The full story (or lack thereof)...as requested.
I am a middle-aged man with very little history with drugs, be they prescribed or not, until my later years. I was healthy enough as a youngster and didn’t mix in popular enough groups to receive the necessary peer pressure to try things when I was growing up.
Through college age I didn’t try anything either as I have always been a non-smoker and the people around me smoked dope (back then it was nearly all resin) and couldn’t help me out. I had one friend who took absolutely everything and could tell me the pros and cons of this type versus that type, however it scared me a bit too much and I stayed away.
Fast forward to my middle years and I obtained a couple of bottles of OxyContin. I did my research and was aware that these were special things and at the time I was experiencing a fair amount of undiagnosed pain, so I tried them. Carefully. I’m afraid I can’t remember the dosages but they were two strengths and one of the weak ones didn’t do anything, but one of the double strength ones gave me a “good day”.
I told my doctor (GP) because I don’t feel the need to keep secrets from someone who is trying to support my health AND because I wanted him to know that my pain was causing me to look outside his own treatments. Looking back, I don’t think I was getting high from these pills, merely having a pain-free day and revelling in what that felt like.
Some few years later I finally had a diagnosis of a form of arthritis and was prescribed codeine for pain relief. Paracetamol doesn’t do much and ibuprofen is weirdly the only drug I have ever truly misused – I took it habitually and for a long time after a bone break and ended up doing a bit of damage to my stomach. Typical that I should have a problem with something so tame !
I am lucky (I think) that codeine appears to give me no high whatsoever. I have never tried to take it in excess quantities because I need it for pain relief, but so far after years of taking it when I want and in whatever quantities I judged necessary, I have never had a buzz of any kind. I even had a big bottle of codeine syrup for a while and that was similarly used carefully.
I know that friends of mine take just half of one of my pills and it makes them feel high so part of me is sad that I don’t get that, but I guess it reduces the abuse potential.
Scroll on to much more recently and I wandered in search of something to give me a bit of “life” – I suffer from low mood (for which I receive medical assistance, both pharmaceutical and counselling) – and to try and bring something more dynamic into my life. I tried smoking dope through a herb-heating vape-type pen but my friend said the buzz was nothing like when she smokes normally. I tried several times without much joy then tried one more time and spent an hour on my kitchen floor unable to move. I would have experimented with dosage but frankly wasn’t having a barrel of laughs…which was part of my goal. The giggles would have been nice.
Oh yes – I did try “whippets” too (nitrous oxide capsules) but frankly the buzzing head seemed to be more from holding my breath than anything else. Once more I noticed the people trying it with me seemed to get pleasure that I did not derive. Am I immune to joy, not doing it right, or just a misery-guts ?
Most recently I acquired some edibles and have found that up to a 20mg THC dose seems to do nothing. In a fit of being fed up I took a 40mg dose and thirty minutes later I was experiencing massive time dilation and very wobbly legs. I was not physically where I needed to be but managed to walk myself home and lie down but then it just became a chance to snooze. I tried the same dosage a few days later, this time already on the sofas, but found I went to a place of slight discomfort – not feeling relaxed and mellow but a bit concerned and queasy. I still have a few left to consume.
I also acquired some alprazolam and some diazepam, based on the experiences of friends who have been prescribed them for medical problems. So far, I have not found any reaction to a single pill of either (1mg / 10mg) apart from a bit of sleepiness, and I’m not sure whether it is wise to try more. Lots of those left.
Finally, my only minor success – speed, of all things. First I had to look up what that meant because yes, I am that naïve. Then I acquired some and tried ever-increasing tiny doses. I have so far discovered that 0.25g taken orally (I don’t see myself as a snorter or injecter in my life) gives me a mostly-pleasant speeding heartrate and a day of productivity. How much of the productivity is chemical and how much is because taking the capsule is an indication to myself that I intend to be productive, would be an interesting question to answer. I don’t know. I know there is a chemical effect, but it is mild and controlled.
I have some MDMA in a little bag somewhere but that’s for a time post-COVID when I can be with other people in the right setting. I’m told that that’s very important if you want to thoroughly enjoy it.
So, there you are. That’s it. Not very exciting but at the same time, not very dangerous. I am keen to remain in a place where the choices I make continue to only affect me, and I don’t have to involve others because I am being stupid or excessive. But am I also being too cautious and missing out on the possibilities out there ?
And why am I asking questions to which I know there are no simple or “right” answers ? Oh yes…because that’s just who I am.
Thanks for your time,
TF