I went to the local discount £1 earlier today to go get my dose of Bombay Mix as love that stuff, it is so tasty it's a gift from God. Anyway I've been going in there for several years & usually the people that serve in there are not the best looking to say the least but the last 3/4 months this woman around the age of 25-30 I'd say has been working in there part time & she has a look about her that seems to be of S.E Asia or some place close to there, she never wears any make up & just has her hair tied back in a ponytail but I'm not going to lie she is (imo) just stunning, I mean a really amazing beautiful woman, it is clear she doesn't spend hours in the mirror like a lot of English women with their fake eyelashes, god knows how much make up etc, she is what I call a natural beauty, if she put on make up etc she could do something like that Victoria's Secret & I'm not joking.
When I went in there today I've NEVER done this before but after I got served she smiled at me & I have no idea what came over me but I said to her "I just want to say you are so
beautiful" & she just smiled & then turned a bit red & tried to hide her face behind a magazine that was on the counter, I'm not sure if now she will think I am some pervert or I am guilty of being a #Metoo sex monster. I became so fucking shamed of what I'd just said I got my ass outta there so fast & now I fee like I've done something really bad by saying that to her. I'm really NOT one of these guys that goes around thinking his got some gift from God that gives him the right to talk badly to women, I'm not sure if I can ever go back in that shop now due to what I said. I DIDN'T try to come over as some pervert or lure on her as I find that thing horrific to say the least.
Do people think I have done something wrong as in this day & age a man has NO DIEA what is ok to say.
Would a woman be offended if a guy said that to them?
Should I now never go into the shop again as I have done something wrong?
You did absolutely nothing wrong and don't believe the hype . . . provided that one is smooth about it a majority of both sexes/all genders will find it flattering. And third parties don't or shouldn't get a say in it, by the way. This I can tell you as the co-author of the book
How To Pick Up Secretaries, Receptionists, Co-Workers & Waitstaff, which in fact emphasised the need for caution, discretion, cognisance of any power differential, how these are different from situations like singles events or bars where everyone came for that reason. It was aimed to both sexes and, from the 1992 edition, includes the LG&B community and fellow travellers.
After all, Mrs Nicomorphist was my boss at one time . . . it was clear what was coming, and being a very sensible woman who 15 minutes after close of business on my last day there (leaving because I had worked my way through university doing that and a couple of other jobs and now had the degree I had been working on) jumped my bones. When I was younger, another manager who was what is called in the literature a "Milf" was more pedal-to-the-metal about it and I never felt any pressure to do the wrong thing or quid pro quo and so forth.
This whole thing worse in the States and I was reading the EEOC site some time ago and found out that third -party or bystander sexual harassment was actually a thing. Like if the boss has a lover and it makes you "uncomfortable" then that person can cause all manner of trouble for one or both of the lovers. It was bad when I lived there, but this is absolutely draconian and ripe for abuse. It used to be that a personnel person or manager had an ethical quandary about processing third-party complaints. In this area at least, the laws on privacy are leaky to non-existent, certainly compared to Europe, South America or the Pacific Rim.
Isn't a third-party complaint potentially done by people who are jealous and all that? It certainly is a lot of power to give the Lumpenproletariat I must say.
The people making the noise are those who hijacked the metoo thing and drove it into the ground. Well, in any case, is that kind of thing something that actually works, or is it a kind of office politics of personal destruction?
All of this came of the same bill of goods and pig in a poke that the feminist movement -- of which I have been an adherent of the French-style cultural and equity feminist type (as in, at the risk of oversimplification, that there are things in what is considered femininity which are good for 100 per cent of the population, so women should not ape the worst habits of men but chart a new course and so on) -- allowed the establishment of the time to sell to the cause, and 40 years later, how much has changed?
It is very unfortunate that the pendulum swinging back on this took with it the candidature of a very sensible US Senator, Kirsten Gillbrand, with everything else. She tried to hitch her campaign to that, apparently not realising that things were coming back to what is probably, in spite of it, a new middle where real sexual harassment is both made less common by parents teaching their children, as so much of it is crudeness and disrespect, and when it does occur is handled in a better way than it is now. Senator Gillibrand's comment in the second debate about using Clorox on the oval office may have been clever, but it was beneath her and undignified, and accomplished less than nothing.