• TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT

Welcome How Are You in One Word vs wait! Just one?!

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relaxed

except for the doing homework on a saturday part, nice not to have to go do anything besides what was on my terms.
 
^Turn it on its head! failures are great teachers but you have to look for the right lesson. Addiction wants you to think the lesson is defeat and inescapable weakness; the real lesson is a clearer picture of your triggers and vulnerabilities. Don't use relapses against yourself--practice using them as opportunities to have more self-knowledge and get them to feed rather than squelch motivation! <3
 
"Failures are indeed the great teachers we have in life". Couldn't agree more! <3

Tired.
Hopeful.
 
Alone and friendless.

Got an unexpected call from a guy I stopped talking to long ago who just accused me of something I did not do! I am hyperventilating. It's so upsetting. I have no one to talk to. I can't tell my family because they talk too fucking much. I just want to kill myself, but I am trying to be strong.

Glad I see the therapist next month. It's a shame I can't confide in anyone! I have major trust issues and good reasons why, That call was the last thing I needed tonight.
 
Grateful I can get my klonopin from the pharmacy today. After the disaster last night, I need it. So sick of life's endless bullshit. Usually I get through it, but how many more years can a person take? FUUUUUCKKKK

This is going to sound sad, but I'm seriously thinking about at least having an exit plan ready for the future. I'm only in my early 30s and I can't see this useless suffering for even past 40 years old, maybe sooner. Then I think about comedians, musicians, writers and the most brilliant minds who chose to leave. Even the best of the best get fed up. God would understand. After all, he created all these illnesses I have. I digress.

Edit: So the guy who delivers for the pharmacy didn't even get the medicine from the pharmacy until 11:15 am! No wonder I'm still waiting. That should be unacceptable. People are sick and need their damn medicine earlier than that. Am I the irrational one? I hate everything right now.

Haha I have to laugh at this point. Here it is 3:36 pm now and still NO MEDICINE! I just found out the pharmacy was short a driver so it's taking longer than usual and of course on a day I feel like I'm going to die without my klonopin.

I'm all weepy and emotional. I honestly can't tell if it's the Ritalin I just started or if klonopin withdrawal is kicking in. Either way, I have no choice but to wait on the klonopin to get here. God help me....

And sorry for bitching so much, but obviously it's a bad day so I'm going to stop feeling guilty for being sick.
 
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