It's best to taper off of kratom to avoid such severe withdrawals. Don't go cold turkey. Smaller doses are best. You seem to have it under control now. You're right about being careful with drugs that effect GABA, especially with benzos because going cold turkey off of those can cause death.i used to use 25grams of kratom everyday for a 1.5 years,
then had severe withdrawal.
now im using 1 small dose in the morning every other day.
the day im not using kratom i do sports.
i use weed only after having done sports or when the effect or the kratom has mostly weened.
careful with drugs that effect gaba.
used benzos very occasionally for years but quit once i realized that even the occasional use of the weakest benzo causes anxiety brainfog for days after that.
Already knew it, but this is something that the 2 of us have in common, that it probably wouldn’t hurt to get back.I’d have to say the biggest thing that brings me contentment when I’m sober, and the ability to just love my life for what it is, is when I feel like I have a purpose. When I feel like I’m here to do something and I’m passionate about it
I'm sorry that happened to you, but please don't give up trying to get sober.The fulfillment for me came from being self-supporting for the first time ever in my 24 years of living, from me finally having my own home, consistently showing up and performing to the best of my ability whenever I would go to work, and also bring someone who was actively bettering and working on their mental health and emotional wellbeing on a regular basis. Whereas now, I can’t tell you the last time that I consciously made the decision to do some work on myself, mental state, and emotional stability.
This last time I got sober, I was able to build up all of this stuff over the 14 months or so that I lived in Oxford and Sober Living; and what do ya’ fucking know?! I self sabotaged and fucking pissed away everything that my, now ex-gf, and I had built up, alongside her son as well, over the duration of that year. All because I’m a sack of shit with a low self esteem, super poor self esteem, & basically no self worth, and cheated in the form of being flirty with some bitch on Snapchat who doesn’t mean a goddamn thing to me. I started shooting dope again after 23 months sober, shortly after she left me and took everything been at it for 6-8 weeks now.
So yeah.... ideally, I’d like to get back to being a happy, sober (for the most part anyways) individual, like how I was in my first year, and before I somehow got complacent, started going on a downward spiral, and before I had my mental health deteriorate and crumble like a Pringle getting stepped on on the concrete.
My rant is over. Can’t be getting all angsty and sad and shit tonight lol.
I really appreciate the kind words. Fortunately for me, this go round isn’t hectic or problematic like my previous 8+ years of substance use. So at least there’s that..I'm sorry that happened to you, but please don't give up trying to get sober.
As far as being sober, what's "sober"? I do kratom sometimes and drink alcohol at times, but I'm always going to be on some kind of substance. My brain is defective. I need something in order to live through this, so be it. It is what it is. I'm not shooting up heroin or meth or anything, but there's always going to be a substance to get me through this life. I've accepted that.
3 years sober mate 3 years , cannot wait to get back to old me , BUT what i learned is dont overdo it otherwise it all goes to s*itIt's a whole other league of sorts...until one becomes sober for a long period of time, they don't appreciate how superior it is to getting high regularly.
u said it bro, moderation is the key. Although it's very hard to achieve at first. Although some might never achieve that.I think i'm more happy sober than i am when dabbling with drugs.
The reason i dabble, is because i want new, heightened experiences. And during those experiences, yeah, i'm more "happy". But it's fleeting and has no basis in reality. It's not a life style i'd want for myself to become addicted, even though my therapist would tell you i'm addicted to "drugs in general". Anyway, i see them as another hobby. Video games, which cost money, collections of sorts, which cost money, cars, shelter, food, oh, and drugs. Just here and there, though. Like everything else - in moderation.
Drugs just make you not care of your problems for a while. Then u have MORE PROBLEMS and you keep dosing more and more to not feel those problems.Those problems keep getting worse and worse until you're trapped. the cycle goes on and on, for example im currently fucked jobless,living with my dad at25, haven't achieved anything besides wasting 10 years of my life trying to chase that dragon. That's y i think i'm done banging, i'm not sure if i won't ever do it again but in the near future, fuck it.By remaining positive and content.
If my ego gets in the way it could spell ingratitude and lead to poor choices.
I guess I realize drugs won't ever make me happy though. Some might offer more potential for inner growth than others but even these aren't keys to happiness in and of themselves.
There is no "adult-onset" ADHD. For the diagnosis, one needs to have had symptoms early in life.I like to revisit this thread from time to time, it's a very interesting question and my perspective changes gradually, but seemingly constantly over time...
My current answer - happy? Absolutely yes. But to live in this world being happy is not enough, you need to be a productive, functional member of society and find a way to accept the the ever present need to earn money to live, the ever present need to fortify yourself against the incessant onslaught of implied expectation from society and culture at large that you need to be a certain way, live a certain way, in order to be considered as someone who has value.
Or maybe that's just my own psychological dysfunctions deceiving me... wouldn't rule it out. But anyway, happy, in the moment, yes, productive and functional in a way that's conducive to sustaining myself in today's world, maybe but without something it's a struggle. Currently upgraded from modafinil to racemic amphetamine to manage what I'm pretty certain is some kind of adult onset ADHD. Have an on-off relationship with kratom and GABA-ergics to manage the side effects of that. This is probably the end of the road for me as far as substances I can use therapeutically, I've gone from piracetam, to phenibut, to modafinil, now to amphetamine, anything beyond that is in no way sustainable for sure so hopefully I can figure out my own mind a bit better before this stops working, if it stops working.
Maybe that means I can't be happy and sober long term without my drugs of choice, in a roundabout way, after all, the world is what it is... But, we all are who we are.
Yeah well honestly my "symptoms" as such are not a recent thing, I just use the term "adult-onset" because I've read it elsewhere, perhaps some other term would be more accurate.There is no "adult-onset" ADHD. For the diagnosis, one needs to have had symptoms early in life.
From Provigil, amphetamine is a biiiig step. Most find it over time to kind of turn on them if they use it daily. It's speed. I found it to be absolutely astoundingly good at first, then after a few months it can help focus but causes untoward anger and frustration, basically turning a great deal of efficacy for many ills into a negative-neutral, basic charge.
Time ticks on, and things do improve if you follow recommendations based on honest interview, and you don't abuse drugs. Sometimes, meds can be more "drugs" than "medications".