i think i have braindamage from adderall

[selfmedicinals]

the first time i got prescribed amphetamines it took a few months unti i recognized that the psychosis was there.....i leftthat docter but on my way out the door she said "you have braindamage." and i gave her a confused look and continued out the door. just to let you know im currently in a comedown as i just got my script last night from a docter i started going to when i made the mistake of going back to a docter whenever it was. this docter took me off adderall and put me on a bunch of shit for bi-polar and claimed i was misdiagnosed as adhd but i when i went in last time i said klonopin is too risky i kinda need to go back on the adderall so i can work faster so i dont lose my new job.....she put me back on the adderall so im now convinced shes totally unorganised and it makes no sense. so im schizo right now and im aware of it.....i wasnt aware of it a few hours ago when i was still hanging on to the delusional view of reality.. i was talking to my family a couple minutes ago and for the first time i actually forgot what i was talking about or some shit idk.

the thing is i think so much and delve into so much farout shit(I JUST SPENT LIKE 20 MINUTES TYPING AND DELETING THINGS BUT THAN REALIZED THAT I CANT FORM A VIEW ON THE WORLD RIGHT NOW BECAUSE ITS LIKE EVERYTHING EXPLODED IN MY HEAD AND ITS NOT CONNECTED AT ALL)



im done. ths is really messed up yo idk if what i typed can paint a picture of what im going through right now but it happens everytime i take adderall and everytime i never see it coming

i dont even know what im trying to do right now......ill just keep this thing posted so i can always look back on this when i recover

i just deleted a question i typed because i was basically asking why the delusions are delusions and not reality......i percieved it as something different when i was typing it tho....i feel like something is fucking with me right now from another dimension because im really confused i dont understand what the hell this life is right now

im gunna dose suboxone and see if it brings anything together......im basically doing things and after each thing i start questioning why i did what i did.....im a mentally ill person right now if this was permanent i would off myself bc its pointless and makes no sense

this song is spot on with what im going through right now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eSfcUzGTdk

and heres another song by the same guy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQZAB3x1MY8

the difference between the two is like the difference between me tweaking and me sober.....the first song representing soberness and the second representing intoxication

i gotta admit i have a hard time communicating lately

 

[bignig5971]

Dude you need to lay off the Adderall. Stimulants will and are making your psychosis worse I have studied psychology. Taking suboxone will not help. Dude you don't have permanent brain damage you are just in a delusional state. You will feel better after getting off all those drugs.

 

[Maya]

^yes agreed on the poster above

See also if you can go to a different doctor op a d get a second opinion if you feel like the diagnosis is incorrect. Make sure to lay out all the details, the meds you were prescribed and so on.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

I think you should really re-consider whats helping you and what isn't. Amphetamine and stimulants in general are notorious for denigrating the individual's quality of mind fast if abused. Please watch out for your health.

Best of Luck

 

[_DankOpiAmp_]

Your doctor sounds like a malicious cunt. Amphetamines have the notorious ability to make you obsess about the possibility of having damaged yourself. Your best bet is to take an extended break. What seems like brain damage is usually just sleep debt and fatigue followed by the mental dullness of withdrawal which can last quite some time.

 

[ME0W]

i gotta admit i have a hard time communicating lately

selfmedicinals, I am right there with you, man. I cannot put a coherent sentence together these days. I too believe I have brain damage from years of adderall abuse.

 

[_DankOpiAmp_]

In a year or two it will be almost completely back to normal. With the most extreme usage patterns it takes time but it comes back for the most part. I lot of it has to do with the lifestyle you maintain while coming off of it as well, it tends not to be stimulating as you are not very motivated to make it so.

 

[Allein]

Why a doctor would make such a ridiculous statement I have no idea, the actual words themselves have no real medical meaning 'brain damage'.

If fall over and bang my head I may well have caused some damage to my brain, I would be unlikely to notice and real symptoms may a headache, my brain would soon heal itself, it's truly amazing at doing that.

I have a relative born in the early 1950's, they thought she was still still born and left her lying on a table, written off as dead, some minuted later she started breathing, she has brain damage and it's quite obvious to anyone this is the case. That said she rode a 2 wheel bicycle as a child can walk and, talk, they make statements about her having the mental ability of a 3 year old. I kinda disagree she's a 60(something) year old women with a brain that doesn't work to well. I digress I little to give an example of what the statement really means in most uses.

Taking amphetamines, which is what your doing can make you paranoid, depressed, nervous and a whole host of other temporary problems. It is well kn ow for bringing on psychosis in some but again its highly unlikely you won't fully recover from this mental state. I'm no doctor but as a user of amphetamines for 20+ years I'm reasonably well read on the subjects as well as experienced in the short and long term effects.

AFAIK amphetamines do not cause permanent physical damage to the brain, of course they affect your dopamine system, that's one of the main reasons many enjoy taking them. I'm sure it's possible some permanent changes are made but millions have been taking such chemicals for around 80 years and there is no epidemic of 'brain damage'

It seems clear to me from your post that you are are experiencing the classic negative symptoms many users experience at some stage. You are becoming paranoid and developing complex paranoid delusions, psychosis may well follow if you aren't already experiencing some of those symptoms as well. I'm sorry of that seem a little blunt but I've seen this happen to people using amphetamines many times.

Stop taking these drugs without delay, I'm not sure if you have spoken to a doctor about these mental symptoms you are suffering with but if after stopping taking these drugs you don't feel significantly better within a week please seek help, treatment could just be counselling, or though a doctor may feel that other medications are required for a short time to help you stabilise things .

 

[Mafioso]

selfmedicinals

you are going to be fine. right now you are experiencing the symptoms of moderate to heavy drug use. believe it or not you are not the only one who's wondered if they were schizophrenic. I believe what you are going through may be termed something more of a drug induced psychosis if anything more than drug side effects.

you are taking drugs that will change everyones brain chemistry, but how your body will react to those changes during both the high and low is hard to say exactly.

You are not "brain dead" or "mentally retarded" as far as I can tell, however you are engaged in a behavior that is causing damage to your brain.

If you want to stop causing yourself damage it is a two-fold process: the first being to stop the input of damaging substances like drugs(any drug imho) and the second being to promote healing with positive change. No one just stops using drugs and gets better, you must replace your unhealthy habits with healthy ones.

 

[willchambers12]

I just started taking adderall to help me for finals in school. I took 20mg today and it works really well, I got all of my work done really quickly with good quality too. I just think it works too well I might become addicted. This is my second time taking. I was wondering your opinion on what I should do.

 

[Wilson Wilson]

Adderall is highly unlikely to cause permanent brain damage. You're probably taking high doses and experiencing stimulant psychosis then subsequent comedowns and sleep deprivation. Stop taking it and eventually you will feel better. I don't necessarily recommend this but benzos or opiates will help smooth out amphetamine comedowns. However if you can't control your use it's easy to lead onto a new addiction so that's why I say I can't recommend it for HR reasons.

Also is this doctor the same one still giving you an Adderall script? Seems like a terrible doctor saying you have brain damage caused by Adderall with no basis then giving you more of the stuff. Talk about duty of care...

Oh and if you are worried about being schizophrenic then you are most certainly not schizophrenic. If you had full on chronic psychosis you would believe the delusions were real instead of questioning them.

And fuck after typing this I realise it's a dug up thread from 2014. Oh well hopefully it helps others regardless. This is pretty common for those abusing stimulants heavily.

 

[Mafioso]

I just started taking adderall to help me for finals in school. I took 20mg today and it works really well, I got all of my work done really quickly with good quality too. I just think it works too well I might become addicted. This is my second time taking. I was wondering your opinion on what I should do.

Hey man if you want to talk about your struggle with Adderall, or fear of addiction even, it's ok to start your own thread. Bumping threads from the grave is generally frowned upon tho.

Wilson offers some great advice, if you haven't already taken a look at his post.

 

[Mycophile]

Ok, I'm sort of glad I saw this with my post on wanting to quit dex in the Other drugs forum:

Someone said this: "In a year or two it will be almost completely back to normal."

A YEAR OR TWO??!!

I've been using it for almost a year, and while I started at a dose of 5mgs (10--15mgs a day) for the 1st 3 months or so, since then it's escalated to a little over 50mgs a day (usually 25--27.5mg doses, mostly twice a day, sometimes once, ocassionally three times).....and I CANNOT HANDLE 2 YEARS OF WITHDRAWAL!!

Granted, I have only gone 5 days so far without it, but I was super depressed and had no energy and couldn't get out of bed.

Many people say the WD only lasts like 2 weeks....I hope they are right.

Do people REALLY have WD and bad side effects that last MONTHS if not YEARS??!!

 

[Wilson Wilson]

Ok, I'm sort of glad I saw this with my post on wanting to quit dex in the Other drugs forum:

Someone said this: "In a year or two it will be almost completely back to normal."

A YEAR OR TWO??!!

I've been using it for almost a year, and while I started at a dose of 5mgs (10--15mgs a day) for the 1st 3 months or so, since then it's escalated to a little over 50mgs a day (usually 25--27.5mg doses, mostly twice a day, sometimes once, ocassionally three times).....and I CANNOT HANDLE 2 YEARS OF WITHDRAWAL!!

Granted, I have only gone 5 days so far without it, but I was super depressed and had no energy and couldn't get out of bed.

Many people say the WD only lasts like 2 weeks....I hope they are right.

Do people REALLY have WD and bad side effects that last MONTHS if not YEARS??!!

Only in severe cases. You are on 50mg dex a day? That's actually 10mg below the max daily dose for adults. It's not a low dose but not a stupid high one either. Taper down and you should be off it in months.

 

[Mycophile]

Only in severe cases. You are on 50mg dex a day? That's actually 10mg below the max daily dose for adults. It's not a low dose but not a stupid high one either. Taper down and you should be off it in months.

Well, that makes me feel MUCH better, but "MONTHS" still doesn't sound good...at least not months of FEELING BAD...as opposed to TOTALLY off it if I tapered REALLY slowly.

Should I really taper though?

I could easily see myself taking full doses if I've taken any and just be like "screw it, I want the full dose now."

I mean, I don't have anything I have to do right now...I'm a teacher and have the summer off so I can basically do nothing and as long as I survive I'd rather the WD be over sooner but worse than take longer but be less severe.

Others have said one doesn't usually need a taper for this.

I mean, I've only made it 5 days in a row in the past year, which was about 2 weeks ago, but that wasn't because it was so hard, just cause I never thought it was a priority and never really tried, so I have no way of knowing how long it would take or how bad it would be.

I still felt bad after the 5 days and fucked up and started taking it again but I know I can do better, and I don't think I felt QUITE as bad on days 4 and 5 as before, and I mean....couldn't maybe 2-3 weeks do it?

I'd really like this to be over in LESS than a month or a month max....DEFINITELY at least at a point where I am not feeling really bad on a daily basis within a month's time.

Is that possible?

What do you think?

 

[Wilson Wilson]

See my reply to your other thread. You can do a fast taper in a week or two or just stop cold turkey, it is up to you. CT will give you a harsher comedown but food, water, sleep, and weed will help. For me when I have a break from my dex usually I feel lethargic for a week or two. But after that it's hard to tell what is ADHD symptoms coming back and what is down to the drugs.

Stims don't tend to cause a prolonged withdrawal in the vast majority of people. You basically have a comedown and once that passes you have psychological effects for a week or so and feel fine.

I'd peg it at a month or two if you taper, or a few weeks if you don't. If you don't taper expect it to be harsher but quicker. If you taper it'll take longer but be easier. It's up to you what to prioritise.

 

[Mycophile]

See my reply to your other thread. You can do a fast taper in a week or two or just stop cold turkey, it is up to you. CT will give you a harsher comedown but food, water, sleep, and weed will help. For me when I have a break from my dex usually I feel lethargic for a week or two. But after that it's hard to tell what is ADHD symptoms coming back and what is down to the drugs.

Stims don't tend to cause a prolonged withdrawal in the vast majority of people. You basically have a comedown and once that passes you have psychological effects for a week or so and feel fine.

I'd peg it at a month or two if you taper, or a few weeks if you don't. If you don't taper expect it to be harsher but quicker. If you taper it'll take longer but be easier. It's up to you what to prioritise.

Thanks. Yeah, this is what post people around here are saying but someone who I think also knows a far amount about this but who I don't know any better than you guys (not on this forum, somewhere else) got in my ear and basically made me believe this would be REALLY hard and bad.

His quote was "it will be VERY hard, but not IMPOSSIBLE."

I was like..."shit, that's REALLY reassuring!"

That sounds like what someone would say about heroin wd or benzo wd!!

I can't tell how bad it will be till it's over or at least greatly improved, but I am thinking you guys are going to be right and this guy wrong.

I mean, I was reading horror stories about people who took years to recover, but their usage was generally more than mine, which is still a bit under a year, and where it didn't get to over 20mgs a day until around 5 months or so....then it sharply progressed upwards....but still.....it doesn't SEEM like it should be as bad as the guy made out...

Hopefully you right.

Thanks again.

 

[Zonxx]

seems to me someones taken a hefty amount of adderall you must be taking more than 60-100mg per day?
it will simply take time to re-adjust to normality without adderall, not to mention the withdrawal you'll have, you should perhaps taper off would be a better option IF youve taken it that long
also a good reminder when recreationally using addys is to know when to stop taking them especially when youve been awake for days

 

[Mycophile]

seems to me someones taken a hefty amount of adderall you must be taking more than 60-100mg per day?
it will simply take time to re-adjust to normality without adderall, not to mention the withdrawal you'll have, you should perhaps taper off would be a better option IF youve taken it that long
also a good reminder when recreationally using addys is to know when to stop taking them especially when youve been awake for days

Not really, I mean, as I explained before, I've only been on them 1 year and I started off the first month (last July) at 10mgs a day of Adderall which isn't much, then I was only on 10mgs of Vyvanse for the 2nd month which isn't much, the 3rd when I switched to Dexadrine is when it escalated that 3rd month to probably around 15mgs a day and yeah I kept escalating from there.....then now I have gotten to the point where if I dose once it's usually 27.5mgs but yeah.....if I dose twice, which is only SOME days, I would usually dose about 60mgs give or take, and as one other poster was saying, 60mgs a day is the highest RECOMMENDED dosage, so it's not like it's just a little bit, but it's still within the therapeutic range, (just barely), whereas many amp addicts will take a LOT more than 60mgs a day...like 80, 100, 140 etc....and also, I have only snorted them a handful of times and usually take them orally so that's not as bad either...

Also, I take DEXADRINE NOT ADDERALL....which most here say is purer and has fewer side effects because there's no Levoamphetamine, but because Adderall is I think 75% dex and 25% L-Amp, that also means that when you take a certain dose of dex you are getting more dex than if you take the approximate same dose of Adderall, so it's a matter of what is worse....and most here seem to think it's better to be on a little more dex than just a little less Adderall, but they both have their dangers.

I mean, I've now made it one full week without Dexadrine and I'm starting to regain SOME of my energy and my mood is a bit better than before, so I really think if I just abstain like another 3-4 weeks I'll be ok, and I probably either won't get my script filled again, or maybe just ONE more time and then ask my psych to cancel it and save the bottles in the back of my closet just in case I ever have something important like an early morning meeting or a long day of work without having slept much, and otherwise, my plan is not to use the shit much more.

And I don't end up being awake for days, but it does mess with my sleep quality and make it harder to fall and stay asleep.


Edit: Maybe you were talking about the original poster from 2014: yeah, he seems like he had a pretty serious problem and probably took WAY WAY more than me...or else just had a very bad reaction...I've never had psychosis (*knock on wood*).

 

[Zonxx]

Not really, I mean, as I explained before, I've only been on them 1 year and I started off the first month (last July) at 10mgs a day of Adderall which isn't much, then I was only on 10mgs of Vyvanse for the 2nd month which isn't much, the 3rd when I switched to Dexadrine is when it escalated that 3rd month to probably around 15mgs a day and yeah I kept escalating from there.....then now I have gotten to the point where if I dose once it's usually 27.5mgs but yeah.....if I dose twice, which is only SOME days, I would usually dose about 60mgs give or take, and as one other poster was saying, 60mgs a day is the highest RECOMMENDED dosage, so it's not like it's just a little bit, but it's still within the therapeutic range, (just barely), whereas many amp addicts will take a LOT more than 60mgs a day...like 80, 100, 140 etc....and also, I have only snorted them a handful of times and usually take them orally so that's not as bad either...

Also, I take DEXADRINE NOT ADDERALL....which most here say is purer and has fewer side effects because there's no Levoamphetamine, but because Adderall is I think 75% dex and 25% L-Amp, that also means that when you take a certain dose of dex you are getting more dex than if you take the approximate same dose of Adderall, so it's a matter of what is worse....and most here seem to think it's better to be on a little more dex than just a little less Adderall, but they both have their dangers.

I mean, I've now made it one full week without Dexadrine and I'm starting to regain SOME of my energy and my mood is a bit better than before, so I really think if I just abstain like another 3-4 weeks I'll be ok, and I probably either won't get my script filled again, or maybe just ONE more time and then ask my psych to cancel it and save the bottles in the back of my closet just in case I ever have something important like an early morning meeting or a long day of work without having slept much, and otherwise, my plan is not to use the shit much more.

And I don't end up being awake for days, but it does mess with my sleep quality and make it harder to fall and stay asleep.


Edit: Maybe you were talking about the original poster from 2014: yeah, he seems like he had a pretty serious problem and probably took WAY WAY more than me...or else just had a very bad reaction...I've never had psychosis (*knock on wood*).

Haha ye i was talking about him, youll eventually re-adjust and be amp free but its worth it if your goal is to be amp free, amps are famous for rapid tolerance and dose increase ^^ i can now physically without a negative handle 240mg ADDERALL but ye the dex is hella better, l-amps got its ups n downs but dex is entirely smoother and better and even has less potential physical negatives but makes it more abuseable if you take them recreationally