in Subs PAWS

[OSC O'Flahertie]

so been coming on for years but 1st post.
ok so I know there are some threads out on this... but well frankly I haven't found anything that has been of help to me... not to sound the ass but that's what this is for right to find something that clicks, helps, what have you... for you? and in doing so also hopefully someone else in your sich may find it useful...
OK fast about me for background etc. of the sich
was on Opiates for 25 years starting like most at the Dr. ... Lortabs went to Norcs to Roxi to old green 80 OCs.. got to around ten daily then went to China W 400$ day habit then a mix of Dr. and street dr.s went on methadone years back now was on for 4 1/2 to 5 years not really sure anymore.. then kicked in a detox center fast forward 6 months clean and my wife sis and Dr. push me .. but it was my choice I'm clear on that and want to be clear to everyone else regardless of sich that started all and then lead to subs only I put the chems in my body.
jump to around now off subs for ... 5 months..? I'm really off hope I'm making sense.. been in PAWS since well not sure but I got 1 day of feeling clean then away it went.. I've kicked methadone felt the effects for the full 18 months... thought I knew what Hell was... now I'd kill to be coming off that again... I've been low.. really low.. spinning like Russian ... click
get it ? but I've never felt like this.. before really never mattered I was always alone.. but now I have a wife...

I know loads about herbs and using them for Wds, Vitamins , benzos...... blah blah blah so now the point
nothing helps everything I've learned myself on here etc. I've tried no luv.. I lost my job so no Dr. help if I need I can get any drug I want so that doesn't really matter except I like staying in the law to old to do a run up state these days lol
but I'm not going to make it through the next 24 h without doing something I can't.. got Landlord at my flat every day that week about a leak so have to deal with people... so far I've cut myself off from contact with people other then wife as I had problem that turned violent .. no emotional control rage... worst.
all I can find is how really nobody knows how long this crap will last I know people with alcohol PAWS that have been fighting for over 10 years..
so I know there's no easy way out.. I know I got myself here etc.
I also know finding a substitute for your d.o.c. isn't the answer... but really is there 1? 8(
I am taking something so I can deal with life as I have too but what in this communities opinion is best way to go as I know I will have to use it again to keep things going I don't have time to sit back and let time help lofl especially when there really isn't any way to know if it will end or I just get to be in PAWS till I die of old age or ...
so alcohol .. Xanax ... some form of reg opiate... Been thinking of trying going back to H get hooked then kick to see if that would break it so seriously... I'm on and I'm stuck so I'll listen to whatever.. just as I have already stated that Dr. is out I don't have time for therapy nor does it help now so if that's all you have to say to me is time therapy Dr. please don't bother responding.. there are plenty of threads all over telling people that, so thank but no thank you.
everything one else advice is appreciated..

and a quick thank you to this site {people behind it and the people that have been on a long time giving great advice} its a great place.

 

[Jabberwocky]

What particular symptoms of PAWS are you experiencing?

Do you have a doctor? You might benefit from some kind of medication.

What are you doing in terms of healthy activities that promote your wellbeing? Exercise, meditation, social events, education, career, whatever. Stuff like this can make PAWS infinitely more bearable.