Just venting here. I don't know what I was thinking, because I tried ketamine about a year ago and hated the experience. I want my life to be filled with warmth, love and a strong sense of self, not this cold disoriented alien like feeling that dissociative drugs bring on.
I was tempted though as I have been reading about all the success stories of ketamine and depression. I've been in a bad way lately and desperate to try anything to get some relief. So I tried snorting just 40-50mg of ketamine in 3 dosages over about 1.5 hours (the recommendation is 5 dosages of 10mg, repeated over 5 days for depression).
Well, 3 hours later and I'm having the freakiest night of my life. I already suffer from depersonalisation/derealisation after a bad trip from weed (4 years of heavy use unscathed, never know when you will crack), and microdose of ketamine brought it all out. I just feel 'weird', I feel like I'm slipping in and out of reality, I feel disconnected from my body, I'm unable to feel any love or connection towards my girlfriend and I'm just having a drawn out panic attack unable to calm down. I really felt like I would lose my mind and I have to resort to using my only true friend in this world, the benzo. So here I am, shaken up, disappointed and still miserably depressed
I was tempted though as I have been reading about all the success stories of ketamine and depression. I've been in a bad way lately and desperate to try anything to get some relief. So I tried snorting just 40-50mg of ketamine in 3 dosages over about 1.5 hours (the recommendation is 5 dosages of 10mg, repeated over 5 days for depression).
Well, 3 hours later and I'm having the freakiest night of my life. I already suffer from depersonalisation/derealisation after a bad trip from weed (4 years of heavy use unscathed, never know when you will crack), and microdose of ketamine brought it all out. I just feel 'weird', I feel like I'm slipping in and out of reality, I feel disconnected from my body, I'm unable to feel any love or connection towards my girlfriend and I'm just having a drawn out panic attack unable to calm down. I really felt like I would lose my mind and I have to resort to using my only true friend in this world, the benzo. So here I am, shaken up, disappointed and still miserably depressed
