• Health & Recovery

    ❤️ Welcome Guest ❤️

    Forum Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP) Listings
  • H&R Moderators: Captain.Heroin | cj | Stargazer | tathra

Recovery Kicking Again (Single Suboxone Strip Challenge)

Phil.McKeer

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
906
Location
Scumdoggia
I'm going to document this not only to keep a record of what I'm doing, but also for the benefit of anyone in my position. It will also help keep me accountable.

Background:
I used H (tar, smoked) for almost 2 years. Early 2016 I did a quick subutex taper and stayed on at 0.25mg/day for several months. I came off around November and had been abstinent from all opioids until early last month (February). I have a messed up lower back (herniated disc @ L5). The pain is part of who I am and I've come to terms with it, but sometimes it jumps from it's usual background 2/10 to a constant 5/10 with spikes up to 7/10. I don't know why this happens but it comes and goes. When it does come, it sucks. It interferes with every physical movement painfully.

I was stoked with the ACA because I got decent insurance at a price much lower than what I used to pay when I was younger and healthier. Imagine my disappointment when my doctor refused to treat my pain with actual pain meds and would only give me NSAIDs. Fuck you, DEA. The intransigence of Uncle Sam to craft effective drug policy has pushed me to the street. Even the subutex I used last year to kick had to be sourced from the black market and my detox had to be a private at-home one. Fucks sakes...the fact that a small supply of even 5mg hydrocodones or muscle relaxants would have kept me off the streets is what makes this such a tragic comedy.

Anyways, I've been using around 1/4g of low quality tar every day for the last month or so, with numerous skip days in between. I estimate I was ingesting around 20-50mg of diacetylmorphine/n-MAM per day based on the quality of the tar and the BA of inhalation.

For this mission, I have only a single suboxone strip (8mg/2mg), some gabapentin, cannabis (smoked & oral) and OTC meds. It is a light inventory, but I nevertheless feel pretty good about this.

Day 1:
I have waited 36 hours since my last dose of H. For the last 14 hours or so I've been staving off the gamut of w/d symptoms: runny nose, watery eyes, sneezing fits, goosebumps, hot/cold weirdness, akathisia, RLS, bone pain, etc. I've taken 300mg gabapentin three times for a total of 900mgs in the last 18 hours (one dose every 6 hours or so). I've also taken 100mg diphenhydramine twice for a total of 200mg in the last 18 hours. I have of course been smoking bowls the entire time and ingested about 100mg THC orally twice in the last 12 hours.

It's time to take the bupe. The manufacturer claims that strips must be taken whole and that the medication is not distributed evenly. I say that's bullshit. People should rarely stick a whole 8mg bupe under their tongue at once; the amount people are prescribed is ludicrous, and I can taste the fucking drugs very distinctly in even a tiny 0.5mg piece of strip. I firmly believe that 8mg bupe would make a horse nod for a whole day and night. Granted, if you've been using a large amount of H frequently for a long time, you may need even more than 8mg during induction (the first dose), but you can drop the size of the dose very quickly from there.

Anyways, I cut my strip in halves until I have one big 4mg square, a 2mg piece, a 1mg piece, and two small 0.5mg pieces. I rinse my mouth out with mouthwash and take a 0.5mg piece and wait 20 minutes. I take the other 0.5mg piece and wait a little longer, this time around 40 minutes. I am introducing the bupe slowly so it doesn't get into an altercation with any H that hasn't left the party yet. I notice that I feel a little better. I take a 1mg piece and go have dinner at my folks' place. I am not exhibiting any obvious signs of withdrawal except for what looks like a mild cold and slightly dilated pupils.

During dinner I notice that the runny nose has subsided which prompts me to check for any other w/d symptoms, finding none other than a mild general akathisia, slight pain in my legs and pronounced background bodily pains (like the back). All the other symptoms are gone.

This is where I'm at now, typing this up at 10pm back at home. It's been about 4 hours since I took the last dose of bupe and I am feeling pretty good about this, having taken 2mg total for induction. I feel like I might even get some sleep tonight. I'm listening to music and actually feeling it without having the experience blunted by an opioid. I am wary of being overenthusiastic, at the same time. There is always a chance I don't sleep at all tonight and the symptoms haven't fully hit yet, but I'd be ok with that if it turns out to be the case.

By the way, my back is feeling a lot better. I'm really dumbfounded on how it can jump around from such low pain levels to such high ones and then go back down so abruptly, especially not being able to pinpoint a specific event having caused it, but hey, why complain, amirite? By the way, I am 32/m, 5'8" and 165lbs; in pretty good physical condition.

I'll update this later. Thanks for reading.
 
Last edited:

Phil.McKeer

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
906
Location
Scumdoggia
Thanks Simco!

It's day 2 today. For anyone wondering, I fell asleep around 2am and was stirred awake around 5:30 this morning. I slept a few hours.

I feel generally ok right now. The only symptoms I'm experiencing are a mildly runny nose, a medium akathisia, bone pain, and chills/hot and cold weirdness.

I will be taking 1mg suboxone in a few hours. That will by my only dose for today.

Edit: I have some mirtazapine. Will this be useful to me in any way? If so, how should I take it?
 

Phil.McKeer

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
906
Location
Scumdoggia
Day 3 today. Last night I fell asleep around 1am and woke up promptly at 5:30.

That aside, I'm not experiencing much difficulty on this kick. I took another 1mg of suboxone just a little while ago, but to be honest, I probably could have gone without it.

When I awoke this morning it was cold and it took a little while to adjust to the temperature (with all the chills and goosebumps/temperature misregulation), but aside from that I'm not experiencing the same w/d symptoms I've had previously.

I hate to look a gift horse in the mouth, but at the same time I'm kind of perplexed on how this can be so easy. Previous rattles were downright withering. This is a walk in the park.
 

phoeski

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 5, 2012
Messages
125
Location
Burlington
I'm happy it's going so well for you. I tried to switch to Subutex today and out myself in terrible p.w. I almost scared to try again. I waited 20 hours but in all honesty I wasn't that sick yet. I'm guessing I should wait more like 36. If anyone can point me in the direction of any advice it would be greatly appreciated. I do not post here often so I'll apologize in advance.
 

SWIM Had A Dream

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 22, 2013
Messages
198
Location
Bardo
We are in the same boat (smoked BTH habit, low dose bupe to get clean) I am prescribed mirtazapine and have a huge bottle. I stopped taking it when I was on dope because I didn't want to mix downers and die, but have started taking it again now that I'm in recovery.

Mirtazipine's real value (for me) is that I can take it at night and not crave other illicit downers. 30mg knocks me out and has an antidepressant afterglow if taken regularly for a couple weeks. I can't think of a better substance to help with opiate w/d. Gabapentin and Lyrica are godsends as well, they take away the w/d pains almost completely. I'm currently on day 6 no heroin and never thought I could make it this long. For me also, somehow, this kick was a walk in the park compared to the pain that I am due. I took a full 8mg induction dose of suboxone and then didn't touch it for 4 days. Have taken some yesterday and again today when I was craving heroin. I think its healthy to take sub instead of letting the cravings build to the point where I quit wanting to be clean.
 
Last edited:

Phil.McKeer

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
906
Location
Scumdoggia
phoeski - that sucks. Yeah, you have to stick it out as long as possible. The first time I did it I didn't wait long enough either and that was bad enough for me to never want to risk it again. Hope you're feeling better by now.

SWIM - thanks for that info I really appreciate it. I'll try 15mg tonight and see if it helps me get some sleep.
 

Phil.McKeer

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
906
Location
Scumdoggia
Alright so Saturday (yesterday) I tried taking no sub. It's a bit of a psych-out but once you get out of the house and get busy you forget all about it. I went to the beach with friends, and though it seemed promisingly sunny at first, it went from 80 to 60 really quick and I ended up freezing my ass off. It was fun though and I wasn't worried about anything.

I haven't gotten better than 4-sh hours of sleep each night but all that does is make me more productive the next day. I have a bunch of shit to catch up on (like "getting my shit together") so the extra hours are welcome.

No subs today either. Definitely really chilly and sneezy but no other major symptoms. I'm really quite stoked.

I'm pretty sure the ease with which I've gone through this "kick" (it's not fair to call it that because I only had a little RLS only at the beginning) has been due to the low quality of the gear.
 

Phil.McKeer

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
906
Location
Scumdoggia
Thanks :)

Got a jump on today, getting some office work done then gotta go to work. No subs. All is good except for the things that aren't, and those can suck it.

Edit: I also got a good amount of sleep and was a little sluggish getting up, probably due to the mirtazapine. I need to read up more on it.
 
Last edited:

SWIM Had A Dream

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 22, 2013
Messages
198
Location
Bardo
For me, mirtaz leaves me clear headed when I wake up...I was only groggy the 1st day after I took it. Alprazolam leaves me groggy for 12 hrs after I take it (tolerance naive)
 

Phil.McKeer

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
906
Location
Scumdoggia
I've been taking 0.5mg/day the last few days to drive away chills and depression since I've been busy with work and don't want to be distracted.

Otherwise, this is over. I'm back where I was before my back got all fucky with me. I'll stop taking the 0.5mg tomorrow (took one already today and am cruising out the pad to be part of society) but then I will stop and just deal with any symptoms with non-opioids.

Thanks for reading y'all. Simco, I'll let you know about mirtazapine in the coming days when I have more substantial information.
 

Phil.McKeer

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
906
Location
Scumdoggia
Sup man. Not bad. Mornings are shite because I can't get myself to control the shivers and chills, but once I take a hot shower and get ready and out, it disappears. Other than that, its been what some call "way chills, brah".

No opioids at all for the last week almost. The back-monkey gets bright ideas once in a while but I stuff his ass back down into his cage. Don't have the time or the money anyways.

Edit: The morning coldness has also led me to rediscover my love for tea.
 

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
84,600
Location
Looking-Glass Land
Nice work Phil! I hope you feel like you are accomplishing something here, because you certainly are! In terms of the chills, have you ever tried using clonidine in small dosages at night? That might help you deal with the chills in the morning, though you sound like you are handling things really well regardless.

Have you noticed is some light physical or aerobic activity helps with the chills in the morning? Like some stretching or yoga, or a brisk walk first thing? Nothing too intense, just something to get the blood pumping.

If you do try using clonidine, be careful how much you take and how you use it given how it affects blood pressure.

Keep up the great work! BTW, what is your favorite tea you've rediscovered recently?
 

Phil.McKeer

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
906
Location
Scumdoggia
Thanks TPD! YES exercise really does help switch from helplessly shivering to getting into gear. It takes me a sec to gather the gall to start though since I'm often waking up at 6 or earlier.

I enjoy any tea but prefer a dark breakfast tea most. I also found this one dark citrusy tea whose name escapes me atm.
 

Phil.McKeer

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
906
Location
Scumdoggia
I'm on mobile and editing erases the post so pardon the bump.

Regarding clonidine, i can get loads. 0.5mg dosed once at night you think, TPD?
 

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
84,600
Location
Looking-Glass Land
That's a reasonably high dose. Most people generally take 0.1mg or 0.2mg, but I have taken more before. I'd suggest trying 0.2mg out first before you try more. And yes, at night for sure.

If using the mobile site on your phone it too much of a PITA (I am loath to use the mobile site myself), you can always use this link to access the full site on your mobile's browser: http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forum.php?styleid=51
 

Phil.McKeer

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
906
Location
Scumdoggia
Oh snap sorry the pills are 0.1mg, my mistake. I meant to say 0.1mg at night. Ok cool.

Thanks for that link. Yeah I hate losing a post because I edited it on my phone and forgot about the delete glitch.
 
Top