• 💊 OTHER DRUGS 💊 Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads 1 Notable Threads 2
    Dangerous Combos Addiction Support
    Emergency Services Benzo Guide v.1
    Addiction Stories Scary Case Studies
    Biology, Pharmacology & Drugs 101
  • Select Your Topic Then Scroll Down
    Alcohol Bupe Benzos
    Cocaine Heroin Opioids
    RCs Stimulants Misc
    Harm Reduction All Topics Gabapentinoids
    Tired of your habit? Struggling to cope?
    Want to regain control or get sober?
    Visit our Recovery Support Forums

Opioids Heroin/Opiate Withdrawal just f***ing SUCKS

E

eimajjjj

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 9, 2011
Messages
17
Thats pretty much it. I don't think you can really explain to people who havent been through it how bad it is. Day 1 and 2 are just life write-offs, you can huddle in ball and thats about it. Then maybe day 3 and 4 you start thinking you're normal but you walk about and this is the worst bit for me, you just look at everyone around you all smiley, doing normal things, eating, shopping, chatting, and you seriously can't remember when you were like that yourself. That's where I am now, day 4 and I can walk, but the lack of energy, depression, it eats at you no end.

Think someone else said it "I've got one more high left in me, but I've not got another withdrawal in me". Or something like that. This is my fourth WD. You'd think we'd learn eh?!?
 
You would think, but no. Take some pride in how far you have gotten and the fact your sticking it out. Keep that pride knowing if you relapse you will lose it. Feeling high may feel good short term, but it will only become regret in the long run.

Congratulations on getting this far. Stick through it and remember you never know what's going on in someone's head, life, or medication so those other laughing functional people might barely be that while breaking inside where as others are probably medicated one way or another while very few are stable on their own.
 
you will be surprised at how good you will eventually feel when your are totally back to normal
 
Are you stopping because you want to? I hope you get off and stay off. Every withdrawal will get worse and worse.
 
Man I'm in it right now. I feel like a huge pussy. I've been through day 1 and 2 but it was torture. Fuckin agony and I used way too many benzos. Like 20mg klonopin a day I was just huddled in a ball and I still am. I get my oxy's tomorrow and I'm getting high right away. This method is not for me, I'm going to have to find a way to taper.

I'll never learn. I know myself and I'll die addicted to this shit. I did WAY too much heroin lately WTF was I thinking??? I'd do a line in a MILLISECOND right now NO hesitation. FUCK the cravings are killing me too, and I have a lot going on emotionally I've just been fucking crying. What kind of life is this. What the fuck did I do to myself just getting the fuck high and treating my pain. Whatever. 12 hours to go and I'm popping 100mg oxy, sitting in my car until it kicks in thinking fuckuckfuckfuck because I won't be able to drive. Time for another 10mg klonopin and some sleep aids. Maybe I can knock myself out. I took 24mg codeine didn't do shit. I am too weak to do a CWE properly. This life is truly hell.
 
Shroomy, have you considered a suboxone detox? I used subs to come off a mean heroin habit. Whatever the opinions people have for Suboxone, the shit saved my life.
 
Absolutely I have. Presently I'm too caught up in heroin. I need that fucking hit every 2 or 3 hours. I'm a completely functional addict so long as I have it. I got up to 200 lbs from daily yoga when I was using. I just think heroin should be legal. I'd sniff the shit every day for the rest of my life. I don't think I'm ready to quit. I'm a fool caught up in this shit. The high is TOO good it cures my chronic spinal pain, BPD, panic disorder... everything wrong with me, it makes me the person I want to be. I just need it ALL the time so fucking legalize becauseI know what I'm doing.

I'll figure it out, I'd really like to try subs. Cold turkey with nothing but benzos has driven me insane. I keep puking and I'm losing the weight I put on. I need the fucking heroin. I have too many problems I'll die a heroin addict and I don't even care. The high is a medication to me. I honestly can't imagine my life without the raw.
 
Haven't heard of loperamide I take it? Knocks out 95%+ of withdrawal, and doesn't get you high at all (unless you're really trying to and don't care that it will blow up your heart, but that's at 2-4x as much as you need to stop withdrawal from even a several-buns-per-day habit) so it's easy to taper off of. It makes such a huge difference in your life to never have to worry about withdrawal again. Can't get h for a couple days? Oh well, no biggie, will still feel good enough to work, eat, exercise, and do whatever needs to be done with only a tiny bit of discomfort.
 
Ehehe yup it sucks alright. Just did my last rail about 5mins ago and I'm already thinking about how I'm gonna get $40-$80 for a Q or 1/2G as my wife got all the cash right now. I'm dreading the "no can do" scenario, though I do have a few 8mg Suboxings (I call it that because you have to take a few punches before you take them) but I'm not a huge fan of subs since you have to go through some pain before taking them, otherwise you will be in a world of hurt (you think regular WD is bad, it aint shute compared to precipitated WD Ehehe - not that it is something the laugh at).
 
Trouble is, it's never an overnight fix i.e. you wake up one morning and suddenly feel back to normal again, the changes back to normal are so subtle and so slow and sporadic that you just think it's a never ending then one day you realise you're doing something you couldn't imagine doing at the beginning of withdrawal, that said, it's hell on earth, and I think anyone who has gone through opiate withdrawal is never really the same again, not to sound too dark about it though. It's like once you've tried opiates or H then you've stepped into the underworld.
 
How are you doing? Are you still off of them? I'm currently day 5 and feeling pretty good. Idk what the shrooms did that I took but they certainly did something.
 
YO I'm at day 3. It has been hell on earth. Man my fucking 200 lbs has shrivelled up but actually it was like a cut. I don't look too bad. I've been trying to eat but half the time I puke and dry heave. Man I tried oats last night and was so proud... worst puke of my life. I shit my pants multiple times. Fuckin dry heaving for like 10 minutes. What The FUCK. Who can get through this fucking props to you. Not me. I'm picking my oxy up in 45 min and getting HIGH AS FUCK. YES!!! I don't even care man the pain is so bad.

Man I had the craziest E trip of my life right before this started (I honestly left my body at one point the energy got so heated with intellectual debate with a friend, it's like the gods got involved. It was the craziest talk of my life and it got so heated it was insane my friend had been up on meth for 3 days and we were on the phone at each other for 3 hours I barely remember but my eyes wiggled to the point I couldn't see for 8 hours no joke.). Anyways, there was THAT too like WTF and a chick yesterday I had to bail on because I'm curled up in a ball in bed. Man that's the worst part to me. I never know what woulda happened. And a job, I finished like 90% of the application and didnt' finish the last 10%. The universe is trying to send me a lesson but I will NOT listen. I am in WAY too much pain and this is serious withdrawal attempt #3 in 5 years. It was worse than last time because I didn't have weed so I puked and couldn't eat. I had nothing. No T4, no immodiu, fucking nothin.

Alright I'm gonna have to figure out what to do. It's a catch 22. I don't want to quit, I never will, I'm so functional in opiates and I'm not without them even before. I'll never be the same I've seen true suffering. But then I really do need to quit as I am blowing through so much H I honestly just need to switch to the needle. In my fucked up mind. WTF, I'm sure some of you can relate ; )

Fucking 35 minutes of hell plus the time to kick in but as soon as I get the pills in me I'll start to feel better. As soon as I head to the dope man I'll start feeling better. How did I get this fuckin addicted like fuck. Like I knew it was addictive but not like THIS. They need to be legal in my opinion. I'd live a long happy life, likely, railing pure #4 all day every day. Legalize the shit in my opinion for people who can't or don't want to quit.

I'm starting to giggle just because I know I'll be high soon. It has been days of torture. Anyone get like that? I get a little high before I even get my shit. at least I cleared my bowels out. haha. NOT FUN.
 
Last edited:
^^^
You really want to go through this again?
Why not stop while you are you ahead?!

I'm on day five and while I can do things again to the normal extent I get pretty tired, pretty quickly, can't sleep, muscle aches, sweating randomly, depression, anxiety, brain fog, waiting for that turn round the corner.
 
Well, post-acute withdrawal is horrific for me as I'm so mentally ill. I made it months last year and then broke down after all physical symptoms had ended. The panic attacks were so bad I couldn't stop myself from taking 20mg xanax. Even last night I took 40mg xanax like wtf!

Honestly, I'm better off on dope. I can afford 2 or 3 points a day, I just need a fucking job. And what ever happened to good old initiative? Showing up with a resume and all? It's all online these days, too stupid this corporate shit.

But yeah, I made it months in last year and if anything things got a LOT worse for me. I also have excruciating chronic back pain. There's no way I'd be 200lbs if I didn't use dope... it cures everything that's wrong with me. I have trouble walking without opiates. I can do hours of yoga each day with opiates. I'm working on strengthening my core so maybe the back pain will subside... but I cannot move my spine without opiates as it's fuckin excruciating. I used to be a gym rat and had to give it all up when I had my injury. The pain is excruciating without opiates and I am not willing to put up with it when I can take opiates and do hours of yoga each day and get jacked like I used to be. Plus, strengthening my core like that will probably help my back in the years to come.

It's not fun and games for me... it's self medication. I am fully functional on heroin. I've hid it from everyone for 5 years, and I will continue to do so. I do not nod. I get energized and motivated, anxiety relief, total pain relief, I become happy and sociable. Nobody would guess a damn thing, when I hit withdrawal it's just obvious I'm a junkie. So, I need that engineering job to pay for my ounces. I just need a damn job to pay for the habit. It's how I want to live my life. Man it's just I can't handle cold turkey. I'm taking oxy now and my dose is way lower and even that is tough enough... I really have to take it easy on my body, I'm in really rough shape. And I hate how I reach for the benzos it's even worse. I'm just an opiate addict and I accept it. I try my best to never run out. The last time I made an attempt to quit was last autumn. I pretty much stared at a wall for three months. I can't function without opiates and I am exactly the person I want to be when I have it. That kinda sorta makes it tough to quit.

I understand your point of view and congrats on day 5. It normally takes me 10 days until I can feel any sort of happiness, but my back hurts so bad and I'm not even 30 I require opiates. I can't get a reasonable amount scripted, due to the hysteria, so I get raw instead. I'm not justifying it I know I'm a fuckin junkie. But honestly I get my script and I can't control it... because I need that higher dose to feel alright. My tolerance is way too high to get by on 30mg a day and I don't get the pain relief.

And I'm getting older now and there is SO much pressure for me to get a job now. I can't handle it. I can't handle how my gf fucking walked away without even TELLING me. I have BPD and I cut my arms without heroin, I become suicidal. There's too much going on. My fucking panic disorder. That's why. I'd rather be dead than get off the shit and I truly mean that. I've tried and I'm not wasting another 3 months of my life to relapse. Not to discourage anyone... I am severely mentally ill. I'm not going through acute wd to hit PAWS and have such hardcore panic I can't sleep for weeks on end and can take like 20mg xanax and not even feel it. That was frying my brain. Opiates do not impact my intelligence at all.

Withdrawal is just part of the experience. I can accept it now that I'm feeling okay again... but even today I'm having trouble eating. It takes several days to recover from the attempt at recovery. I'm just not down for it and that's who I am, you know? I think it should be legal because I mean, 5 years and nobody can even tell? What the fuck does it matter how I make myself happy and pain free. I haven't gotten laid in years either. It's too much right now. There's too much going on that makes me want to fuckin die. I don't have any life at all. I work my ass off to get a job and can't even get an interview with a fucking engineering degree. I can't handle it at all. BPD fucking sucks as well (borderline, not bipolar to clarify)
 
Be it as it may, opinions vary on rehabs... I personally think its a shit industry that doesn't do anything for you that you cannot do from home. Having gone through the process, it is good to just talk to a professional about these kinds of things. There is light to be shed. Talk to a pro, get it out.
.
 
Yeah actually I am, and I'm not high right now. I'm waiting a bit and lowering my usage. Thanks for asking. I got an interview and it really boosted my confidence : ) I have a lot of problems going on and my girl left me after 5 years a while ago she just ran away without saying anything it literally took me like a month to figure it out. Is that even a thing? Panic disorder, BPD, chronic pain... I'm on Heroin for the rest of my life. It's the best medication I have found when it's raw. I got a half gram but I'm taking a week break and popping my weak oxy's with a little speed. I went overboard recently. I'm never buying large amounts at once again haha. I thought it would save me money ... LOL. I went through a half ounce in a few weeks which is way way way too much for my normal tolerance. So yeah. No more than a gram at a time max.

I don't plan on quitting at all. I need a job, and I can't work if I'm sick. I can't work if my back is fucking killing me. I can't work if I'm having BPD outbursts at colleagues, miserable about not getting laid EVER, or having panic attacks. I need a 40mg rail before every shift. I'm not down for the lifelong battle when I was so mental ill and in chronic pain I was ready to die before I took that first dilaudid. It's just my life and I embrace it as much as I can. Whenever I try and quit, my benzo usage escalates to insane proportions. I will take like 50mg xanax in a day. It's retarded and makes me feel dumb. I'm better off on a point a day or so with some oxy and a kpin. Roll hard every 2 years is my recreational thing, I don't drink or smoke anything... well I guess a little dmt.

Why did I have to fuck up my spine so bad at 23? It's been years and years of agony and when you're in that much pain day after day, it fucks your head up really bad. I can't handle the back pain and it never goes away unless I'm opiates. I might end up living a short life but you know, I don't care. I'd rather live five years of happiness than a lifetime of worsening misery. However, I plan on getting married and having a career in engineering. I'm taking it easy now looking for part-time work to ease my way back into work (I had to stop working for several years due to the excruciating pain... now with heroin, I will work harder than I ever have in my life at my next job.) I'll just make sure to never ever run out, and watch my use so that I don't overdo it. My friends who know call me the healthiest junky ever haha. I'm not bragging or anything I'm not like that fuck I'm fuckin nothing. It's just funny how I'm a 200 lb highly flexible yogi heroin addict in extreme chronic pain. I don't know. That's just kinda funny because without the heroin I was 150 at most, and as I past bodybuilder at max 220lbs it was a huge part of my life. Watching that decade of work disappear as I withered away in pain unable to fucking go for a walk around the block let alone hit the weights was the most depressing thing of my life apart from girl problems. Which I am getting better at. On heroin, I can talk to any girl and just be myself. It's great because normally I'm really shy or so depressed about not getting laid I can't even talk to them. I have built up a lot of sustainable confidence with heroin (whether I have it or not, I am a very confident man now and I wasn't before. It also unlocked my creativity with guitar... when I got China White chipped off a SEA brick... 90%+ pure, I was writing music like crazy. I no longer saw the point of covers, or anything other than improvising and recording until I found something I liked. The heroin has changed me but I am nothing without it. Nothing but a scummy fuck who lays in bed suffering day after day.

So I need to avoid that by keeping my use under control (to be honest, I had greater difficulty controlling my cannabis intake than my heroin sniffing, as heroin is truly a medicine for me. I don't care what anyone says, it treats everything that's wrong with me and it's worth every penny of suffering and money for someone like me. I understand that usually isn't the case, but I have so many problems I wouldn't be here writing this if it wasn't for this drug. I really think it should be legal and actually doctors in my country are allowed to prescribe it to long term addicts as a special access. So, eventually I will probably get on board with that, when they realize I am a productive member of societty that cannot//will not ever quit.

I really appreciated when you asked if I was feeling better. Means a lot to me because all my friends are online these days or out of town. Apart from my little bro, I just love the guy. He was laughing at my MDMA trip the other day I was telling him about. I left my body and experienced astral projection for the first time. It blew my mind to smithereens more than any acid ever has. I hadn't used in 18 months and took 150 mg. It mangled me lol. But then I hit 3 days of CT heroin withdrawal I was NOT prepared for and with the E hangover and I've been using speed it was seriously fucking hell. I don't mean to complain I am a man after all and I should be strong and fight but you know how it is. Some people aren't cut out for pain like that. I'm like that. Just a total hedonist.

One thing I'm really confused about is injection. I think it would be a YMMV type of thing. I think I'm staying away from it for now. Sniffing is working out and if anything I should be drastically cutting back if I want to keep using long term. I don't know what I'm doing and it kinda creeps me out to be honest. I've had needles around for 6 months but every time I choose withdrawal because it's just a line I refuse to cross. I'll withdraw before I do that. I like my rails even though I know I'm hurting my nose (but nothing like vasoconstrictive coke... although I like a little of that from time to time. I used a gram over the whole winter so I don't have problems with stimulants. I love speed when I'm in mild opiate withdrawal for the energy as opposed to laying in bed, but that's it.
 
Last edited:
Glad you're feeling better. I self medicate with oxy for some mental issues I have as well. I get them for chronic pain but the fact is, I can take the pain. It's the stupid voice in my head that I have to shut up. Oxy shuts that fucker up for the most part.

The thing is though, I know it's not healthy. I guess I'm a bit of a coward because I just can't bring myself to talk to someone about it. I can force myself to keep my mouth shut and not act on my thoughts but then I have to sit there and listen to the damn things. Fuck that. I'll take my oxy.
 
Me too. I was just debating this after a morning apple. I know I'll run out soon but already have H to fall back on... so how much oxy? 65mg, an okay start to the day I suppose. Way over my script already.

I need it for energy too. I can't bring myself to do anything if I'm not opiated. I am productive on opiates. If I don't use them, I just abuse other drugs that are worse for my body and don't help me get through life the same. Nothing could replace them. Of course I'm self justifying it but I'm the oneliving this shit. Love my oxy but H much more, unless it's like an oc80 or the 20mgir ones we have here but those are too expensive.
 
You need to chill on those benzos, that's the most likely source of a lot of you anxiety. You think this wd is bad, it's nothing compared to the benzo wd you're going to face.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top