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Opioids I Argue In My Head that Roxys Are The PERFECT Anti-depressant... Do You Too?

S

SugarCoatedHigh

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 6, 2015
Messages
9
I posted my addiction story earlier. I convinced myself for the last few years, that I would stop taking my anti-depressant/ anti- anxiety medication, because blues did the trick. The second I blew one, I would feel "happy", energenic, determined, positive, active, social... I felt like the best version of myself. I can't explain it better. I would continue, about 90 mg a day, to keep up the feeling.

Now, that I am teetering with sobriety, I see that they also made me angry, agitative, argumentative...

Does anyone have a similar experience? I am wondering if studies have been done or trials, using opiates or forms of them, in clients with depression.
 
At first they seem to be a panacea for all of life's troubles. Eventually they become the source of all of life's troubles.
 
That's just the monkey on your back talking. We all know you can't take oxy with any kind consistency without developing addiction and losing the positive effects requiring a dosage increase. (And then eventually another increase and another repeat infinitum)

Even if you can limit your usage to avoid tolerance and negative side effects and physical dependence, your probably still going to end up mentally addicted where you obsess over the next time you can use which leads to general poorer performance and motivation for life in general, as your reward system In your brain is actually rewired to consider oxy/opiates to be one of the most important things you prioritize in getting
 
That "it fixes everything " attitude precedes many people's life shattering opiate addiction. I'm a heroin addict (maintaining, not junky BIG DIFFERENCE) I said the same thing when I first hit my MU sweet spot. ;) it's your reward system rewiring And that rewired reward system is what's telling you "you need this to function at peak" (Not quite that simple but ya know) the lack of ability to tolerate real life sober is from having increased dopamine reuptake from your NMDA receptor overworking to compensate for the usual flood of endorphins. Opiates are really only suited for SHORT TERM RELIEF
 
CfZrx said:
Opiates introduced me to super- depression :)
Click to expand...

Yep! I´m still trying to get out of that lethargy after 4 months totally sober from methadone . It gets better with time though.
Have you considered taking any antidepressant?
 
cannabis cowboy said:
That "it fixes everything " attitude precedes many people's life shattering opiate addiction. I'm a heroin addict (maintaining, not junky BIG DIFFERENCE) I said the same thing when I first hit my MU sweet spot. ;) it's your reward system rewiring And that rewired reward system is what's telling you "you need this to function at peak" (Not quite that simple but ya know) the lack of ability to tolerate real life sober is from having increased dopamine reuptake from your NMDA receptor overworking to compensate for the usual flood of endorphins. Opiates are really only suited for SHORT TERM RELIEF
Click to expand...

Maintaining, not junkie big difference? Well what made you have to maintain then lol?
 
It's called a shit load of dopamine release. The problem with that is your even more depressed after use.
 
I was majorly, MAJORLY addicted to opiods and opiates. Most of my mid-late teens and early twenties were spent in a haze of opiates and later, alcohol.

I've been clean, outside of medical necessity, for almost 6 years now.

It's still a bitch and a half some days to not go back to them, because my brain only remembers the good parts. The upbeat, chipper, not-scared-of-everything, productive, active Jade. I totally understand that feeling of being the best you when you're at that peak.

I have to work to remember the bad shit - staring at the bottle and wondering if I could take enough to escape forever. Arguing with everyone when I was coming down. Explosive fights. Crying, screaming, done with all of this shit Jade. She was there, too. It took more than I want to admit to fix my life after some of those incidents.

The withdrawls suck. The daily wanting to grab a pill and go back to drugtown sucks. But it's worth it, in the end, to know that I'm still able to feel that happiness and joy without the opiates, and without dreading the eventual comedown and depression that comes with it.
 
I absolutely do.

But, what you're feeling is, being HIGH.

Obviously when you get a GREAT high you will feel like you're on top of the world.
Everyone wishes they can be on Oxycodone for like, ever! lol

I mean, most opiate addicts would choose a clean Oxycodone high to a heroin high. Unless you know you got the BEST heroin that can't be topped by any other opiate, but that doesn't seem to be the case here in the U.S.A.

Depression and Anxiety comes from W/D from the Oxycodone.
So, the oxy would absolutely counter-act the depression / anxiety and your whole W/D, because you're in W/D from the oxy in the first place! haha (not saying you're in oxy w.d, just using this as an example)
 
I dont argue that oxy is the best antidepressant..i know that it is.for me at least..but i never got suicidalidealizations from my depression till after i stopped opiates..woohoo
 
Getting angry, disagreeing, argumentative, and just more disrespectful comes with opiate use. The fact you notice it shows that is is becoming a problem. Trust me as well 90 mg a day of oxycodone can easily get higher as well as be quite a pain to get off. Tread carefully
 
Remembering the bad parts is what becomes more faint as time goes on, and only the good parts come through. That's how I ended up back at it.
 
pinpoint said:
At first they seem to be a panacea for all of life's troubles. Eventually they become the source of all of life's troubles.
Click to expand...

This.

If you're depressed get help for it, and don't keep using opiates since it won't help, and you will wind up addicted if you're not already. Good luck.
 
Laugh if you must, but as I approach 54 years (almost 40 in pain and major depression)...I ask the proverbial chicken/egg question. That prompted my introduction post here at BL entitled "Chicken Shit to Continue PM".

I enrolled in Pain Management through my local hospital in early 2014. I had seen 8 or 9 specialists across 3 states in late 2013, only to be told "We can do nothing more for you. You are old and arthritic. Seek PM". Truth is that IMO they know I have residual disease consuming my organs. The chemotherapy in my 30's savaged my bones/spine. They won't touch me for fear of killing me (malpractice issues, I suppose) though I would happily sign wavers. I've been written off to pasture.

So HERE I am...Trials of Morphine, Oxycodone and Fentanyl have failed me during these 18 mos. All were tried individually so any success with pain relief could be measured. My GI can't tolerate the Morphine. The Fentanyl patches did not absorb properly. The Oxycodone scares the HELL out of me.

Yes, the initial doses made me feel fanfuckingtastic! Strangely, the pain was still palpable but I felt like there was SUNSHINE and happiness I had been missing all along. Next day I felt more intense pain and agitated. I broke the pills into 1/4s to perhaps slow the rise in tolerance. I'm not gonna lie...IF I COULD feel that feeling without ramping dosage, I would not hesitate to take Oxycodone 15 mg every 4-6 hours as prescribed. I've read enough that I know better.

It took a lot of soul-searching for me to surrender to PM. I finally said "Self...It's risky either way. If I don't get some modicum of relief from this 24/7 pain, I will take my own so-called life. If I take the opiates, perhaps I can actually live my life, or what's left of it."

Yea...GREAT anti-depressant. But do I stick with the devil I know...:!
 
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P builder, got my dose to both a functional and financially responsible level. "Chronic pain" patient. Convinced myself that I could be on a cloud and it wouldn't catch up. Switched to something cheaper changed my behavior, on my way to a zero taper. Just defending dignity ;p and trying to save someone from the delusion that almost damned me.
 
Thanks, CC...That "delusion" weighs heavy on my mind. So does the detailed plan of exit I've kept close to my vest since my early 30's.

I no longer maintain "hope" that my health will get better. Nope, this is as good as it gets. :|
 
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