Heroin (indeterminate quantity) - First Time - The Most Dangerous Drug On Earth

[aLinkToTheAss]

I'm not gonna explain my reasons for trying heroin, and only plan on explaining what it's like. I didn't use a syringe, and if you're stupid enough to try this drug I highly advise not injecting it either. You're not really being careful if you take this drug at all, but you can at least take some precautions to avoid adiction or infection. Seriously though, don't ever inject something you buy on the street. I probably don't need to tell you that you don't want to put extremly impure addictive crud that's full of bacteria in your veins, but just to be sure you have been warned.

Also, even though datura is way deadlier than heroin, I still think heroin is more likely to make you regret trying it. If you wan't to get technical the actual most dangerous drug you could ever take is probably datura, but that's intended by nature to be poison, so I don't count it.

The sensation of being about to take heroin for the first time is incredible. It's a rush that's I've never experienced before in my life (unless I was on hallucinogens and thought I was in danger or something). It's also totally fucked up, because the very real possibility of destroying not only my life but the lives of everyone close to me was like a broken record in my head. The fact that I took it at all suggests that I'm probably not the best person.

Smoking heroin is apparently an acquired skill, and I waisted most of it. When I got my first good hit, I instantly fell in love with the drug, and occupied myself until the peak to make sure I could smoke more with minimal risk of overdose. Gonna be honest, at a certain point I stopped worrying about overdosing (or anything else, for that matter), and before I knew it my heroin was gone.

When the last peak came, I couldn't believe how amazing I felt. Not a care in the world, with a tingly orgasmic body high comparable to that of an amazing mushroom trip. It didn't last very long until I began nodding off, and had a similar experience to falling asleep, but the hypnogogic imagery was compleatly different than that of a normal night. I never actually fell asleep, and instead just had mild greyscale visions dotted with the occasional minimalist color while feeling really good, but horribly itchy.

For a few days after I couldn't stop thinking about how badly I wanted more, but that if I had more that quickly I would develope a dependance. A fairly torterous feeling, and those weren't even real withdrawls. The itchiness also lasted almost a day. I can't possibly recomend this drug. Thankfully I much prefer dissociative holes like that produced by DXM or ketamine for relaxing over heroin. If you wan't to take heroin just take a dissociative instead. They are a similar experience, only dissociatives are way more intense, feel alot more amazing, last longer, are less addictive, and you can freak the fuck out on them. There is no such thing as a drug you can't get addicted to though, so tread with caution.

Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_heroin
substancecode_opiates
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_negative
exptype_addiction
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled

 

[negrogesic]

Tread with caution. Was it tar or something else?

 

[Missgreenewne]

I IV but tar is best smoked in my opinion. If you think smoking it is amazing shooting it would blow your mind.

 

[JackARoe]

Part of the allure of heroin is the pleasure of going from sick to well in a matter of seconds. It is almost a way a person can take their power back after feeling so damn powerless in this world. Except that power is based on a condition (as long as you can get heroin) so the whole addiction recovery thing takes on a life of it's own. The way all your problems morph into the one problem of obtaining heroin is another way of feeling powerful until you can't get and feel powerless.

Your report is a great warning. It seems 50% would try and opiate and not like it. The other 50% really have to keep a check on it. I will say if a person recently used the obsession to use again is strong. The further you are from that last use the less obsession. If that were not so nobody would ever quit. But then again one use and a person has to get away from the black hole that wants to suck them in. By putting some time between the last use a person can get their real power back and have a more steady footing.

Thanks for the report.

 

[G_Chem]

Sounds like Tar based on the itchiness lasting forever.

First I’d like to say that your disclaimer for IV use will likely fall on deaf ears. Most people I know didn’t just start on the needle and it’s not usually a decision that’s made with respect to the best of logic. You often decide to IV when that seems like the only choice anymore.

I can relate to that feeling of giving everything up for that first go. I remember trying it a few times sporadically, realizing I liked it ALOT and it could become problematic.. Then the day came where I got kicked out of my house again for stupid reasons.

I sat over at my friends hole of an apartment, feeling angry at the world and had a bump of heroin sitting in front of me. I sat and contemplated taking that bump for at least 30min. Knowing that if I took that bump, that was it for me. At that moment I had a choice, I thought long and hard, and made my decision. A decision that has lived with me since..

I often wonder if other people had that moment to choose their fate like I did.

-GC

 

[JackARoe]

I will say as much pain as heroin caused me, I have no regrets as I learned a lot. I have no regrets for the recovery process I had to at least try, no regrets for the 5 year bid I did for armed robbery 35 years ago, no regrets for thinking it ruined my life. Addiction can be a teacher, and rarely is a person stronger than when they conquer it and then go on to help others through the wisdom they gained. No telling what life would have been like if I been like if I never touched it. But I went through a lot, including watching a drug counselor, that kept telling me I was not going to make it, only to watch him OD and die, leave behind a pregnant wife and one year old. This guy started a lot of recovery centers in NJ. But yeah, after that I told myself no more counseling or drug groups. My philosophy was to learn to get high smarter, as I am that guy in the first chapter of the AA book. The people that it claimed were unconstitutionally incapable of staying sober for life. So I had to do something. Bluelight helped years later.

Saying that, for the person that is deciding to try or not, I would advise against it. There are other ways in life to gain wisdom and learn lessons. lol

 

[garym]

i've been a heroin addict (crack too) since 1999, i was 19, i felt minor trepidation at trying what i had heard that was the most evil drug in the world. the buzz from the first bag i bought was weird, not at all what i thought it was gonna be like, i can't say i liked it when i first tried it. it tasted fucking horrible and made me sick. it took a week to get addicted and THEN it got good. my first time experiencing withdrawal was mild, but at the time i would've rather died. in my experience it wasn't until i had an addiction (after blazing gear every day for a week, decent gear too) that i found that heroin was fucking amazing. 20 years later and many thousands of pounds spent on all sorts of drugs that were gear and werent gear (getting ripped off) i can safely say that i hate that i love it. a true addict will understand what i mean.

 

[G_Chem]

JackARoe, Interesting story. I can relate as well..

See I grew up in a crazy household with an alcoholic mom who me and my dad decided to leave one day. (My dad literally asked me if I was ready.) Once we finally left she got “serious” about her recovery and dove head first into AA.

Over the years I was so involved growing up in that lifestyle. My mom soon met another sober guy in there who she married. And the two of them were like the cute sober couple everyone aspired to be. They do tons of speeches, sponsor a lot of people the whole nine...

Well folks. Unfortunately AA/NA don’t work. I’ve seen it first hand. It’s a crutch, a replacement, but almost everyone goes back if the root causes aren’t addressed. People make AA/NA their life but one day you can’t go to meets daily and eventually you have to face life again.

A lot of my friends growing up were kids of other AA folk and I’ve watched as they’re parents go back or find a new addiction. As for my own.. To make a long story very very short. They did too.

But the tricky thing is, when you’ve been this role model all these years for all these people it’s hard to fall. And with that, dishonesty can grow. No matter how accepting or open they want to seem, humans are humans.

Right now I have two full fledge addict of parents that are “highly regarded” members of AA with decades of supposed clean time. I believe a few people have caught on but most haven’t.

All these years I was told to live a sober life by liars who frankly still consume tons of drugs even at the meetings. Caffeine and nicotine are drugs still and I become a son of a bitch when it’s just those two in my life. I had my mother kick me out of the house for finding my drugs, only to find out later she used them. I could go on and on..

My life got infinitely better about 5 years ago. I stopped fighting who I was and decided that I was going to take what made me feel right and not let others sway me. Soon as I decided this my drug use became less problematic, I stopped blaming the drugs for my problems like everyone had me believe and started blaming myself.

It was hard but in the end all my issues were strictly my own doing, not the result of my drug use. My drug use was a symptom of my distaste for my situations.

I could go on and on but in a nutshell. Full on sobriety is an illusion that people who are high as hell will lie to you about. Notice how the few old timers that seem legit are angry as hell usually.

I personally think AA/Na is damaging just like organized religion. But I’ll end rant now

-GC

 

[JackARoe]

Nice rant G-Chem and I totally agree. I think AA/NA works for some people at some level. When I had to attend 35 years ago I did see some hard core alcoholics living in boxes get sober, get friends, get their families back, and yes, it became a religion for some but for them I applaud them for cleaning up anyway they can. The part of AA/NA that annoys me is the hypocrisy. If you make friends and leave the program you are basically labeled as someone heading back to using. And in my case they were right (lol) but there are many paths on how to live life, not just either you do 12 steps or you are not growing. I think the 12 steps (except the 1st!) are a decent guideline, and we should all take good inventory on our actions and life anyway, but AA/NA is not the only way and I was astounded at how quickly the people I thought were friends decided to not associate with me after I stopped going to the court ordered meetings. I left the cult so to speak. Ah well, I wish them well. Alcohol and caffeine are most certainly drugs too. lol I have nothing against that program other than I was told by my drug counselor that I was not going to make it if I didn't go and then he ups and OD's and well, that was my new beginning. Don't judge me, judge yourself and I can deal with people.

I think when I discovered the first Dale Pendell book Pharmako Poeia it sort of cleared things up, learning to be a master "poisoner" instead of substances being your master. That seemed a much better approach. However Dale made me wait 11 years for the Dynamis book that he advertised in the first book. But it eventually came out.

 

[G_Chem]

I should check that book out cuz that’s essentially the approach I took towards substances. My biggest problem with the program is giving up completely to a higher power, that we are too weak to do it ourselves. I believe most of us are strong enough to control our “addictions” we just haven’t found it yet. I have the same problem with organized religion, giving someone else power over your spiritual growth and feeling it can’t be done without.

Just as one can grow spiritually without the need to go to church every Sunday, same can be said about drugs. (I know I’m preaching to the choir here but feel it still be said.)

I do agree 100% that there’s a lot of good in the steps. But again bringing it back to organized religion, it’s not long before people take an interpret things how they want. Such as that the 12 steps are the only way, or which substances are and aren’t acceptable. Bill W was a known advocate of LSD use for certain individuals who needed that extra push to realization, yet no one wants to remember or honor that but if your doctor says all these pills are ok then everything’s good..

Yea it’s definitely a cult mentality in there.

-GC

 

[JackARoe]

I have the same problem with organized religion, giving someone else power over your spiritual growth and feeling it can’t be done without.

Agreed. I always take that further, The Guru, The Shaman, The Higher Power, is Me. I never need anything outside myself for the most important things. We use to have people chasing Guru's now we have them chasing Shamans. A lot of wiser folks figured out we just have to have faith in ourselves.

Bill W was a known advocate of LSD use for certain individuals who needed that extra push to realization, yet no one wants to remember or honor that but if your doctor says all these pills are ok then everything’s good.

I consider that blasphemy and hypocrisy, two of the worst biblical sins there are. lol Reminds me of a lot of "spiritual teachers" that got kick started by psychedelics, but never mention them anymore as to reach the main stream audience and not frighten anyone. Denying that is a sin. Hell, as much as Deepak Chopra annoys me he even at least admitted it was LSD that kick started him on the path he is on. I do not believe we should turn our back on the things that brought us to where we are.

But back to the OP's post. I read it again. Damn that is a great description of first times and all the thoughts that go with it. Excellent writing. I hope you don't mind us using your thread to banter a bit.

 

[Xorkoth]

I couldn't agree more with some of the discussion regarding addiction and the danger of opiates. I was addicted to opiates for 10 years, various ones at various times. Slipping into addiction is a gradual and insidious process. it's insidious because it doesn't feel like it's happening. You make a series of individual, seemingly innocuous decisions that gradually lead to a vastly altered lifestyle and thought process. I went from a guy without much of a care in the world to someone who wanted to die and hated himself over those 10 years. The daily failure to be able to change your destructive behavior, the lying to others, the financial burden, all of it leads to serious self-esteem issues, which only further drive the cycle. I do always say to anyone that if you haven't tried opiates (not just heroin), don't even go there. Best case scenario is that you'll get high, temporarily feel good, and come down, and gain nothing. But if you tend to abuse drugs, or if you have some source of pain you're dealing with, chances are very high that you'll deeply regret having gone there, because once you've felt that relief, it's really hard to forget it.

 

[aLinkToTheAss]

Tread with caution. Was it tar or something else?

It was tar. Next time I'm gonna purify it a bit with an acid base extraction. I wonder why so many drugs are bases...

 

[aLinkToTheAss]

I couldn't agree more with some of the discussion regarding addiction and the danger of opiates. I was addicted to opiates for 10 years, various ones at various times. Slipping into addiction is a gradual and insidious process. it's insidious because it doesn't feel like it's happening. You make a series of individual, seemingly innocuous decisions that gradually lead to a vastly altered lifestyle and thought process. I went from a guy without much of a care in the world to someone who wanted to die and hated himself over those 10 years. The daily failure to be able to change your destructive behavior, the lying to others, the financial burden, all of it leads to serious self-esteem issues, which only further drive the cycle. I do always say to anyone that if you haven't tried opiates (not just heroin), don't even go there. Best case scenario is that you'll get high, temporarily feel good, and come down, and gain nothing. But if you tend to abuse drugs, or if you have some source of pain you're dealing with, chances are very high that you'll deeply regret having gone there, because once you've felt that relief, it's really hard to forget it.

I certainly experienced fleeting sensation of being free from all my problems. More so than any other drug I've tried. Thankfully the obsession to take it again faded in a few days, but I still wan't to find the will power to incorporate it into my life in such a way that I never develop a tolerance to it. I feel safe knowing that if I ever feel that bad again, as long as it's been a while since I last took heroin, I have the option to experience that kind of relief.

 

[aLinkToTheAss]

i've been a heroin addict (crack too) since 1999, i was 19, i felt minor trepidation at trying what i had heard that was the most evil drug in the world. the buzz from the first bag i bought was weird, not at all what i thought it was gonna be like, i can't say i liked it when i first tried it. it tasted fucking horrible and made me sick. it took a week to get addicted and THEN it got good. my first time experiencing withdrawal was mild, but at the time i would've rather died. in my experience it wasn't until i had an addiction (after blazing gear every day for a week, decent gear too) that i found that heroin was fucking amazing. 20 years later and many thousands of pounds spent on all sorts of drugs that were gear and werent gear (getting ripped off) i can safely say that i hate that i love it. a true addict will understand what i mean.

I have two questions. What the fuck does "gear" mean? And this next one could offend you, so please prepare yourself, and try to forgive me for my invasive curiosity. I get that the drug info probably diddn't fill the internet in the 90's like it does today, but why did you immediately start using multiple times weekly? Don't people usualy subconsciously convince themselves to use on regular basis after months or years of moderation?

 

[aLinkToTheAss]

I IV but tar is best smoked in my opinion. If you think smoking it is amazing shooting it would blow your mind.

That's probably true, but I'm gonna try to avoid graduating to the needle. I don't remotely trust my ability to control myself if heroin got any better.

 

[Xorkoth]

I certainly experienced fleeting sensation of being free from all my problems. More so than any other drug I've tried. Thankfully the obsession to take it again faded in a few days, but I still wan't to find the will power to incorporate it into my life in such a way that I never develop a tolerance to it. I feel safe knowing that if I ever feel that bad again, as long as it's been a while since I last took heroin, I have the option to experience that kind of relief.

This is precisely how it started for me. I used opiates responsibly for a while, but then once a week became twice a week, became every other day, became every day, etc. It was a slow progression. I'm not saying it's not possible to use it every so often and remain fine, but it's seriously playing with fire.

That's probably true, but I'm gonna try to avoid graduating to the needle. I don't remotely trust my ability to control myself if heroin got any better.

Yeah, good idea. The needle is the one line I have never crossed with drugs, and I'm so glad because I'd probably be dead by now or else living on the streets.

 

[garym]

I have two questions. What the fuck does "gear" mean? And this next one could offend you, so please prepare yourself, and try to forgive me for my invasive curiosity. I get that the drug info probably diddn't fill the internet in the 90's like it does today, but why did you immediately start using multiple times weekly? Don't people usualy subconsciously convince themselves to use on regular basis after months or years of moderation?

gear is a uk slang term for heroin and the reason i started using everyday is cos i loved it. the feeling of being fucked on heroin was/is like nothing i've ever known. also mate, there'd be not a lot you could say that would offend me. hope i've answered your questions.

 

[aLinkToTheAss]

gear is a uk slang term for heroin and the reason i started using everyday is cos i loved it. the feeling of being fucked on heroin was/is like nothing i've ever known. also mate, there'd be not a lot you could say that would offend me. hope i've answered your questions.

Thank you.

 

[aLinkToTheAss]

This is precisely how it started for me. I used opiates responsibly for a while, but then once a week became twice a week, became every other day, became every day, etc. It was a slow progression. I'm not saying it's not possible to use it every so often and remain fine, but it's seriously playing with fire.



Yeah, good idea. The needle is the one line I have never crossed with drugs, and I'm so glad because I'd probably be dead by now or else living on the streets.

I'm thinking I'm only gonna use it if I'm insanely depressed, and it's been at least a month since a last used it. I'm only really afraid of the habit potentially getting dangerous years from now, considering all the other drugs I have that I like more to fall back on. But Idealy I wont have a need for it at all by then.