I can't figure out why my taper has been so easy

cj

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In the last 10 days I've dropped from 6mg a day of sub to 2mg a day. The drop from 6 to 4 took 4 days to complete. The first 2 days had virtually zero symptoms. The third day i felt a little off and didn't sleep. The 4th day I was hurting but 3mg of Ativan between my morning and evening dose made it easy. I woke up feeling perfect on the 5th day.

So I immediately dropped to 2mg that day which was yesterday. Today is the second day at 2mg and I feel normal. I expect to feel bad at some point but I thought it would have hit by now.

I'm still dosing twice a day. at 4mg it was 2mg in the am 2mg in the PM. Now at 2mg it's 1mg am 1mg pm. My idea was to compress the withdrawal into the day time and into the half-life Ativan can cover in one dose. Do you think that's why it's been so easy? I'm really thinking of dropping to 1mg tommorow. With just 1 dose in the morning.

I feel stupid for being so afraid to get off this shit. I had a horrible time when I got forced off five years ago but maybe even a half ass taper like this can be effective.

Another strange thing. I kind of enjoy the feeling of extremely light withdrawal. It makes music sound better and more emotional. This experience is weird.
 

jdfisse

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CJ that is AWESOME! Bupe always worked for me better at low doses. Who cares why you are getting this freedom and who knows how long it will last? The most important thing is that you are in this moment experiencing it. Maybe more intense withdrawal will come, and maybe it won't. This is freaking HUGE!
 

chinup

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really chuffed for you, well done.

i really don't see how even light withdrawals can make things better but who really cares i'm glad its going good. i guess the thing about emotions coming back and if you're channeling them into something you like that could increase enjoyment. i usually just randomly cry on days 4-5 of gear withdrawal.
 

cj

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Yeah maybe I overstated the positive aspect. It's more like looking for silver linings I suppose chinnup.

I couldn't even justify taking Ativan today. Which kinda sucked because I am bored. I don't plan on going to zero until after Christmas. I got too take care of family shit and get my Ativan refilled. But I think 1mg a day is my target. I'm going to skip my dose tonight and see if I can make it until morning.
 

jdfisse

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Why not employ the same advice you have given to others and stabilize yourself at the reduced dose before cutting it even more? I am the same way bro. I give great advice but sometimes struggle to follow it. Today I am very fortunate because I have plenty of guys I have guided through learning how to tackle life without drugs and they can spit some knowledge back at me when I need it and can't see the forest for the trees.
 

Serotonin101

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Try to drop to 0.5 or even 0.25mg per day if possible. The long half life of bupe can make the withdrawal a pain as first day won't feel so badly and won't really peak for a few days. This way it'll be more manageable with other aids to help you sleep. Lack of sleep is always what would crush my spirit.
 

chinup

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Hope you're doing ok cj and yeah I'd echo jdfisse and say stabilise first. And keep looking for silver linings hope you got some sleep
 

cj

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It took 3mg of Ativan and 1500mg of depakote but I slept last night. Under normal circumstances I would take it slow but this is kinda an emergency. I have a colonoscopy on Monday that will determine if I'm dying or not so I'm highly motivated for the colon cleanse out to work. This will be my third day at 1mg. I'm feeling ok so I think I'm through the worst of it. And if I'm not I still have enough Ativan for 2 more days though I can tell that I'm flirting with benzo dependency.

But your right I am better at giving advice then taking it.
 

cj

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Haha well it happened boys. I broke and took 2mg today. The 1mg I took this morning just wore off and I was sick and getting sicker. Im going to stay at 2mg until I reup my ativan on the 20th. I could of kept going if I had more Ativan but whatever.
 

Captain.Heroin

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it's ok man don't think too bad about yourself

toward the end of my taper I was doing about 5x 0.1mg iv which is probably similar to the 0.6mg you're getting out of 2mg sublingual when you factor in BA

it's hard to go lower than that, it really is. When I jumped from that I was in so much pain for so long.
 

Serotonin101

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it's ok man don't think too bad about yourself

toward the end of my taper I was doing about 5x 0.1mg iv which is probably similar to the 0.6mg you're getting out of 2mg sublingual when you factor in BA

it's hard to go lower than that, it really is. When I jumped from that I was in so much pain for so long.
Once I got below 2mg sublingual it became a real challenge. Seems to be the case for a lot of people.

Stay strong cj. You'll get there.
 

jdfisse

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It took 3mg of Ativan and 1500mg of depakote but I slept last night. Under normal circumstances I would take it slow but this is kinda an emergency. I have a colonoscopy on Monday that will determine if I'm dying or not so I'm highly motivated for the colon cleanse out to work. This will be my third day at 1mg. I'm feeling ok so I think I'm through the worst of it. And if I'm not I still have enough Ativan for 2 more days though I can tell that I'm flirting with benzo dependency.

But your right I am better at giving advice then taking it.
We all are better at giving advice than taking our own. It is ok. I am sorry to hear that you are in this fear inducing situation. I believe that the majority of us are here for you. You have done an incredible job getting to this point. Let us know how the scope goes today.
 

EPL1

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You'll get there cj. No worries, you're doing a bang up job, I hope you know that.

I am proud of you as I always will be. Try to be kind and patient with yourself. You will get where you want to be, you're the best!!

Please update us about the scope when you can. I wish you the best today and everyday cj.

Love you my dear friend,
here for you always,
your friend,
Ash.
 

cj

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I had the scope this morning. I'm not dying. Just have extremely bad hemeroiods. I'm going to stick at 2mg a day for awhile to stabilize now. At least until after Christmas.

Thanks for the well wishes. I've learned that getting from 8mg to 2mg isn't terrible with the right meds but it gets way harder after that.
 

jdfisse

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I have several significant prolapses from my long-term opioid use. Goes with the territory. Hour long sessions on the can feeling like I am passing a brick and being so proud then looking in the bowl and seeing a rabbit pellet. Man I am grateful today! I used to love the liquid glycerin suppositories. Plug 'em. Hold em for 15 minutes as directions stated...good luck making it past 30 seconds lol. Going below 2 is not as hard as the powerful brain is making it. It is exceptionally difficult if you don't stabilize though. Thank you for updating us on your health!
 
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