Not sure if this is the right place, please advise if there is somewhere better to post.
I'm just gonna start this with saying.. I fucked up, badly, I know how bad I fucked and consider suicide a lot because of my addiction and what it has done to me.
Back in '09 i was offered a key of Mephedrone, I was 19 at the time and had used drugs since my early teens.. weed, coke, speed and pills; weed was daily from around ages 14 - 17, the rest once in a blue moon, I stopped smoking weed at 17 and hadn't touched it for 2 years by the time I was offered Meph.
Anyways, I didn't think twice and had a bump of my friend, I was overcome with a feeling of euphoria and confidence unlike what I had ever experienced, pretty soon I was sniffing it every weekend, at first it was just a gram but it progressed quickly to 3+ g's per session and not going home all weekend, no food, no sleep just this horrible chemical.
One day, I noticed testicle pain, I went to the doctors and was diagnosed with Epididymitis, anti-biotics didn't touch it, I then noticed the pain got worse and flared up when I was taking Mephedrone, you would think that I would have quit at this point but I was so addicted, I just couldn't stop, I kept making excuses to myself that it will go away when I stop taking it and that I'm only young, I won't have it forever... retarded, I know.
I continued use of this drug, I then noticed other side effects, my left elbow starting red/blue while using (similar to other people on here but with their knees), this was about 6 months after use, I would also occasionaly get red marks on my knuckles, which I have no identified as gottron papules, which people with Dermatomyositis get, but I never experienced any muscle weakness.
I then noticed my erection were weak, even while not on the drug, all these horrendous side effects happened during just the first 6 months of my addiction.. I stupidly carried on for around a year, with the amount per session increasing.
I eventually weaned myself of using coke, here's where things get weird, coke was causing the same symptoms, Epididymitis, and a red elbow (elbow not as bad as when using Meph, never blue) and I used a lot of coke in my teens and had no issues. My coke habit lasted around a 18 months of using at the weekend, coke is a lot more expensive and no where near as moreish so i was rarely going over a gram and was usually in bed by 7am. Why I didn't stop sooner is beyond me but I was so heavy into drugs at this point and in a sad way they were all I knew, and every one I knew did them, so I could say to myself, right I'm only going out for a few pints, but after a few pints and your mate pulls out a bag...
in 2014 i quit everything and just stopped going out, here's where things get weirder... My sore testicle and weird redish arm settled down a lot, but, I noticed nicotine and caffeine were causing minor issues, I quit vaping and only drank decaf. I then noticed Viagra and Cialis caused flare ups of both my testicle and arm, even weirder, stress and anxiety caused flare ups too.. What the fuck?
Fast forward to today, I'm still having issues, my testicle is still heavy and have frequent urination / sudden urges because of it, urination gets rid of the pain. My erections aren't right but have recovered a lot, I can masturbate myself into almost a full erection, it just doesn't throb and is hard to keep up, my elbow still feels weird but not massively, no redness.
Thankfully, I'm not living in agony, they're more like annoying hindrances, which considering the extent of my abuse, is somewhat lucky, but still, why do other things now cause the same symptoms? I've seen many doctors over the years, talked extensively about my substance abuse, some think I'm crazy others have listened but been unable to offer any good advice.
Some drugs don't cause flare ups, such as, valium, xanax, sertraline, also if I take Cialis Daily the flare ups settle down after a week, like my brain/body gets use to it and allows it?
Alcohol also doesn't cause any problems and even alleviates the symptoms, less urges to urinate (which is weird considering alcohol makes you piss)
I spoke to my doctor about having the testicle removed but he strongly advised against saying there isn't any reason for your testicle to be in pain (multiple scans have come back clear over the years) and because I am having some kind of psychosomatic response to things I take and how I feel, it could happen to my other testicle after the surgery.
My elbow when flared up these days looks like Bursitis, but looked much worse when blue from Mephedrone.
I have seen on here and another site that Meph can cause auto-immune disease, which I think is likely what has happened to me. Anyone ever heard of anything similar to this? I know how stupid I was and i regret my abuse so much.
I'm just gonna start this with saying.. I fucked up, badly, I know how bad I fucked and consider suicide a lot because of my addiction and what it has done to me.
Back in '09 i was offered a key of Mephedrone, I was 19 at the time and had used drugs since my early teens.. weed, coke, speed and pills; weed was daily from around ages 14 - 17, the rest once in a blue moon, I stopped smoking weed at 17 and hadn't touched it for 2 years by the time I was offered Meph.
Anyways, I didn't think twice and had a bump of my friend, I was overcome with a feeling of euphoria and confidence unlike what I had ever experienced, pretty soon I was sniffing it every weekend, at first it was just a gram but it progressed quickly to 3+ g's per session and not going home all weekend, no food, no sleep just this horrible chemical.
One day, I noticed testicle pain, I went to the doctors and was diagnosed with Epididymitis, anti-biotics didn't touch it, I then noticed the pain got worse and flared up when I was taking Mephedrone, you would think that I would have quit at this point but I was so addicted, I just couldn't stop, I kept making excuses to myself that it will go away when I stop taking it and that I'm only young, I won't have it forever... retarded, I know.
I continued use of this drug, I then noticed other side effects, my left elbow starting red/blue while using (similar to other people on here but with their knees), this was about 6 months after use, I would also occasionaly get red marks on my knuckles, which I have no identified as gottron papules, which people with Dermatomyositis get, but I never experienced any muscle weakness.
I then noticed my erection were weak, even while not on the drug, all these horrendous side effects happened during just the first 6 months of my addiction.. I stupidly carried on for around a year, with the amount per session increasing.
I eventually weaned myself of using coke, here's where things get weird, coke was causing the same symptoms, Epididymitis, and a red elbow (elbow not as bad as when using Meph, never blue) and I used a lot of coke in my teens and had no issues. My coke habit lasted around a 18 months of using at the weekend, coke is a lot more expensive and no where near as moreish so i was rarely going over a gram and was usually in bed by 7am. Why I didn't stop sooner is beyond me but I was so heavy into drugs at this point and in a sad way they were all I knew, and every one I knew did them, so I could say to myself, right I'm only going out for a few pints, but after a few pints and your mate pulls out a bag...
in 2014 i quit everything and just stopped going out, here's where things get weirder... My sore testicle and weird redish arm settled down a lot, but, I noticed nicotine and caffeine were causing minor issues, I quit vaping and only drank decaf. I then noticed Viagra and Cialis caused flare ups of both my testicle and arm, even weirder, stress and anxiety caused flare ups too.. What the fuck?
Fast forward to today, I'm still having issues, my testicle is still heavy and have frequent urination / sudden urges because of it, urination gets rid of the pain. My erections aren't right but have recovered a lot, I can masturbate myself into almost a full erection, it just doesn't throb and is hard to keep up, my elbow still feels weird but not massively, no redness.
Thankfully, I'm not living in agony, they're more like annoying hindrances, which considering the extent of my abuse, is somewhat lucky, but still, why do other things now cause the same symptoms? I've seen many doctors over the years, talked extensively about my substance abuse, some think I'm crazy others have listened but been unable to offer any good advice.
Some drugs don't cause flare ups, such as, valium, xanax, sertraline, also if I take Cialis Daily the flare ups settle down after a week, like my brain/body gets use to it and allows it?
Alcohol also doesn't cause any problems and even alleviates the symptoms, less urges to urinate (which is weird considering alcohol makes you piss)
I spoke to my doctor about having the testicle removed but he strongly advised against saying there isn't any reason for your testicle to be in pain (multiple scans have come back clear over the years) and because I am having some kind of psychosomatic response to things I take and how I feel, it could happen to my other testicle after the surgery.
My elbow when flared up these days looks like Bursitis, but looked much worse when blue from Mephedrone.
I have seen on here and another site that Meph can cause auto-immune disease, which I think is likely what has happened to me. Anyone ever heard of anything similar to this? I know how stupid I was and i regret my abuse so much.
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