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Seriousish How to become a selfish asshole?

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Quickfixgrrl

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May 9, 2019
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You sound like an empath. Which isn't a bad thing.
I've felt similar to you ever since I can remember. I'm not sure how old you are, but somewhere along the way, something just clicks. I call myself jaded now, because after being kind, reliable and even meek at times, the worse people treated me and took advantage of my good natured spirit.
I feel extreme guilt when I believe I haven't done or said something another person has wanted me to. Being too loyal and realising that the favour was never returned, changed me. In my early to mid 30's I finally began trying to retrain my actions and reactions. It feels unnatural to essentially go against everything you are made up of at your core, but at the end of the day, I learned one thing: Fuck other people. Sounds harsh and I certainly haven't become an asshole, but I have managed to accept that it's NOT ok to allow anyone to treat me like shit.
It could stem from low self esteem or a lack of self worth; people can rip the fundamentals of your empathetic nature to shreds if you display weakness.
It's not easy. In fact, letting go of negative and soul destroying people in my life was the hardest thing I've ever done. I could just say "you need to value yourself and put yourself first" but I can't possibly explain how. It's ingrained in our personalities. Many factors forced me to reevaluate myself and my behaviour and I can definitely say that once you've made a conscious decision to no longer allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat, the sense of pride and freedom is second to none.
I can now stand up for myself. In fact, I embrace this powerful trait.
It's unfortunate that I had to go through years of bullshit to finally become who I am today, but I guess without those experiences I'd still be a pushover.
I've learnt through therapy that it's ok to still feel compassion and empathy, but that doesn't have to equal weakness.
 

Iceman1216

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Joined
Feb 27, 2019
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320
Location
North East - Long Island
My kids dad and I were talking about this last night.
All the kids from high school (we were high school sweethearts nawww) who were AWFUL human beings at the time (bullies, stepped on each other’s heads in order to get ahead, basically assholes) are now in a GREAT position in life, almost finished paying off their first/second home, good jobs, young family everything seems peachy.

Then there’s us. We gave and still give the shirt off our backs to someone who looked like they might need it more, took in street kids and kids who were being abused at home and gave them the best start in life we could manage.
Where are we after 24 years of that?
Living pay to pay, sigh of relief when the rents covered without drama and 2010 was the last vacation we took.

We mused over this for some time and then resolved that we both sleep better at night for the life we have had.
No regrets, I’m stoked I’m not an asshole.
Plus, that kind of personality raises good kids. The other raises kids everyone wants to choke.
Hey , I ran in that life for a long time, Wall Street, great schools, and for kids as well, big house, but there is usually debt some where Trust me , and A lot of it. Selfish, self centered has One HUGE PROBLEM, you are Never happy or have enough!!!! It’s a disease of MORE, what’s next???
I have learned that I feel the Best when I Help someone else. That is what God put us on this earth to do. That is how mankind improves. A selfish person I’d NEVER SATISFIED
 

SS373dOH

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I call myself jaded now, because after being kind, reliable and even meek at times, the worse people treated me and took advantage of my good natured spirit.

It's unfortunate that I had to go through years of bullshit to finally become who I am today, but I guess without those experiences I'd still be a pushover.
Doormat ? Is that you ?
 

Meth novice 79

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
441
Hey , I ran in that life for a long time, Wall Street, great schools, and for kids as well, big house, but there is usually debt some where Trust me , and A lot of it. Selfish, self centered has One HUGE PROBLEM, you are Never happy or have enough!!!! It’s a disease of MORE, what’s next???
I have learned that I feel the Best when I Help someone else. That is what God put us on this earth to do. That is how mankind improves. A selfish person I’d NEVER SATISFIED
Very well said.
 

MonkeysOnEcstacy

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Aug 28, 2019
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Jah bless
OP, I used to feel similar and then I stopped. I don't know what else to tell you if this is a frfr post. Other than, stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. The sooner you recognize that you are better able help others by helping yourself than I dunno what to tell you.

Its an unfortunate thing for people who are built like us, this system into which we've been born. But it is (unfortunately) the case. So either keep up your current pace and let the others drain you dry or start looking out for number one... Oddly enough I think I first realized this on an ego melting dose of dark rooms, silence, and heavy doses of mushrooms


No wonder @We are all ONE (WaaO) was such a prick

That guy got it
 
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Atelier3

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 28, 2019
Messages
141
You think the opium wars ever ended?

History will ultimately look at those first two wars as battles and the knockout punch will be China winning with a well known synthesis of fentanyl....
I'm totally convinced that Chinese drug exports are State sanctioned at the highest level. The Chinese have a keen sense of history (and retribution)
 

MonkeysOnEcstacy

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 28, 2019
Messages
589
Location
Jah bless
There are 3 types o ppl in this world

Dicks, pussies, and assholes

You can be worried about being a pussy so you try to be an asshole but that won't work be ause you really need to be a dick unless you like getting fucked
 
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