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Misc Is kratom addiction in my head and is Imodium helping? It sound so dumb :/

I don't think anyone is destined to become a daily used just cause they sometimes use drugs. Like some people can drink a glass of wine with dinner or get a buzz a couple times a year but keep it a buzz don't blackout and don't crave it the next day.

I desided to deal with my cravings today to do benzedrex, please no hate just needed to get myind off it but I only done it like twice low dose just to take away anxiety. I am careful with stims don't want heart attack or addiction any stim shit feels too much like cheap meth to abuse too often.

I feel once I get through this week I'll get my energy back some and be able to think clearly about what I want do next if I wanna clean up for good for a while or find a way to control my kratom habit which I think I can do alone but worry about my bfs influence cause we both encourage each other to do stuff.

you gotta surround yourself with positive influences, i hope everything works out for you! :)
 
I know. All my friends are good people and good influences too bad for the most part I cut them off in the last few years or so. It's hard to maintain friendships when you have trouble being in reality. If I can successfully maintain kratom I'll post or if I'm wrong I'll post too idk what to do yet I could feel different when I am away long enough I don't crave it the same and might be like fuck it I don't want to risk messing with it again. It's so hard I don't like being sober but almost anything I take seems better than alcohol. Which is rationalizing like just because it's not the worst of evils doesn't make it ok I know. I wonder how I'm gonna end up years down the line. I can always go a few months without drugs or alcohol. Then I slip and if it's not daily it's at least every weekend. Sometimes I feel I like this and other times I just wish I knew how the rest of the world does it, is happy without any help from medication.
 
I know. All my friends are good people and good influences too bad for the most part I cut them off in the last few years or so. It's hard to maintain friendships when you have trouble being in reality. If I can successfully maintain kratom I'll post or if I'm wrong I'll post too idk what to do yet I could feel different when I am away long enough I don't crave it the same and might be like fuck it I don't want to risk messing with it again. It's so hard I don't like being sober but almost anything I take seems better than alcohol. Which is rationalizing like just because it's not the worst of evils doesn't make it ok I know. I wonder how I'm gonna end up years down the line. I can always go a few months without drugs or alcohol. Then I slip and if it's not daily it's at least every weekend. Sometimes I feel I like this and other times I just wish I knew how the rest of the world does it, is happy without any help from medication.

well my advice is to just enjoy your life, let your worries go away just be happy with your choices and be happy that your alive to enjoy life, kratom is alot safer than alcohol i wouldnt feel bad its a smarter choice.

Cheer up :) just be happy with yourself.
 
I know. All my friends are good people and good influences too bad for the most part I cut them off in the last few years or so. It's hard to maintain friendships when you have trouble being in reality. If I can successfully maintain kratom I'll post or if I'm wrong I'll post too idk what to do yet I could feel different when I am away long enough I don't crave it the same and might be like fuck it I don't want to risk messing with it again. It's so hard I don't like being sober but almost anything I take seems better than alcohol. Which is rationalizing like just because it's not the worst of evils doesn't make it ok I know. I wonder how I'm gonna end up years down the line. I can always go a few months without drugs or alcohol. Then I slip and if it's not daily it's at least every weekend. Sometimes I feel I like this and other times I just wish I knew how the rest of the world does it, is happy without any help from medication.

R u srsly a kitty frum space
 
Lopes are just a substitute and will prolong your detox, so at least there's a bright side to it all.
 
Hey space kitten I read your earlier post about constipation and was concerned for your well being. If it's getting that bad you need to take a stool softener or you risk being impacted and that can put you in serious danger and discomfort.
 
As soon as I was off both the lope and kratom I went from being constipated to pure liquid diareah. I been trying to take drug alternatives and been off lope sense over a week. did dxm last night which I used to love it was a complete bust for me, 250mg no tracers I could see clearly and think clearly but my body just felt wierd all I did was sit there missing kratom unable to sleep until 8am.

But on my bust "trip" (so sad I perma-fucked my dxm tolerance years ago, almost a 2 year break and still have tolerance) I read about dxm and helping with kratom tolerance so I gave in today and just took some kratom first time in about 2 weeks, a very low dose for me only 6g and I'm used to taking 15g at a time or more sometimes. I'm waiting excitedly to see if there is any truth to what I read, if not then fuck it I'll wait a few more weeks and try again. When I started I used to dose at 3g and be good for hours.

If I do start kratom again I'm not gonna order pure powder online instead I'm gonna go the inconvienient method and buy precapped expensive kratom from head shop so I'm limited to only affording to do kratom once every week or 2 vs using my vendor which allowed me to buy more kratom than I ever needed.

I know I gave in way too early but I never missed kratom so much while using another drug and feeling disappointed that it wasn't the high I wanted.
 
I am in the same spot, I know this thread is old but I feel the need to stop myself!! I finally have gotten a good job and am just looking for a pen pal for support as I start my taper next week in conjunction with starting my career. I think having less free time will help substantially but I need someone to help talk me through it, especially for the cravings. I admit now I am an addict, not just kratom but I have the predisposition towards addiction with any substance.
 
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