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Blog Kicking Kratom Once and For All!!!

KratomDemon

Bluelighter
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Jul 17, 2014
Messages
246
Stay strong KratomDemon, i feel that urge to my core, but the problems that can come about with the woman you love is never worth it. The worst feeling is losing trust that you just gained back, so i hope you stay strong and get through these next few days clean and free from the true demon of kratom.
Thanks - unfortunately the idea is still playing around in my head - especially as work and life get more stressful ahead of the upcoming holiday...
 

Tinker55

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 2, 2015
Messages
767
Going behind you wife's back is a short road to a bad situation when-not if-she finds out. Do you really want to risk this?

Distract yourself-shut down the computer and take your child to a movie. Or a pizza place. Read something you're interested in. Work out. Anything to stop that addict voice playing on loop.
 

Erikmen

Bluelight Crew
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May 3, 2014
Messages
20,805
^ My thoughts exactly. Women don't forgive these escapes easily, besides I believe it's a lot much to risk for.
 

KratomDemon

Bluelighter
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Jul 17, 2014
Messages
246
I know it's a bad idea. It is somehow permeating my entire brain now for some reason. Last night I dreamed about taking some unknown pain meds from somebody's place and downing them all, not even knowing what they were.

Woke up feeling down and depressed and in a general blah mood. Wife has been down the last couple days as well which doesn't help matters.

Hoping to pull through this next week somehow and remain upbeat and positive
 

Erikmen

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Cravings comes and goes but as I usually say the craving itself does not last that long. So you just take few hours at at time.
Get busy. Write about something. Exercise. Whatever suits you.
Good luck!
Erik
 

KratomDemon

Bluelighter
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Jul 17, 2014
Messages
246
Day 58

Well I did it - I have 50 Bali Kratom capsules on their way to me. 12 dollars with shipping.

I'm kind of angry as I have mulled this over - not because I ordered them but because of my inability to maintain self control with a substance. I can drink once MAYBE twice a week - 1 to 3 beers at a shot and stop. No problem. Used to binge drink a lot when younger but realized how bad it was for me.

With kratom I never got that "I'm hurting myself vibe". I know now that you most certainly can fuck your life up if you abuse them. This upcoming weekend will be interesting. Maybe I won't take any and hold onto them, maybe I throw them away. Maybe I take a small dose and then swallow all the rest over the course of the day.

I would say I am scared of relapsing into an uncontrollable kratom addiction but I can say with 99% certainly I won't let that happen. Why not 100%? Because addiction. I will keep updates coming as my headspace changes over the next several days.
 

Tinker55

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 2, 2015
Messages
767
I know you may decide it's too late but THROW THEM DOWN THE SINK. Or toilet. It's nnot a question of if you are going to abuse them. For you, as you have told us, use is abuse. And every addict in the world has said they won't let addiction happen.

You're an adult, you can make your own decisions. But relapsing isn't a good one.
 

Erikmen

Bluelight Crew
Joined
May 3, 2014
Messages
20,805
Day 58

Well I did it - I have 50 Bali Kratom capsules on their way to me. 12 dollars with shipping.

I'm kind of angry as I have mulled this over - not because I ordered them but because of my inability to maintain self control with a substance. I can drink once MAYBE twice a week - 1 to 3 beers at a shot and stop. No problem. Used to binge drink a lot when younger but realized how bad it was for me.

With kratom I never got that "I'm hurting myself vibe". I know now that you most certainly can fuck your life up if you abuse them. This upcoming weekend will be interesting. Maybe I won't take any and hold onto them, maybe I throw them away. Maybe I take a small dose and then swallow all the rest over the course of the day.

I would say I am scared of relapsing into an uncontrollable kratom addiction but I can say with 99% certainly I won't let that happen. Why not 100%? Because addiction. I will keep updates coming as my headspace changes over the next several days.
Drinking will never combine with sobriety man! Of course this is from my experience. I don't even like alcohol. I'd drink a couple of beers but would prefer coca-cola. But it puts in danger all you efforts as it decreases your own censorship.

Consider getting help from NA, even if you don't have a drinking problem. The meetings can be very good and productive for you. Rewarding.

Know the triggers that makes you crave. Deal with it. Don't make this harder than it is alredy.
 

KratomDemon

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 17, 2014
Messages
246
Drinking doesn't hold the power over me like when I was younger - if flies in the face of my goals as a bodybuilder. I'm not worried about drinking - even when I have a few beers, it doesn't make me crave other substances.

On that note - Day 59. Wife was sick with her first ever migraine yesterday and was up all the previous not in severe pain and vomiting. Took care of her and our son and managed to get a full day of work in. Passed out at 9 PM :)

Today is shaping up much better - wife is feeling better and it's supposed to be near 60 degrees today. Ready for work to be done and to usher in the weekend
 

Erikmen

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Lots of people says they don't have problems with drinking.

I've heard that before. ;)
 

KratomDemon

Bluelighter
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Jul 17, 2014
Messages
246
Lots of people says they don't have problems with drinking.

I've heard that before. ;)
I'd agree that if one gets physically "drunk" and says they don't have a problem - then that is suspect.

Drinking 2 or 3 beers over the course of an evening a few times a month hardly constitutes a problem however.
 

Erikmen

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Of course not.

People drink occasionally on weekends, right.
 
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KratomDemon

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 17, 2014
Messages
246
To each their own I suppose - matters not really what one partakes in so long as it doesn't negatively impact your life.

I suppose if I was single and without kids or morning responsibility - getting wasted on the weekends would still happen, as I see it with many of my friends who are still single.

That being said - happy weekend everyone. 2 more weeks until Xmas!
 
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