when I did feel the need to go use and went to look for some random person begging outside Walmart I could ask to cop for me or something like that I had thought things through and changed my mind about using.

 

[deficiT]

Good to hear from you, and welcome to Bluelight!

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

I had thought things through and changed my mind about using.

Promising, in my opinion and experience. How did ya sleep that night?
Sorry i posted that i had to catch up wasnt just tryin to jump in (like i did lol ).
It fuckin suck when ya tryin to cop been in some tight spots i bet. shit... what wont cant we do?
evry time i opted for cat food over that oxy onda corner i slept better. just sayin. there was a sacrifice in many ways but not the place or time it seems.
This should been posted 5 mins ago but laptop died had to plug it in. mf use to last 12 hrs easy now luck i thinh at 3 1/2 - 4 hrs not sure and just put win 10 on it (grrrrrr) so glad it was still here (previous text)... think that is in the BL softare, though... not sure as it doesnt do it on other sights.

 

[TheKidd]

Promising, in my opinion and experience. How did ya sleep that night?

I slept decent actually I know usually every time I relapse after a decent sobriety break I usually feel like shit and go on one because of it, and my feelings about myself make shit worse 100% of the time.

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

I slept decent actually

In my experiences the last few years I notice I sleep better. Good sleep is hard to come by these days.
Pain (I am learning) and sacrifice for something "bigger" or "better" or "greater" can help with recovery... if that one is about. I have never "recovered" 100% from anything id imagine. There's a time for everything but it aint always the time is kinda how I look at it.
Kinda found a balance of sorts that may be sustainable. Only time will tell ut have no ties to mariage and have never had a child so I can only go so far. Benn wi SO for ~26 yrs now, though.
I gotta get the hell outta here un drug related.
ttyl

 

[Ryan2246]

Howdy