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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Lost It’s really not fair

poptarts69 said:
I love it. What’s mexs?
My worry is the drug induced psych brought out schizophrenia, but I don’t hallucinate or anything. I’ve lots of friends and no one including my family thinks I have anything. The doc prob said schizoaffective because I complained about racing thoughts and sometimes distorted vision.
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Is your doc a psychiatrist? If so a lot of them just prescribe and make you feel like your crazy because they wouldn’t have a job. That’s why I much rather prefer a psychologist. They try and figure out the root to your problems.
 
Just spoke with the doc. My diagnosis is bipolar with some psychotic features, basically bipolar spectrum. I dont even think a diagnosis matters that much. These medications fuck my body, my face, and make me feel cracked out sometimes. I dont even know what Im treating anymore.
 
Mafioso said:
every day for a month is quite the shroom bender, my friend. Do you mind if I ask how much you were taking daily?

Also, how long ago was this?


As far as I'm concerned, taking mushrooms, or any drug everyday for a month doesn't make you a POS. Negative self-talk is extremely limiting as well, and for most, turning negative self-talk into positive self-talk is big part of recovery. By telling yourself you are worthless, you eventually start to believe it to some degree at least, and it starts to feed into itself.

What you did may not have been exactly "smart", but you are at the very least intelligent enough to recognize your mistake.


You won't be like this forever, your body can change and heal. The current state you are in is probably more of an adaptation/reaction to the daily dose of psilocybin rather than permanent damage. In your body's attempt to stay "level", the brain and body has made some adjustments. For me, the hardest part of recovery is being patient and trusting in the process on days when I don't feel good, or maybe even feel worse than usual. It's easy to lose focus on the bigger picture when the moment is intensely distracting or discomforting.


I've seen my best friend and myself come out of psychosis and probably undiagnosed schizophrenia. On the positive side, if it was drug induced, then you have a much higher probability of symptoms resolving completely than if it were genetic onset.
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how did you come out of it? were you taking meds and then one day it went away?
 
That must make me a piece of shit times ten then I was growing them and could not stop eating them all day every single day. I did this on two occasions and the second grow abandoned the remainder of the harvest at a public drug den on this old abandoned railroad bridge on the edge of a dirty nasty forest right at the city line at no cost.

Literally felt them eating at my brain somehow causing physical pain the buildup in there it isn't like they are full of a nutrient.
 
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dragonix said:
That must make me a piece of shit times ten then I was growing them and could not stop eating them all day every single day. I did this on two occasions and the second grow abandoned the remainder of the harvest at a public drug den on this old abandoned railroad bridge on the edge of a dirty nasty forest right at the city line at no cost.

Literally felt them eating at my brain somehow causing physical pain the buildup in there it isn't like they are full of a nutrient.
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How are you now? Did they cause any permanent damage? Did you receive a diagnosis or encounter troubling times after? Last question, how many weeks / months is all day every day ha
 
no unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Probably the best analogy is in a quote "you don't walk 20 miles into the woods then turn around and walk 5 steps out".

it's something I still struggle with, some times more than others, sometimes not really at all. I wonder if it won't be a life long burden, but hearing stories of those that have overcome similar or worse addictions brings me a lot of hope. It is possible to heal.
 
I always reminisce about the cool/happy kid I used to be before I got hospitalized for something out of my control and ask why something so terrible had to happen to me. I guess all that can be done is to look forwards and make the most out of what you have. im assuming you still have things you enjoy doing, so just do those. worked for me for some time.
 
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