I believe Adderall has finally made me lose my mind

[dopamimetic]

Drugs really hit different people differently. I know what you experience a bit, but ... then I'd just cease use. You're too deep into dopamine addiction right now. Cut the dosage down, not cold turkey, but really low.. go get some OTC doxylamine or diphenhydramine from the pharmacy so that you can sleep at night (and just take the dosage as directed, wait for it to work or you'll end up seeing pink elephants!) and titrate down.. the lowest dosage that works for you so that you're not horrifically dysphoric and anxious but not obsessed and tachycardic either.

 

[Ziiirp]

It is not recreation, but rather constant pressure , that drives this addiction. To ttake care of everything for everyone and do it seemingly perfect. I feel like need to be superhuman to do that .. No one person can accomplish all I have to do in one day and no matter the fact that I accomplish things (most of the time) I am doing the work of 10 men and all people ask is what else can you do for me. I don't understand it, it's never good enough. I feel like my life is passing me by. Stress kills me ... Makes me want to pull my hair out daily. Taking the adderall allows me to completely check out , everything is right with the world and my life.

If it is your employer that imposes such a workload on you, then I would consider switching your job, before you end up mentally and physically wrecked. I mean you mentioned, you already have blackouts from dosing too much. You have the power to decide when it is enough, so woman up or it will never end (unless it is temporary project). Once you have shown, that you (your chemically altered self) can cope with such inhuman requirements, they won't step down and expect less from you all of a sudden.

You can stop now (take 2 weeks off and get off that shit) and get out of the situation relatively healthy or continue with that nightmare and be institutionalized in a mental hospital (and that is not even the worst case) soon.

Your health and mental wellbeing is more important than helping some asshole to gain monetary wealth.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

See if your employer will help pay for treatment/rehab, as some places do this.

I agree that getting sober and staying clean/sober from amphetamine and all drugs should be your primary goal right now, and not your job or working overtime. Good luck.

 

[swisscurrie]

http://www.researchgate.net/publica...urotoxic_Effects_of_Amphetamine-Related_Drugs

Animal studies show that mixing Adderall with caffeine can increase the neurotoxic effects of Adderall. Amphetamine psychosis is frequently related to amphetamine neurotoxicity, though this is not always the case.

As others have stated, It sounds like you might be experiencing amphetamine induced psychosis. I would recommend that you stop taking the Adderall or your symptoms could get progressively worse, to a point by which there may be an incomplete recovery, even after you stop with the Adderall.

Unless your symptoms persist after stopping and/or they cause you significant distress, I wouldn't recommend an antipsychotic due to the notorious side effects many of them cause and the lack of evidence demonstrating a better long term outcome with their use. It is controversial saying this though, as if you present yourself to a doctor with florid psychotic symptoms he will prescribe you one.

I recommend you stop completely and see how you feel in a couple of days. If you continue to have problems, contact a mental health practitioner.

 

[SickWithRA]

How do you get 4 prescriptions for the same med?

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

I've also been known to take heroic doses of adderall i.e 300mgs+ IR in a 24hr period but I always make sure to cover all heath parameters.

I never stated that there was a fool proof method albeit there are numerous ways to "somewhat" maintain sanity while experiencing high dose dextroamphetamine.

I have the binges down to a science and actually utilize them to get things done i.e running a business.

Sure sounded like it 8(

I can guarantee you're not the first person who's been under the impression that you have it under control. Hmmm, never heard of people getting stuff done after taking stimulants

Seeing as we still live in the dark ages with respect to understanding the brain, much less how chemicals affect the brain, I'm not sure in what sense you understand your binges as a "science".

 

[EnlightenedOne1]

Sure sounded like it 8(

I can guarantee you're not the first person who's been under the impression that you have it under control. Hmmm, never heard of people getting stuff done after taking stimulants

Seeing as we still live in the dark ages with respect to understanding the brain, much less how chemicals affect the brain, I'm not sure in what sense you understand your binges as a "science".

This is a harm reduction site and ironically the most grandiose of addicts give the best advice. There are numerous protocols and simple lifestyle habits that can really ease the effects during and after dextroamphetamine abuse. There are also scientific studies..One of them cites that there are no fool proof methods of overcoming amp addiction albeit prolonged exercise has shown promising results...I find this to be true. It's also well known that a highly alkalinized body will increase the bioavailability and effectiveness of the drug and an acidic body will metabolize the chemicals faster. I've found this to also be true in my experience.

I'm not trying to dicksize (maybe a little) but I have binged harder on dextroamphetamine at dosages higher than I could even find online. I will refrain from days and amount taken because it makes me full of shame. I know some people who can take a 10mg IR and be suicidal for a few days afterwards. These people usually don't eat well, hydrate, follow a healthy lifestyle etc. They neglect their health even more on adderall which is easy to do...

I'm the worst type of addict and accept it with full admittance... It's either 100% or 0% with me... In reality, I've never had it "under control", but can apparently hide it well ;-).

 

[yacob]

Switch to meth, once you reach psychosis compare that to how you feel now, then you'll know for sure! Joking, don't switch to meth. Eat and sleep, smoke pot instead, then repeat.

seriously though the psychosis from a week long meth binge is something straight out of a horror book, a horror book that makes you want to commit suicide that is

 

[Atmozfears]

I'm getting a prescription soon and this thread kinda made me 2nd-guess it.

 

[ChickLovesSpeed]

@Atmozfears
Please don't ....

 

[ChickLovesSpeed]

How do you get 4 prescriptions for the same med?

Because I am an addict .... I can do things without the normal conscience interfering I suppose... Or fear of any legal repercussions rather. And my doctor (s) are complete morons

I've actually has more than my regular 4 this month .. Just couldn't get that darn dosage right lmao.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

I'm getting a prescription soon and this thread kinda made me 2nd-guess it.

Adderall/Dexedrine can be helpful for ADD/ADHD if you take them in the dose prescribed, and do not abuse or binge on them. The majority of people who are legitimately prescribed Adderall/Dexedrine for ADD, ADHD, or even Narcolepsy do not binge or abuse their medication.

 

[RDP89]

I'm getting a prescription soon and this thread kinda made me 2nd-guess it.

There's nothing wrong with getting a script if you need it and don't have too bad of addictive tendencies. Now getting scripts from multiple docs and buying them off the street as well....that's just askin for trouble. They also can be the best way to go if youre going to use/abuse stims recreationally anyway, as atleast you know dosage and purity...much safer that way. OP though I urge you to seek help asap....abusing at that rate will put you in a coffin sooner or later....likely sooner. Not trying to preach and I'm sure you kno that already. I really hope can get your addiction in order....I know it's not easy trust me.

 

[ChickLovesSpeed]

Well ... I stopped for longer than I have since I started. No choice, ran out .. But the biggest accomplishment for me was buying vitamins, healthy food and L-Tyrosine NOT benzadrex.

I took 3-5 grams of tyrosine and and 200 mgs caffeine and felt at ease.
Rested a lot... Let the dishes and laundry pile up (yuck) but I didn't care. I went out to dinner and ate all kinds of things lol. And. At times I felt a rush of energy and motivation just from the supplements. Wasn't enough to actually DO anything...but just the feeling of motivation was good.

Then I suddenly became narcoleptic almost... The entire holiday week I slept until late afternoon .. I missed appointments and could not wake up for anything. Missed work twice because I slept through the day.
Despite sleep and eating. I became angry and depressed. Almost left my 10 year rrelationship out of the blue, for no reason . he was upstairs sleeping..hadmt done a thing different. But I was so depressed I guess everything looked awful. I literally talked myself out of packing up in the middle of the night and leaving ..

Stupid...

So I decided I'd rather NOT feel full of anger and depression for no reason and it was time for refills yesterday. woke up at 2 pm, took first pills at 3 pm and haven't slept since.

I was going to bed about 4 hours ago its almost 1 a.m. now I was going to bed earlier but then when I finally sat down on the couch after ridiculous homework and studying, reality came calling ... Saying it ain't over yet .. No sleep in you're future ugh
I looked at my MUST do list and I didn't touch the most important things ..

Kids need specific things done before school in the morning ...

the Dinner that I rushed to cook so everyone else could eat while I sped off to an appointment, is still on the stove .. dirty dishes everywhere ... And the dishwasher just broke while I was unloading the clean dishes from earlier.
But they had a good meal so they are all snoring right now..
Oh well I am not sure what to do now.
I'll take a shower real quick and see if I can keep going ...

Maybe if I pass out in the floor they may notice.
Probably just step right over me though
Maybe leave a sticky note or two about what they absolutely must have ASAP

?

Sorry I'm rambling once again.
Maybe I'll finish decorating my Christmas tree ... 3 hours yesterday untangling lights and hanging them alone because the BF was tired. Lmao.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face. But the feeling like it's a big FU to him that I can do anything and still keep going while he's "exhausted" from defending corporate assholes all day. From behind a desk (eye roll) for some reason it feels good to show him my balls are bigger than his ?

Ok that's weird.
To the shower

Will update soon just in case anyone ever reads this lol