Stimulants How not to look like a tweaker

[Jabberwocky]

I think one of the biggest giveaways at work even for generally functional addicts would be stereotypy: getting obsessively stuck in a looping action or thought and just not moving and staring at something while you ruminate on it. Usually your screen or your phone. Often when you just duck into the toilet for a minute but get lost scrolling through BL for 3 hours.

 

[tweakerguy]

Often when you just duck into the toilet for a minute but get lost scrolling through BL for 3 hours.

Bluelight's a whole set of problems on its own, don't get me started

 

[Oleander]

I think one of the biggest giveaways at work even for generally functional addicts would be stereotypy: getting obsessively stuck in a looping action or thought and just not moving and staring at something while you ruminate on it. Usually your screen or your phone. Often when you just duck into the toilet for a minute but get lost scrolling through BL for 3 hours.

The looping is a big problem at work so I’m really trying not to do it at work anymore

 

[Oleander]

The girl in that video is an extreme case, and you don't seem to fall in that category, as I doubt someone behaving like that would be asking for advice on here.

That said, unless (or until) you've got a significant chunk of experience with meth, i would STRONGLY advise not indulging on work days. Or just keeping it to a bare minimum. Resist conversation as much as possible, avoid bathroom breaks, be mindful of how fast you perform tasks, and one big one is knowing how you present yourself to different coworkers when not on meth and adjust accordingly. You'd be surprised how much people will notice little changes in your behavior that you overlook.

AVOID VIEWING YOURSELF FROM AN OUTSIDE PERSPECTIVE.
Once you get even a little suspicion that someone suspects you're on something, whether imagined or not, you will become locked into this hyper self-awareness that causes you to view your own actions as if under a microscope.
At that point it is almost impossible to break out of and it snowballs into a very visible panic attack.


As far as the relationship stuff, my name's Paul, and that's between y'all

Thank you. We are working on it so it’s ok right now. He has just never done any street drugs and knows that I have a history with them and just wants the best for me. He doesn’t stop me or controls it or whatever, just looking out for me. But he is coming around to it more now it seems thankfully

 

[tweakerguy]

Thank you. We are working on it so it’s ok right now. He has just never done any street drugs and knows that I have a history with them and just wants the best for me. He doesn’t stop me or controls it or whatever, just looking out for me. But he is coming around to it more now it seems thankfully

Awesome. Just be mindful that hard drugs inevitably destroy relationships. At best they never help things, i mean.

 

[Joey]

I have been in this exact situation recently. What I’ve done is I’ve told my boyfriend the truth, and I’ve been cutting back for a quit on the meth because it does make me crazy and I’ll never look like anything but what I am. If I’m going crazy, there is no way to not be that for the time, even if I act perfectly normally on the outside. No way I do though. Still have my job and whatnot but flat out my behaviours would be different on any given day if I was sober.

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

Stimulants definitely blurr inhibition like alcohol. They make you euphoric and care-free/energized. For sure people can discern if you are on a substantial dose of stims and I've had many people stare at me wondering what's going on when I'm on quite a high dose of adderall lol.

OP if the paranoia from being high around your boyfriend is severe then it's just going to defeat the point of recreational usage. You'll constantly be freaking out about whether he can tell if you are high or not and that's not really fun lol. I'm not sure how it's been going though so far.

 

[Oleander]

Awesome. Just be mindful that hard drugs inevitably destroy relationships. At best they never help things, i mean.

I completely understand and that’s why I was worrying because I had an awful heroin addiction for a few years that messed up a lot of relationships and some are still recovering. That’s what I was scared of, because he knows my past and he’s never really seen me in active addiction but he obviously doesn’t want me to get there.

I have been in this exact situation recently. What I’ve done is I’ve told my boyfriend the truth, and I’ve been cutting back for a quit on the meth because it does make me crazy and I’ll never look like anything but what I am. If I’m going crazy, there is no way to not be that for the time, even if I act perfectly normally on the outside. No way I do though. Still have my job and whatnot but flat out my behaviours would be different on any given day if I was sober.

Stimulants definitely blurr inhibition like alcohol. They make you euphoric and care-free/energized. For sure people can discern if you are on a substantial dose of stims and I've had many people stare at me wondering what's going on when I'm on quite a high dose of adderall lol.

OP if the paranoia from being high around your boyfriend is severe then it's just going to defeat the point of recreational usage. You'll constantly be freaking out about whether he can tell if you are high or not and that's not really fun lol. I'm not sure how it's been going though so far.

Well things are ok now because I’m only doing it a couple of times a week because I don’t want it to get out of hand and I’m trying to have some control. He definitely knows I’m high because I say I’m getting shit and he knows when I go to the bathroom I’m doing it. Idk it’s not a perfect situation but honestly I’d rather get high like this than not at all. Or be completely out of control like I used to be and be such a burden or a mess he wants nothing to do with me, which is what I’m trying to avoid

 

[Joey]

I completely understand and that’s why I was worrying because I had an awful heroin addiction for a few years that messed up a lot of relationships and some are still recovering. That’s what I was scared of, because he knows my past and he’s never really seen me in active addiction but he obviously doesn’t want me to get there.



Well things are ok now because I’m only doing it a couple of times a week because I don’t want it to get out of hand and I’m trying to have some control. He definitely knows I’m high because I say I’m getting shit and he knows when I go to the bathroom I’m doing it. Idk it’s not a perfect situation but honestly I’d rather get high like this than not at all. Or be completely out of control like I used to be and be such a burden or a mess he wants nothing to do with me, which is what I’m trying to avoid

Harm reduction is a perfectly viable plan for drug use, but being honest with your boyfriend should be cardinal shouldn’t it? I was scared too, but it was okay. If I continue down this path there will be no relationship, and if those are the needs he has then if I continue down this path we shouldn’t be together anyway right?

It’s good for now though. Honesty is the best policy in having a significant other when it comes to being under the influence or not, really. If you’re not sound of mind (what meth user truly is) you could at least be up front about it. He might be more accepting of it than you think. If not, what will happen whether that’s breakup or a simple conflict of opinion is probably what needs to happen. You’re just prolonging the inevitable.

 

[Oleander]

Harm reduction is a perfectly viable plan for drug use, but being honest with your boyfriend should be cardinal shouldn’t it? I was scared too, but it was okay. If I continue down this path there will be no relationship, and if those are the needs he has then if I continue down this path we shouldn’t be together anyway right?

It’s good for now though. Honesty is the best policy in having a significant other when it comes to being under the influence or not, really. If you’re not sound of mind (what meth user truly is) you could at least be up front about it. He might be more accepting of it than you think. If not, what will happen whether that’s breakup or a simple conflict of opinion is probably what needs to happen. You’re just prolonging the inevitable.

Thanks I completely agree and am mostly honest about my using and I try very hard to be honest with him. I like that he doesn’t get high and has no desire and I just get scared him seeing me like this will turn him away or I’ll change eventually and lose him, which would devastate me. I guess it’s just me being cautious because I know what using does to relationships in the past and I’m trying very hard not to have that happen again. Thank you though

 

[Joey]

Thanks I completely agree and am mostly honest about my using and I try very hard to be honest with him. I like that he doesn’t get high and has no desire and I just get scared him seeing me like this will turn him away or I’ll change eventually and lose him, which would devastate me. I guess it’s just me being cautious because I know what using does to relationships in the past and I’m trying very hard not to have that happen again. Thank you though

Yeah I get that. Hopefully things will work out for you. I’ve lost relationships and lots of other things to this too, it’s hard to be in this vulnerable position and it is tough to beat the meth too. I’ve been using all year pretty well, and it’s fucked me up bad many times. Still can’t get it right though I’m trying in that direction.

 

[Oleander]

Yeah I get that. Hopefully things will work out for you. I’ve lost relationships and lots of other things to this too, it’s hard to be in this vulnerable position and it is tough to beat the meth too. I’ve been using all year pretty well, and it’s fucked me up bad many times. Still can’t get it right though I’m trying in that direction.

I understand and totally feel for you. I was being honest with him that I don’t feel the same way for crystal that I did for heroin or even coke and I was completely honest. Not saying that that can’t change but rn it’s definitely different than the past years with other drugs. I think I’m not in the position rn to completely dive into meth, but I know that can happen in a instant because it’s happened other times. Just trying to keep some balance and enjoy it a couple of times a week and still keep some sort of sanity honestly

 

[Jabberwocky]

While we are on the topic of dating a non-user, I reckon users can really only be with other users. However, a relationship between two users inevitably becomes completely dysfunctional. So the inevitability of being a user is that your best partner is your DOC.

 

[Joey]

While we are on the topic of dating a non-user, I reckon users can really only be with other users. However, a relationship between two users inevitably becomes completely dysfunctional. So the inevitability of being a user is that your best partner is your DOC.

Sad but probably true unless you have the most accepting partner possible. I was just telling mine today that maybe I’m not ready for this relationship with him, because with this addiction whatever I do, whether it’s continue to use or get clean, I have to take care of it. I’ve got so much shit going on and so many problems that maybe it’s not the best way to go although I really don’t want to lose him...

(Especially if he can’t live with it in a relationship to begin with. I’m putting him at risk...)

 

[Oleander]

While we are on the topic of dating a non-user, I reckon users can really only be with other users. However, a relationship between two users inevitably becomes completely dysfunctional. So the inevitability of being a user is that your best partner is your DOC.

i do think about this because they understand more what your feeling or whatever but i was into a relationship with my ex and we were both heroin addicts as well as coke and it was one of the worst relationships I’ve ever been in. It was only ever about drugs and completely changed once we got into heroin together. I would like for him to maybe get high occasionally but in all honesty if I was dating a user again and using with them, it would ultimately let me completely unleash on drugs and not care what he thinks, which is what I don’t want to happen. Dating users usually means sharing drugs which I hate and fights about who used more which is pointless and I hated every minute of it. Just my opinion because of what happened before

 

[Oleander]

i do think about this because they understand more what your feeling or whatever but i was into a relationship with my ex and we were both heroin addicts as well as coke and it was one of the worst relationships I’ve ever been in. It was only ever about drugs and completely changed once we got into heroin together. I would like for him to maybe get high occasionally but in all honesty if I was dating a user again and using with them, it would ultimately let me completely unleash on drugs and not care what he thinks, which is what I don’t want to happen. Dating users usually means sharing drugs which I hate and fights about who used more which is pointless and I hated every minute of it. Just my opinion because of what happened before

Or even when you use together it’s a competition about who is getting more high or who bought it last time or anything. It’s easier just using on my own in my experience

 

[Joey]

Or even when you use together it’s a competition about who is getting more high or who bought it last time or anything. It’s easier just using on my own in my experience

Not my experience this particular instance, but there’s nothing like a dopesick couple arguing over pills they no longer have.

I had one relationship when I was more an alcoholic, and she was an addict but also drank heavily. It was a disaster. Absolutely the least functional we were was together. We did better hanging out separately probably most every time I think if we were partying. RiP she died of an overdose in 2018.

 

[Oleander]

Not my experience this particular instance, but there’s nothing like a dopesick couple arguing over pills they no longer have.

I had one relationship when I was more an alcoholic, and she was an addict but also drank heavily. It was a disaster. Absolutely the least functional we were was together. We did better hanging out separately probably most every time I think if we were partying. RiP she died of an overdose in 2018.

Yes exactly. Maybe not the same situation as when I was using heroin but I don’t want to try and see. I just start resenting the person I’m using with honestly, whether we’re in a relationship or I’m just getting high with this person occasionally. It’s a little nice to have someone who doesn’t care to do that and I’m ok with it. I’m not super big on using with people and only did it before because they were paying or something, but I’d always be ok being by myself because I’m more comfortable and not so self conscious, I mean other than being self conscious with my bf now about it. It just dissolves from being an actual relationship to a codependent mess and I feel for people in those situations for years

 

[Pinkbeam]

Don't focus on your behavior.

Don't talk a lot.

Don't overthink.

Yawn.

Eat.

Pretend to be tired.

Remember to blink.

Have some music playing in one ear so you're not constantly looking for something to do.

Keep your tongue bit with your mouth closed when you're not talking so you don't grind your teeth.

Stretch often so you don't feel or appear tense.

Stay hydrated and if you have a minute alone, go to the bathroom and scrape the top of your tongue.

This is the best answer on here. If you do these things, you shouldn't have a problem.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I can’t imagine being in a relationship and not sharing your drugs with each other if one happens to have some and the other has none.

That’s really ugly.