Benzos I hate and love benzos so much

[JayDawg20]

I've never hated and loved something so much. I had a heavy xanax addiction years ago. It caused me to go to rehab numerous times. The last time I was addicted was the worse. Was blacking out quite a bit and was taking upwards of 20mg and still knowing what I was doing. I steered clear for over 3 years, and then started taking phenibut. I believe phenibut made me crave the benzos again. Eventually (now) started purchasing etizolam online. I have taken a few of them and goddamnit. I feel so normal (to me). It's like my life is restricted due to anxiety. I often feel like I can't do certain things. Can't make strong connections with people because I am constantly worrying what they're thinking. I have trouble sometimes just holding a conversation with a person. It's funny because people tell me how social I am and how outgoing I am. They just don't know how uncomfortable I am the entire time.

Etizolam (the times I have taken it so far) have already helped me in doing so many things I normally have trouble doing. I just wish there was another anxiety med that worked like benzos that didn't cause so much damn addiction.

I feel bad because I have gone back to benzos, but I truly hope I don't go back to the way I was

 

[Dextro .45]

I hear ya bud...have you tried Clonidine 0.1mg tablets?

Many physicians use Clonidine as a substitute for benzodiazepine, which have a slew of issues with long term usage. I have been using Clonidine lightly off & on, as needed, for nearly 10 years...for night time sleeping and more importantly as a substitute for benzos due to its potent anxiolytic action. It’s rapid acting 20min onset with peak plasma in an hour, inhibits norepinephrine and lowers blood pressure. A rapid heart rate will be calmed down to a comfortable state as if you just finished a spa visit.

Read up on it if you’re unfamiliar and ask your doc for a script. It isn’t a controlled substance and you can get a quick & easy script at any walk-in clinic no problems. Use for chronic insomnia and anxiety issues as a safer alternative to benzodiazepines.

Try it out....you’ll be very impressed

 

[OntarioGuy]

Im right there with you......I recently switched from abusing etizolam too prescribed clonazepam for maintenance and ultimately an eventual taper....the thing is, sometime i really dont want to taper. I feel benzo addiction may be a chronic relapsing condition for me. Ive detoxed off them several times now, 2 tapers and a cold turkey. the cold turkey almost killed me. the diazepam tapers were so slow it was literally painless.

but nothing gives me the comfort benzos do. Im so bad im in treatment for etizolam, and am being maintained on clonazepam.......but I couldnt help but order 250 mg of etizolam that will be sitting in my post office box upon my discharge. I ordered it in the event that I get discharged without a follow up clonazepam Rx and cant track down my doctor. hes very busy, and with Covid we all know things are just totally fucked pretty much everywhere.....so If I have to go home with no benzos at least Ill have 250 mg's of etizolam to stop at least the major withdawal symptoms until I can figure out my next move.... im down to 4.5 mg of clonazepam a day here now actually, so im going to see if I can get away with 6 mg of etizolam a day. 3 mg in the morning 3 mg at night. if not ill increase, but when I get home I know I have a check in my mail box, which i know i will cash and end up ordering 1000 mg's of etizolam and probably 4 x 30 ml bottles of 1 mg/ml solution my vendor offers, because honestly, Id rather do that and somewhat maintain then do a cold turkey withdrawal. If I have too id like use the solution and taper myself down in micrograms. Like start at 6 mg a day, reduce to 5.75 after a week, reduce to 5.5 the next week and so on. when I get to 2 mg I would start reducing in 100 microgram increments. this would be possible and not very expensive if I use the 1mg/ml PG solution to dissolve the powder I ordered to make a custom solution of 6 mg/ml and use an oral syringe to measure my reductions

I find for me personally Nabilone (a synthetic THC analog available by Rx here in Canada) is a non benzo that really helps my anxiety, though for others it may increase it. Also Gabapentin and Lyrica are other options and clonidine...though clonidine makes me feel totally drained and lethargic. 4 F Phenibut is available now from some vendors I was thinking of trying it instead of phenibut as the dose is lower, but I still ordered 25 grams of phenibut itself for my own anxiety and again, to help with any withdrawal I may have from benzos if i get stuck in a tough spot..... Id like to use phenibut to reduce my etizolam dose and stretch out my rations. like take 2 mg of etizolam twice a day perhaps but supplement the dose with 1 gram of phenibut and take a sole dose of perhaps 750-1000 mg in the middle of the day in case i experience some interdose withdrawal.

any sort of GABA addiction sucks, whether its benzos,alcohol,Z drugs, gabapentanoids or GBL/GHB, they all suck equally as bad

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

I've never been addicted to benzos but I truly do see the appeal. It's probably what I feel like when I intake opiates... relief from the existential dread and finally it's a life I can very much enjoy. Otherwise it's a flat and grey miserable world forever yay.

If benzos are your true clutch it helps to analyze the pros and cons of being off them. Sobriety is often thought of as better, when in reality it never was about a comparison contest to begin with. I'm sure that there are certain aspects of life that you find benzos to completely dull out and especially in a bad way. Vice versa. On xanax or not you'll just notice different demons popping up lol. There's no middle ground when it comes to substance abuse. Being repeatedly in and out of rehab sounds like a very unpleasant time. They don't let you bring drugs into rehab right? Sounds like a bad time. The drugs are what make life fun. I kid I kid. If benzo withdrawal is at play it's a far more serious situation. Otherwise, you've got some time to figure your life out. There's plenty of time to overcome one major life problem and then deal with entirely new ones. The fun never ends. One minute the worst thing you ever knew was xanax, and then the next it's your evil ex wife trying to sue the life out of you and steal your kids. There are much worse things in the world than good old alprazolam

 

[Ballz_Trippington]

I've never hated and loved something so much. I had a heavy xanax addiction years ago. It caused me to go to rehab numerous times. The last time I was addicted was the worse. Was blacking out quite a bit and was taking upwards of 20mg and still knowing what I was doing. I steered clear for over 3 years, and then started taking phenibut. I believe phenibut made me crave the benzos again. Eventually (now) started purchasing etizolam online. I have taken a few of them and goddamnit. I feel so normal (to me). It's like my life is restricted due to anxiety. I often feel like I can't do certain things. Can't make strong connections with people because I am constantly worrying what they're thinking. I have trouble sometimes just holding a conversation with a person. It's funny because people tell me how social I am and how outgoing I am. They just don't know how uncomfortable I am the entire time.

Etizolam (the times I have taken it so far) have already helped me in doing so many things I normally have trouble doing. I just wish there was another anxiety med that worked like benzos that didn't cause so much damn addiction.

I feel bad because I have gone back to benzos, but I truly hope I don't go back to the way I was

I know this is probably going to be considered the most bullshit answer but I've suffered from moderate to severe anxiety most of my life it didnt get better until I discovered a philosophy called "Stoicicim".
It took many years to train myself to not care what others think about me... to the point now that sometimes I find myself seeking out uncomfortable social situations just to test my metal and see how well I can navigate through them.
Benzos always seemed like band aids for anxiety....band aids that always fall off of you. They work tremendously well for a sudden acute episode but then what??? The cause of the anxiety is still there no matter what until you deal with it head on.

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

I know this is probably going to be considered the most bullshit answer but I've suffered from moderate to severe anxiety most of my life it didnt get better until I discovered a philosophy called "Stoicicim".
It took many years to train myself to not care what others think about me... to the point now that sometimes I find myself seeking out uncomfortable social situations just to test my metal and see how well I can navigate through them.
Benzos always seemed like band aids for anxiety....band aids that always fall off of you. They work tremendously well for a sudden acute episode but then what??? The cause of the anxiety is still there no matter what until you deal with it head on.

I genuinely appreciated this post. There's a lot of people who are like "my anxiety is so bad how do I manipulate my doctor into giving me klonopin." I can't think of anything worse than opiate withdrawal but objectively people say that benzo withdrawal is so much worse.. There are ways to manage anxiety that don't always include drugs. They help for sure but your doctor can out of nowhere change your xanax script into gabapentin and forcibly so. This literally happened to one of my best friends lol. You can't count on benzos being there. Gabapentin is gross.