i've been using opiates on and off for the past 4 and a half years, since i was 18. of course i started with oxy and opana then those got expensive so i moved to heroin. since i first touched the drug i've been clean way more time than i've been on, but still, i've been addicted for months and months at a time throughout these 4 and a half years.
i just went down the wrong path with this shit, and not long after i started i realized that it actually takes your soul. you're not you. you don't feel. nothing excites you, you dont enjoy anything, and you dont wanna do anything but this fucking drug. i'm sure i dont have to tell you guys. i don't even wanna get started on the shitty and selfish things i've done to get high.
i'm extremely proud of myself for being able to mark today as my 36th day clean from heroin. these past 3-4 months was my most intense relapse to date. where i live now, dope is so cheap, so pure, and so available. that meant the frequency of my usage and my doses were ridiculous. it has not been easy getting clean with PAWS and everything, but i'm getting through it and i'm in a great state of mind right now with absolutely no cravings. i'm constantly pushing myself out of my comfort zone to continue being productive in order to achieve my goals.
i think about heroin sometimes, but then the thought of doing it and being high off heroin and just everything that comes along with it just repulses me; i don't want to feel that way ever again. i'll always remember my last few doses, and how dirty and shitty i felt.
my experience with opiates over these past 4 and a half years has not been pretty but overall i think it taught me a lot. about life, and how shitty it can get. about people, and how they can lose all self respect and dignity. it taught me about the street, it taught me to open my eyes, but most importantly it taught me about myself.
i was a fucking slave to opiates -- but now that's history
i just went down the wrong path with this shit, and not long after i started i realized that it actually takes your soul. you're not you. you don't feel. nothing excites you, you dont enjoy anything, and you dont wanna do anything but this fucking drug. i'm sure i dont have to tell you guys. i don't even wanna get started on the shitty and selfish things i've done to get high.
i'm extremely proud of myself for being able to mark today as my 36th day clean from heroin. these past 3-4 months was my most intense relapse to date. where i live now, dope is so cheap, so pure, and so available. that meant the frequency of my usage and my doses were ridiculous. it has not been easy getting clean with PAWS and everything, but i'm getting through it and i'm in a great state of mind right now with absolutely no cravings. i'm constantly pushing myself out of my comfort zone to continue being productive in order to achieve my goals.
i think about heroin sometimes, but then the thought of doing it and being high off heroin and just everything that comes along with it just repulses me; i don't want to feel that way ever again. i'll always remember my last few doses, and how dirty and shitty i felt.
my experience with opiates over these past 4 and a half years has not been pretty but overall i think it taught me a lot. about life, and how shitty it can get. about people, and how they can lose all self respect and dignity. it taught me about the street, it taught me to open my eyes, but most importantly it taught me about myself.
i was a fucking slave to opiates -- but now that's history
