I was a heroin addict from 2011 to 2014, then I switched to kratom but would only use heroin when I had some severe trauma in my life I wanted to escape from. But yes I think you are right my body has changed and I cannot tolerate it anymore. Even shooting a tiny amount, I instantly feel it hit my brain and it actually seems to dull my mind and damage it. Instead of the wonderful rush I used to feel, now I just feel mentally retarded when I shoot up. ANd then after that, even a small dose, it gets hard to breathe for a couple minutes until my body adjusts to it. But the reason I always end up damaging myself with it is because it builds in my system. After 4 hrs I want to shoot up again, but there is still dope in my system from the last shot even though i dont feel good anymore. So I inevitably end up super high with my breathing really depressed and doing and being high for days on end like that deprives me of oxygen. I never realize how oxygen deprived I am because i feel like im breathing, but I must be breathing really shallow I guess.
Its not as bad as I initially feared, the time I overdosed for real was much worse. I had hallucinations that time, had trouble walking and other serious symptoms. It took me seven months to recover. So I am hoping in 2 weeks to 2 months at most Ill recover from this. I just feel retarded for damaging myself yet again.
My whole life has consisted of me abusing myself.