- Apr 13, 2013
Just scored my daily ten bag my dealer reckons he's taking a break from dealing for a few days though so this might by the last time for a while times like this is when you appreciate having weed
wow1 can of Strongbow a spliff and 2 and a half points of gear pretty nice n stoned earlier when I went chemist I went last this guys market stall I usually chat to him in passing anyway he said he would pay me £20 if I helped him unload some boxes basically because if he unloaded them on his own he would have to turn his back on his stall for a few min and he was paranoid someone would steal something to be fair to him a lot of chavs do hang around and terrorise the locals anyway I was just all casual making out I didn't even want to do it and the £20 was no big deal to me when really inside I was doing summer saults anyway since I'd already had some gear only a little bit and I had no gear left I was tempted for a sec to ring my mate and see if he wanted to go halfs on half an egg which means half of a 3.5 (egg) half costs £40 so if you go halfs with someone and you know any half decent dealer who gets it at price you get a nice 0.7-0.8 of gear but I'm proud to admit for probably the first time ever I did not but heroin I know I had some earlier but it was only a couple points and I smoked it straight away until it was gone I still get that sort of panic feeling when I smoke my last bit of heroin but then I remind myself I'm not gonna get sick not even a bit because I'm on methadone but you still crave the taste, the fat hit you get when it's frazzling etc..
anyway decided to get a couple cans and a nice ten bag of strawberry haze and I'm very happy with this and just feel proud of myself which is also giving me a nice buzz and it's all because I was in the right place at the right time and best of all I didn't have to break the law or anything not that I break the law anymore anyway and not just because im on methadone maintenance but because I've managed to still have a clean criminal record and let me tell you guys I know I've told you before but I am one lucky motherfucker for still having a criminal record I have done things without going into to much detail that were cowardly and beyond horrible for a fix literally just like a stereotypical junkie and if I could turn back and not do what I did I honestly 100% would and just go through the withdrawal because the guilt has been eating away at me ever since like a ghost haunting and punishing me I have lost sleep and generally have not been able to look in the mirror because of it and it is probably the only reason I got on methadone in the first place because I'm not a bad person it's just the drugs that made me into.. This.. I had to do something not because I didn't want to get in trouble but because I didn't want to commit any crime, or anything again I also realise how nasty I have been when I used to be a sort shy but we'll spoken sophisticated and funny person but I have treated my grandma terrible and that is probably also one of the main and only things that significantly is comparatively adding to my guilt because my grandma is a nice and special sort of person she just sees the world like I see it but is soft like me to but pretends not to be also like me but I think after a year of trying to keep me out of trouble, dept and withdrawal I sort of drained it out of her and when I was high I didn't usually remember what I was doing when I was high or how I was talking and treating her but sometimes I do remember.. And.. Well it wasn't me anyway I'm gonna leave it at that because I'm to ashamed to talk about that it was nothing physical btw honestly me and grandma always argue but more in a blowing off steam type of way but I remember shouting and swearing threatening to kill myself or something if she didn't give me money but when I walked off or went in my room I would instantly feel guilty because she's basically been my only parent most of my life then I would go down and apologise and one of the best things about her is she would always accept my apology she doesn't waste time on arguing and holding grudges and I don't anymore either because I learned it off of her but this was all before I became homeless and even when I was homeless she would give me any money she could it was because of her I hardly went sick and I knew deep down that it I really wanted to come back she would let me I've always been her closest grandchild and the ones whose been around her the most I think most of my cousins visit like once every 5 years not even joking it's disgusting becsuse sometimes none of her family except me even fucking bother visiting even though she's got copd astma to make a few so I always make sure I speak to her everyday make sure she's ok and if she need me to go pet shop or something it really is the least I can do..
Anyway guys sorry I just wanted to blow off some steam I only planned to write a few lines but then that happened I've had a few cans like I said though anyway about to tuck into a nice cheese burger with some popcorn chicken on the side booming mate
I've had those 2mg Alps and they're great. Hard not to take 4 at a time. I rarely split a pill... I would try for 1mg pills as the 2mg are dangerous for meAbout half an hour ago:
2mg Alp (Kern brand if it makes a difference)
Drinking a Red Bull but rarely take energy drinks these days but it’s so damn warm here at the mo and I’m really not a heat person lol.
I am a bit hunchy these days, now that you mention it. I'll have to get back to you on that. I'm sure waking up in a nod between my knees hasn't helped much.When was the last time you checked that? In my fit prime youth I was a good 6 foot 2.
Some years later from conditions, barely scraping 6 foot.
Yeah now you say that that old phrase comes to mind….”You lose some you gain some”.I am a bit hunchy these days, now that you mention it. I'll have to get back to you on that. I'm sure waking up in a nod between my knees hasn't helped much.
It's okay AutoTripper, we all know those inches went somewhere else.