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How High Are You? V. Dude Where's My Bar?

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Monday bleh

Had coffee
2mg alzam
Few bong hits
300mg babapentin
2 glasses of wine

Feeling semi depro and not interested/ready for the world

Gonna be a sleepy day for me.
 
Coffeeshroom said:
Feeling semi depro and not interested/ready for the world
Click to expand...
Slept a lot then couldn't sleep.

Am already planning to take an antihistamine in 18 hours if I can't get to sleep because my brain seems to enjoy sleep deprivation but I know it's not good for me.

fightclub_1.jpg

The only reason I can't get sleep meds. SHOULD BE OTC

So what if I want to sleep away a few weeks/month of my life I feel entitled to sleep as often/much as I want to AHHHHH. Friends, family, etc. have witnessed my bad sleep NOTHING CAN BE DONE if I don't want to keep using benzos again. And you have no idea how close I was to eating one or two a hot minute ago.

I don't go manic and start crying at the empty bottles/pills I have left. Progress?
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Slept a lot then couldn't sleep.

Am already planning to take an antihistamine in 18 hours if I can't get to sleep because my brain seems to enjoy sleep deprivation but I know it's not good for me.

fightclub_1.jpg

The only reason I can't get sleep meds. SHOULD BE OTC

So what if I want to sleep away a few weeks/month of my life I feel entitled to sleep as often/much as I want to AHHHHH. Friends, family, etc. have witnessed my bad sleep NOTHING CAN BE DONE if I don't want to keep using benzos again. And you have no idea how close I was to eating one or two a hot minute ago.

I don't go manic and start crying at the empty bottles/pills I have left. Progress?
Click to expand...
Progress, well guess thats open to interpretation. But im having in there. Had alot of benzos so far. So sleepy session on my way. Hope you hanging in there
 
Woke up a bit gloomy to restless legs. Started on this strawberry flavoured dihydroceine syrup. It's pretty gross. No high, but enough to keep the opioid receptors distracted.

This morning: Half a valium tablet, a 500mg phenibut capsule and 80 milligrams of dihydrocodeine.

Tonight: A couple of lyrica capsules, a little more dihydrocodeine.
 
Coffeeshroom said:
Progress, well guess thats open to interpretation. But im having in there. Had alot of benzos so far. So sleepy session on my way. Hope you hanging in there
Click to expand...
Yeah I don't let myself take any benzos for no reason in particular.

Been so shocked from good/bad things (too many to count) and grief and shit I don't exactly know how I feel, my emotions tend to be very hard to interpret. I do feel good but very unsure of what any possible future could hold. I used to be better at "knowing what the rest of life would look like".

If I keep up the rate of the last 2 months I will for sure die in a handful of years. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

Reading a new book, going to have a dab trying to battle this insomnia bullshit (too many things I *have to* get done tomorrow :( if I sleep now I'll sleep through *everything*).

Oh I did already have a night time dab, perhaps one more (since I am not letting myself take benzos).
 
2g kratom (my last til the mail runs)
1.25g phenibut
coffee
no cigs yet gonna see how long i can take it
weeeed of course

oh happy freakin day and it's gonna rain all day and i get to ride like 20 miles in the rai) to see d-man later YAY rain damn lol
Mornin', Captain (and those others around :LOL:)
 
600mg gabapentin... gonna take 600 more today probably
Couple puffs from my nicotine vape
Caffeine
Day 3 of no opiates... probably tomorrow I will take like 1.5mg of sub.
I keep hoping my iboga TA extract will clear customs... it's been processing for a hot minute...
 
Coffeeshroom said:
Feeling semi depro and not interested/ready for the world

Gonna be a sleepy day for me.
Click to expand...
Same here friend. It's raining hard today and I'm feeling anxious and disinterested in doing my morning exercises. My cat seems to be anxious too but rain always worries him for some reason.

Think I'm gonna smoke some of the last of what weed I have left, and hit my pot guy up and hope he wakes up at some point and I can score a fat bag.
 
Coffee be pushin' on my gut hard today, made the mistake of having some amazingly good ice cream yesterday and I'm still feeling the after-effects. Not buzzing hard enough to be productive. Thinking I'll just embrace my apathy today. Really wana take some bupre or O-DT but I'm 9 days clean now and I'd hate to ruin that...
 
didn't get sleep but did take half a bar of xanax because I AM NOT GOING TO GO THROUGH WITHDRAWAL IN PUBLIC. I will get salty, rude, dis-affectionate and act like the world OWES me something which it does not. JFC.

Hopefully by tonight with beer and an antihistamine too I'll get like 10-12 good hours of sleep.

Have been legit too high-strung with news/grief etc. I might have to go back and get a new doctor because the PTSD is real. 8(

I had a pretty awesome start to the new year. And now life seems weird/foreign again after reintegrating. I think whatever withdrawal I went through totally sucked and I really need to avoid that feeling. It's like severe depression/sweating/crying and unable to do anything.

Don't follow in my footsteps kids. <3
 
Captain.Heroin said:
didn't get sleep but did take half a bar of xanax because I AM NOT GOING TO GO THROUGH WITHDRAWAL IN PUBLIC. I will get salty, rude, dis-affectionate and act like the world OWES me something which it does not. JFC.
Click to expand...

Preach.

Spent the past week back at mom and dad's house eating soup; harnessing its restorative properties 🤕😐. Got back to my annoyingly small 2 bedroom "summer house" and my annoyingly talkative room/house mate this morning. Part of me missed being at home, but at the same time I can see why I'm happy where I'm at for the time being.

3mg clonazepam
30mg adderall XR
45mg methadone
Sniffed a .25g of fentadope

2k then going to get coffee with a girl I grew up with from my hometown who's tryna help me get on her 2nd shift warehouse job team. Despite still feeling like I need more sleep.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Yeah I don't let myself take any benzos for no reason in particular.

Been so shocked from good/bad things (too many to count) and grief and shit I don't exactly know how I feel, my emotions tend to be very hard to interpret. I do feel good but very unsure of what any possible future could hold. I used to be better at "knowing what the rest of life would look like".

If I keep up the rate of the last 2 months I will for sure die in a handful of years. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

Reading a new book, going to have a dab trying to battle this insomnia bullshit (too many things I *have to* get done tomorrow :( if I sleep now I'll sleep through *everything*).

Oh I did already have a night time dab, perhaps one more (since I am not letting myself take benzos).
Click to expand...
Well if you trying to stay strong and away from the benzo part you have my support..

As for the rest. Suck it up, buttercup ;):p
 
Cream Gravy? said:
Same here friend. It's raining hard today and I'm feeling anxious and disinterested in doing my morning exercises. My cat seems to be anxious too but rain always worries him for some reason.

Think I'm gonna smoke some of the last of what weed I have left, and hit my pot guy up and hope he wakes up at some point and I can score a fat bag.
Click to expand...
Well i ended up sleeping most of the day away. My friend just rocked up with some booze and stuff. So things might get better but sleeping the day away i can say doesnt always help, like today..
Anyhow all the best bud
 
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Cyclobenzaprine only makes me feel heavy and tired. Great for sleep or pure muscle relaxation, but no high.
 
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