Relapse Just relapsed in sober living....and still here!

[ChivaKing86]

What’s up everyone!

Little background on me: I’ve been using various drugs for almost 20 years, like most people, I started with weed and alcohol, and eventually made it to harder, more debilitating drugs like IV meth and heroin. I was sober for 8 months recently and relapsed while in sober living just a week ago. 8 months ago I went to inpatient rehab in Boulder, Colorado, after doing a gram of heroin every single day for over a year 1/2, with little to no veins left. Well, about a week ago me and another buddy in sober living decided it’d be a good idea to get some H and use right after our UAs. My buddy got caught, he had to UA just 2 days after the last one, and had to go back to inpatient, while I slipped by and am still using 1-2x per week after my UAs. So needless to say, maintaining sobriety is insanely tough for me, especially with IV heroin. I gotta find alternatives, but to no avail.

I just wanted to say hello and introduce myself. Maybe we can make this thread about what you do to maintain sobriety, actually enjoy it and find happiness. I’ll get a few months and make solid progress, start thinking about the fact that there isn’t any permanent damage and very little negative consequences, start to miss it, and forget what it’s like, then start the viscous cycle all over again. What’s it gonna take to achieve long term sobriety?

Anything I should do as a new member? Advice or recommendations? Thanks for taking the time to read! Cheers!

 

[cj]

Welcome! I'm in sober living too. It's a fucking struggle. If I figure out how to stay sober I'll let you know. Lol

 

[ChivaKing86]

Thanks! Where you at? Yeah it is. Guess it’s just gonna take more relapses and/or worse consequences for me to finally want to get sober long term.

 

[cj]

I'm in Minneapolis. Yeah I'm not a big fan of the artificial consequences sober living tries to impose. Making someone homeless only accelerates the downward spiral. Goes back to society looking at addiction as a moral failing. If you really think about it the 12 steps basically say your a shitty person who needs to be fixed instead of a sick person who needs treatment. It's very much a slight of hand trick of say one thing upfront then spill the truth slowly over time

 

[totach]

Hi Chiva, I’m not sure if what your goal is . Cuz if you want to be sober then chippers very rarely are able to sustain once a week use . You don’t think that the second you get released you will be a full blown addict again? I’m not trying to hate on you I’m just saying don’t forget how hard it was to get to 8 months sober . I think you need to re-evaluate what your goal is here . All the best !

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I love the meme.

Supposed to be lovely country up there and MMJ is available in some CO cities. There are alternatives. Stay safe.

Try to find something that gives you meaning. Spare time is probably garnished away from you as you are in a facility but it is important to have so you can focus on pursuing non-drug interests.

 

[ChivaKing86]

Thanks for the feedback, means a lot. Honestly, I’m not trying to stay sober. I’m happier when I’m using, so there’s that. But I totally agree about finding meaning and purpose, something that drives my soul. I’m just not sure what that is right now. It doesn’t help to be surrounded by other addicts who just want to use too. Sober living is not what I need right now. It was quite tough to get 8 months of sobriety but I needed it. I made so much progress in that time it makes me feel like it doesn’t matter if I go back to using for a while, I’m super healthy and in shape.

And very true about pursuing non-drug interests. I just got a job at king soopers a month ago so all my free time goes to that now. I’ll figure it out. Thanks again guys!

 

[cj]

Yeah sober living can definitely be toxic.

 

[jb99]

Yeah sober living can definitely be toxic.

The sleep lost to insane snoring volumes in all these places should be enough to never pick up again.

 

[jdfisse]

I think, "getchewsum" pretty much sums it up.

 

[Chinacatsunflower88]

Hello, I just moved to Colorado as well. Are you still doing outpatient? I’m recovering meth/heroin IV user as well

 

[nuttynutskin]

Honestly, I’m not trying to stay sober. I’m happier when I’m using, so there’s that.

Why bother with rehab then? If don't want to be sober you obviously won't. No one can make you want to be sober.