Another Ninja Edit here: Re your first paragraph. You are indeed correct, I could set something up - I get paid monthly, so could only allow myself once per pay, buy on the weekend I get paid, a certain amount, and thats it! But as we both know that doesn't work. As I've proven below in my meth induced ramble. lolI don't think cutting down on ice works. At least not for me anyway. Hopefully you have more luck. I would rather just not even do it than spend the time I'm waiting for my 'allowed' dose in crazy cravings. I remember way back, prob 2005 when I first started thinking I had to slow down my use, so I said I'd do it monthly too. I'd used up my years allowance in 2 weeks, but as if that would stop me using the rest of the year!
The hard thing about saying, oh I'll only do it once a month, is that it's so hard to measure. For that to work I think you need to set really strong rules. Like what if you're going to 2 big events one weekend after another? What if the time for your monthly dose comes on the weekend you're staying home? If you don't set firm rules like that, it's so easy for use to creep back up.
Yeah so, got a point today... Feel ashamed of myself, I crave but can control it as long as I keep busy, I think I'm gonna have to say to my mates who have gear that I'm trying to quit/cut down on spending and need their support in keeping me away from (maybe not being exposed, but NOT given/allowed the opportunity to purchase it)Good to see you're taking steps to reducing your addiction. A suggestion would be to write down what you want to achieve, your progress and weaknesses on this site. When you have someone listening and responding to your progress it does indeed give a confidence boost.
mate its very hard to give it up. it seems for me the first 2 weeks are the worst, then it eases but having strong cravings on the thursdays-saturday afternoon/nights.Another Ninja Edit here: Re your first paragraph. You are indeed correct, I could set something up - I get paid monthly, so could only allow myself once per pay, buy on the weekend I get paid, a certain amount, and thats it! But as we both know that doesn't work. As I've proven below in my meth induced ramble. lol
Thanks man, anyone can say they're gonna do something but actually doing it is another thing, I caved today... I had to ride along with someone picking up some pills, that was OK. Knew I could get gear at the same time but didn't think about it.... Then another mate of mine smsed me just as i got home from a fucking 16 hour day at work with 1 20minute break (illegal yes, I know.. Not fussed, I just meant to say that to convey my state of mind), and yeah basically the mate said he'd just stocked up on a little If i wanted some... Public holiday tomorrow I thought, I had a little extra cash in the wallet, checked my bank and figured I could make it work.... So I picked up a point and here I am. (I also got smoked up about 1/4 point while I was out, which was sweeeet, free drugs!)
So yes, I'm an addict. I remember trying it for the first time like 6 months-10 months ago (somewhere along those lines), it started with pills and now gear is my D.O.C. With pills for special occasions.
Yeah so, got a point today... Feel ashamed of myself, I crave but can control it as long as I keep busy, I think I'm gonna have to say to my mates who have gear that I'm trying to quit/cut down on spending and need their support in keeping me away from (maybe not being exposed, but NOT given/allowed the opportunity to purchase it)
Just fuckin sucks. That's all I have to say
That said, If I can accomplish the above steps I will be on my way! At least It's not breaking the bank right now, but that's just an excuse to buy it if i get offered!
It's funny if you read back 20~ pages you'll probably see my first comments about smoking gear, and all my rants whilst high as fuck on it. Do you guys look back on your own posts? Does it help?
(don't mean to bring the mood down here, but we are harm reduction website! haha) Thanks for the support guys, any good advice will be taken in, but it's up to me at the end of the day and I understand that.
Also, re the above 2 posts(my2c, and situation): I'm not BROKE from meth, but it's affecting my goals and I'm not saving the money I need to achieve those goals.
I don't smoke buds or cigarettes, I'm probably better off than a lot of people here. 60K~ p/y (or so.... can't give away too much here being as anonymous as we can on bl) - I do live with my gf who only brings in $300~ week if that. Her money is gone with food/fuel/running her car/phone bill, and my money is saved until i touch it for other things, I tend to buy/support us both (and shout her drugs, as you do being a good boyfriend... but she doesnt regularly take anything just pills on special occasion).
I have bloody monthly car insurance, phone bill, internet, fuel/car running (which I've been pretty good on lately - fuel wise), also have a small loan I'm paying off too (as do most people).... But I eat out a lot too, and buy expensive foods, buying lunch at work every day $10-15 rather than packing lunch. (no utilities to worry about For now, due to living arrangements)
Plenty of money to be saved eh, all around! My problem is laziness, and I'm not a morning person so don't make lunch, and too stuffed with this hot weather after work anyway, lately. (no A/C and it's 45c in the house most days)