SKL
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2007
- Messages
- 14,647
I am doing a little retrospective ...
Heroin. One glassine bag stamped with the words “HAPPY LIFE,” dissolved in water, intravenously. First time taking diamorphine by any route, or any psychoactive drug by injection. With a close friend, lying in bed.
In seconds I am in an altered state. There is a visceral warmth rushing across my body. My visual field darkens as my pupils constrict, and my attention is drawn inward, rather than outward. I feel like I am floating in warm water. There is giddiness, butterflies in the stomach, a touch of nausea. I feel like I am seeing and perceiving through a veil of gauze or lace. This is not a pure euphoria, thought – there is not an upward euphoric “push” like there is with a good psychedelic experiences, but rather, the well-being I feel is strictly palliative; that is, an absence of all the things that I was feeling a moment ago that were making me feel unwell. This is not euphoria, but rather euthymia. I feel utterly content. I have no desire to do anything at all but look inwardly at my own contentedness. As I do I drift into a warm, dreamy state that is half-asleep, half-awake. Intermittently, I startle for a moment, take in my surroundings, and return to the nod, until an hour or so has passed. I then regain my momentum to at least walk about and talk socially. I am still free of even the most fleeting worries, anxieties, physical and psychic pains. It fades in another two or three hours although I am still a bit intoxicated until hour five or six.
Heroin. One glassine bag stamped with the words “HAPPY LIFE,” dissolved in water, intravenously. First time taking diamorphine by any route, or any psychoactive drug by injection. With a close friend, lying in bed.
In seconds I am in an altered state. There is a visceral warmth rushing across my body. My visual field darkens as my pupils constrict, and my attention is drawn inward, rather than outward. I feel like I am floating in warm water. There is giddiness, butterflies in the stomach, a touch of nausea. I feel like I am seeing and perceiving through a veil of gauze or lace. This is not a pure euphoria, thought – there is not an upward euphoric “push” like there is with a good psychedelic experiences, but rather, the well-being I feel is strictly palliative; that is, an absence of all the things that I was feeling a moment ago that were making me feel unwell. This is not euphoria, but rather euthymia. I feel utterly content. I have no desire to do anything at all but look inwardly at my own contentedness. As I do I drift into a warm, dreamy state that is half-asleep, half-awake. Intermittently, I startle for a moment, take in my surroundings, and return to the nod, until an hour or so has passed. I then regain my momentum to at least walk about and talk socially. I am still free of even the most fleeting worries, anxieties, physical and psychic pains. It fades in another two or three hours although I am still a bit intoxicated until hour five or six.
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