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Health HPPD from DMT?

Vega89

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 13, 2016
Messages
25
I need advice.

My first experience with DMT was 6 months ago. I was a heavy heroin user and my connect was out. I called a few friends and finally found someone who knew where to get something to ease withdrawal. So, I drive over, buy some whitish powder, park at the gas station and cook it in the spoon. We (me & friends) pretty much hit ourselves at the same time. As soon as I finished pushing it in, my friend says “DONT DO IT! ITS NOT RIGHHHTTTTTTTTTTT” and his voice started fading away as I shot out of my body straight through the universe. There was no sense of time or reality or even my body. I instantly knew I had fucked up BAD. I was literally a ball of light, energy. After flying through space, I felt like I soared past the universe all the way to the end where there was absolutely nothing but blackness. I felt like there was something I needed to remember but just couldn’t grasp it. Then, it’s like I suddenly realized that absolutely NOTHING is real. There is no planet, no stars no reality. There is only my consciousness, and there has ALWAYS only been my consciousness. I’ve always been alone, in a dark void of nothing. I felt like a ball of light rolling at a million miles an hour wishing I could find the body I used to be in and go back to the blissful ignorance of not knowing this true reality. Every once and a while I would find it and slam back into my body before promptly getting ripped out again. After the 3rd time of leaving my body, I started seeing every decision I had ever made and what would’ve happened if I had made a different decision- I was suddenly every person that had ever lived, experiencing their lives at super speed. It was happy, painful, terrifying, peaceful and every other emotion in rapid succession.

The whole thing lasted about an hour but felt like a million years. I couldn’t function for a month afterward, scared to death I’d be ripped out my body again. It felt like my soul didn’t fit in my body anymore, everything was foreign and like it was only hanging on by a thread. I felt like I knew the secret of existence and wanted to forget it.

Since that experience, I’ve been experiencing severe PTSD. At least once a day, I get a feeling all over my body and feel the experience beginning again. Like every nerve in my body wakes up and I have to mentally talk myself down, that its not real, I’m safe in my body, the drugs are out my system and it’s impossible for me to get ripped out again. I honestly think I have permanently broken my brain.

I went to a doctor and she diagnosed PTSD and social anxiety disorder (two things I absolutely did not have before this trip). I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to fix this.

The only positive from this is that it 100% cured my opioid addiction. Before dmt I was doing up to 2 grams a day. I haven’t touched it since. It reset my brain in that way. I have zero desire or physical need to do it on top of being terrified of ever putting anything in my veins again. Have I broken my brain forever?
 
The effects of the dmt trip will last 3 months at most for me it's 3-5 weeks
I wouldn't be surprised if you picked up using again shrooms last 3months for me I'd try them if I were you
 
It wasn’t DMT. DMT almost exclusively is sold as the freebase, and isn’t soluble in water nor easily injectable in its freebase state. The experience would have been shorter than an hour as well.

It could have been 5-MeO-DMT which is often sold as the HCl, it’s also been reported that 5-MeO can cause people to give up all drugs from one fucked up experience. It was either that or some other random RC, either way that’s pretty fucked up someone sold you that. I wonder if they thought they were doing you a favor?

-GC
 
It wasn’t DMT. DMT almost exclusively is sold as the freebase, and isn’t soluble in water nor easily injectable in its freebase state. The experience would have been shorter than an hour as well.

It could have been 5-MeO-DMT which is often sold as the HCl, it’s also been reported that 5-MeO can cause people to give up all drugs from one fucked up experience. It was either that or some other random RC, either way that’s pretty fucked up someone sold you that. I wonder if they thought they were doing you a favor?

-GC
When we called the guy and told him what happened, he said “oh my bad, I’ll give u some for free next time” which was insane because there is no way in hell I’d ever go to him again- or to anyone else for that matter. We kind of assumed it was DMT based off what the people that were with me said. I’d never heard of it until this happened and I’ve never done a psychedelic drug before.
On one hand, yea, I’m glad I don’t crave dope anymore but at what cost? I’m not sure what’s worse. I’m so scared I’ll never go back to ‘normal’. 6 months and it hasn’t gotten better.
 
Remember to your dealing with the PAWS of Heroin as well, you may have gotten away from the cravings but I’m sure the other withdrawal symptoms are still there to some extent. Give yourself time to heal, exercise, proper diet, etc.

Also I suggest using and doing things which cause neurogenesis. Running, fish oil/omega 3’s, and cannabinoids just to name a few.

-GC
 
This was most def 5-meo dmt as the effects line up one hour duration from IV and total ego death and infinite experince. You will be fine get out in nature meditation exercise. The experince has shattered your world view that is what 5meo does its the god molecule for a reason. You have awoken to a deeper experince of reality so far beyond your imagination. It is hard to accpect the cold hard truths of the 5meo-dmt experince but it is beautiful your brain and soul are still in the afterglow of the experince wanting to reach out and transcend reality. Ground yourself and all things will be okay.
 
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This was most def 5-meo dmt as the effects line up one hour duration from IV and total ego death and infinite experince. You will be fine get out in nature meditation exercise. The experince has shattered your world view that is what 5meo does its the god molecule for a reason. You have awoken to a deeper experince of reality so far beyond your imagination. It is hard to accpect the cold hard truths of the 5meo-dmt experince but it is beautiful your brain and soul are still in the afterglow of the experince wanting to reach out and transcend reality. Ground yourself and all things will be okay.
Thank you! You’re so right- that’s EXACTLY what happened. I will try to get more involved in life again and find something to ground me instead of being afraid to leave home. Do you believe that the experience was.. truth? That it was a real place- if you can even call it a place.. was that what life truly is?


G_Chem- thank you! I can’t believe I didn’t think of PAWS myself. Dealing with that on top of having my reality ripped away without expecting it has been a lot to handle. I’ll try getting out there & exercising, etc.
 
Start exercising! Get into eating healthy. Start drawing/painting. I promise nothing is gonna rip you outta your body again unless you IV 5-meo-DMT again. I feel firmly rooted in my body even when I'm on acid or mushrooms breakthrough DMT type trips are something else! I would never wanna break through via mistake! Talk about a hell of a mix up.
 
Start exercising! Get into eating healthy. Start drawing/painting. I promise nothing is gonna rip you outta your body again unless you IV 5-meo-DMT again. I feel firmly rooted in my body even when I'm on acid or mushrooms breakthrough DMT type trips are something else! I would never wanna break through via mistake! Talk about a hell of a mix up.
Tell me about it! Especially since I had ZERO experience with psychedelics. It isn’t something you want to do by mistake or without warning. It’s a complete reboot of your brain changing every single thing you thought you knew about life. Even time itself is an illusion.
 
Parts of what you experienced are real, some are not.. It’s that headfuck and discernment that both drives people crazy as well keeps them coming back in regards to psychedelics.

You likely went back to “the source” the godhead where you are everything and everyone yet nothing at the same time. It feels different for different people, and on different psychedelics.

All psychedelics tend to bring you into connection with this “source” that seems to the energy which emanates between all things. It can feel lonely when you suddenly realize that everyone is also “you.” For me it was a sense of peace and further love for those around me cuz I now can see a piece of myself in everyone else. Coming to understand this connectedness can show itself in many forms.

You likely are dealing with PTSD though from the event as well. Time, neurogenesis and maybe something like MDMA therapy could help.

-GC
 
Time, walks in nature, and good sleep hygiene will help. Accidental IV 5-MeO-DMT is a hell of a mixup! Still, the PAWS on top of processing that is lot all at once, but there's good chance that over time you'll be able to take away positive life changes from that intense experience.
 
As G-chem said some is real and parts of our mind and the collective mind of the human species fills in the inbetween. These experinces on 5-meo i have seen it cure meth addictions aswell from one trip in a similar trip taking my friend ten years into the future across the infinite ocean showing every choice he had made which scared him and made him stop and become sober. I always ground myself by taking walks in the park/forest or nature i truly believe walking in nature gets our mind off thinking about things espically since four walls around you your thoughts just bounce off them driving you more crazy.
 
Parts of what you experienced are real, some are not.. It’s that headfuck and discernment that both drives people crazy as well keeps them coming back in regards to psychedelics.

You likely went back to “the source” the godhead where you are everything and everyone yet nothing at the same time. It feels different for different people, and on different psychedelics.

All psychedelics tend to bring you into connection with this “source” that seems to the energy which emanates between all things. It can feel lonely when you suddenly realize that everyone is also “you.” For me it was a sense of peace and further love for those around me cuz I now can see a piece of myself in everyone else. Coming to understand this connectedness can show itself in many forms.

You likely are dealing with PTSD though from the event as well. Time, neurogenesis and maybe something like MDMA therapy could help.

-GC
That is exactly what I experienced. The thought of it just being me and every living thing being a fractal of one soul instead of us all having individual souls freaks me out. I think once I can work through accepting what happened and getting a handle on the fear & anxiety of losing my body again, I will be ok. I honestly think I could’ve enjoyed the experience if I had been prepared and knew ahead of time what I was doing. Sadly, that’s not what happened. I really appreciate everyone’s help and encouragement. It’s nice being able to talk about the experience with other people who have been there. I haven’t told hardly anyone what I went through because it sounds insane. I figured they would write it off as a hallucination and become uninterested but it is so so so much more than that.
 
That's some seriously heavy stuff right there who on earth would pass off a potent psychedelic like 5-MeO-DMT as an opiate. Couldn't imagine how scary it must have been thinking your about to get a heroin rush and instead blast of to the center of the universe, wow. Guy who gave that to you is fucking nuts and god forbid you were driving and tied off like I would from time to time. Sorry it's been so difficult to integrate that's a compound even some seasoned psychedelic users find difficult, I for instance have declined taking it personally.

On the other hand would rather opt for regular DMT if I was looking for a hardcore psychedelic rush. I've also found that using the 4 subs intravenously could cause similar breakthrough like experiences. I'd had a really intense trip on 25mgs of 4-AcO-DMT and tho heavily psychedelic and ego dissolving I could imagine something like a 80-100mg shot like he could possibly have given you would shatter your whole universe, even right after I pushed the plunger down with 25mgs it was straight swirly town and the morphing of reality thru the gateway to hyperspace.

It gave me some worrying chest pains the days leading after so I didn't investigate the Avenue furthur, it's really wild tho. Had probably ten experiences with the IV use of 4-HO-MET which as you could imagine is incredibly visual and with 20-25mgs its fractals everywhere and impossible to see thru the visuals, but the ego remains intact but in a deeply psychedelic headspace in euphoric bliss, laid back on the bed for hours. Shooting up Tryptamines can be really rewarding in the right circumstances.
 
That's some seriously heavy stuff right there who on earth would pass off a potent psychedelic like 5-MeO-DMT as an opiate. Couldn't imagine how scary it must have been thinking your about to get a heroin rush and instead blast of to the center of the universe, wow. Guy who gave that to you is fucking nuts and god forbid you were driving and tied off like I would from time to time. Sorry it's been so difficult to integrate that's a compound even some seasoned psychedelic users find difficult, I for instance have declined taking it personally.

Yea, I wouldn’t even do what he did to me to an enemy. I choose to believe he didn’t know. He didn’t use, only sold so maybe it truly was a mistake. Regardless, it literally changed my life. My husband and I call my daily episodes “brain attacks” where I get tingly all over and feel like I’m vibrating. My thoughts will start going to what I can only describe as a circular way of thinking. Sometimes I relive the event so strongly that I honest to God have to force my consciousness to stay in reality and not let my thoughts go shooting through the stratosphere. My heart will race violently and I can hardly breathe. It’s like no matter how hard I try to take a deep breath, the air just isn’t satisfying- like it’s not absorbing properly. When I have these ‘brain attacks’ sometimes I know what’s going on but sometimes I don’t. I’ve been told my eyes go blank, like nobody’s home and I won’t respond to anything for a minute or two. It never lasts long at all, but sucks nonetheless. Doctor put me on lexapro and a medication for tachycardia (for when my pulse goes crazy), but it hasn’t done anything at all. I wonder sometimes if Benzos would help.
 
Benzos can help with hppd to a degree and stop the anxiety around it. I would say if you experince these things to lie down on a bed if you are at home and let go for a little bit.
 
Chamomile tea (make it really strong) is a good option if you for whatever reason want to avoid benzos and alcohol. But yeah some GABA action might be good.
 
Chamomile tea (make it really strong) is a good option if you for whatever reason want to avoid benzos and alcohol. But yeah some GABA action might be good.
Do you have experience with gabapentin? I have some.. maybe it would help. I haven’t tried it.
 
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